


Make It Rain

by Milner



Category: Divergent Series - Veronica Roth
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-02
Updated: 2016-02-05
Packaged: 2018-04-24 11:06:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 37
Words: 152,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4917235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Milner/pseuds/Milner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I know about you, about your Divergence. It's not safe for you anymore." Life is full of choices, and Beatrice Prior must decide what path she will take in a place where power, love, and betrayal come in equal measure, and who you trust can mean life or death. All characters belong to Veronica Roth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Take a Deep Breath

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again! Sorry for the long wait, but I don't think I need to explain to any of you how life goes :D First, I'd like to let everyone know that this story is already finished, and it's a long one, so no need to worry about it being abandoned. My update schedule will be Tuesday/Friday, unless something wild and crazy happens. Second, I'd like to thank BAMCN24 and BK2U for being my sounding boards and my betas. Really, when you work with people you get along with, the back and forth and questions and answers and ideas all flow back and forth, and it really ends up becoming more of a collaboration than anything. I may do the heavy lifting, but they both have their place in here. So make sure you thank these lovely ladies too, for they have also brought you an amazing, original story. I also have a Tumblr, MilnerWrites. I am lame and sometimes forget about it, but I will post sneak peeks for the next chapter and whatnot on it, so follow if you like. This story is rated T, for now... Ok, enough of that, and onto the good stuff. Enjoy!

"Sir? It's starting."

Those two simple words sent his heart racing. He waited with the others in front of the screen bank, making sure he was as close as he was allowed to be without pushing the limits. He didn't want to miss any of this. Especially _her_.

His eyes shifted and he cleared his throat, doing his best to keep a blank face and maintain a calm facade. Only he knew who she was. Nobody else noticed her that day.

"Ziegler. Amity," the first tech called out, and what little chatter there was immediately ceased.

"Yates. Dauntless."

"Waters. Abnegation."

"Walton. Erudite."

"Vance. Candor."

It took roughly five minutes for each of the candidates to go through the aptitude test simulation and for the result to register, the  complete database of results transmitting as soon as the live video feed cut off. Abnegation, in recent years, had been their main focus; their screen was the most crowded. He heard a few bets being made behind him and turned to stare at two men who shrank back, stopping their transaction. While not completely illegal, gambling was definitely frowned upon within the compound.

Turning back to the screen in front of him, he waited patiently for any signs of Divergence to appear. Only the strongest would be considered, the others left to fend for themselves. Divergence was never deemed to be a threat in the city until Norton was elected leader of Erudite, the trend continuing with his successor, Jeanine Matthews. It was decided then that a keen eye and constant observation were to be kept on the faction at all times. As in previous years, there would be no involvement unless circumstances were to become dire.

"Pedrad. Dauntless," he heard from down the line ― they were past the point of students going in and out uniformly, and he knew it wouldn't take long for the first signs to appear. It never did. The hesitation registered within the simulation instantly and sent an alert to the Bureau.

"Sir?"

"Wait."

The onlookers all shifted their attention and waited as instructed. As with all potentially inconclusive tests, the minutes seemed to drag on  until a decision was finally rendered.

"Sir?" the tech asked again. There was a slight hesitation that made him hopeful.

"No."

That was it. The first 'maybe' had turned into a 'no'.

The aptitude tests were a slow process, and often uneventful. He'd watched them for six years now, and in that time only eleven people had shown enough potential for them to even begin the discussion about a possible transfer. Of those eleven, only two were tapped, with just one having the capacity they were looking for. A slight memory alteration was all that was needed to place the other candidate back into their faction.

He hated waiting, especially today. The people around him were already restless, which meant that at some point they would inadvertently touch him more than he was comfortable with, and he found himself losing his patience.

"Prior, C. Abnegation." His eyes snapped back to the screen in front of him. He watched as the lanky boy took his seat, asking far too many questions that were never going to be answered. Odd behavior for an Abnegation.

They all watched closely, and when the boy ended up with an Erudite result, a woman behind him whistled. "You don't see that every day," she whispered. It was true. Most Abnegation were born to live and die that life.

"Prior, B. Abnegation."

He was certain his heart would betray him if anyone were paying attention. It thumped hard against his chest, pumping his blood faster through his body than it had ever traveled before, the vein in his neck feeling as if it were going to burst. He watched her as she nervously entered the room, and glanced in the mirror a little too long. His eyes shifted to David, who looked uninterested.

_Choose_. He knew the simulation was telling her what to do, but she stood still. He wished he had headphones like the techs did; she was talking and he had no idea what she was saying.

"Sir?"

"Wait."

His eyes were glued to the screen when the meat and the cheese disappeared; this had never happened before. He looked again to David, who wouldn't dare show any sign of relenting this early. But it was her, and he felt his hopes climbing higher.

He watched her submit to the dog, then chase after it when it threatened to attack the little girl. He thought for a moment that he was wrong. What could be more selfless than sacrificing oneself? The simulation moved on. She was on a bus, a horribly scarred man confronting her. He wished again for headphones, and momentarily thought about snatching the pair off the head of the tech in front of him. Finally, he saw her speak up and the simulation ended.

It was obvious that the Dauntless woman administering the test was panicked. They spoke very briefly, both of them looking scared. But Prior, B. ― Beatrice ― held her head high, and put on a brave face before she left the room.

"Sir?" The tech turned around. "Inconclusive."

"Which?" David asked.

"Only Candor and Amity were ruled out."

He watched David's face, searching for any sign of a 'yes', but saw nothing. "We'll wait."

"Sir," he said before he could stop himself. "I disagree." She had tested positive for three aptitudes — something that he had never seen before.

"Not now." David turned and shot him a look, and he stood down.

The rest of the candidates revealed nothing interesting, which left the boy from Dauntless ― Pedrad ― and Beatrice. The crowd dispersed, and he waited patiently for the signal from David. "Come," he said, and Four stepped forward, letting the council members, the people David trusted most, exit first. He and the other Bureau representatives followed silently until they were all secured in a conference room. David turned to his council. "Tell me what you think." Four knew better than to speak first.

"I don't think the boy is worth our time," James said. "The girl, however, shows promise." Four felt his hopes rise. David looked at each representative —from the simulation expert to the Bureau's top scientist to the lead physician— trying to read their faces. His gaze lingered on Four before he moved on. "Yes. But how _much_ promise?" The council members all looked to David, nodding slightly; they were already giving up the fight. They would concede and end up agreeing to whatever David said without a second thought. If he wanted her, Four knew he was going to have to fight for her.

"A lot," Four asserted. "Three aptitudes? When has that _ever_ happened? You have to pull her out, David. She could be what we've been looking for all this time." Four saw the scientist —Bethany — nodding from beside him.

"Four." His eyes drifted between Four and Bethany, and he instantly knew from David's tone that he was going to be dismissed. "The Government is being very… _selective_ now, and you know that. I just don't think we should use one of our pulls this soon."

"But, Sir―" Bethany interrupted. David held up his hand, and the two of them relented. It was clear by the looks on their faces that the remaining council members and designated representatives had already sided with David.

"Thank you for your time," David said, looking at each of them. "Perhaps we'll have better luck next year."

Four stood rigidly in place until everyone headed back to their jobs and respective offices, trying to keep his anger under control. He couldn't just accept this. He wouldn't. His strides were long and quick as he stalked down hallway after hallway until he was standing in front of David's door. The security guard positioned outside tipped his head, but didn't dare say anything to his superior. Four knocked hard. "Come in."

He half-expected to see some of the other council members there, but David was alone. "Four," David said. "What can I do for you?"

"You can pull her out." His voice was authoritative and mildly intimidating, somewhat risky considering his subordinate position. "She is the closest thing you have ever had to what you are searching for, so I don't understand."

"And you never will," David said firmly. "Now, please get back to your position."

Four felt himself getting hotter, and his hands were clenched so tightly his fingernails were digging into his palms. "No," he said. David looked up from the tablet in his hand. "I have a feeling about this one. I think she is it. David, please."

"Four, I don't think you are hearing me. The Government is stepping in now. All of this," he said, waving his hand around, "It's in jeopardy. They're already talking about doing a reset. _Again_." Four felt himself pitch forward. Even though he had no ties there anymore, that was still his city, his home. Those were still his people.

"I don't… Why?"

"The other cities are failing. They've _been_ failing. They aren't going to continue to fund us if any more mistakes are made. I can't risk the failure, Four. I don't want to be responsible for the city undergoing another reset."

Four didn't, either. "I understand. But before you make this final, will you look at her footage again? I think you at least owe these people that much." David studied him for a moment then nodded, and Four made his way to his post.

His watch beeped as soon as he walked into the security room. He lifted his wrist to see David's face. "Go for Four," he said, pressing the green button.

"I've changed my mind. Gather a team. You leave in thirty." He failed to suppress his smile as Amar turned in his chair.

"We got one?" he asked.

"We did. Want to head out with me?"

"Nah. I sent Davis out to fix one of the cameras near the border, so I'm gonna stay here. Take Briggs and Green with you."

"Green? Why, so I can deal with two nervous people?" Four said with a slight grin. "No, thanks. I'll take Jones instead."

"Suit yourself. Got a body prepared?"

"Shit."

This was his least favorite part. He'd never seen it firsthand, but he knew he couldn't extract her without leaving a replacement. It was hell on the families, but it had to be done: the city would fall into complete panic if one of its members just up and vanished. He did double duty, calling Briggs and Jones as he ran down the hall to the morgue.

"Blonde. Female. Sixteen. Thin and short." The doctor raised an eyebrow as he tapped on his tablet.

"Got a Fringe that pretty much fits that description. Why?"

"Extraction."

"Where?" he asked, his eyes widening.

"Abnegation."

"Interesting. I'll have her prepped and waiting in ten."

Four met up with the others just as the body was being wheeled out. He was thankful he didn't have to look at her, not that he hadn't seen his share of dead bodies over the years.

"The bag she's in will warm the body enough that no one will be able to tell she was ever in cold storage. Clothes are in the side pocket. Abnegation, so don't forget to put her hair up. Pins are in there, too. Face usually works best for non-detection, and some blood is included that you can add for effect, so…" The doctor trailed off, but they all knew what he meant. They were going to have to make her unrecognizable.

"Thanks," Four said. Briggs and Jones slid the body bag off the gurney and into the back of the van.

They didn't usually do extractions during the day, but if they wanted to pull her out before Choosing Day, they had to work fast. Abnegation was one of the easiest factions to get in and out of, fortunately, mitigating the risk of discovery. David was with the techs who were keeping an eye on her whereabouts. Four watched the wall loom larger and larger the closer they got.

"Factionless quadrant," Four heard David's voice through his earpiece. He adjusted his route slightly, surprised by her location. "She was sent home early, so you will probably have an hour before she even thinks about heading back home. She looks like she's just wandering around, lost in her thoughts."

"Wouldn't you be if you had those results thrown at you?" David didn't respond. Four pressed harder on the accelerator.

They entered the long tunnel to the city, the lights inside activating just far enough ahead of him that he could maintain his speed. Four drove until they reached the tunnel that would lead them to the extraction point. He parked the van and they all hopped out; they would have to continue on foot through the smaller tunnel.

"Want to do the honors?" Briggs asked, thrusting his hips at the body bag. Four didn't hesitate to punch him right in his mouth.

"Ow! Christ! What was that for?" he said, spitting blood.

"Because you're fucking disgusting. That's a human being in there. Show a little respect. Jones, you do it while this asshole opens the tunnel entrance." Briggs threw him a look, but swiped his card and opened the door.

Four had only seen a woman naked once, by mistake. He had walked into the locker room and happened upon one of the guys who was showing off some pictures of his girlfriend. Four had averted his eyes quickly, but he still saw it. He thought about it sometimes, late at night in his room. He often felt guilty afterwards, but replaced the guilt with memories of his pleasure.

"Ready," Jones called out, and Four came around the van. She didn't look anything like Beatrice, but she would be convincing enough.

"Status," Four said into his watch.

"Factionless still, heading west. Sector three," David responded in his ear. "Five minutes, tops."

"Affirmative. I'll be in contact after we collect her."

They wheeled over a gurney that was kept in the tunnel for this exact purpose, and placed the Fringe girl on it. Her body was no longer stiff from cold storage. Four wondered how long she had been dead.

They walked through the entrance and down the tunnel until they arrived at a door that gave them access to the city. "Anyone?" Four whispered.

"Nah," Briggs said, showing the heat signature scan he just took. Four undid the latch, and eased the hidden door open, pressing a button that released a shelving unit from the wall. Jones threw the Fringe girl over his shoulder, and they crept out into the abandoned building.

"Confirmation," Four said into his earpiece.

"Sector three still. Near Water Street." He pointed to his left, and Briggs and Jones nodded. He took a deep breath, and led the way. "All clear," David said in his ear, and they made their way outside.

Water Street was only a few buildings away. He signaled 5 minutes for the other two to take care of the body while he went after Beatrice.

"Left now," in his ear again. He turned down an alleyway and crept to the end of the building. He was momentarily taken aback by the sight of her, wandering right there in front of him.

Beatrice stopped in her tracks and looked around. She could sense that something was off. She _felt_ it. It had been a long time since anyone was attacked in factionless, but the thought still crossed her mind as she spun around, realizing that she had been lost in her own thoughts for far too long. There was nothing there as far as she could tell.

She let her thoughts drift back to her aptitude test as she walked, kicking pebbles aside. What was she supposed to choose? Dauntless? Erudite? Abnegation? How could a single person be all of those things? It didn't seem possible. The woman had called her Divergent. She had never heard that term before in her life, but if there was a name for it, then there had to be others like her. Were they hiding, too? Were they dangerous? Was _she_? She shook her head. Deep down she knew that she'd hoped for any result other than Abnegation. She never imagined that this was going to be what she got.

She heard a noise and turned to see someone emerging from an alley, hands held up. She backed up instinctively, taking in his appearance, trying to determine if he was a threat. He was dressed in all black like the Dauntless, only he didn't look Dauntless. He wore things she had never seen before, and there was a blinking light in his ear.

"Beatrice." His voice was deep ― it took her by surprise. It almost didn't register that he knew her name. "Please don't be frightened. I'm not going to hurt you." She didn't have anywhere to go. Her back was to the building, and something told her that if she ran left or right he'd be faster than her, so she stayed put.

"Who are you? How do you know my name?" She was scared, but she didn't let it show in her voice.

"I don't have time to explain everything right now, but I know about you. About your Divergence." She took a breath in and looked around in case somebody was listening. What would they do if they knew? Who was this man? Maybe he was the reason she had been warned and it was already too late. She realized her panicked mistake, and did her best to recover.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes, you do. I saw you. You didn't choose the knife or the meat."

Her attempt at recovery was blown. She was speechless. Her heart was beating so fast she had to take a minute to compose herself. Beatrice took a few deep breaths, and the man put his hands down. She looked up at him and was instantly, inexplicably drawn into his deep blue eyes. She took in his other features ―his full lower lip and his ears that stuck out a little too far― and realized that he was not a man like his voice suggested, but a boy who couldn't be much older than she was.

"It's not safe here for you anymore. If you'll trust me, I can take you somewhere that is." His voice was low, but urgent.

"Not safe? But I was told… the woman who administered my test told me Abnegation would keep me safe. What other faction is there?"

"I don't mean another faction, Beatrice. I mean the city. It's not safe for you anywhere inside of these walls."

The world slowly tilted as his words sank in. If it wasn't safe inside the walls, then that meant… "Outside?" she whispered.

"Outside," he confirmed.

He held out his hand, and she looked down. It was large, much larger than hers, but perhaps it was just the gloves he was wearing ― utility gloves that reminded her vaguely of what the Dauntless patrols wore, yet they looked nothing like them. Her eyes took in his appearance one more time, and he was softer now, familiar even. She believed him. He didn't look like any faction.

The idea of going outside the city walls ignited something deep inside of her. She could finally be free of Abnegation's stifling hold. She wouldn't have to worry about fitting in with any other faction and she wouldn't have to worry about being a danger to her family or anyone else. She could just… _be_.

She took a deep breath, then took his hand.


	2. Placing The Blame

Beatrice was led down the alleys and into the basement of an abandoned building. She was quiet, observant, and left wondering how they were supposed to get out of the city from inside of a building. Her eyes widened as two more men joined them.

"Guys, this is Beatrice. The short one is Jones, and the one with the fat lip is Briggs. I'm Four."

She wondered if everyone outside of the city had such odd names. "Hello." It was barely more than a whisper, and she bowed her head in the only greeting she knew. Briggs laughed.

"Hi," Jones said, shooting Briggs a look.

"You stick with me," Four muttered under his breath. She took a step closer to him.

She watched as they pulled a shelving unit aside and pressed on the wall, revealing a perfectly hidden doorway. Four stepped through and offered his hand to her; Beatrice hesitated for just a second before taking it. Her eyes immediately focused on the gurney and she backed up, panicked, only to run into someone.

"You're not having second thoughts, are ya, sweetheart?" Briggs said from behind her. Four's eyes snapped to him.

"Enough." Even Beatrice understood it was a command to be taken seriously. "Get the gurney." Briggs let out a loud breath and knocked into her as he passed by.

"Don't mind him," she heard, and turned to see the other guy ― Jones ― smiling at her. "He's an ass."

Briggs led the way, and Four motioned with his head for her to follow. He held a dim light, so she focused on that as they walked. She heard only their footsteps and the gurney as it rolled along, until a few turns resulted in another door. Briggs swiped his card; there was a beep followed by the door opening. Her mouth fell open when she saw the clean, well-lit room and a van that looked to be in working order.

"Ever been in one?" Four asked. She closed her mouth and shook her head. There weren't many cars in Abnegation; it would have been too selfish to accept a ride in one anyway. "I'll drive slowly, then."

He opened the door for her, and she was surprised at how comfortable it was when she sat. Much more comfortable than the bus, and she didn't have to worry about giving her seat up to anyone. Four walked around to the other side and climbed in. "Ready?" She nodded. He started the car, and she felt herself tense; there were lights and buttons everywhere, and an obnoxious dinging noise sounded throughout. "You have to put on your seatbelt." Her head whipped to the left, and she watched as he reached behind him and pulled some kind of strap across his body, clicking it in place. She fumbled around for a second, and did the same. The dinging stopped.

Her stomach lurched as the van began to move. She knew how she must seem to them ― sheltered and naive ― but she didn't care. They clearly understood where she was from, so they had to expect this type of reaction from her. Her eyes were glued to the road, watching the tunnel light up as they drove, and she felt anticipation rising in her when she could finally see daylight up ahead.

Beatrice wasn't sure what she had expected to feel once they emerged, but disappointment wasn't it. There was nothing but trees and sparse grass and an old road that seemed like it could have been transplanted from the city. It looked exactly like the pictures she had seen in her history book.

"Hey," Four said softly. She turned her head to see one side of his mouth lifted a little higher than the other. "Look in the mirror." She stared at him for a moment until he motioned past her with his head. She turned towards the window; she hadn't even noticed the small mirror attached to the side of the van. The wall loomed larger than life in it, even though it was far away. Her heart rate increased when she realized she had never seen this side of it. "It'll be okay," Four said. She wasn't sure why, but she felt relaxed around him.

Her eyes scanned every inch they could as they drove. When another building started to come into view, she sat a little straighter. They passed it, and again it looked like some weird factionless transplant from home. The decrepit road, the shambles of a building: perhaps the war really had been as bad as they had said.

The buildings grew in number as they continued. Some of them looked worse than anything in the factionless sector, while others looked like they just needed to be dusted off before they could be habitable again. Some were as large as the one Abnegation hosts the Council meetings in, while others were no bigger than her own home.

They also passed signs with pictures and words she didn't understand. Most of them were faded or torn, but there were still pieces of them there: a smiling mouth, a toothbrush with the word Colgate underneath, a glass filled with something brown. She tried to guess what word the letters OLA belonged to, but came up blank. She eventually gave up trying to make rhyme or reason out of any of it. Nothing made sense.

"Where are we going?" she finally asked.

"It's kind of hard to explain without seeing it. We'll be there soon, though." She nodded her head and looked back out the window. She didn't have to look in the mirror anymore ― she could see the Hub towering over the wall in the distance. She leaned her head against the cool glass and caught her reflection in the mirror. She knew she should look away, but she didn't.

Her ears perked and she turned her head when Four cleared his throat. "We're here."

The first thing she noticed was a fence. She looked at Four with concern on her face, but he just motioned for her to look ahead. The road took them directly to a little building.

"Hey, Four," a woman said. "Out doing patrol?"

"Extraction."

"Oh." The woman looked around him and gave a very quick nod to Beatrice. "Just need your badge." He unzipped his jacket and handed it to her. She scanned it, looked at her tablet, and handed it back to him.

"Quick run," she said.

"Good subject," he replied. The woman glanced at her once more before pressing a button. A loud buzz startled Beatrice, but the gate started to move and suddenly they were inside. They drove for a short while until they came upon another gate. They went through the same routine, and Beatrice got the same look, from a man this time, but she was too distracted by the enormous building in front of her to notice.

"This," Four said with a sweep of his hand, "Is the Bureau of Genetic Welfare."

"The what?"

He let out a small laugh while she stared on in confusion. "Just trust me when I say you're going to have to come inside to understand."

She looked over, wanting to distrust him, looking for any reason to think that this was a bad idea, but she couldn't find one. Again, his eyes caught her attention, and they brought a sense of familiarity along with the instinct to trust. She gave him a small nod and watched as he got out of the car.

She looked at her own door, but didn't have the first clue what she should do. By the time she noticed a handle that looked like it could be pulled, Four was already opening it for her. She leaned forward, then shook her head when she realized she was still strapped in. She looked at where the belt connected and pressed the red button. Nothing happened.

"It sticks sometimes," Four said. She pressed it again, more firmly, but it held fast. "Here, let me." He reached over her and she held her breath as his forearm rested lightly against her hip. He tried not to think about their proximity as he pressed and wiggled until it let go.

"Thank you," she breathed out.

"You're welcome."

She hopped out of the van and followed Four toward a set of glass doors. She could see some people inside, but they looked nothing like she had imagined. They looked like people, of course, but their clothes and their hair and even the way they walked was foreign to her. Beatrice was used to a life of making herself small and unnoticed; these people walked with confidence, almost like the Dauntless.

Inside, a variety of sounds and smells assaulted her all at once, leaving her unable to separate or identify any of them. Four held out his badge again, this time to a woman with a wide smile who wasn't much taller than Beatrice. She scanned it and looked quickly from her tablet to Four to Beatrice.

"David will want to see her right away," the woman said.

"No, she's not ready. Let's get her in the dorms and out of those clothes if she wants. A hot meal, too. It's almost dinner and the cafeteria isn't happening tonight." The woman nodded as she started to type something on her tablet. "Oh, and Zoe? Set me up with her." Zoe looked from Four to Beatrice and back, a smile growing on her face.

"I know I promised you answers, but let's get you out of the main unit and into someplace more private, okay?" Beatrice didn't know what to think, or even where to look, so she just nodded and followed Four like a little child following its parent. They took a few turns, which she tried to memorize, but gave up after a while. She was surprised to see Zoe meet back up with them so quickly.

"So, let me properly introduce myself: I'm Zoe."

"Beatrice."

"I know. So listen, I know this is all scary and new, but between me and Four, we're gonna get you situated, okay? I have someone from the kitchen bringing you some food, and someone from housekeeping is grabbing some clothes for you if you want to change. We'll get you a tablet and let you navigate with it while we tell you all about the program and testing, and get a meeting set up with David, and―"

"Zoe," Four interrupted. He was watching Beatrice try to wrap her head around every word that was coming out of Zoe's mouth.

"Oh, sorry! I forgot that you don't really know what I'm talking about. Four will get you settled then, and I'll be by to check on you in a little bit." She smiled, and Beatrice tried her best to return it. "Two and three," Zoe added before leaving again. Beatrice didn't even realize they had stopped walking.

"It's a bit confusing at first, but you'll get it soon," Four reassured. "Which room would you like?"

"Room?"

"Yeah." Four motioned in front of him to the doors right next to each other with a large two and three on them.

"Oh. Umm, three, I guess."

He opened the door and waited for her to go inside. It looked remarkably similar to her room in Abnegation: a twin bed, a dresser, and a desk. No window, though. Based on all the turns they took it made sense, since they seemed to be nowhere near an outer wall.

"Housekeeping," a woman said from behind them. She was in a green jumpsuit and was pushing a small cart full of various items. "Oh," she said, looking at Beatrice. "Zoe didn't tell me you were so small! No matter. Take what fits, and leave the rest in here. I'll bring you some smaller things tomorrow. There are some toiletries in here, and sheets for your bed, too. Oh, and there's an extra blanket in one of the drawers." Four took the cart from her and wheeled it into the room, thanking the woman.

"Do you want to shower or change or anything?" Beatrice didn't know how to answer the question, so she shook her head. "Okay, there's no rush. I know they're sort of persistent, but like Zoe, they tend to forget that you don't know anything yet. Speaking of which, let me go and get a tablet, and then we can talk." He gave her a tight smile, and left her alone.

Unsure of what to do, she made the bed and picked up a few articles of clothing before setting them back down. Blue, green, red, black, brown. She had never dreamed of wearing anything like what she'd been brought. She was torn between wanting to never take off her simple gray clothes, and wanting to burn them so she never had to see them again. She turned when she heard a knock on the door.

"Ready?" Four asked, and she nodded. He motioned for her to follow him, and they walked down the hallway to a small room outfitted with a couple of tables, a couple of couches, and a large green plant. For some reason it struck her as out of place.

"This is just a common room," Four said as he led her to a table with food on it. "I know you're in no rush to get out there and be bombarded with questions."

"Or tests," she said as she sat down.

Four raised an eyebrow and joined her. "Or tests."

They ate soup and sandwiches in silence. While it was a common meal in Abnegation, she had never had soup like this before. It was so full of chicken and noodles and vegetables, completely unlike the watered-down version Abnegation made. And the sandwich, a simple cheese one, was hot and delicious. She devoured both like she was factionless, and felt heat creep up the back of her neck when she realized Four was watching her. "Sorry."

"No need to apologize," he said, waving his hand. He slid the other half of his sandwich over to her. "I remember the first time I had real food, too." She eyed him for a second before pushing the plate back.

"Beatrice, this isn't Abnegation. You don't have to live by those rules anymore." She contemplated his words for a moment, then nodded, taking the sandwich when he offered it again. When she was finished, Four slid his chair a little closer to hers and set the tablet down between them. He showed her how to turn it on and off, and how to navigate her way back to the starting point if she ever got lost.

They began their evening by looking at pictures of cities before the war. Her eyes were glued to the screen as he took his time scrolling through each one until the smiling faces and beautiful scenery slowly gave way to ugly, violent images. Her heart ached at the looks of anguish and terror and anger on people's faces, and she was left wondering what could create such a change.

"Genetics," Four said, as if reading her mind. "There were scientists who thought if they could find a way to take all of the bad attributes out of people, they could create a perfect society. They asked for volunteers and about half the population stepped up. But things didn't go like they planned and the bad traits became the dominant ones. The people were violent, destructive. They stole and killed and slowly destroyed themselves one by one." He paused, allowing Beatrice a moment to process.

Her face was unreadable to him, but her heart and her mind were racing. She reached out and took the tablet. He watched as she scrolled through the photos, back through the damage to the world that existed before. "I don't understand," she whispered. "They all look so happy. Could it have really been that bad?"

"I don't know," Four stated. He had sometimes wondered that himself. He was surprised at how well she was taking things.

"So, there really was a war?"

"Yeah. The genetically damaged, as they were called, against the genetically pure ― those who didn't volunteer. You saw the damage that was done."

She sat for a moment, thinking about everything she had seen on her way to the Bureau and everything she knew ― or had thought she knew. "So, how do I fit in?"

"Divergent," he said, tapping the side of his head. "It's not as dangerous as you think it is." She raised an eyebrow at him. "The scientists ― the same ones who messed it all up ― their successors tried to find a way to correct the damaged genes. And they set up cities like yours as an experiment."

Her mind raced as she thought about her entire life ― about her family and her schooling and her friends and the factions ― and how none of it was real. She felt like crying; everything she had ever known had been a lie. It was all for nothing. Beatrice didn't want Four to see her break down; he thought she was strong enough to hear the truth, and she didn't want to let him down. She stood up, the chair scraping against the cold tile, and started to walk away. "Beatrice," he called after her, but she closed herself inside of room three and slid down the door as the first tear fell.

 

* * *

 

"They found the body," Four heard. He looked up quickly. He didn't know how long he had been sitting there, looking at the pictures on the tablet and giving Beatrice the space she needed. Zoe's face didn't have its usual smile.

"How are they taking it?"

"The usual. Crying. Comforting." She left when he didn't say anything. He struggled with wanting to let Beatrice know and keeping the pain from her. He sighed and stood; he was startled to find her standing there.

"My parents?" she asked, having overheard what had been said. There was no use in keeping it a secret, so he nodded. She bit her lip; he could tell she had been crying. She looked like she might do it again. Four wanted to comfort her ― she deserved it, at the very least ― but he worried about her upbringing and whether it would make things worse for her. So he waited until her eyes met his. There was sadness on the surface, but underneath was that determination he had seen on the screens.

"It was the only way," he said. She nodded once.

She didn't have to say the words she was thinking out loud; he walked past her and she followed silently. Four made sure she was paying attention to each turn until they ended up in the main unit, where he led her over to the screens. Her eyes were clear and focused again, all signs of crying gone.

"This is the screen bank. It's where we watch the city." He spoke so only she could hear. "It's how we knew about you." While they hadn't gotten into the specifics, she wasn't an idiot. She knew they came to her for a reason. Her eyes went from screen to screen ― from Amity to what looked like Erudite ― until they landed on her parents.

They were inside the Council headquarters. There were others there, and she knew by their looks and their hand gestures that they were discussing what to do about her death. Her heart squeezed tightly as she watched her mother's head fall and her shoulders shake. Her father patted her mother softly on the back; it made Beatrice angry. She was _dead_ , and they were still too polite to properly grieve and comfort each other.

She looked at Four, and for a moment she blamed him for everything. But there was a look in his eye, something akin to sadness, that stopped her. She knew then that blaming him was misdirected. He didn't make this decision; he wasn't the one in charge.

She watched as her parents exited the room. The people in front of her said a few things before the screen changed: she was now looking at what was supposed to be her body. The face could only be described as meat ― it wasn't even recognizable as belonging to a human being. She leveled Four with a glare. _This_ he was responsible for. _This_ she could be upset about. She walked away, not wanting to watch what would happen next.


	3. Choices and Change

Four lay there for hours, only a thin wall separating him from Beatrice, wondering if he had done the right thing. He had been so sure of her. Sure that she would respond to this better than he'd done, sure that she would be the answer to all the questions he had, sure that she was the right choice. But in her moment of weakness he had failed her by allowing doubt to creep in, and he hated himself for it. He should have comforted her or done a better job of explaining what was going on. He shouldn't have let her come to her own conclusions.

His guilt-ridden mind didn't allow for much sleep, so he did the only thing he knew to relieve the thoughts running rampant in his head ― he got dressed and headed to the Dauntless area of the compound.

It didn't get much use during the night, but he was happy to be alone. He pulled on a pair of gloves, swinging and hitting the bag in front of him until his hands felt numb even through the padding. His arms were exhausted and weak, his torso tender. The only functional things left on him were his legs, and he was grateful for that as he walked back, drenched in the guilt he had tried to shed over the past two hours. He was so focused on the thought of a scalding hot shower to ease away his pain that he didn't notice her door was wide open.

The heat burned his skin, boring deep into his muscles as he arched and stretched the ache away. He planted his hands on the wall and let the water beat down on his head; it ran over taut muscles and ink and scars, slowly relaxing his body and washing away the last thoughts of his night. He vowed to do better, to be there for her the way he had needed someone to be there for him.

He emerged from the bathroom, rubbing his head with a towel and lamenting the lack of freedom that came with his temporary relocation. In his quarters he didn't have to get dressed in his own steamy bathroom; he was free to walk around naked if he chose. But staying in the dorms presented a whole different array of problems, which he realized as he pulled the towel away to see Beatrice standing there.

She looked lost and out of place in a pair of tight black pants and a red t-shirt. His mouth lifted a little when he saw her hair was still pulled up in its standard bun. "Morning," he said, his voice deep and raspy from lack of sleep.

"Good morning," she replied, with a slight bow of her head. She watched as he tossed the towel aside and ran his fingers through his short hair. She had the urge to do the same thing to her own.

"So, I thought that I would take you around, show you the compound, if you're up to it." She studied his face for a moment, wondering just what his story was. Beatrice hadn't had much interaction with the people here, but even from that limited exposure, she could tell there was a difference between Four and the others. She nodded and followed him as he pointed out their path again.

"Cafeteria," he said as he pointed to a sign on the wall and pulled the heavy door open. Beatrice took in the sheer amount of space in just this one room, wondering how big the Bureau really was. She followed quietly to wait in line with him, and took a step closer to Four when someone came up behind her.

Beatrice was used to oatmeal, plain eggs, plain toast, fruit. She didn't know what to do with the choices laid out before her when they reached the front of the line. "The usual Abnegation stuff is all here, if you want it," Four said, glancing at her over his shoulder. "You should try the French toast, though." She had no idea what that meant, so she just took what he did, albeit in smaller portions.

They found a table in the back that was unoccupied and sat next to each other. She watched as he held up a small white container, peeled the top off, and poured the contents all over what he had called French toast. She did the same, and he paused to watch her take her first bite. She was about to object to being watched, but her eyes went wide as her tongue went into overdrive at the new flavor and sensation.

"That's maple syrup," he said, a small smile on his lips. "Good, huh?"

"Mmm-hmm," she hummed, taking another, larger bite.

She cleaned her plate ― even the eggs tasted better ― and waited patiently for Four to tell her what was next. Someone came by to clear their mess, and again she was acutely aware of just how different things were here.

Four stood and motioned for her to follow him. Her eyes were constantly moving back and forth, trying to take in everything at once. He walked slowly, giving her a chance to learn the paths and watch the people as they went about their daily routines. The further they went, the thinner the crowd became. Generally, only those that worked in research and development were in this wing.

He came to a stop in front of a door, her eyes glancing at the large flames painted on it before quickly making their way back to him. "Four, where am I?" The question had multiple meanings, he knew.

"This is the research and development wing of the compound. As for where the compound is, we'll get to that later. Beatrice, welcome to Dauntless." She felt a small surge of adrenaline as he opened the door with the flames on it.

She didn't _actually_ expect to walk right into Dauntless, but she also didn't expect a large room that was mostly empty, either. She turned her head and waited patiently for an explanation.

"Here at the Bureau, we have teams that specialize in each faction. It's their job to come up with new research to help the city run efficiently. Being that this is Dauntless, the weapons, fighting styles, even the routes they take on their patrols are all tested and mapped out here first."

"Tested? I… I'm not sure I understand."

"You will later, when we visit Erudite." Her interest was piqued at the mention of her other would-be faction.

He walked through the large room and she followed, noting the bags hanging from the ceiling, the tables that seemed to go along with wood blocks on the walls, and the cabinets that were placed throughout. Four went straight to a specific cabinet and opened it. She stopped in her tracks when the gleam of a knife caught her eye.

"At some point, someone in the Bureau figured out that learning hand-to-hand combat was a necessity in the city," he said as he took a few knives out and walked over to a table. Beatrice stayed put. "Wanting to give the so-called good guys an advantage, they also decided that knives were the way to go. Someone spent countless hours researching metal composition, blade lengths, weight distribution. Eventually they came up with this."

Four tossed the knife a few times, alternating between holding the handle and holding the blade. Beatrice was leery of how easy he made it look, like it wasn't a sharp object that he could use to take her life if he so desired. He turned towards one of the blocks that was hanging on the wall, pulled his arm back, and threw. The knife flew through the air, handle over blade, and stuck into the block with a resounding thud. Beatrice's mouth fell open a little before turning up just slightly.

"Would you like to try?" He looked over at her as he picked up another knife; his heart gave an extra beat at the gleam in her eye as she walked over slowly and took the knife he offered her. She watched him throw a few more times before copying his stance and mimicking his arm movements.

Beatrice was nervous; she wiped her hand on her pants before taking one last practice throw. She gripped the handle, took a deep breath, aimed, and let go. She was afraid to look when she heard the thud, but soon realized there was no clatter from it hitting the ground afterwards. She looked at Four quickly before trying to figure out which one was hers.

"That one," he said, walking up to the target. He touched a knife that was close to the center, and he couldn't help but feel elated at the genuine smile that split her face.

"Really?" she asked, and he nodded.

She had wondered what it was that gave her an aptitude for Dauntless. She knew that she liked their freedom from watching them jump on and off the trains at school, but she never thought she might have an aptitude for it because of actual talent. "Again?" he offered, and she took a new knife as he pulled more from the cabinet.

They threw until her arm was sore. She couldn't remember a time when she felt so alive, so carefree. Her life could finally be devoted to something she wanted to do, not something that was expected of her. They pulled the knives from the boards afterward and placed them back where they belonged. Four crossed over to a different cabinet, and she didn't hesitate to follow him.

He opened the first one as Beatrice looked on, her face registering an eager curiosity that quickly faded. Each cabinet's contents became more and more advanced, until she was staring at guns she had seen the Dauntless carry whenever they patrolled the factionless sector. She wasn't sure why, but they made her feel more nervous than the knives. Four could see the discomfort on her face.

"We'll save this for another time."

"No, it's fine," she said. He wasn't convinced.

"Beatrice. It's not a requirement that you know this stuff. We can revisit it later." He closed the cabinets and led her out of the Dauntless room.

She was excited to see what else the compound had in store — what more she could learn about herself as well as the other factions, or if she could begin to figure out what her place in all of this was. They stopped when they reached a set of doors facing across from one another. One had a pair of hands on it, the other had scales.

"Candor and Abnegation," Four said. "Not a lot goes on here these days. The truth serum was perfected ― you can try it if you like, but I don't recommend it ― and Abnegation is, well, Abnegation. There isn't much that's done here except for when laws need revising. They'll update some things in there, though, like new council members or how they interact with the factionless. Rations control, maybe."

He watched her stare at the clasped hands, knowing exactly how she felt. How surreal it was to be an outsider looking in. His father's name was in there, as well as her father's; a small part of him was grateful for that connection. He gave her a few minutes before continuing.

"Now this," he said, gesturing to the few people they were coming upon in the hallway, "Is Erudite." Beatrice looked at the people who were coming and going, most of them dressed in blue. She didn't know if that was meant to be ironic or not. She felt the large eye's gaze on her as the door opened, daring her to come inside and see if she had what it took to be a part of them. She wasn't sure if she really wanted to, however. She remembered her father's vehement hatred for Erudite, and that had to stem from somewhere. Four caught her eye, and offered her a small smile.

"We can't go in there right now because we'd just be in the way, but there's another room where I can show you some things." She nodded and followed him, feeling the eye watch her until they were out of sight.

Four opened a door to a small room ― at least compared to the Dauntless room and what she imagined was inside the Erudite one ― and flipped on the light. The walls were lined with shelves; books and papers covered almost all of them, and there were all sorts of things on the tables that she had never seen anywhere before. He walked to a wall and motioned her over.

"This," he said, pointing to a large, tattered piece of paper, "Is a map of Chicago." She gave him a funny look before turning her attention to it. She wondered if she was supposed to understand what he meant when it suddenly clicked. The marsh they had learned about in school was colored blue instead of green, but she recognized the shape. She traced her fingers down the paper, looking for anything to give her a sense of location. Four motioned to another map, this one with circles and labels.

There it was. Abnegation.

She touched it before tracing a line to the Hub. They seemed so far apart, looking at it this way. She found Dauntless, Candor, Erudite. Even Amity, which was just outside a large red circle she realized must be the wall. There was a second circle around Amity, and even further out was another one. She looked at Four and raised an eyebrow.

"This one is Amity's farmland, what they're allowed to use. Don't worry, they've only used up a small portion of what is available to them. This one here," he said, touching the furthest circle, "Is O'Hare airport. Better known today as the Bureau." Her eyes went wide as she stared at it.

"What is O'Hare airport?" she eventually asked.

Four gave her a small smile. "The best way for you to understand? It's a place that used to be a hub for air travel."

"Air travel?" she said, shocked that such a thing existed. "There used to be air travel?"

"Still is."

Her mind went in a hundred different directions at once. Four could almost see the way her brain was working, trying to process and compartmentalize everything she had learned. Her eyes went back and forth between the maps, trying to visualize the scale of things. He had done the same thing when he first arrived; if he was honest, he still had a hard time wrapping his head around it sometimes. He took a step to the left and pointed to another tattered map, showing her what used to be the United States of America. It was completely foreign and almost unfathomable to her that all of this existed outside her realm of knowledge. She felt insignificant before; there was nowhere near an accurate enough word to describe how she felt at that moment.

"Amity," he said, breaking her concentration, "Is outside." She took another look around before following Four out of the room.

Just as they were passing the screens, a man she recognized ran up to them. "It's Green," Jones said. "I know you're busy with the Stiff here, but he's at it again. Something happened in the Fringe and they're bringing him back. Won't stop upchucking. Briggs is out there alone and Amar was called out earlier today. He's still over an hour away." Four let out a loud sigh. He didn't want to leave Beatrice; he knew how awkward it would have been for him to be left alone so early on. But if one of his guys was losing his lunch over something and another was stranded, he had to do his job.

"Will you be okay for a few hours?" Four asked.

"Yeah," she said, the screens in her peripheral vision. She only just remembered it was Choosing Day, and the ceremony would be starting shortly. Surely they would allow her to check in on her family.

"Hey, Neil," Four called out, and a man sitting in front of a screen turned. "That's Neil. If you can't remember how to get to the cafeteria for lunch, he'll show you, and he won't be a bother." He pointed to Beatrice, and Neil gave a wave and a slight nod. "He can also show you to the dorms if you want to go back there. I'll try to be quick." He gave her a tight smile and a firm nod, and followed Jones back the way he came.

Beatrice stood there for a moment, looking between the screens until she found the one she wanted. She politely inched her way forward and watched as the people began to gather in the auditorium of the Hub, knowing that the Abnegation would be the last to arrive. She felt a tap on her shoulder and turned to see Neil.

"Hello," she said, and he gave her a wide smile.

"Did you want to watch?" Neil asked, tipping his head towards the gathering crowd.

"Yeah. Is that okay, or am I not allowed?" She knew there had to be rules, but she didn't have the first clue what they were.

"You're allowed. But there's still a little while yet before it starts, and I don't think you want to stand here the whole time. Besides, you can't hear anything." He held up a contraption; she recognized that some of the people in front of her were wearing the same thing on their heads.

He walked to an unoccupied table that had its own screens and turned one on. After pressing a few buttons, the Hub auditorium was right there in front of her. "There," he said, motioning for her to sit. "Now you can watch and listen. Headphones," he said, smiling as he held them up. She sat down and watched as he put one end into a tiny hole and placed it on her head: she could hear the murmurs of twenty conversations at once.

"Thank you," she said, unaware of how loudly she was talking. He gave a laugh and a nod, and went back to his seat.

Her eyes scanned the screen until they landed on the first familiar face she saw ― Marcus Eaton. She had forgotten that Abnegation was hosting this year. Soon, Abnegation members began filing in, including Susan and Robert Black who lived across the street from her, James who lived next door, and a familiar dirty blonde mop of hair on a familiar lanky body.

"Caleb," Beatrice whispered. Her eyes instantly welled up as she watched her mother and father give him a quick hug before he took his place amongst the others who were choosing. He looked to his right; her heart ached knowing that he was looking at where she should be standing.

"Quiet down, please," Marcus called out, and the auditorium fell silent. Her hands were sweating as she listened to Marcus's speech, congratulating them on their first step into adulthood. When he called out the first name, she leaned forward, not wanting to miss anyone who she might have known at school.

As each name took her closer to Caleb, her heart rate increased. She wasn't sure why she was so nervous; there wasn't anyone more suited for Abnegation than Caleb. Besides, with her death having just happened yesterday, they would surely let him break initiation for an hour to properly mourn at her funeral. She wondered if she would watch that, too, or if it would be too hard to see them break down and cry over losing her.

"Prior, Caleb." She shook away her thoughts and watched her brother make his way to the stage. He looked confident, more confident than she felt sitting there. He took the knife, cut his hand, and her breath caught in her throat as he held his hand over the bowl of water without hesitation.

"Erudite."

She heard the collective gasp as he turned, a proud look on his face. Word travels fast, even between factions, so the half-hearted claps of acceptance from even his new faction didn't surprise her.

His sister was murdered yesterday in a city that was virtually free of that type of crime, yet here he was today, abandoning his parents and his faction. Her eyes immediately flew to the corner of the screen where they were sitting. She could see her mother's hand over her mouth, her father and a few others whispering words of comfort to her. Beatrice felt broken and useless, but most of all, she felt guilty. Her eyes stung as the tears formed.

She didn't know how her parents would get through it: one of their children was dead, and the other voluntarily left them to grieve on their own. Perhaps Caleb wasn't as selfless as she had always imagined he was. Neil appeared in the corner of her eye, giving her a sympathetic smile as a few other heads turned towards her. She watched as he pressed a few buttons, and her parents took up the full screen.

"Thank you," she whispered. She didn't want to cry in front of these strangers, but she didn't want to leave her parents just yet, either. Her mother's grief was more apparent now as she covered her face, the gentle shake of her shoulders giving away her sobs. Even her father, who never showed his emotions in public, was wiping his face.

She felt the tears on her cheeks before she even realized she was crying. How could Caleb have left them after everything? Even worse, how could she have done this to them? Even with her guilt, her parents weren't the only ones to lose something that day. Deep down, she knew: she no longer had a brother.


	4. Beatrice is Dead

Four always thought the Fringe was a horrible place. It was dirty and run down, and disease was rampant. The families that lived there all coped as best as they could, raising children in an environment that seemed destined to create more of the same. They were all aware that there was nothing better, though. They knew they shouldn't even try to effect change if they wanted to stay alive long enough to raise their children to adulthood. Four tried to push the guilt he felt aside as he made his way through: living factionless was a luxury compared to life in the Fringe. His stomach tightened on cue, as if remembering the nights when he was cold and hungry.

"It's up ahead," Jones said, breaking into his thoughts.

"Are you sure it hasn't been scavenged already?"

"Yeah. Briggs has eyes on it. Saw Green get hit in the leg, too. In true asshole form, he was laughing as he called it in, making fun of the poor fucker for vomiting on himself. What was he supposed to do? Some Fringe bastard shot him."

Jones and Green were great guys, but Four could do without Briggs. The only reason he was still in his position was because he technically had seniority over Four, even though Four was second in command. Amar had promised that Briggs wouldn't interfere in their missions, but that never stopped him from fucking around in some way. Four had always thought it was growing up on the outside that made Briggs callous, but maybe it was just his genes.

"Eyes on the shooter?" Four asked.

"Negative. Based on the trajectory, they were somewhere to the east." Four knew that could mean a number of things.

The streets had cleared as soon as the gunshot had rung out. It was common for the Fringe people to scatter at the first sight of Bureau Patrol: in the past they were taken and subjected to experiments. That's something that won't ever be forgotten, and Four didn't blame them. Now, however, the Bureau was more interested in keeping tabs on them. Watching their movements, keeping an accurate population count, trying to flush out any Divergents. There was always a risk when they brought out surveillance equipment.

"That's my guess," Jones said. Four surveyed the area and kept an eye on a building that Jones pointed out. Over an hour had passed since he came to get Four. While the equipment would fetch quite a bit of money on the black market, Four thought it wasn't worth the risk for the shooter to sit and wait and possibly be found. The Fringe wasn't actually a free-for-all; there were still consequences, especially for shooting someone from Bureau Patrol.

He stepped out into the open and raised his weapon, using the sight to look into the windows ― there were no shadows and no movements. He took one last look at the surrounding buildings. "Cover me," he said, pressing the button on the side of his helmet. He heard Jones raise his gun behind him, and saw Briggs lean out a window to his left. He kept his gun pointed at the most logical place, and crept forward.

"Fifty yards," he heard in his earpiece. He kept his pace, never lowering his gun. "Thirty." His heart rate increased. "Ten."

He would have to lower his weapon to retrieve the package before turning his back on a potential assailant; it was the only part of his job he hated. Amar he trusted with his life; Amar was there for him when no one else was. He could even trust Jones for a few minutes if he had to, but Briggs was another story. He always struck Four as the type that would turn and run to save his own ass. He should have never agreed to send Green out with him. He would have to send out six- or seven-man teams from now on instead of just four. It was clearly getting harder on the people in the Fringe if they were willing to risk attacking three armed soldiers from the Bureau.

"Retrieving package," Four said. He took a deep breath and let his gun rest on his side. He moved slowly, keeping his eyes up as he gripped the handle and lifted. He took a few slow steps backwards before turning and jogging back out of harm's way.

"Either they left or had sense enough to know they were being watched," Jones said when he got back.

"I would take off, wouldn't you?" Four asked. Jones shrugged. "Come on. Let's get this thing set up so I can get back."

They met up with Briggs who took them to the staging point. Four kept his gun up at all times while Briggs and Jones bolted the camera into the ground. While the Fringe people could easily break the camera to steal it, it would be worth a lot less that way.

"You should have seen Green," Briggs said as they walked back to the vehicle. "Surprised he didn't piss his pants, too."

"Would you shut up," Jones said. Four was thankful he did; he wasn't sure he could keep himself in line.

"Oh, piss off, Jonesy. You were the one who gave him the nickname. I can't help it if he lives up to it every chance he gets."

"Yeah? He was a scared kid who had just watched his mother get murdered by a couple of mercs. You'd turn a little green and puke, too."

"Hey ― I ain't no fucking pansy, Jones."

"Enough!" Four's deep voiced reverberated off the buildings. Jones shot Briggs a look, but he just smiled in return. Jones hated that he had taken the bait and gotten into an argument with him.

Four made the two of them ride in the back. His patience was wearing thin ― it always did when he went out to the Fringe ― and he didn't want to see or hear either one of them. He focused on the road ahead and pressed a little harder on the pedal, eager to get back to Beatrice.

He found her, eyes bloodshot, at the screen bank. She was so engrossed in her screen that she didn't even realize he had come up. Four felt a little awkward watching her observe her parents as they went about their lives, but he wasn't in a hurry to leave, either. He felt calmer now that he was in her presence. She rubbed her eyes and jumped when she saw his reflection.

"Sorry," he said when she took off her headphones. Her face was hard, her demeanor completely different than when he had left. He _knew_ it was too soon to leave her alone. His eyes flicked to Neil, who gave him a look that made him a little nervous. "I didn't mean to be gone so long." He had no idea what to do when she didn't respond.

"Did you get lunch? Are you hungry?" Again she stared at him, and he felt like whatever was going on was explicitly his fault. "Okay, then. Dinner is in a couple of hours," he said, checking his watch. "Did you just want to wait?"

She sprang up, catching him off guard as she walked away without a word. "Beatrice," he called, jogging to catch up with her. "I know the Bureau is scary in the beginning, but I won't leave you alone again. Beatrice―"

"Stop calling me that," she spat, turning to face him. "Just stop."

He didn't know what to do. Her eyes were filling with tears, and her jaw was clenched so hard he was afraid she might break her teeth. Her hands were even balled into reddening fists. He considered offering to take her back to Dauntless to let her work out whatever was going on. "Why?" he asked instead.

"Because Beatrice is dead."

She turned on her heel, determined to get away from him. She didn't want to look into his blue eyes. Didn't want to hear his deep voice. Didn't even want to be in his warm presence. She wanted to be completely and utterly alone.

Four stood there, watching her bring a hand to her mouth just before she turned out of sight. Something had to have happened for her to be this upset. He rounded on Neil. "What happened?" His voice was louder than necessary, and Neil recoiled a few inches.

"Nothing. She watched the screens all afternoon."

He wondered if that was it, if she was simply regretting her choice. It was easy to fall into that guilt; he knew it all too well. But Beatrice was strong. Stronger than he was, and stronger than she knew. But her life up until then had been infinitely better than his. The Bureau was a saving grace for him ― for her it might have been the biggest mistake of her life.

"Just her parents?" he asked.

"Afterwards. The Choosing Ceremony was today."

Four's heart dropped. How could he have been so forgetful? "Her brother," he mumbled, and Neil nodded.

"He chose Erudite."

His eyebrows lifted as Neil continued to nod. Her parents not only lost their daughter, but their son chose to leave them, too. Four closed his eyes for a second, trying to figure out how to help her. How to make her realize that in the end they would be okay. He knew what helped him in his moments of self-doubt, but he wasn't sure she was ready for so much just yet. Or if he was ready to share it with anyone else.

His heart was pulling him one way, while his brain was pulling him another. Comfort, or space? In the end, he left her alone.

"Green," Four said as he walked into the infirmary. He flashed his badge and the nurse typed the name into her computer.

A few seconds later she gave him a confused look. "There's nobody here listed under that name."

"Shit, sorry. Anderson." She shot him a look and her mouth puckered as she typed again.

"Room 8. Still listed as in recovery, though."

"Thanks."

He walked down the hall and gave a light knock. When there was no answer, he opened the door slowly to see Green sleeping in the low light. Four didn't have anywhere else to be except with Beatrice, so he snuck in and sat in the chair in the corner.

When Four opened his eyes, the room was brighter than he remembered. He blinked a few times and lifted his head, rubbing his neck and wondering when he fell asleep.

"Morning, sleepyhead." He looked up to see Amar standing next to a smiling Green.

"Fuck the both of you." Green and Amar laughed, but Four was relieved to see the two people he wanted to talk to the most in one spot.

"How's the leg? Gonna amputate?" Amar asked.

"Nah, just a flesh wound. Gonna have one hell of a scar, though."

"Good. Maybe it'll toughen you up." Four snorted at the indignant look Green gave Amar.

"And what's with you?" Amar asked, not missing an opportunity. "Thought you were supposed to be babysitting the Stiff?"

"She wanted some alone time." It was Green's turn to snort. Four shot a glare at him.

"Hey," Green said, raising both of his hands up. "All I'm saying is, I totally understand where she's coming from. You're not exactly the nicest guy here, Four." Amar nodded.

"Double fuck the both of you," Four said, standing. Amar visibly stiffened.

He contemplated going somewhere else altogether, but Beatrice's circumstances stopped him after two steps. "I need to speak with the both of you." Green looked shocked while Amar looked like he knew this was coming. "Beatrice isn't coping well right now. She was on a screen all afternoon while I was away." He gave Green a pointed look. "She was watching her parents when I got back. But first, she watched the Choosing Ceremony."

"Ouch," Amar said. "How'd that turn out?"

"Her brother chose Erudite, if that's any indication."

Amar let out a long whistle while Green looked between the two of them. He knew how the faction system worked, he just didn't understand why it was such a big deal. People left their families all the time ― voluntarily or otherwise ― out in the Fringe. At least in the city you knew your loved ones were safe.

"What… what helped you acclimate?" Four posed the question to the both of them, even though Green's answer was the one he was most interested in: he was the closest to Beatrice's age when he came to the Bureau. Amar rubbed his chin for a moment while Green motioned for the bag sitting on the floor that contained his things. Four handed it to him as Amar began to speak.

"I guess for me, it was that I knew my family was safe. They weren't in danger anymore once I was pulled out. It was always in the back of my mind that they could be considered traitors if I was found out, even though they didn't know."

Four had never thought of that. He knew that the hunt for Divergents was reaching a level never seen before in previous years, but he never thought about the consequences for others. He knew Beatrice would be devastated if anything were to happen to her family because of something she had no control over.

"This helped me," Green said, handing over his badge. Four looked at him, and he motioned for him to turn it over. There was a picture inside the sleeve of a woman who looked like she was sleeping.

"I know it's kinda morbid, but I didn't have anything to remember her by. I asked the doctor if he would take a picture for me. They must have makeup or something in there because she had a black eye when we came in, but she doesn't have it here."

It didn't quite register to Four at first. But then he noticed the background was silver, and her hair was splayed out behind her. It was a picture of his mother after she died. He looked up, having a newfound respect for Green. He was barely seventeen when they found him two years ago. Their suspicions were wrong, but the Bureau allowed him to stay. It might not take much to make him vomit, but Green was braver than they gave him credit for being.

"She always dreamed of a better life for me," Green continued. "We were trying to save up to get into one of the cities. They aren't much better, but at least there are opportunities there that we would never have had out in the Fringe. Anyway, someone must have found out about the money…" His face fell a little, and Four didn't need him to continue. He knew his mom had been murdered. Green was hovering over her body when they found him.

"Thanks," Four muttered, handing Green back his badge. He looked at it for a moment before placing it back in the bag.

"You know, there's something else. Something the two of you have in common that might make her feel better," Amar said as they exited the room together.

"She's not ready."

"She's not, or you're not?" Four glanced at Amar who only raised his eyebrows at him. He didn't answer. "Stop being such a Stiff, Tobias. Get over your own insecurities and help her out."

Amar left him standing in the hallway, fingernails digging into the flesh of his palms. He knew Amar used his name to get a rise out of him, but he also knew Amar would never do it unless he was trying to prove a point. Four didn't want to be Tobias any more than she wanted to be Beatrice. Those people were gone and their lives would eventually be forgotten. He let out an audible sigh and headed back to the screen bank.

Neil handed him a tablet and the passwords he would need. It wasn't part of his job, but Neil understood what Four was trying to do, and offered to bring her some dinner.

"Thank you," Four said.

Neil waved his hand. "You don't need to thank me. I think it's a great idea. Just don't stay up all night." He gave Four a hard pat on the shoulder and headed towards the cafeteria. Four watched him go for a second before turning back and entering the queries for Prior and Abnegation.

It was well after midnight when he blinked, eyes burning from the strain, and looked around. The lights were turned down low to conserve power, and most of the staff were asleep. Nothing much happened during the night in the city, and only a few people were required to work the night shift in the screen bank. A few janitors spent their shifts cleaning areas that were too difficult to maneuver during the day, but otherwise the Bureau was deserted. He watched the last file complete its download and unplugged the tablet, stretching and yawning before shutting his screen down.

Her door was cracked open. Four hesitated, listening for any sounds that would indicate sleep. It was silent except for the air circulating through the vents and the beating of his own heart. He knocked softly; no response. He took a deep breath and gently pushed on the door. She stirred and he froze, expecting her to yell at him, to tell him to leave. But she let out a soft sigh, and he smiled. She looked peaceful. Happy, even. Perhaps she was dreaming about a good memory.

He crept further in and placed the tablet on her desk, along with a slip of paper. Four wished he could do more, that he knew exactly what to do to make her feel better, but he shook his head and told himself that she would appreciate it. It was the only thing he knew to try. He watched her for just a moment longer, smiling again when one side of her mouth turned up, and slipped out the door.

As he crawled into his own bed, he hoped his dreams would be half as good as hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to say thank you for the faves and follows. You guys are amazing! Also, it was a personal goal of mine to try and write longer chapters for this story, to give you guys more content and to (hopefully) make waiting for new chapters more bearable, and I think I achieved that because this is the shortest chapter. I hope you enjoyed it, and I'll see you all on Friday. :D


	5. Planting the Seeds

Four stretched, blinking his eyes a few times and taking in his surroundings. Being in the interior of the building meant he couldn't get any sense of what time it was ― his least favorite part of staying in the dorms. He rolled over, checking the time on his watch: 6:48. It was the latest he'd slept in a long time.

He slipped a shirt on and ran a hand through his hair before opening his door. He expected Beatrice to still be asleep, or at the very least avoiding him. Instead, she was sitting in the hallway, directly across from his door. Her arms were wrapped tightly around the tablet, which was pressed to her chest.

"Hi," he said.

"Morning."

Four stood there, unsure of what to do. She wasn't crying or yelling at him. She didn't even look upset. He took it as a good sign. When she stood, he noticed she had his note in her hand, too. "Thank you," she whispered. He nodded as her hand gripped the piece of paper tighter. He felt like she was squeezing his heart.

"No problem."

Her eyes flicked back and forth, looking between her room and him. He thought for a brief second that it might be an invitation until his senses came back. Beatrice was just being polite and didn't know how to excuse herself without feeling out of place. He took it upon himself and walked away, leaving her standing there alone.

She wanted to say so much more than thank you. The words almost came out as she watched the muscles in his back tense slightly as he walked down the hall. He deserved to at least know that she appreciated the gift and understood what the gesture meant. _It will be okay_. Her fingertip ghosted over the note. She hoped he was right.

She curled up in the corner of a couch, and swiped on the tablet. _Beatrice,_ it said, underneath a little folder. She tapped it, just as she did in the early morning when she woke from a nightmare to find it sitting on her desk. She felt the press in her chest and the sting in her eyes as her mother, father, and brother appeared in front of her.

She took her time studying, examining, and memorizing every last feature of their faces. She recalled the moments when she was present in the photos, too ― sorting food for the factionless with her mother, walking with her brother to the bus stop, listening to her father speak in front of a crowd ― and let her emotions take over.

Beatrice cried harder when she came across the photo of her mother laughing. She was both surprised and not surprised that a camera had managed to catch it. She loved how her mother would laugh despite the looks she received from the other Abnegation and how she always seemed so young and carefree. The memory made her smile. She felt like a jerk for acting the way she did the previous night, knowing Four must have spent a lot of time putting this together for her.

She wiped her eyes to get a clearer view of the last picture. The four of them were smiling as they walked down their street. They were probably on their way to church. She never thought about the lack of photographs in Abnegation, but after seeing them all together, she thought it was the worst rule they had. How were they supposed to remember their loved ones when they were gone? How were they remembering her?

She sighed and stood. Beatrice gave the tablet one last hug before putting it back in her room and taking a long, hot shower. As she came out, Four was returning. Her breath hitched in her throat for just a moment. This was the second time she had seen him like this ― sweaty and out of breath, his muscles firm and taut ― but it still caught her off guard. He gave her a nod as he passed her in the doorway and headed towards the shower. She blushed when she realized they only just missed each other, and that the bathrooms were not separated by gender like they were in Abnegation.

Beatrice combed her hair, pulling and twisting it into its tight bun. Her fingertips brushed over a black tank top tucked away in the drawer she had left slightly open. Her hand hovered as she tried to gain the courage to put it on; it would show far more skin than she had ever dreamed of showing. She let out a loud breath and pushed the drawer closed, keeping her baggy blue shirt on instead. She sat on her bed, waiting until Four appeared in her doorway.

"Ready?" She nodded, even though she didn't know what the day would bring.

She followed silently as they wove their way through the Bureau. Things were beginning to become familiar; she knew she would at least be able to find her way to the cafeteria and back. She stuck close to Four as the line filled up behind her, listening to the various conversations and greetings being exchanged.

"Four!" Her heart thumped in her chest. The last time someone shouted his name, he left her alone. She watched as a man not much taller than her with a shaved head and dark skin jogged up. They shook hands, and his eyes immediately landed on her.

"Amar, this is Beatrice. Beatrice, Amar." She could hear the strain in Four's voice.

"Pleasure," Amar said, holding out his hand. Her eyes glanced down before flitting over to Four and back to Amar. He lowered his hand when she didn't take it.

"Forgive him. He doesn't always remember the customs." Four said it much harder than she thought necessary.

"It's okay," Beatrice said. Amar gave Four a smile that made her look between the two of them again, before turning his attention back to her and bowing his head. She did the same.

"David sent me to find you," Amar said. Four sighed. "Said it was enough―"

"Time. Yeah, I know." Four's face somehow hardened even more. "We'll be there after breakfast." Amar gave Beatrice one last look before leaving. She felt like he had criticized her even in that short amount of time.

They ate in silence. Beatrice watched people around the cafeteria as she had in line, but found herself looking at Four more and more. The way his jaw clenched when he chewed. The way his forearm flexed as he held his spoon. Even the way she could hear him breathe sometimes over the din of the cafeteria. She felt her neck get hot, and kept her head down for the remainder of breakfast.

Four led her to an area she had never been to before. Things felt different as she continued down the halls, more formal. Beatrice was reminded of the Council meeting she sat in on when they were learning about government in school. Four knocked on a door and gave her a small smile just before it opened. "Ahh. Come in, come in." Four stepped in, and she followed.

The office was plain, even compared to Abnegation standards. She felt uncomfortable, out of place even, as the man who answered the door stared at her. She guessed that he was David, and that he was the one who was in charge. What it meant beyond that, she didn't know. His eyes were wide-set and the same shade of brown that she could still see in his graying hair. She assumed he was somewhere between old enough to be her father and old enough to be her grandfather, yet he didn't look at her like either one. He looked at her the way a starving dog looked at food. Perhaps that was why she felt so uncomfortable.

David knew the instant he saw Beatrice take her test that he would have a hard time separating her from Natalie. Her standing there in front of him didn't help; she was small and unassuming, with the same wide eyes full of curiosity, only in gray instead of green. David looked her over, troubled that he had let his feelings for Natalie deter him from someone with great potential, even if only for a moment. If Beatrice had even half the drive her mother had, she would be an asset no matter what.

"I'm sorry. Where are my manners? My name is David Saunders, and I am in charge here at the Bureau. I was the one who decided to pull you out of the city." Four stiffened at David's words. "There is a lot to explain to you, unless Four here has done that already?" He looked over at Four, who gave him a small nod. "Very well, then. Before we get started, we need to run a few tests. Find out where we stand."

Beatrice's mouth went dry. She looked at Four; the look on his face made her nervous. "Four?"

Her voice wavered, and his head immediately snapped to her. "It's okay," he said softly.

She wasn't sure why, but she wanted Four to be there every step of the way. She already felt as though she could trust him and that he wouldn't let anything happen to her. David smiled again. Beatrice knew she could probably say no, but she would have to do whatever he asked of her eventually. It was better to just get it over with. She looked at David and nodded.

Four led the way while David hung back and talked with her, Zoe catching up with them as they walked down the hallways. The two of them said so many things she knew nothing about that Beatrice felt like they had to be making things up. She didn't say anything to them, though; she didn't feel like hearing answers that would contain more words she didn't understand. She simply nodded along to everything.

"And these are the airplanes," he said as they passed a large window.

She stopped, only just realizing they had said the words _air travel_. Her jaw dropped a bit as she took in the sheer size of them. "These fly?" she asked, a small smirk on her face. Four had his back to them, but he still smiled. He could hear the excitement in her voice.

"They do," David said. "And after your tests, Four can explain how they work to you and maybe Zoe can arrange for a trip up."

Her face broke into a huge grin. Four looked over his shoulder, unable to contain his curiosity. She looked as happy as he had imagined. David and Zoe continued to talk, but Beatrice wasn't listening. Her mind was stuck on the airplanes.

"And here we are," David said as they stopped walking. "You'll be in good hands with Matthew here. I'll leave you to it, Four." He nodded at the both of them before taking a tablet from Zoe and retreating back the way they came. Beatrice tilted her head up. She caught the hardness in Four's eyes; they softened when he glanced at her. He knocked hard on the door.

"Jesus, Four," a tall, lanky man with dark hair said when the door flew open. "I know you're security, but do you _have_ to knock like you're coming to arrest me?" He had a teasing grin on his face, and Four visibly relaxed in his presence.

"Hilarious. Matthew, this is Beatrice Prior, our new extraction."

Matthew gazed at her intently as he stepped aside. "Well, don't just stand out there. Please, come in." His voice was higher-pitched than she expected, and he seemed to have a permanent smile on his face. He was friendly and real, she decided. She liked him.

"Thank you," she said, stepping inside. It was a small office, made even smaller by shelves upon shelves crammed with books. All medical, from what she could tell.

"I know what you're thinking." She turned to see him looking at her. "And you're right. I tested for Erudite." She didn't know what to make of a statement like that, so she nodded. It wasn't surprising, at least. "My other office is in the research labs, but we don't have to go there just yet. Save you from the frenzy that occurs daily down there. We start with a blood draw first anyways, and I can do that here. Are you okay with that?" She definitely liked him. He didn't demand things, he asked. Beatrice nodded and he motioned for her to sit in the chair in front of his desk.

Matthew wiped his hands and the crook of her arm with a strong-smelling antiseptic before pulling on a pair of gloves. He pulled a syringe and a few vials from a case before prepping her arm. It was painless and over in a few minutes. "Should have the results in a few hours. Stop back by around lunch?" Four nodded, and they shook hands again before they left.

"Matthew seems nice." Beatrice slowed her pace as they passed the airplanes again. Four was terrified of them; he thought about how he would make himself scarce when she decided to go up. He paused so she could stare.

"He is. One of the few people I respect around here." Beatrice looked at him for a moment. She had so many questions now, but she didn't know where to start. She also worried that he might not answer them. Four seemed like the type of person who didn't waste words.

Instead, they walked. He wanted to hole up in the dorms with her. Talk about the city and everything he missed and didn't miss. Ask what it was like for her, and maybe even take her back to the storerooms and show her some of the things he'd found in there over the years. Things that didn't mean anything, but which were still a link to their respective pasts. But he turned right instead of left and headed back through the research wing, past the screen bank and out into the warm summer air.

It was a nice day, typically hot for August. The greenhouses would be crowded, but he felt like losing himself for a little while. He hoped she did, too. "Amity," he said as they approached the large glass domes. She craned her neck as they got closer. They were much larger than the ones in the real Amity, yet there were fewer of them. She was curious as to how many people there were to feed in the Bureau.

Hot, damp air assaulted them when Four opened the door. Beatrice took a deep breath, inhaling the smell of greenery and dirt and the sweetness of apples. It was her favorite part of visiting Amity, when the Abnegation would help with the harvests. A grove of fruit trees loomed large down the center of the dome, but the workers were busying themselves in the dirt around the edges.

Four surveyed the plots before heading over to the least crowded one. He handed her a pair of gloves from a basket and they knelt next to each other, digging into the soft soil. "Now _that's_ a carrot," a woman next to her said as she pulled a large one out of the ground. Beatrice smiled at the irony; she didn't even get to pick something new to her.

They were silent as they worked. It felt a lot like Abnegation, helping out wherever they were needed. She enjoyed it, though. She felt connected to the city, to everything she once knew. Four looked content, too, and she wondered if he felt the same way. She imagined that someone who worked security didn't normally do this sort of thing. She had no idea how much time had passed when Four checked his watch and motioned for her to follow him. Her arms and back were sore, but it was welcome. She felt like she had accomplished something.

They dusted off their clothes and washed their hands at one of the large basins outside. Four dipped his head in the stream, reveling in the cool water. He liked getting lost for a while in the greenhouses, but they were stifling sometimes.

Beatrice watched as he hung his head, letting the excess water drip off before running his hands over his face and through his hair. She had never cared about or noticed things like that before on a boy, but the harder she tried to ignore him, the more she found herself staring. She splashed her own face with water just to distract herself.

Four knocked more gently than before, and Matthew greeted them with the same wide smile. "I picked up some sandwiches. Thought we could eat while we discussed what I found." Four took the chair closest to the door, leaving her to sit further inside the room. He stared at the door for a moment and wondered if he should lock it.

"It's a lot to wrap your head around, I know, but bear with me. Do you know what it means to be Divergent?" Matthew took a bite of his sandwich as he stared at Beatrice.

"I'm beginning to think I don't," she answered. "I just know what I was told, and that it's dangerous."

"Wrong," Matthew said. He swallowed his bite. "That's just what they were told to think." Beatrice lifted her eyebrows. "Super quick summary time. I'm sure Four can fill in any gaps and answer any questions you think of, but centuries ago, the people who inhabited this country started messing around with people's DNA. They wanted to remove the undesirable genes ― the ones that made people have a tendency towards cowardice, dishonesty, sub-par intelligence, cruelty and selfishness ― to make society peaceful and full of nothing but nice, happy people. Sounds familiar, right?" She nodded when she began to understand that their desire to extinguish the negative traits must have given them the idea for the faction system, or maybe how it came into being. "At first, it seemed to work, so more and more people volunteered to be a part of it. Then, for whatever reason, it backfired, and the people became exactly what they were trying to eradicate. It exacerbated the negative qualities instead of eliminating them."

Beatrice's eyes were wide as she sat completely still. It was odd to hear about the past, about the people who came before them. About those that destroyed everything. She didn't dare eat for fear of missing a single word. Her stomach was too busy flopping around to be of any use anyway.

"Those that didn't alter their genes became known as the genetically pure, while those that did became the genetically damaged. The Purity War ensued. The same war they teach you about in school, except they leave off the Purity part. Cities were obliterated. Millions of people died. Eventually, their numbers dwindled and the war died out, but the damage was done. Theoretically, the genes should have corrected themselves at a faster rate over the years because this wasn't evolution or a mutation, but they didn't, and the scientists back then couldn't figure out why. That's where you come in."

Beatrice looked at Four; his face was hard to read. It was common knowledge that there was a war and she even saw the evidence when Four drove her to the Bureau, but the rest seemed so made up she wasn't sure what to believe.

"It took some time, but the first round of scientists that came together after everything settled down decided that the only way to fix their mistakes was to alter everyone's genes _again_. They put a genetic marker in those that volunteered to be fixed, one that would show up when the genes started healing themselves. The name they gave to those that are healed?"

"Divergent," she whispered. Her heart was pounding so hard she was certain it would burst through her chest. She looked at Four again. This time he nodded.

Matthew typed on his computer and turned the screen so they could see. "There," he pointed, but Beatrice had no idea what she was supposed to look at. Four leaned forward, too. He had to see for himself.

"I'm not sure…" she trailed off. She didn't even know what she wasn't sure of. Everything? Nothing?

"See these three lines here?" She nodded. "Watch." He tapped on his keyboard. The lines got closer and closer until she could see letters and numbers begin to appear.

"GP-273," Four said. He looked at Matthew, who was grinning.

"It's the marker," he said. "Beatrice, you're what we've been hoping for."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know a lot of people hated the gene aspect of Allegiant, but bear with me here. It has its place in this story, but it's not the primary focus of it, so don't bail on me just yet!
> 
> As always, thank you for your thoughtful reviews. I love seeing everyone's theories and watching you guys try to piece things together. Totally makes my day!


	6. Fire From the Sky

Beatrice sat in stunned silence. It was so much information to take in, and her mind felt like it was in complete overdrive. She opened her mouth a few times, but the only thing that came out was " _Me_?"

Matthew nodded his head. Her world was being thrown into a blender and all he could do was take her blood, tell her a story, and show her some pictures. He expected her to just be okay with everything.

She wasn't okay.

"Which factions?" Matthew asked. She stared at him like he was speaking a language she didn't understand.

"Abnegation, Erudite and Dauntless," Four answered.

Matthew looked impressed. "Three? Amazing. No wonder they pulled you out. As far as I'm concerned, you're one hundred percent healed, Beatrice. When you're ready, we'll run more tests, see if we can find out anything else. Hopefully we can use the information gathered to help speed up the healing process or find a way to fix those that aren't healed. But I'm not going to push you, okay? We'll do everything at your pace."

She nodded. All Beatrice could comprehend was that she wasn't going to be pressured into doing anything she didn't want to do. Even if she wanted to continue, she wasn't sure her mind could handle anything else at that moment.

Matthew offered her a sandwich again. She waved her hand and stood. The small office felt even smaller than before and she needed to get out. Four was up and right next to her in an instant. He felt responsible for everything: if it wasn't for his insistence, she would be home right now. He knew he shouldn't feel that way, because if he hadn't insisted and something happened to her… He shook his head and opened the door. Matthew flashed them both a smile and Beatrice rushed out of the office. The air was cooler in the hallway and she inhaled deeply. The click of the door closing caught her attention.

She turned to see Four standing there. He looked like he was breathing hard, too, and she wondered why he even cared. He was escorting her all over the compound and telling her everything was going to be okay, but he wasn't the one they'd been waiting years for. He wasn't going to have test after test performed on him and he wasn't going to be the disappointment when they discovered they were wrong. Beatrice turned and walked as fast as she could. She didn't know or care where she was going, she just knew she wanted to get away.

Her jaw clenched as she walked faster, Four on her heels. She could hear his heavy footsteps on the hard tile behind her; it irritated her every last nerve, and she wondered if there was anyplace she could go where he couldn't follow.

Beatrice didn't even remember turning down the hallway, but the flames in front of her seemed to roar to life. She could imagine their heat, and as she pushed the door open she almost wished they were real. They might burn her, but at least she would feel a different kind of pain. The door slammed against the wall, echoing loudly in the large room. She stalked across it and flung a cabinet open, the gleam of polished metal more enticing than she imagined.

"Beatrice," he called from behind her. She ignored him as she pulled knife after knife out and laid them on the table. Anger and adrenaline combined, making her breathing erratic; it felt as if Four were right next to her even though he was halfway across the room. She fought the urge to turn and face him by picking up a knife.

He stood still, watching her turn it over and over in her hands. She needed to let everything out ― needed to scream or cry or hit — and he wasn't going to stop her. He just had to be there to pick up the pieces when it all fell apart.

She faced the target, and let out a yell as her arm thrust forward; the knife buried itself with a loud crack. She did it again and again, feeling the sting in her eyes and the pain in her arm. "Why?" she screamed out, her throat burning as her voice cracked. Four felt her pain resonate deep inside of him. He hated this part and the feelings that came with it. He took a step towards her, his desire to comfort finally winning out.

"Stop." Her voice was small, defeated. Her arms hung limply at her sides, the last knife clanging to the ground as it slipped through her fingers.

"Beatrice―"

" _Stop_ calling me that."

"Then what should I call you? _Stiff_?" His words felt like a slap to them both. He knew it was a low blow as soon as it left his lips.

She turned to face him, her eyes dark and narrowed. "Stiff? Is that what you think of me?" Her words cut right through him. "Tell me, then, how I'm supposed to act! Should I run around like a lunatic to get in touch with my Dauntless side? Or maybe I should just walk into Erudite and solve this mystery myself since your scientists can't seem to do it. You took me from the only home I have ever known and now you expect me to just accept everything you say. It's not that easy, _Four_."

He visibly winced. He had never heard his name uttered that way before, like it was a weapon. If she saw, she didn't care. She reached up and pulled the pins from her bun, throwing them on the ground and tearing at it so it would unravel. She looked wild with her hair flowing all around her.

"Just because some stupid test says I'm special, it doesn't mean I am! I have no idea what I'm doing, or what I'm supposed to be doing, or what everyone expects of me. Do you even know what that's like? To have someone tell you this crazy story and then expect you to just understand and go along with it?"

"Yes."

She was caught off-guard by how quiet his voice was. His eyes were focused on the floor in front of her as he shifted from one foot to the other. Her anger slowly dissipated as realization took over. She took a deep breath and ran her hands through her hair. "You're not from here, are you?" She bit her lip when he finally looked up at her. If she weren't scrutinizing his every move right now, she would have missed the subtle shake of his head. He couldn't stop himself from watching her mouth as she slowly released her lip. "And Four isn't your name, either, is it?"

People came and went all the time at the Bureau. Only a few people knew his real name, and they all knew better than to refer to him as anything other than Four. He wanted to let her in, let her know that she wasn't as alone as she thought she was, but he was afraid to be connected to that life again. Tobias Eaton was dead, and he should stay that way.

He hesitated for a moment, then slowly shook his head again. "A lot of people have nicknames here. Some even change them just to forget or escape." He swallowed hard, and his gaze fell away as he waited for her response.

It was obvious to Beatrice that it must have taken a lot for him to reveal that to her, and that she needed to be just as honest with him. "I don't want to be her anymore," she whispered. "How can I be, when everything has changed?"

She was worn down, he knew, but he walked to a cabinet anyway. He pulled out two sets of gloves and looked over at her. There were tears in her eyes, but she walked to him and took a pair. Four showed her the proper way to put them on, and then they stood before the bags to work through their pain in silence.

He was drenched in sweat, his muscles burning with fatigue. He checked his watch; they had been in there for hours. It was almost dinnertime ― his stomach rumbled as soon as he had the thought. He watched her for a moment. Her form had improved, but she lacked the muscle or training to be effective at anything more than wearing herself out.

"You're weak," he said. She shot him a look as he walked towards her. "But if you keep tension here, you'll build up your core muscles and the strength will come." His glove hovered just over her stomach. He could feel her warm breath on his arm and it sent a jolt through his body. He saw her nod out of the corner of his eye.

Beatrice followed him without a word as he removed his gloves and put them away, weaving their way through the compound toward the dorms. She was desperate for a shower; they rounded the corner and she paused as he went straight into the bathroom. She debated just changing her clothes, but her hair was clinging to her face and neck and she could feel the sweat running down her back. She took a deep breath to gather her courage and walked in.

He was already in the water, and she could feel the steam as she passed his stall. She went to the very last one, undressed quickly, and stepped into the spray.

Beatrice let herself relax as the hot water ran down her body. In Abnegation, they were only allowed five minute tepid showers in the name of conservation. She hated the very memory of it. She always felt like she was never as selfless as the others, that she could never truly belong to them, and in that moment, she didn't miss it. She took her time, enjoying the heat as it worked on her muscles, running her hands through her hair as she washed the day away.

She peered out of her stall: Four was nowhere in sight and his stall was empty. She hadn't bothered to grab a towel or a change of clothes, and sighed as she reached for her dirty ones. She was surprised to find a towel and a neat pile of clean clothes next to them. She blushed knowing that he had been mere feet from her, even though the stalls were hard to see through.

She emerged, feeling both drained and refreshed at the same time. Four gave her a small smile from the table where he sat. "Dinner?"

She nodded. "Just let me brush my hair. And thank you." She turned quickly so he wouldn't see her flush.

She was twisting her hair when she remembered throwing her pins on the ground in Dauntless. She loosened her grip and felt it unravel. She had never worn her hair down before today. She hadn't even thought about how liberating it had felt to take it down earlier.

Crossing the hallway, Beatrice stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom. She had tried to avoid it even when she brushed her teeth, but there was no point in continuing: she wasn't Abnegation anymore. She took in her appearance as she ran her fingers through the long strands, arranging them in a way she liked. Her face looked different, but she couldn't quite place how. She thought it might be because the person staring back at her, and the person she felt like, were two different people.

Four stared when she came back out. He didn't know exactly how he felt about her ― if it was deep respect or if it was something more ― but as she stood there looking uncomfortable in her own skin, his mouth said the words before he fully processed what they actually meant. "You look good." His expression relaxed when her mouth turned up just slightly.

They sat by themselves in the cafeteria, eating ravenously in silence. Beatrice couldn't remember the last time she was so famished. For a brief second she thought of her mother and the factionless: she would be so disappointed to see her acting like a glutton. But she wasn't there anymore. In an act of defiance nobody would even see, she stuffed her mouth full of mashed potatoes.

A tray dropped onto the table next to Four. Her eyes snapped up to see the same man from earlier that morning. "Got room for one more?" Four rolled his eyes, gesturing to the seat next to him. Beatrice felt the man's eyes on her as he sat.

"Green's discharged," Amar said. "Doc told him to take a couple days to rest before coming back. He'll go sit at one of the checkpoints until he's fully cleared." Four nodded. He didn't feel like discussing anything, but if he knew Amar, this wasn't just a stop to keep him informed about what's happening around the compound. He noticed Beatrice had stopped eating. He thought about excusing themselves to stave off whatever Amar was trying to do.

"So, Beatrice," Four's eyes focused sharply on his best friend. "How are things going? Are you acclimating?" She looked at Amar, but didn't answer. She only knew that he and Four worked together, but aside from that tenuous connection, she felt she didn't owe him an answer or an explanation for anything.

Four misread her discomfort. "She doesn't want you to call her that." Four's voice was low, a firmness in it Beatrice had never heard before.

"Beatrice? It's your name, isn't it?" Again, she sat there in silence. Four glanced her way, but he couldn't define the look on her face. "Did you tell her she could just pick a new one? I mean, without a name everyone will just start calling you Stiff―"

Four slammed his hand down on the table, demanding the attention of Amar and everyone around them. "That's enough," he growled out, his own guilt from calling her that earlier flooding his system.

"Okay... Christ! No need to get pissy."

"Why are you talking about me like I'm not even here?" Beatrice's voice cut through the murmurs that had started around them. "And why do you use that word? _Stiff_. Did you think of it all by yourself here, or did you take it from the city?"

Four could tell that things were still getting to her. They may have spent hours working out their anger in Dauntless, but it wouldn't take much to set her off until she finally came to terms with everything.

Her eyes flicked between the two of them. Neither one answered her. "Yeah, I'm Abnegation. I'm a Stiff," she continued. Her chair scraped against the tile when she stood. "So what? You act like it's so horrible to put others before yourself. Maybe you should try it out for once and think before you speak." The tables around them were silent as she walked away, slamming her hands into the door. They whistled and laughed as soon as she was out of sight.

"I don't know what you're trying to pull, but it stops now." Four held his gaze. Amar's pushing wasn't always a bad thing, but there was a time and a place and this wasn't it.

"Four, I―"

"I mean it." Four stood, looking down at the one person he expected to show some restraint. Amar conceded with a nod.

He sighed as Four turned, stalking after the girl. Four was never any good at expressing anything other than his anger, and Amar didn't blame him for that: fucked up childhoods tended to do that to a person. But he knew that long nights spent comforting and coddling ― the same thing he was doing with Beatrice ― would form a bond that was hard to break. It was probably the only reason they were best friends now.

Amar thought he was going to have to force him to open up to Beatrice, to be there in the way she needed him to be. But maybe coming from the same background they had more in common than he had given them credit for. They would find their way, he decided, and he would try to keep his nose out of it.

When Four found her in their common room, she was sitting at the end of a couch, knees pulled up to her chest, staring off at nothing. He hovered, torn between giving her space and making sure he was available if she needed him. "Sit." She looked up at him and gave him a small smile. "I think we have a lot to talk about." He respected her calm approach and sat at the other end.

"They copied it," he said.

"What?"

"Stiff. They copy a lot of things. Think it'll increase their chances of finding a way to fix this if they can think and act like the people in the city."

"That's ridiculous," she scoffed. "Besides, they don't think or act like any of us."

Four knew she was right. They could never understand, never would. They didn't have the burden of having imperfect genes. In their own eyes, they were infallible: it was their biggest mistake.

"Bea―" he stopped himself, and she gave him another small smile.

"It's okay."

"No, it's not. I understand. I wanted a change, too."

She looked into his eyes. There was something there, that same familiar feeling that she couldn't quite place. She felt like she had known those eyes her entire life, like she could trust them implicitly. She shook her head; it was impossible. They had only met three days ago.

"Bea?" he offered up. She scrunched her nose and he let out a soft laugh. "It was just a suggestion."

"I'm not an elder," she countered. "That name isn't…"

"Fierce enough?"

Their eyes met again. She wasn't sure how to take what he said. He was being polite, she knew. But she had never received a compliment like that. He thought she was fierce, strong. She knew she couldn't live up to his expectations, but she didn't want to disappoint him, either. "Maybe," she said. The corner of his mouth lifted. "So, umm, who was she?"

"Who?"

"The girl." She took a deep breath. "Me."

"Oh."

The truth was he didn't know if she had a name. He understood why the Bureau kept bodies, but he didn't like it. He didn't like deceiving people. Sometimes he felt like his whole life was one long deception.

"She came from the outside. The Bureau keeps them in the morgue for instances like yours."

"Did they… I mean, because of me?" She closed her eyes. She wasn't quite sure how to ask if they killed this girl specifically because of her.

"No," he said firmly. "She would have been found dead, or maybe brought here under suspicion and succumbed to an illness. It happens sometimes." She nodded, her eyes opening slowly.

"How long have you been here?"

"Almost eight years." It was odd, saying it out loud. It was almost half of his life. His thoughts came back around to his mother. Almost eight years since she made the worst decision of his life.

"Did they pull you out, too?" She spoke so quietly, he almost didn't hear her.

He stood abruptly. He was nowhere near ready to answer her questions. There was a chance she would hate him when he told her the truth. Or pity him. He wasn't sure how he would handle either reaction. He took a few steps, running his hand through his hair. When he turned to face her, her eyes were closed. She looked peaceful, like she did when she was asleep. She yawned and opened them, blinking a few times.

"Sorry," she said. "I think the day is catching up with me."

"Sleep, then. We can finish in the morning."

She shook her head, but settled into the couch, resting her head on the back cushion. "I'm okay. I'll go to bed in a little while."

Her blinks slowed as he watched her, becoming longer and longer, until they stopped altogether. He had never watched someone fall asleep before, and he knew right then and there that he would do anything to see it happen every night.

He stepped forward, prepared to pick her up and carry her to bed, but the ingrained teachings of Abnegation stopped him. He pulled his spare blanket out instead and covered her.

 

 

* * *

 

 

"Four? Four, wake up."

He stirred and opened his eyes to see Zoe staring down at him. It took him a moment to realize that he had slept all night in the common room with Beatrice. He looked over to see her still sleeping and stood when Zoe motioned for him to follow.

"What is it?" he asked when they were in the hallway.

"I wasn't sure if she would want to watch, but they're preparing for her funeral. Probably begin in another hour or so."

Four's heart dropped into his stomach. He knew the right thing to do was to give her a choice, but he didn't want to see her hurting any more than she already was. "Okay. Thank you." She gave him a smile and excused herself.

"I want to watch," she said as soon as he walked back into the common room. He didn't argue with her.

They stood side by side with the other people who had gathered around the screens. It struck her as odd that they would want to watch her while she watched the people who were mourning her fake death. The majority of the onlookers had tablets and at least one piece of blue on them, and she was struck with the memory of a conversation from the day before: she was already turning into a lab rat.

She ignored them and told herself she was going to be strong, that she wasn't going to cry, but as soon as she saw her parents make their way to her casket she lost that battle. The tears welled up and she swiped her hands over them. She could feel Four's eyes on her, but she kept her head high, determined to get through it.

It was short and quiet, typical for Abnegation. Someone was kind enough to change another screen so it focused solely on her parents. They both kept a strong face, but the pain was evident in their eyes.

The members each gathered a handful of dirt and tossed it into her grave, giving their condolences before leaving and giving her parents a moment alone. They would return to her childhood home afterward and remove all of her belongings, bringing them to the warehouses to be redistributed among the factionless. And with no photos or any personal items to remember her by, she would cease to exist, fading from their memories over time.

She felt a gentle hand on her shoulder and turned to see Matthew. He gave her a nod before turning his attention to the screen. She appreciated the gesture.

Once they were alone, her parents each tossed in a handful of dirt. It was over. She was officially dead and gone. She wiped her eyes again, then inhaled sharply when they settled back onto the screen in front of her.

Her father was kneeling, his body shaking with grief, but not her mother. She was looking directly into the camera. She wasn't upset like Beatrice expected. Her posture was rigid, her eyes narrowed and defiant, and her lips were set into a hard line.

She looked fierce.


	7. That's Not My Name

Her world had already been torn apart once; putting it back together was proving difficult, and staring back into her mother's eyes wasn't helping the situation. She didn't need to look around to know that there were quite a few sets of eyes upon her, but the one set she could feel the most belonged to Four. She turned her head slightly to see him staring at her, eyes wide. She wondered if he was having the same thoughts she was.

Four knew Natalie, remembered how kind she had been when he was younger. He also knew she was instrumental in his and Evelyn's escape from Marcus. Could she know about the Bureau? Was she suspicious that her daughter was still alive?

"I think," Matthew said from beside her, breaking the silence, "This might be a good time for some more tests." Beatrice shot him a glare that sent a shiver up his spine. His eyes lifted to Four's ― the shake of his head was subtle. "Or not." Matthew seemed to hesitate, but gave them both a smile and a nod.

Beatrice was quiet as she walked back to the common room with Four by her side. She didn't know what to think or how to start talking about what she saw. There wassomething there in her mother's eyes, she was sure of it, and she was desperate to talk to her mom in a way Abnegation didn't allow.

"What _was_ that? I mean, I'm not completely crazy, am I?" she asked when they had settled back onto the couch.

Four shook his head. "No." His voice was firm. "And I wish I knew." She hesitated for a moment, afraid to hear the answer to her next question.

"Do… do you think she knows?" Four was almost certain she did. Why else would she look directly into a camera with so much defiance? That was _not_ the Abnegation way. Then again, Natalie never struck Four as being a typical Abnegation.

"I don't think anything's impossible anymore." She bit her lip, and Four cleared his throat. "I know you have a lot of questions."

She snorted. "That's an understatement."

"But maybe Matthew's right. I have some knowledge, and can probably answer every question you have, but I have a feeling he knows more."

What he said made perfect sense, but she wasn't ready. She felt comfortable with Four ― she didn't really want to bring anyone else into the equation. "Okay. Just… later." He nodded. They sat there in silence for a bit while she tried to work through whatever she was thinking.

"What do you do?"

Her question was so vague he simply raised his eyebrows at her. "Like, for work?"

"No. Well, _yes_ , but no. I mean, in Abnegation I had a routine. Wake up. Go to school. Volunteer with the factionless on Saturdays. Church on Sundays. Every other day was mine for dishes and dinner. I… I had stability, a routine. Here, I'm just… I have no idea what I'm doing. Every day is just more uncertainty and I can't… I'm having…" _Trouble_. She had a hard time thinking it, let alone saying it.

"You think a routine would help?" She nodded. He thought it wasn't a bad idea.

"Well, I wake up early and head over to Dauntless. Spend some time in there working out. Eat breakfast, then head to the security room and deal with whatever the day brings." It sounded mundane when he said it out loud. "Lunch and dinner, of course. After work…"

After work he would sometimes head down into the depths of the Bureau, where the 'undesirables' tended to hang out and get lost in their poison of choice. He got lost a few times, too; even considered drowning out the voices in his head with an abundance of alcohol or one of the women who seemed to always find him no matter how hard he tried to hide. But he could never bring himself to do it. While he wasn't a prude per se, at his core he was still a Stiff, and it just felt wrong.

"After work, I sometimes get lost in the compound or I watch the screens." He felt his heart lurch at the small admission.

"Oh." His pulse slowed again when she didn't seem that interested. "Could I join you?" Her voice was entirely too small for the amount of space her presence seemed to take up in the room. "I mean, maybe in the morning we could… be together. And then in the afternoons I'll agree to do whatever tests they want to do." She felt it was a good compromise. She could still have time to do whatever she chose while fulfilling her purpose at the Bureau, whatever that was.

"Sounds like a decent enough plan to me."

The morning already wasted, they agreed to visit Matthew after lunch. Struggling to find something to do, Four and Beatrice walked the compound together, ending up near the research wing. She turned, walking with a mission until she was staring up at the clasped hands. The door was cool when she touched it. She held her hands there for a minute, wondering if she would ever understand how a person could feel so connected to something just by touching it. She took a deep breath, and opened the door.

It was much smaller than Dauntless. There were a few tables and chairs as well as a wall of shelving filled with large, thick books. She heard Four let out a loud breath before moving towards the shelving. He seemed to know exactly where to go when he pulled a book down, setting it on a table and gesturing for her to sit. As she did, he flipped to one of the last pages.

Her eyes grazed the page until she saw it: her father's name.

They stung hot with tears as she put a face to each name she recognized: Jonah Smith; Noah Black; Doreen Warsaw; Marcus Eaton. For a brief second her eyes flitted over to Four. He was rigid, eyes glued to some nondescript spot on the wall. He seemed uncomfortable. She cleared her throat and flipped through some of the pages. This book alone went back almost one hundred years. She turned to look at the others still on the shelves behind her, wondering how far back the records went.

She got up, looking over the titles and pulling a few out — they were mostly records of laws and ordinances. She even found one that depicted an uprising in the city. There were a few pages missing so she had no idea what happened afterward. Peace, she imagined, since things seemed to return to normal in the records.

She stood there, feeling both closer to and further away from her family and her faction than she had ever felt in her life. Feeling like she didn't belong was one thing; actually not belonging was a whole other scenario she had never anticipated.

"Hey." She turned around to see Four leaning against the table. "I think there's something else you might like to see."

They walked in silence, turning down hallways she had never seen before, descending staircases she didn't know existed until it was just the two of them. He motioned to an open area as they passed it. It was lit with colorful lights, and a bright sign that said 'BAR', as well as a handful of tables and chairs placed around a counter covered in different colored bottles. When they didn't stop, she had a feeling that was the place he was referring to when he mentioned getting lost. She had never tried alcohol; that was something the Dauntless did. Eventually, they stopped in front of a set of double doors.

He looked at her for just a second before pushing them open. They were both bathed in a golden light that accentuated her features. His breath caught in his throat, and he swallowed hard. "This is the genealogy room." Her eyes darted around, taking in the whole room as she followed him in. "It goes back generations, listing all of the families and how they're connected. Everyone in the city is in here somewhere."

Beatrice turned slowly, staring at the bronze walls that seemed to glow all on their own. She stepped closer to one, realizing the walls were not solid but actually made up of thousands of small plates, some blank, and some with names engraved on them.

"What's this?" she asked, pointing to one. "It says Brenna Lewis, A-A."

"A-A means she was born into Amity, and she chose Amity."

"Oh."

She wandered further, until she started noticing more and more of the names having an AB underneath them. She searched frantically ― they must be there somewhere.

Andrew Prior, E-AB. She shook her head and read it again. Her eyes had to be deceiving her. Beatrice looked at the plate next to it. Natalie Wright-Prior, F-D-AB. She had no idea what the F meant, but the D both surprised and didn't surprise her. On the outside, her mother was born and bred for Abnegation, but in the privacy of their home she would hold Beatrice close, stroke her hair and plant soft kisses on her cheeks, telling her how much she loved her. The memory of her touch made her eyes prickle with heat.

"My mom was Dauntless," she said, brushing her fingertip over her name. "And my dad was Erudite."

"And you're Abnegation," Four added. All her aptitudes were laid out right in front of her. She took a deep breath and looked at the plates beneath her parents' names: Caleb Prior, AB-E. Beatrice Prior, AB- *. Someone had been there recently.

"What is that?" she asked, pointing to her name.

Four leaned in. "The asterisk is for people who are confirmed Divergent inside of the city." She knew she was different, but she felt an even greater divide manifesting inside of her, seeing everyone else's names and their choices. That part would forever be left blank next to her name.

"I didn't get to choose," she said quietly. "I was so concerned with my brother and my parents I didn't even think about myself." She let out a little laugh. It was probably one of the few times she had put others before herself. For once she was Abnegation.

"You could always choose now," Four offered.

"What, is there a copycat set of bowls here?" She didn't understand what the purpose of that would be. There wasn't any way they would ever be used.

"No," Four said. "But did you really want to cut your hand and bleed all over the place?" She thought about it and shook her head. "There's nothing stopping you from making that choice. You are what you say you are." She looked back at her name. Her choice was already made for her, forever engraved in brass right there next to her name. She was Divergent. She didn't belong anywhere.

"Is your name here?" Her voice was small, curious.

When her eyes found his, they were guarded. They stared at each other for a moment before he turned away. "It's lunchtime." It wasn't a suggestion.

They ate in silence. She wanted to press him further, to find out what his story was, but she was almost afraid to hear the answer. There was a reason he didn't go by his real name, and a reason he kept to himself most of the time.

"Ahh. Come in," Matthew said, opening the door wider for them both.

"I made a deal with Four that if I could have the mornings to do whatever I wanted, then I would agree to do what I needed to do here in the afternoons."

Matthew raised his eyebrows. "Well, alright. David will be pleased to hear about this. Don't worry. I'll start you off easy today."

She was excited to finally see Erudite. To connect to that part of herself, and to her father. The eye loomed larger than ever before her, almost taunting her for her insecurities. They moved aside as someone came out; her eyes were alive with curiosity when she got the briefest glance inside. "Ready?" Matthew asked, and she nodded.

The room felt as large as the cafeteria, with rows and rows of tables, each covered in items. Some she recognized from her science classes in school, while others she had never seen before. Around each table was a swarm of blue-clad workers, talking or arguing or frantically writing.

"Almost everyone here got an Erudite result," Matthew said as they walked.

"So they're all from the city?" Beatrice asked, the thought of all the dead bodies that weren't really these people lingering in the back of her mind.

"No. They just took the test. Everyone's always curious what they would get."

"Wait. You have the equipment here?" She wasn't sure why she was so surprised. Matthew smiled and veered to the right, heading towards a door with the same flames on it as Dauntless.

Inside was a chair identical to the one she sat in just a few days ago. There was more than one type of machine, though― she pointed at the one she didn't recognize. "The aptitude test isn't Dauntless, is it?"

"No, but the simulations are," Matthew answered. Four was silent as he watched her try to wrap her mind around everything.

"Simulations?"

"In Dauntless, part of their initiation involves going through their greatest fears to overcome them. This machine here," Matthew said, tapping it, "Lets you do just that." She looked at Four. "It's like the aptitude test," Matthew continued, "Only this one isn't pre-programmed. It charts your greatest fears and then presents them in a simulation which you must successfully navigate. Or, you must find a way to control your response to it."

Beatrice wasn't sure what her greatest fears were, but she was suddenly glad she didn't choose Dauntless. "And they go through this for _fun_?"

"Well, I wouldn't call it fun. You find a way make it through before everyone else or you wind up factionless." Four's voice was hard. There was something there, and she watched him closely for a second.

"Well, they do it here for fun," Matthew chimed in. "I'm terrified of ladybugs, if either of you were wondering." Beatrice laughed. "What, I'm not kidding!"

She laughed even harder, and even Four chuckled. He liked the sound of her laugh; it was the first time she'd really let go since she arrived. It felt good to be a part of it, and he smiled wider when she glanced at him and wiped a tear from her eye.

"You want to try it?" Matthew asked.

"What, now?" Her voice was noticeably higher-pitched.

"Yeah. I'm curious what you would do in there."

"I'd be afraid, wouldn't I? I mean, what else is there to do?"

"You might be able to manipulate it."

That piqued her curiosity. She looked over at Four who was back to business. She preferred the smile on his face. "I don't know. Maybe later."

"Okay," Matthew said. He pushed past them both, leading them back into the bustling lab.

She listened as he droned on about the different things they did in the lab: developed new seed technology, worked on weapons advancements, plotted out times for agriculture, worked on vaccines, developed and fine-tuned serums and more. It took her a moment to realize everything he was listing was Erudite technology.

"Wait. You guys develop _everything_ here?" Her eyes darted back and forth between the two of them. "I don't understand. I mean, I knew deep down what you were saying, I think, but it just clicked right now. How do you guys get this stuff into Erudite? Is there someone there who knows about the Bureau? Someone you talk to?"

"There used to be. Quite a few people we communicated with, actually. It wasn't an issue with the other factions, but it's different with Erudite. If you have the same person coming up with all of the ideas, well, people tend to get jealous. And suspicious." Matthew fell quiet for a moment. "People even died over it."

" _What_?"

"It was a long time ago, so don't worry. Now we just give them the information in a way that lets them believe they came up with it all on their own."

Beatrice was dumbfounded. "Wait. So what you're telling me is that the people in Erudite aren't really smart? That my brother left my grieving parents because he thought that he could go there and make a difference in the city because your stupid test told him he could?"

"No, Beatrice―" Matthew interrupted.

"Don't Beatrice me! He's not going to do anything worthwhile unless you _choose_ him, is he?"

The people closest to them paused for a moment, waiting to see what would happen. Beatrice shot a few of them a look but focused her hard eyes between Matthew and Four. She felt like she would never understand this place, or why they were doing any of it.

"It's not always like that. Sometimes they come up with something on their own."

"And then you steal it, right?" She crossed her arms and let out a loud breath. "Let's just do whatever it is you want to do so I can get out of here." Matthew nodded and walked quickly towards a door near the back of the room.

It reminded Beatrice of the rooms in the clinic her parents would take her and her brother to when they got sick. She hopped onto the table covered in paper and looked at Matthew expectantly.

"There are a number of tests we can run. X-rays, MRI, running through the simulations―"

"Just pick one." She was past the point of caring.

"Okay. Let's do an MRI then."

She lay down on the table in front of a huge machine. Someone named Paul locked her head into a cage while Four and Matthew waited in a little room off to the side. He gave her a thumbs up and a big smile before pushing her back into the machine. She rolled her eyes.

"Okay," Matthew's voice emanated from somewhere near her head. "It's going to be loud, so just close your eyes and hold completely still until it's done. It'll take just under a half an hour." Beatrice took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

"Don't ever make me do that again," she said when they pulled her out, undoing the cage around her head.

Matthew's lip turned up slightly. "I'll do my best." Four struggled to release his side; she swore she saw a hint of panic on his face that disappeared when he released her and she sat up.

It wasn't much of a secret that he was claustrophobic, but seeing her locked up like that, sensing her discomfort, sent his anxiety into overdrive. He relaxed a little when she gave him a nod and hopped off the table.

"I'll let you know what I find," Matthew said when they exited Erudite. "That's good for today. It'll take me a minute to do some research. And I'll let David know so he doesn't come and hunt you down."

"Thanks," Four said. They shook hands and parted ways.

Beatrice didn't feel like heading back to the dorms, so she turned towards Amity. Four was silent as they grabbed their gloves, found a plot, and began planting with the others.

"Tris," she said after a while, and he looked up at her. "I was doing what I could to distract myself during the MRI, so I thought of a name."

"Tris," he said.

She looked up at him to see a small smile on his face. "I figured it was different enough. And, you know, fierce."

His smile widened. "Yeah, it is."


	8. Finding a Routine

Tris woke to a gentle rapping on her door. She groaned as she slipped out of bed, cracking it open to see Four standing there, dressed to work out. "Oh, right," she said. "Just… give me a second." She changed into something that seemed comfortable and made her way to the bathroom to pull her hair back and brush her teeth.

The compound was still fairly quiet. As they made their way to Dauntless they passed a few people, each nodding their greetings politely. She had been through the halls and to Dauntless before, but this time felt different. She was actively trying to belong.

Four was patient as he went through some of the easier motions for her. They worked hard, sweating and grunting until her body began to ache, and even then she didn't want to stop. She didn't want to disappoint Four or hinder his routine any more than she already had. Halfway through, she remembered his first lesson about keeping tension in her core. She threw a punch, the burn from following his instruction resonating throughout her.

"You shouldn't overdo it," Four said, breathing heavily beside her. "You'll regret pushing yourself so hard tomorrow morning."

"We'll see," she said, a smirk on her face. Four just shook his head.

She remembered to grab a change of clothes this time, which gave Four an opportunity to get in the shower before her. Without looking, he felt her presence pass by behind him. For the second time, he was acutely aware that they were mere feet from each other in the most compromising of positions. He smiled.

"Here, take these," he said when she came out fully dressed. "Vitamin and a couple aspirin, just in case."

"Thank you." She took a sip of water when she went into her room, smiling as she reflected on how thoughtful he was.

"You'll want to grab a little more protein than usual, and probably a banana," he said just before they reached the front of the breakfast line. "Should help you recover a little better."

"That's not gonna be a problem," she replied, grabbing a plate. "I'm starving."

Things felt a little more comfortable between them as they ate; she didn't feel like such an outsider anymore. Nobody looked at her like she was something to be treated with kid gloves, and she liked that. She felt like she might actually be fitting in.

"Oh, Four!" They both turned to see Zoe waving as she walked towards them. "David is working with Amar to pull together a team to go out on an emergency call, and he wanted to know if you were okay with covering some shifts here. He wants to take along a few extra guys so you are able stay with Beatrice."

He stopped himself from correcting her. "Like?"

"Fence post mostly, I think. Amar should have all the details. And Matthew's going with him, so that should give you some more time to adjust." She was looking at Tris with a wide smile on her face.

"Oh. Umm, yeah." Tris wasn't really sure why she was being addressed like she had any choice in the matter.

"Let me go talk with Amar then. I'll get back with you."

"Sure thing! Have a great day." Tris smiled again, but it was more in the hope that Zoe would go be chipper somewhere else.

"Will you be okay for a few?" She nodded. "I'll meet you back at the common room." Tris watched him walk away and sighed; she was enjoying his company more than she thought she should, and she was always aware of how different he was compared to everyone else. The others didn't seem to care about their ignorance of the city and the way she grew up, but Four made sure to respect every last aspect of it.

She wandered for a few minutes before finding herself in front of the screen bank. Her curiosity got the better of her as she sat down and began messing with the screen in front of her.

"Whatcha looking for?" She turned to see Neil smiling behind her.

"Oh. I was just umm… watching."

"It's okay," he said. "You can check up on them."

"Thanks," she mumbled. "I just wanted to see if my brother was okay."

"Erudite, right?" She nodded.

Neil spent a few minutes pressing keys and switching cameras before he found Caleb. Tris thanked him again as he left her alone. She put on a pair of headphones and listened in.

Caleb had his face buried in a book. She had to admit he looked nice in blue, nicer than she thought he would. He was also wearing glasses, which made her raise an eyebrow ― he had perfect vision. She zoomed her screen out to see that everyone was wearing them, and thought it must be some weird Erudite thing. There wasn't much to hear, just the occasional rustle of paper and the quiet murmurs of hushed conversations. She zoomed back in and sat with her chin in her hand, watching.

"So, what's this about David going out?" Four asked when he entered the security room. Amar looked over his shoulder.

"Something's going down in Indianapolis, apparently. They want him to check it out. I'll be with him, so don't worry. Nothing will happen."

"I'm not," Four said, irritated at the insinuation. "Just wondering why I'm being left here."

Amar swiveled in his chair, an eyebrow raised and a smirk on his face. "Really? You don't know?" Four's heart rate increased. "You practically begged David to pull the girl out and now she's your responsibility. You really think she's going to be okay being left alone for a week?"

"A week?" Four didn't realize it was that long of a mission. He had figured it would be a couple of days, like usual.

"I told you. Something's going down." Amar shrugged and turned his attention back to the computer in front of him.

"Fine. Who are you taking?"

"Briggs, Myers, Swift, Green―"

"Green? He just got shot! He's still recovering."

"Yeah, and his driving leg still works. Are you questioning my decision?" Amar's voice was louder, firmer. It was what Four referred to as his 'instructor voice'.

Amar was a great guy ― laid back, joked around, could hold his liquor better than most people ― but when he was serious, he was serious, and you learned the hard way that he was your boss first and your friend second. Four shook his head. "No. Create a schedule and I'll pick up the slack." Amar didn't say anything as he turned and left.

Four tried to not let Amar's mood swing get to him. It was familiar territory, something that didn't make sense to him until a little over a year ago. They were getting drunk after a run to the Fringe when Amar chose to let it slip that he had a crush on him. Four didn't know how to handle the situation ― he'd never had a girlfriend, and had barely had his first kiss thanks to some girl named Nita who pinned him in the corner of the bar and shoved her tongue down his throat ― so he turned and left without a word.

He felt like an asshole afterwards. It couldn't have been easy to admit, especially when that type of love was frowned upon by the Bureau: if it didn't have a chance of creating life with pure genes, it wasn't allowed. Not to mention, they were best friends. He had put their entire friendship in jeopardy to reveal how he felt.

It took him the better part of a day, but he finally found Amar in Dauntless, drunk off his ass, weapons strewn around him. It took some coaxing, but Four was able to get Amar up and into a cold shower, shoving him into bed afterwards, soaking wet, to sleep it off.

Four apologized the next morning, but Amar ignored him for days, only speaking to him when it was required for work. It wasn't until Four practically broke his apartment door down that Amar talked to him. They exchanged a few harsh words ― some that Four will always regret saying ― and even pushed each other a few times. It was when Amar broke down into tears that Four knew what he had to do: he had to be a friend.

They sat side by side on the floor while he listened to Amar talk. When everything was said and done, they ended up exchanging apologies and an awkward hug, laughing about what had happened. "You know," Four had said, "If you stopped hanging out with me so much, maybe you could find someone."

"And miss out on you fumbling around every time a girl tries to talk to you? Not a chance." Four kicked him in the leg.

As he wound his way back to Tris, he wondered if it was that old jealousy coming back. Four knew about Amar and George ― he was the only one that did — and he guarded his friend's secret closely. But he knew from listening to some of the guys talk, and maybe even a little from experience, that it was sometimes hard to let go of those feelings.

Tris wasn't in the dorm room when he arrived. He waited around for a few minutes, getting anxious when she didn't show up. Four let out a loud breath as he walked back out in search of her.

He had missed her sitting at the screen bank when he first passed it. He kept his distance, letting her have whatever time she needed to make peace with whoever she was watching. It was only when Neil caught his eye that Four stepped in; he had that look that said he was worried. Four sat down next to her, but it still took her a minute to realize he was there.

"Oh, hey," she said, a hint of sadness in her voice. "I was just checking up on Caleb."

"It's okay." He knew it was an important part of adjusting to life on the outside. He also knew how easily it could consume a person. "So, there's been a slight change of plans. Matthew is going to be gone for a week, as well as a large chunk of our security team. I'll have to pick up some shifts, but that also means no more tests until he gets back."

"You have to go back to work." He wasn't sure what to make of her statement, or the slight hint of sadness in her voice.

"Yeah. My schedule will be a little weird, I'm sure. But that doesn't mean we can't figure something out. We'll stick to some sort of routine."

The week went more smoothly than he could have imagined. Amar must have swung the other way from his little moment because he only had two nights in the security room and two days out on the fence. That left him three days to do whatever he felt like. He couldn't remember the last time he had that kind of freedom.

They worked out in the mornings and had breakfast together no matter what. He would only take a short nap in the late morning after he worked the night shift, and then they would spend their afternoons hanging out in Amity or Dauntless, two polar opposite factions that had them laughing at times. Tris liked the bond that was forming between them ― she wasn't even this close with her own brother, and the few friends she'd had were more like acquaintances.

She found herself missing his company on the sixth day when he had to pull a day shift out on the fence. With Neil's help, she gathered up two sandwiches and a couple apples and was directed out to his post to spend lunch with him. It was nice to be outside, the compound out of sight.

"Have you ever thought of just walking out there and seeing what happens?" She was staring out the window towards the vast open field that seemed to lead nowhere.

"I used to. Then I got to actually go out there."

She turned to face him. "And?"

"You don't want to go out there, Tris." He didn't elaborate, and she didn't press any further.

Things were easier with Tris than they had ever been with anyone else, even Amar. He was guarded, but he could feel that wall slowly coming down. He was trying to figure out how to tell her the truth about himself ― who he was and how he ended up at the Bureau ― and he knew he'd have to do it sooner rather than later. Time was only going to make things worse. He was in the process of opening and closing his mouth, trying to find the words when there was a loud beep from the intercom.

"Go for Four," he said as he pressed the intercom.

"It's Jones. Just got word from Amar. They're coming back early. Who's on shift after you?"

"Durst. What happened?"

"He didn't elaborate. Just tell Durst to be prepared for their arrival. It doesn't sound good, Four."

"Copy." He didn't like the worry in Jones's voice. He could feel it creeping up inside of him, held at bay only by the fact that Amar was okay.

"Four?"

He turned around to see Tris, a worried look on her face. "It's fine," he reassured her. "Why don't you go ahead and go back in. Meet for dinner at six?" She nodded and left without another word. Four cursed the timing of everything.

Tris was on her way past the screens when the name Prior caught her attention. She slowed down and veered toward them to eavesdrop, fiddling around with the screen in front of her.

"He's caught Jeanine's eye," she heard someone say.

"Then put a screen on him at all times. If she's thinking about grooming anyone to take over for her, then we need to know about it before she does. Make sure you put a memo out to David so he's aware of the situation." There was some more chatter that didn't mean anything to her, but when she looked up at the main screen, it was focused on Caleb.

Her brow furrowed. What were they worried about? If her brother was going to be groomed for Erudite leadership, that was probably a good thing. He grew up in Abnegation ― he would be fair and just, like their father. She sat down and pulled up the main screen in front of her. The others would do the work to follow him; she just had to watch and listen.

At first she didn't see anything out of the ordinary. Her brother was talking to Jeanine Matthews ― she recognized her from the portrait in her faction history class. She was an older woman with sharp features and hair so blonde it was almost white. She wore glasses around her neck, and Tris wondered if they were for show, too. Caleb followed her around like a lapdog. He had a tablet in his hand and he was constantly tapping on it. Most of what Jeanine was saying sounded like gibberish to her, but it seemed to pique Caleb's interest.

They did some work in a lab with another girl that looked to be Caleb's age. Tris eventually learned the girl's name was Cara, and couldn't help but notice the way her brother looked at her when nobody was paying attention. For a moment she wished she could tease him about it, but he was Erudite, and she… well, she was dead. Even if she wanted to try and contact him, he would think it was a cruel joke instead of what it actually was. It was when the trio split off from the group that the chatter seemed to increase around her. She pulled off her headphones to listen.

"She's taking them to her office."

"We don't have access to those cameras. There's a block that prevents us from accessing them."

"We need someone to start working their asses off on this! Why has this not been a priority?" Tris didn't know what to do, so she put the headphones back on and kept to herself.

Erudite was a strange place. Every hallway looked the same to her as she watched her brother shuffle along after Jeanine. Each lab they passed and each door they walked through was identical. Perhaps it was some sort of Erudite logic test: if you could figure out how to get around, you really were one of them. For a second she thought of her aptitudes.

She saw the people around her throw their hands up in frustration when the three of them entered Jeanine's office; they were effectively cut off. Tris sighed and stretched, only now noticing that she had been sitting there for hours. It was close to dinner. She watched the door ― with every intention of leaving to eat ― until it opened back up. Her brother and Cara both had wide smiles on their faces.

The view began switching again, following Caleb down the identical corridors, until he and Cara parted ways with a chaste kiss. She rolled her eyes then looked up to the screen bank, assuming Cara went into her room. Her brother, however, walked back the way he came until he was back inside Jeanine's office and out of sight. She rubbed her eyes and pulled off the headphones.

"Why are they watching your brother?"

She jumped, turning her head to see Four standing beside her. "How long have you been there?"

He looked at his watch. "Ten minutes."

She looked at the time, wondering how thirty minutes had passed so quickly. "Sorry," she muttered. "Let's go eat."

She wasn't in the mood to talk, but was courteous enough to tell Four what she knew ― nothing. He respected her decision to want to keep to herself after dinner, leaving her to curl up on her bed with the pictures of her family. Tris wasn't sure what she was trying to accomplish, but she spent a fair amount of time crying and apologizing to them, even though they couldn't hear her.

She fell asleep at some point, waking with a start from her dream: her brother was now the leader of Erudite, and he was calling for a citywide hunt for Beatrice Prior, the Divergent traitor. Tris was so panicked when she woke that it took her a minute to realize it was just a dream. She wasn't a wanted criminal in the city, but that feeling of dread wouldn't go away. When she couldn't fall back to sleep, she pulled a sweater on and wandered out to the screen bank.

They were focusing on other things instead of her brother, who was most likely in his dorm room fast asleep. Neil worked the day shift, so she kept to herself, not wanting to bother anyone else with questions they probably couldn't answer. She idly watched whatever came across her screen, and was finally starting to get tired when something caught her eye.

She looked up to see Amar and other Bureau Patrol members she didn't recognize coming through the entrance. They looked worn, tired. Then she noticed the blood.

It wasn't on everyone, but those that had it on them seemed to be covered. Someone was being held up by two others, and they rushed off in a direction she hadn't been before. She pulled the headphones off slowly to hear commands being called out by David, who was somewhere amidst the group.

Four came racing out of their hallway, heading straight for Amar. They embraced for a brief second, Four pulling away to inspect him. They were talking, but she couldn't make out anything over the noise. Amar shook his head, and Four ran his hands through his hair, turning away from him.

The look on his face as his eyes met hers sent a shiver up her spine.


	9. Sorry Doesn't Change Dead

Tris stood slowly, Four's eyes on her the entire time. She didn't know whether to go to him, or leave him be. The hard look on his face broke for just a second; it pulled at her heartstrings to see the aching sadness there.

"Four," she said rushing towards him. "What happened? Is everything okay?" Her eyes flicked over to Amar for a second.

"Go to bed, Tris."

"But―"

"Tris!" There was a finality to his tone. She glanced at the few people looking in her direction before hurrying down the hall, slamming her door shut.

She sat on her bed with her back against the wall and drew her knees up, annoyed at how easily he'd dismissed her until she heard ― and felt ― his door slam shut. Her eyes squeezed closed when she heard him yell, his burst of anger resolving into a noise that could only be described as a sob. Curious, she leaned over and held her ear against the wall.

Four dragged his shirt over his head, pressing his palms into his eyes to stop the burn. He wished he could just shut off his emotions and go through life doing what he needed to do to survive without having to worry about the relationships he formed. It was why he had a hard time allowing himself to get close to anyone: they always hurt him in ways that were completely unforgivable, or left him entirely. He was tired of the crappy hands he was constantly being dealt. It was emotionally draining.

He took a deep breath and lay down. On the other side of the wall was someone he wanted to let in. He thought about the pain it might cause to extend that trust, or the damage that might be done if he was honest with her. He was willing to hurt himself, to take that risk, but he wasn't willing to hurt her. They might have only known each other for a couple of weeks, but he felt like he'd known her for years.

He reached out, placed his hand on the wall separating them, and closed his eyes. Tris sighed when she didn't hear anything after his sob, and curled up under the covers, snuggled up to the wall.

The alarm on his watch beeped. He groaned and turned it off, staring at it. When it went off last night, he didn't expect to hear Amar telling him to get his ass out of bed and over to the main entrance. It was not how he wanted to be informed of a mission gone wrong. Or a death. He rolled back into the position he was in before, a small smile finding its way onto his face. Despite everything, he had fallen asleep trying to be closer to her.

He pulled on sweats and a t-shirt, and was surprised to find Tris already up and waiting for him in the hallway. The  uncertainty and apprehension in her eyes startled Four, but then his reaction to her kindness  the night before came flooding back into his memory.He closed his eyes and ran his hand down his face.   

“Tris, I… I shouldn’t have yelled at you last night." His voice was deep, still thick with sleep.  "Some shitty things happened, and I really don’t want to get into it right now, but you didn’t say or do anything wrong.” The truth was he just wanted to get into Dauntless to work out some of his frustrations. Tris visibly relaxed and nodded her head.

He pushed himself hard, harder than he had planned on with Tris being there. He couldn't shake the sense of responsibility he felt. If he had been there instead of a few of the more inexperienced guys, it would have never happened, and two people wouldn't have lost their lives.

When they were done he turned the shower hotter, hoping the heat would wash away not just the physical pain, but the emotional, too. He knew Tris was his responsibility, but while he was busy enjoying every second he could get with her, his fellow patrol members were out risking their lives. He sucked a breath in through his teeth, his skin turning redder by the minute. It should have been him.

Unless otherwise needed, all deceased bodies were cremated at the Bureau. With no spouse and no next of kin to inform, they didn't waste any time. Four stood there, holding Green's badge, the picture of his mother covered in dried blood.

"You okay?" He turned to see Amar standing behind him, feet spread and hands clasped behind his back. A true soldier. One he didn't even hear come in.

"No." He didn't feel like sugarcoating things. He wanted to let it all out. "I should have been there."

"Why? You think things would have turned out differently?"

"You know they would have."

There was a silence between them, and Amar knew it was nothing more than Four blaming himself. He blamed himself for a lot of things: his mother, his father's treatment of them both, his lack of control over his life. It ebbed and flowed, but Four took on more blame than he thought necessary, and Four always seemed to feel that he deserved it.

"So what if I did take you. What then?" Amar's voice was louder than it was a few seconds ago. "It would be you in that urn? Is that it?"

"Maybe it should be." Four's voice was low, menacing.

"You're fucked in the head, you know that?" Amar began to pace back and forth. "Even if you did go on the mission, you wouldn't have ended up here."

"And neither would he. He would have sat his happy ass at the fence instead of being dragged along just to prove some point. Don't think I don't see it, Amar. Your jealousy and my… _stubbornness_ are like oil and water, and you know that."

Amar did know. On more than one occasion, the two of them had almost come to blows, but in the end they always worked it out. Four was the best thing that had ever happened to Amar. He showed him what it meant to love and care for someone, even if the feelings weren't returned. As much as it pained him to admit it, they probably would have been toxic for each other. He let out a heavy sigh.

"You wouldn't have been left to guard the vehicles. It might not have been that different."

"Yeah. Smart move putting that responsibility on the guy who puked at the first sign of fear, who also happened to be recovering from a leg wound."

Four was not in the mood for Amar's bullshit. He knew the reason Amar took Green was to prove that he didn't need Four now that Tris was in the picture. He could see the gradual shift while it was happening. Some of the blame lay on Four for not speaking up sooner, but Amar would have to accept that he wasn't entirely innocent, either. He watched Amar carefully, trying to judge if they were going to have another fight or not.

"I know." Four's eyes narrowed, and Amar sighed. "I fucked up. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken him."

"Sorry doesn't change dead."

Amar knew Four was right. His petty jealousy had cost someone their life. He knew he could never have Four in the way he wanted, but whenever George left him to do work in other cities, loneliness crept in and old feelings resurfaced. _If I can't have him, nobody can_ was an old, familiar demon that Amar had to work hard to push away. He stood there as Four opened the urn that contained Green's ashes, and placed the badge inside. "They should be together," he said quietly.

Tris didn't say anything when he sat down next to her in the cafeteria. Despite his silence, she knew something serious had happened. Between the return of the battered and bloody patrol team in the middle of the night, and his vigorous attempts at knocking the stuffing out of the punching bag that morning, he was different. She watched as he pushed the food around on his plate, not really eating any of it. It hurt her to see him this way.

"Four?" She looked up to see Zoe, and then immediately shifted her eyes over to Four. He raised an eyebrow. "David would like to see you. Both of you." She looked at Tris, and Four had to work hard to restrain himself from telling her to fuck off. He gave her a quick nod.

"Come in." David wasn't as welcoming as he was the first time they met, and Tris felt a slight twinge of panic. "I was glad to see you cooperating, Miss Prior, but now that we've effectively wasted a week giving you time to acclimate, I think it's time for you to do as we asked."

"She didn't ask for that week," Four said. His face was hard, and he looked at her quickly before turning back to David. "And Matthew wasn't here."

"Semantics," David replied. "Besides, she could have worked with another geneticist. I'm beginning to regret putting you on this detail, Four."

"Excuse me?"

Four only respected David because he had to. There was always something about him that set Four on edge, but he could never quite place what it was. He thought back to the time when he was new to the Bureau: David wasn't nearly so callous then. Granted, time and circumstances have the ability to change things, but Four didn't think this type of reaction was warranted.

"Would you like to be excused?" It was a challenge Four didn't expect.

"No, Sir." He clenched his jaw tight.

"Very well, then. As I was saying, Miss Prior, I expect you to work with Matthew and I expect results. He's waiting for you in his office. Now, if you please, I am very busy at the moment."

Tris could see the rage building up in Four. She felt that same rage inside of her. Her mood matched Four's face, and it became a silent battle between the two of them as they walked to see who would reach Matthew's office first. She was practically jogging to keep up with his long strides. He didn't bother to knock this time, startling Matthew as the door flew open.

"What the hell happened out there and what the _hell_ crawled up David's ass?" Matthew looked between the two of them. They were both breathing hard and Four was already pacing a small hole in his rug.

"Four, Beatrice. Close the door and we'll talk."

"It's Tris, now," she corrected, closing the door and taking a seat. Four continued to pace.

"Nice." Matthew smiled. "So, I gather you talked to David this morning?" Four snorted and glared at him. "Well, I can't really answer your second question with any accuracy since I wasn't there, but I do have an idea. Sit." Four paused for a moment, then took a seat.

"I was collecting random samples in Indianapolis. It's another city, like Chicago, only they already shut that experiment down," he said, looking at Tris. "Just ask if you don't understand." She nodded. "David told us that he had some intel on a possible Divergent. Even better than this one might turn out to be." He motioned to Tris. "I tried to talk him out of it. I mean, now that Indianapolis is an open city, there are thousands upon thousands of people in there that are untagged, and he wouldn't divulge the source of his intel. Anyway, I was collecting samples as they were trying to track this person through the city, and David didn't anticipate the people figuring out what we were there for so fast. They weren't too happy to see us."

"What happened?" Tris asked. Her excitement rose as she thought about a city with no walls. A city of pure freedom.

"What always happens. One person starts shouting, another one flaunts a gun. Everything goes downhill from there." Matthew shrugged and Tris's hopes deflated. "When we got back to the vehicles, some of them had already beat us there. They were trying to steal them, of course. Probably thought that they could get a hefty price for something like that. That's when Green and Myers got shot. Sorry," he quickly added, realizing how he sounded.

Four nodded. He knew Matthew wasn't trying to be indifferent, but it always came off that way. Sometimes Four wondered if having an Erudite aptitude turned off your emotional capabilities. He knew Matthew felt compassion, he just wasn't sure if he knew how to actually show it. Four looked up to see Tris's eyes locked on him. It made him feel like he was on fire.

"On the way back, he was... well, he was pissed. He was typing on his tablet, muttering and doing this weird… I don't know, maniacal laugh. For a minute I was sure he had lost it and that I was going to have to restrain him until we got back. I don't know if he was talking to someone or just writing up a report, but he was all of a sudden calm and back to normal after a few minutes. Or as normal as David gets." He pulled a necklace out of his shirt and stuck it in his mouth. Tris raised an eyebrow at him; he spit it out.

"So, what does that have to do with me?" Tris asked. "He made it seem like it was my fault that you guys were gone for a week and I didn't do any testing."

"Eh, forget him." Matthew waved his hand. "I really don't have an answer for you, but it's not your fault. You want to do some stuff today? Hopefully get him off everyone's backs?" She really didn't want to, but she knew from their interaction with David that not cooperating could have serious ramifications for Four.

As they made their way towards Matthew's lab, she stopped, the Candor scales catching her eye. "Why don't you just ask me?" Both Four and Matthew turned around.

"Ask you what?" For the first time, Matthew had a confused look on his face.

"I don't know. Just ask me anything. Maybe I know something and I don't realize I know it. I mean, it's truth serum, right? I can't lie if I know the answer."

"I don't think it works like that, Tris," Four said, shaking his head.

"Now, wait just a minute," Matthew said. "We've never tried anything like that before. I mostly agree with Four, but it can't hurt to try and at least rule it out. If you're willing, that is." She nodded.

Four paced as Matthew pulled a syringe and a vial of light blue liquid out of a cabinet. Tris sat in one of two chairs in the center of the room. They were surrounded by a handful more, and a few tables off to one side, but she assumed this was where she would need to be.

"Now, I have to warn you, Tris. If you try to lie, the serum will be very painful. The purpose of it is to prevent the subject from stating anything other than the absolute truth, so that you'll just blurt it out if you know the answer. I just want to make that clear to you before we begin." She nodded as Matthew walked over to her. He gave her a reassuring smile as he motioned to her neck. She pulled her hair to one side, her eyes catching Four's as the needle pinched. She swore the expression on his face changed.

She felt an odd sensation in her stomach, like someone was trying to pull it down to the ground. She looked up and her head spun. Or maybe it was the room. She didn't like anything about it, so she closed her eyes.

"Are you Divergent?" Matthew asked.

"Yes." Tris was surprised how easily the word left her mouth.

"Do you know why you're Divergent?"

"My genes."

"Do you know how your genes healed themselves?"

"No."

"Do you know why you got three aptitudes?"

"No." Her face turned into a grimace, and she could feel a heat burning inside of her.

"Is she lying?" Four asked.

"I don't know. Maybe I'm not asking the right question." Matthew thought about how to rephrase it. "Did you _want_ a different aptitude?"

"Yes." Her face relaxed, the pain subsiding.

Matthew focused on her for a moment, trying to figure out her thought process. "Do you think your Divergent result was because you wanted to get something other than Abnegation?"

"Yes." Matthew nodded as he mulled her responses over in his head.

"That's not how it works, is it?" Four asked.

"No. I mean, at least I'm pretty sure it's not. Never really thought about it before. Anything you want to ask her?" Matthew said with a wink. His face quickly became serious when he saw the look on Four's. "Okay. I was just kidding. What's your name?" he threw out. He knew he needed a few base questions to compare with her other answers.

"Tris."

"How old are you?"

"Sixteen."

"Wait!" Four strode up next to Matthew. "What's your name?"

"Tris."

He turned his head towards Matthew, in disbelief that he caught it and Matthew didn't. He was about to reach out and shake Matthew, when he saw recognition cross his face. "Oh! She's, well, she's not lying, but she's not exactly telling the truth, either. Quick. Go to the cabinet and pull out a clear vial. It's the only one there, so don't worry about grabbing the wrong thing. And a new syringe. Please," he added when Four shot him a look.

He injected the antidote into Tris and waited patiently for her to come around. "Nothing?" she asked. Her head was fuzzy as small pieces slowly came back to her.

"No, there was something. Just not what we were going for," Matthew said. "How did it feel when you lied about knowing why you got three aptitudes?"

She thought about it for a moment. "Like I was on fire. But I didn't really lie, did I?"

Matthew shook his head. "But you didn't tell the truth, either. The interesting part was what happened after that."

"I'm confused."

"When we asked you what your name was, you said Tris instead of Beatrice."

"Okay…" She had no idea what that meant.

"You lied, technically. You should have defaulted to Beatrice because that's your given name, but you didn't. And you weren't affected by the serum." Matthew's eyes were alight as he spoke.

"So what does that mean?"

"It means we need to do a little experiment."

They set up a series of questions before injecting her again. They practiced a few times, having her repeat things that weren't true to see if they could modify her results in any way. She was excited this time as the serum took over.

"How old are you?"

"Sixteen."

"What is your name?"

"Tris."

"What is your favorite color?"

"I don't have one." Matthew smiled while Tris's face was blank. Her favorite color was green, but being Abnegation, she wasn't supposed to have a favorite anything. She must have been able to pull from her upbringing to answer deceitfully.

"What was your aptitude?" They both leaned in as they waited for her answer.

"Dauntless." Her face contorted, but only slightly.

"What is two plus two?"

"Five."

Matthew's mind went into overdrive. The questions had been arranged so that her answers would progressively become outright lies. She showed some signs of feeling the serum, but was able to answer in the end without giving anything away. He was sure this was a first.

"Well, it was a success," Matthew said as she came around. Four was standing next to him, a smile on his face. "You managed to evade the question that had multiple answers with only a small tell, and lied your way through the others. Congratulations, Tris. You're officially the coolest person we've ever had here. Besides me, of course."

She laughed at Matthew's lame attempt at humor. It faded quickly, though, when she realized that maybe she really was what they were telling her all along. She was suddenly afraid what that meant for her future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know some of you are getting antsy for a little action or for things to get rolling along, and we're getting there, I promise. Like, next week I promise lol. As always, thank you for your reviews! I hope everyone has a great weekend, and a Happy Halloween!


	10. Given the Options

Four wasn't sure why he felt so panicked. Tris's success had just validated every reason he'd had for insisting that David pull her out of the city. But David's odd demeanor — combined with the threat of shutting down the city and pulling all funding from the program — kept replaying over and over in his mind. Something wasn't adding up. Tris was sitting in the chair she was in earlier, with her eyes closed, while Matthew was typing up a report at one of the tables. He wasn't sure if he could trust Matthew implicitly, but he had to start somewhere. He took the seat next to him. 

"David's different. It's not just me, is it?" Four's voice was low. 

Matthew stopped typing. "He's been different for a while," he murmured. "Been trying to figure out what's been going on for a couple of months." 

"And?"

"I haven't found out much more than we already know. He's stressed. The government is demanding results. Chicago is one of the last running experiments. I don't know if the pressure is just getting to him."

It wasn't a long shot to think that's all it was, but the look Matthew gave Four told him he thought there was more, too. Matthew’s eyes flicked over to where Tris was, and Four raised his eyebrows. He turned his head to see her eyes narrowed and locked onto Matthew. 

"You might as well just say it," she said. Matthew spun in his chair to face her, and watched the defiant look fall from her face. "At this point, there isn't much else you could tell me that would shock me. I mean, my whole life has been one big lie, right? What else is there?"

Matthew cleared his throat. "I've been trying to hack David's new password, but before he changed it, I found out some… things. About your mom. I wasn't really sure how to tell you." 

Tris stood up, feeling like she had been punched in the gut. "What about my mom?" Any piece of information she could get her hands on felt like it would help her get through this. She wanted to be closer to her parents however she could be.

"She isn't from Abnegation."

"I know. She was Dauntless. I saw it in the genealogy room."

Matthew raised his eyebrows. "Then you know it's not just that." Tris looked at Four, who was too focused on Matthew to notice. She shook her head. "Tris, your mom came from the Fringe. And she and David, they used to be friends. Maybe even more."

Tris didn't know what to do with this information. She felt frozen in place as Matthew and Four both stared at her. It wasn't until her ears started ringing and her vision started going dark that she realized she wasn't breathing. She took a deep breath and knelt down. Matthew and Four were by her side as she placed her hands on the cool tile and took another deep breath. She didn't realize how sweaty she had become; she closed her eyes and laid down on her back, appreciating that the room was large and full of enough tile to keep her cool. 

"Tris?" The panic she heard in Four's voice made her open her eyes. 

"I'm fine." Her voice was hoarse; Four didn't look convinced. He hovered over her, a hard look on his face as Matthew backed off a little. "I'm fine," she reassured, looking into his eyes. His face softened and he gave her a small nod.

"I thought I couldn't be surprised by anything else. Guess I was wrong." She let out a weak chuckle. "But you know what? I think I'm finally there now. I'm just so done with feeling out of place and being blindsided by everything, and I… I _refuse_ to be shocked anymore. Try me: tell me something else that ought to freak me out, like my brother is really a spy from a different city, or that my father is just a figment of my imagination."

"Are you sure you're okay?" Matthew asked. "You sound a little crazy."

She laughed. "Like you can talk. You're the one who keeps telling me all these stories." Both Matthew and Four smiled. 

She had no idea why it had hit her so hard. Secret after secret had been thrown at her for almost two weeks. She guessed it was the difference between finding out secrets about her own life, and secrets about her mother’s. It was the last thing she would have expected. At least now she knew what the 'F' meant on the plaque, right after her mother's name.

After checking again that Tris was okay, Matthew and Four both agreed that she should take it easy the rest of the day. Tris had had enough excitement, and her face was still a little pale. It was close enough to lunch that they made their way to the cafeteria to get something to eat. 

"So, how do you know all of this?" she asked. They were sitting at a table in the corner, as far away from everything and everyone else as they could get. Matthew took a long look at the both of them before looking over his shoulder. He had been trying to figure out how to broach the subject ever since he realized who Tris was. He let out a long sigh; now was as good a time as any to tell her everything he knew.

"I stumbled upon some old letters. I only read a couple of them and just skimmed the rest, but from what I could gather, David found her in the Fringe. Which probably explains why he was overconfident about Indianapolis." He trailed off for a moment, as if lost in his thoughts. "Anyway, I'm guessing she volunteered or he convinced her to be placed inside the city, but she disobeyed whatever her orders were. It's only her replies, but you can tell that David was upset. It was mostly a lot of fighting, and then she ended their correspondence." They both watched her closely.

"I already told you, I'm past being surprised." She waved her hand and took a bite of her sandwich. 

"Well, alright! I can make you a copy if you want, so you can read it yourself." Tris smiled. Things didn't make any more sense than they did before, but now she would have a small piece of her mother to hold onto. 

"Guess you were right," Four said. She looked over at him. "Your mom did know." Tris wondered when she figured it out. She remembered her mother's heavy sobs, and the way her face looked when they found the body. She thought about her father, too. Clearly she hadn't shared her thoughts with him before the funeral, given the way he had been overcome with grief. 

"Do you think there's a way I could get a message to her?"

Matthew shook his head. "That is one thing I haven't figured out." 

Their conversation was quiet, but they stopped talking altogether when the cafeteria started filling up. Tris was careful to keep her mannerisms the same; shy, quiet, scared. She had the sudden desire to keep everything about herself between just the three of them, though she knew that was going to be difficult with her circumstances. If she was going to do what was asked of her, it was at least going to be on her terms. 

"There you are!" Tris gritted her teeth at the sound of Zoe's voice. "David was wondering how your day was going. He got the report from you, Matthew, so thank you for that." She flashed him a wide grin. It was the first time Tris didn't see Matthew immediately return a smile. "Speaking of David," she continued, "He would like to know what is on the agenda for the rest of the day." She looked at each of them expectantly. 

"Run a few more tests," Four lied. "Maybe have her take it easy. The truth serum was a lot for her to handle." 

Zoe pursed her lips. "I'll let him know."

"I'll do it," Tris said as she watched Zoe walk away. "Whatever he wants. I don't want you to get into any more trouble because of me." Four looked up from his plate as she fixed her gaze on him. He wanted to say no, but she had a look in her eye, one that said he wouldn't be able to convince her otherwise.

"I wouldn't worry too much," Matthew said, and Tris broke eye contact. "He'll back off in a day or two."

They took their time eating, Matthew and Four both asking Tris multiple times how she was feeling. She knew their intentions were good and she appreciated their concern, but it was starting to grate on her nerves. They didn't need to continue being so careful around her. She wasn't going to dwell anymore on the turmoil she had recently been through; all she wanted to think about at the moment was reading her mother’s letters. On their way back to Matthew’s office, they were intercepted by David.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to observe the rest of today's tests." He smiled at Matthew, an expectant look on his face. 

"Sure thing, Boss!" Tris wondered how Matthew changed his persona so easily. Then again, it wasn't like she wanted to be completely honest with David, either. Maybe that was why she liked Matthew so much. 

"Actually," Four interrupted, "We were thinking of giving Tris a little break for the day. The truth affected her in a way she hadn't anticipated." Tris had to stop herself from smiling at Four's wording. 

"Affected or not, we need to do what we need to do." David took a step closer to Four. "If you can't follow a simple command, then perhaps I should remove you." 

"She is not a lab rat." It was the second time David had threatened him, and Four's voice left no room for interpretation. David might be his superior, but he wasn't going to stand by while they subjected her to round after round of God knows what. 

"I never said she was. But perhaps we should show Miss Prior exactly what it is we're trying to accomplish here." Tris wanted to voice her agreement, to finally know if there was going to be more than just sitting around while test after test was administered on her. "Show her what damage truly looks like." 

She saw Four's jaw clench, and Matthew took a step back from the two of them. She thought about doing the same thing herself, but she was caught between looking at Four and David. They both had an intensity in their eyes she wasn't sure she had ever seen before, and it was all because of her. 

"I'll do it," she said, taking a step closer. Four looked down at her. Tris pleaded with her eyes, hoping that he wouldn't say anything. Whatever it was, she didn't want him to lose his position because of her, nor did she want him to be replaced. She didn't want to be escorted around by anyone else. Four was her anchor in this new life; he was someone she trusted and liked, and she wasn't about to let David take him away.

"See? Give the girl an option, and she'll pick the right one every time. It's so _refreshing_ to see purity in action." Tris turned her head slowly. She didn't like what David was insinuating. He simply smiled down at her. 

"Fine," Four growled out. "But not until she has some training. I'm not taking her out there completely vulnerable."

"Very well," David said. He looked at his watch. "Better get a move on it. I set patrol to leave in an hour and you can tag along." 

Four watched the back of David's head as he walked away. He was sure he was doing this to spite him, and Four didn't know why. It made a rage burn in him like he had never experienced before. His only connection to Tris was the fact that they were both from Abnegation, and David had never shown any particular hate or favoritism toward any of the factions, or to Four for that matter. This was all new territory, and he didn't know why he was being singled out. 

"Four?" He closed his eyes for a second before opening them to look down at her, then at Matthew. 

"Can you put together what we talked about? I have to take her to Dauntless." Matthew nodded and left them to continue his work. 

They walked in silence until they were in the safety of the large room. Four inhaled deeply, taking in the familiar smell of sweat and metal. He gave Tris a quick glance before walking to the cabinets. She stiffened when he took out a gun. "Come on," he said. She thought he sounded defeated. "I can't take you out there without knowing you at least know how to hold one." She swallowed down the lump that was forming in her throat and walked over to him. 

Tris winced with each gunshot. The room didn't help things, as each loud bang seemed to reverberate off the walls louder and longer than it should have. She watched Four like she did when he taught her how to throw a knife, hoping it would be just as easy. She knew she was wrong the second he placed the gun in her hand: it was heavy, bulky, and felt entirely too large for her small hands. She thought about the other girls in Dauntless for a moment and wondered how they did it.

He stood aside as she copied his stance. She lined up the sights like he instructed, took a deep breath, and pulled the trigger. The kickback was bigger than she imagined; the gun flew up towards the rafters and the bullet was nowhere to be found.

"Sorry," she muttered. 

"It's okay." He was calm, quiet. "Try again, and hold on tighter. Remember to keep tension." She nodded her head. 

She shot round after round, and though she managed to keep a better grip, none of her shots made their way onto the target. She set the gun down on the table next to them and walked away. 

"I can't do this." For every step forward she took, she felt like there was something else forcing her to take two steps back. She felt confident she could deal with every secret being thrown at her now, but something as simple as firing a gun was giving her pause. Maybe there wasn't any talent involved with her aptitude. She paced a long line, trying to wrap her head around things. Trying to figure out what it was that was holding her back.

"Tris, it's okay. You don't have to be perfect. You just need to know how to protect yourself."

"Is it really that bad?" Her voice wavered. 

He took a deep breath and nodded. "I've seen some things I wish I never had. The way the factionless live is a luxury compared to life in the Fringe." 

"How did she do it? She must have been so frightened." 

Her mother had always been the bravest person she knew, and Tris had assumed that she felt that way because that's how children were supposed to feel about their parents. She recalled her mother never giving a second thought to helping even the most frightening factionless, and how she had taught her and her brother to talk to them calmly and to always treat them with respect. Tris was suddenly desperate to see how her mother had lived, to see firsthand what it was that made her so different from the people out there, from the ones that were labeled as inferior. 

Tris stopped walking and her eyes fell upon Four. He was a curious creature; one she hadn't taken enough time to figure out, yet she was feeling closer to him every day. She knew she watched him more than she should, and she often caught him doing the same. The way he looked at her and the way it had begun to make her feel were hard to describe: it was some odd mixture of warm, content, and _awake_. It was exhilarating, and she knew she wanted to feel that way all the time. 

She let her eyes roam over him, taking in the small shift in his breathing as she did. Her heart rate increased as she walked towards him. Tris had absolutely no doubt in her mind that if he was around, nothing would ever happen to her. But she also knew he was right: she needed to learn to protect herself if she was going to go outside of the compound. And if her mother could survive out there, then so could she. 

She took a deep breath and picked the gun back up. He walked around her noting her form, tipping the gun up just slightly, trying to control his own breathing. Tris could feel him standing next to her; she took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Her eyes flicked to him for a moment and he nodded. She fired, finally hitting the target. His smile spread wide, mimicking her own. "Again," he said, and she nodded. 

While she certainly wasn't fit to go out on patrol anytime soon, Four was at least satisfied that if push came to shove, she could protect herself if things went awry. Tris still didn't feel comfortable enough to take a gun with her, though, so he grabbed two knives just before they left. She smiled at the looks they got as they walked through the compound. Four looked intimidating, and she liked it. 

They met up with the other members of patrol who were set to go out on the mission. Tris recognized Jones, but she wasn't happy to see Briggs. She just didn't like the guy, and she definitely didn't like the way he was smiling at her. 

"What's with the Stiff?" he asked. 

"It's Tris," she said, her voice loud and firm. "Call me Stiff again and see what happens." She had no idea where her burst of confidence came from, but she held her head high as most of the group turned to look at her. Four kept his face firm, and raised his eyebrows in a challenge when Briggs shot him a look. In reality, he was fighting to suppress a grin, as well as the sense of pride he could feel spreading inside him.

"Nice!" a female voice called out. Tris looked around to see where it came from: a woman with long red hair stepped out from behind a couple of bodies. She was clad in the same outfit everyone else was wearing and offered Tris a wide smile, which Tris returned. She felt a little relieved that she was not the only woman going out there, and that she also wasn't the only short one. Tris hated the fact that she was always smaller than everyone else.

"These jerks call me Baker, but you can call me Ruby." She pulled her hair to one side and began braiding it. "And don't let any of them give you any shit. We girls are just as good as they are." She winked and disappeared again. 

"Come on," Four said from beside her. "Time to get you prepped."

Four and Jones helped strap her into a bulletproof vest. It was still a little big, but it covered all the essential areas. Four debated on giving her a helmet with a communication device in it, but they were all too large. He hated giving her the smallest one they could find. It only reminded him of how inexperienced and vulnerable she was. 

He pulled two sheaths from a cabinet, threading one through a belt and handing it to Tris. The knife didn't feel nearly as out of place as she thought it would as it rested against her hip. Four's face was impassive as he knelt down on one knee in front of her. Tris's breath caught in her throat as she moved her leg forward and bent down to help him strap the other knife onto her thigh, his hand occasionally brushing hers. She knew she was red, not just from the heat she could feel rising up her neck, but also from the smirk Jones had on his face. She shook her head and caught Four looking anywhere but at her. She noticed that the tips of his ears were red, too. 

Tris climbed into the van with ease. Four would have put her in the back of one of the covered utility vehicles they normally use for runs, but he wanted something faster and all their own should they need to leave in a hurry. They followed the other vehicles in silence for most of the drive.

"How come there isn't anything around the Bureau?" she asked as they drove. They had passed only empty fields that were peppered with a few piles of rubble. It was nothing like the dense array of buildings they drove through on their way out of the city.

"I think they cleared most of it away when everything first happened. Wanted it to be isolated. People can't encroach if there's nothing to live in." Tris nodded her head. 

She could see the beginnings of buildings the longer they drove. As they passed each one, Tris looked for any signs of life. Four's mouth turned up just slightly at the constant movements of her head. 

She saw something shift in a window, or at least she thought she did — they were still going too fast for her to be sure. They started to slow down as the buildings became more frequent; she could see the faces more clearly now, peeking out from broken windows and from underneath tarps. Even in those brief moments, Tris could see the fear and uncertainty in each expression. 

As they made their way further into the Fringe, the people started scattering. Tris wanted to reach out to them, ask them why they were so afraid, but she knew: what's more frightening than the unknown? Tris turned her head to see the sadness in Four's eyes. 

"Welcome to the Fringe, Tris," he said as they came to a stop. She took a deep breath and opened her door. The air was foul, and garbage lined the sidewalks. The few people that were still scurrying for a place to hide were thin and dirty, and she immediately understood why David wanted her to see this: she could never have imagined anything like it. The people that stayed out looked her up and down, a dark glint in their eyes. It sent a shiver throughout her entire body. 

"Are you ready?" Four was inches from her. Tris was hyper-aware of his presence, yet he still felt too far away. She took a deep breath through her mouth, tasting the acrid air, and nodded.


	11. A Hunger More Profound

"You stick close to me and do everything I say." Tris nodded again at Four's instruction as they joined the group in front of them. Two large boxes were pulled out of one of the utility vehicles and opened, giving her an opportunity to look inside.

"Cameras," Four said to her as his crew looked over the contents, triple-checking that everything was in place. "We'll split into two groups to set them up. The Fringe is growing larger every day, with more and more people leaving the cities or spreading out from the center of the Fringe. The Bureau will monitor their movements, watch for any red flags." Tris raised her eyebrows. "Signs of Divergence," Four clarified.

She wondered what they could possibly see on the cameras that could give anything away, but as she looked up at him, she thought about the short time that she'd known Four. It struck her yet again how different he was compared to everyone else at the Bureau: he was strong and proud, intimidating even. He did as he was told, but he also didn't take no for an answer. Yet underneath that hard exterior she was seeing a softer side, glimpses of kindness. He didn't seem like the type to garden, but they had hung out in Amity often, getting their hands dirty. And he was patient with her, making sure she was always his priority. He stood out to her in the same ways her mother did in Abnegation: neither one seemed to fully belong anywhere. Tris wondered if she could ever truly find a place she felt connected to, a place where she belonged.

"Ready," Ruby said.

"Alright. Jones, Watson, Baker, Owens, Briggs — you're all with me. The rest of you head on out to the furthest checkpoint. I want radio contact at all times. In and out in an hour. Go." Tris watched as four people raised their weapons and fanned out, two more picking up a case and following them. They were like a well-oiled machine, and Four was their operator. She looked up at him; his eyes flicked back and forth between hers for a moment before he turned away. He lifted his gun, as did the others. "Move out."

They walked slowly, Tris never more than a couple of feet away from Four. Jones stayed behind them, and it gave her a small sense of security. The streets were empty, except for the occasional person standing outside looking like they wanted to kill every last one of them for what was inside the box.

"Why didn't we drive in?" she asked.

"Roads are hazardous. Holes. Burnt-out vehicles. Walking is unfortunately the safest way for us to get in and out." They turned down another street, heading the opposite way of the second group. As they walked, Tris took in the living conditions. Four was right: living factionless did seem like a luxury compared to what she was seeing.

Most of the windows were missing from the buildings, and she assumed inside wasn't any better. There were sometimes tarps or pieces of cardboard that covered them, indicating someone lived there, but the majority of the people seemed to live in small lean-tos that were placed against the buildings, fitting just one or two people. Tris stared as occasional people let themselves be seen. They were almost indistinguishable from one another: dirt, grime, tattered clothing, thin bodies, protruding bones. She didn't understand how anyone could allow them to live in these conditions. No matter what their genes said, they were human, too.

"What happens in the winter?" She knew there were times when factionless would freeze to death, when the wind blew dark clouds in and the temperatures fell. And those were people who at least had _some_ access to adequate shelter, clothing, and food.

He looked over his shoulder. "They die."

Four saw the sadness in her face, but there wasn't any use in sugarcoating it. It was a hard life, and he thought everyone should know. He had always been hopeful that the Bureau would find what they were looking for, that he would see the day that people didn't live in squalor. He desperately wanted the day to come when everyone would have at least one meal a day and a roof over their heads. But as the years went on there was a small shift occurring ― the same shift he saw in David ― and he began to believe that even if they found what they were looking for, they still wouldn't care about these people. He knew firsthand what it was like to be considered an 'other', damaged goods. He never liked the idea that so many people felt exactly like him.

The tarps were becoming less frequent, the streets becoming slightly cleaner. The smell of garbage and urine was even fading. Tris saw a little girl looking out of a window and stopped to stare.

She looked no older than eight, but with malnutrition rampant in the Fringe, it was possible she was older. She wasn't quite as dirty as the others and still had a light in her eyes; Tris wondered if she had recently come here from somewhere else. Tris lifted her hand and started to wave, just as three gunshots rang out.

She ducked quickly and saw the little girl disappear. Jones was right on top of her, gun aimed in the same direction as the rest of their unit. "Come on," he whispered, and motioned for her to get behind him. He walked slowly, backing up into her and gently pushing her against a wall. She could see Four just on the other side of the intersection; she hadn't realized he was that far away from her. His eyes were locked on her as he put his hand up to his helmet.

"I know, goddamnit," Jones said as he pressed on the side of his own. Her heart was beating hard and fast and she could hear it in her ears. Logic told her that she wasn't the target, but that didn't stop her from worrying that whoever was shooting would hurt her simply because they could. Her eyes moved fast, taking in everything around her.

"Copy." Jones turned to her. "Okay. Shooter is down the street. Can't cross the intersection either way without risking them firing again. They're going to circle around wide and set up the camera while I get you back to base. Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah." Her voice was full of uncertainty.

Jones frowned. "Just do as I say, and we'll get through this." She looked past him to see Four watching them. He gave her a nod, and the two of them turned around.

Four watched them for a moment, hating everything about the situation. Instinct had pushed him forward when the shots rang out when it should have pushed him back, towards her. Now she was stranded with Jones. Four knew he wouldn't let anything happen to her, and not just because he had threatened to kill him. Jones was a good man, and he knew what he was doing. He took one last deep breath and turned back to his unit.

"Briggs, Watson, out front. Owens grab the box. Baker with me." They moved forward in formation, guns drawn. Watson and Briggs advanced cautiously across the next intersection while the others waited for the all clear. As they progressed further away from the incident, they began to relax.

"Jones, status." Four's apprehension increased when there was a long silence. "Jones," he said, firmer this time, "Status."

"Three blocks out, waiting. There's some sort of commotion between two men."

"Copy." Four's apprehension didn't subside.

Tris waited around the corner, out of the way, as Jones kept an eye on things. Unless they backtracked, they were going to have to pass by the men. They were arguing ― over money it sounded like ― and things were getting more heated by the second. Most people were still hiding, but a few were braving the situation and coming out to watch. A few even seemed to be choosing sides. Jones knew that if any of them ended up dead, the others would scavenge the bodies for whatever they could take.

"We can go a few blocks back and work our way around or wait it out," he said to Tris when he came back. "Waiting it out would probably be quicker, but there's the risk of the two of us out in the open so close to this." Tris looked around. The buildings looked clear, but she had a feeling that could change in an instant; they were shot at in an area that had fewer people.

"We can head―" She was cut off by gunfire.

"Stay put," he said as he scrambled to look around the corner. Tris wasn't sure she could move even if she wanted to. She heard yelling as another shot rang out. "Go!" Jones turned, running at her. His eyes were wide as he motioned with his hand for her to move. She snapped out of it and turned, running as fast as her legs would take her.

"Shots fired! Multiple weapons!" Jones shouted into his comm as they ran. "Taking cover!" Without looking back, he could tell the situation was following them. People were peering out now as they ran past, even going so far as to throw garbage at them. When a shot ricocheted off the wall only inches from him, he knew they had to quickly find shelter somewhere out of sight. "Hide, Tris!" She heard him and turned down the first alleyway she saw.

It was long and narrow and abnormally calm for everything that was taking place. She slowed down and looked back; she was only hearing one set of footsteps. "Jones?" She tried to control her breathing as she waited for a response. Another gunshot rang out, closer this time, and her stomach dropped when she heard cheering. She pulled the knife from her hip as she stood there, alone.

"Jones? _Jones_!" Four pressed his helmet harder.

"Faster!" Ruby shouted, pulling the drill out of Watson's hands and taking over. She had finally gotten Jones to admit his feelings for her, and there was no way in hell she was going to stand around while something happened to him. "Done!" she called out. "Get that shit hooked up, now! We got two stranded out there."

Four appreciated her enthusiasm. He pulled her aside as he got in there, looking at the camera feed. "It's good enough. Leave the box, we need every gun. Let's go!" Briggs kicked the box aside as they moved out.

Tris walked slowly down the alleyway. Her senses were heightened, every noise turning her head in one direction or another. As she approached the end, she recognized the main street they had come in on; the van was no more than six blocks to her left. She walked more than triple that to the bus stop in Abnegation ― she could handle six blocks. She peered around the corner.

The first thing she saw was a burly, older man. He was the only person she had seen in the Fringe that didn't look to be on the verge of starving to death. He had a young girl pressed against a wall, and Tris could feel her uneasiness despite the distance. He said something to the girl; when she shook her head, he pulled his hand back and slapped her. Tris tightened her grip around the knife as the girl cried out. She took a deep breath and stepped out, only to be yanked back into the alleyway.

She raised the knife and turned to see a young boy holding his hands up in surrender. He shook his head slowly, then held a single finger to his lips. She heard a scream and turned to see the man, now joined by two others, laughing as they tore at the young girl's clothes.

"I have to help her," she whispered. The boy shook his head rapidly and motioned for her to follow him. She had no idea who this boy was, but he seemed to be looking out for her, and Tris's instincts told her she should trust him. She took one last look at the girl, a surge of hope racing through her as another man entered the mix, voicing his objections. The three men turned their attention to him; he seemed to know what was coming. He stood still as they took turns punching him. Tris didn't know what to think as they continued their assault on the man who was clearly unconscious now, but the girl was nowhere to be found. She turned back to the boy; he had tears in his eyes, and her heart broke at the sight. He motioned again, and this time she followed.

He took her through a door she hadn't noticed before. It was dark inside, and it smelled even worse than the streets. Tris followed him up a flight of stairs; to her relief there didn't seem to be anyone else in the building. She was led into a small room that was moderately cleaner than what she had experienced so far.

"Is this where you live?" she asked. The boy nodded. "It's nice." The boy gave her a small smile that she returned. He offered her the only chair in the room; she sat to be polite. He held up his finger and left the room, and Tris was worried when he didn't come back right away. She heard footsteps and raised her knife ― it was the boy with a mug of water for her. She smiled and took it, setting it on the floor.

"How old are you?" He held up ten fingers, then another three; she scrunched her eyebrows when she realized he hadn't said a word. "Can you talk?" He shook his head. "Oh. I'm sorry." He shrugged and it made her smile. "I wish you could tell me a little about what it's like out here," she mused. "I'm supposed to be out here learning what makes me so different from you. They think I'm someone who can save everyone, only I don't feel like I am." The boy watched her, an amused look on his face.

It was obvious to anyone with two eyes that she was different from the men out on the street, but what made her so different from the boy in front of her? He had pulled her to safety when he saw that she was in need; it was something she would have done without thinking twice. The Bureau would probably brush it off or attribute it to her Abnegation values, yet this boy did the same thing without ever having been in the city. The Fringe didn't seem like a place that taught this type of behavior.

"Do you know the word Divergent?" He shook his head. "That's okay. It's not important anyway." They sat in silence for a while. She thought about leaving or trying to watch from a window, but the memory of the men kept her locked in place. The boy tilted his head to the side for a moment, and held up a finger as he left the room. When he returned his eyes were wide, and he motioned for her to get up and follow him. She stood and crossed the room.

She was confused as his thin fingers clawed at the wall, until a piece of it broke away. He slipped inside and motioned for her to do the same. She stepped forward, realizing she wouldn't fit with the vest and helmet. She scrambled to get it undone, now hearing voices that were getting louder by the second. The boy stepped out and pulled her helmet off, setting it next to the wall. She slipped the vest over her head and he took it, setting it with the helmet and pulling a tattered blanket over them. If anyone looked closely enough they would see it, but it would have to do. He pulled her inside the wall and they placed the piece back just as a loud laugh echoed through the room.

"That little mute fuck ain't here," a raspy voice said. "I thought I saw him in the alleyway."

"Maybe he went to go take a shit," a deep voice said, and they laughed. "You wanna wait or what?" Tris silently prayed that the men would leave. She didn't know how long she could stay silent, stuffed between two walls in pitch blackness, or how long the team would wait for her before they assumed she was dead and left for the Bureau.

"Eh. We can wait a few."

The seconds felt like hours as Tris willed the men to leave. They talked about some of the most vile things Tris had ever heard, and it took everything inside of her to not push the wall open and throw her knives into their beating hearts. She had never thought herself capable of killing, but if even an ounce of what she was hearing was true, these men deserved it. She closed her eyes and rested her head against the wall.

"Four." The communication halted the group. "Four, it's Jones. Do you copy?"

"I copy," he said. "Status?"

"In control. Six blocks west of base."

"Tris?" Four panicked when there was no response. "Jones, _status_."

"MIA."

Ruby immediately turned her head towards Four. "Last known location?" she asked, a hand pressed against her helmet.

"Five blocks west of base."

"Stay put," she said, and Four nodded. "Rendezvous in five."

"Copy."

They walked as fast as they could. The sun was dipping dangerously low; in another hour, they would have to call off their search. The Fringe was an unpredictable haven for violence and debauchery at night, and their chances of escaping unscathed lessened as each minute passed.

"Team two, status," Four said into his comm.

"Package delivered. Awaiting orders at base."

"Leave two to guard. Pull the rest six blocks west."

"Copy." The more he had looking, the better their chances.

Tris was relieved when she heard the voices in the room start to move away from them. She let herself relax until she felt a soft hand on her arm. The boy brought her hand up and set it on his face; she felt him shake his head. "Okay," she whispered. They waited for a long time in complete silence, until the boy nudged her side. "Now?" she asked. He put her hand on top of his head and nodded. She felt in front of her until the small seam was under her fingers, and pushed. The air was cool and she inhaled deeply, happy to be out of the small space. She helped the boy put the wall back together.

"My people will be looking for me." The boy nodded. He walked to the door and tilted his head again, motioning for her when he felt it was clear. They crept down the stairs and waited near a window. There still weren't many people out, and she hoped it would work in their favor. Only a few minutes passed before the first sign of them came.

"Tris!" She heard her name called out from somewhere, and turned to the boy who pointed at her, a questioning look on his face.

"Yeah, that's me," she said. The boy smiled. "Come with us," she urged, but the boy shook his head. He pointed out to the streets, where the woman had been accosted and held his hand over his heart. "Are you sure? I know it's scary to go somewhere you've never been, but you can do it." He gave her another smile and nodded.

"Tris!" Her heart began to beat harder when she recognized who was calling for her.

"Four!" she yelled back. She gave the boy one last smile and turned, pushing the door open.

He felt like his heart stopped the second he saw her face. His feet were moving, his arms pulling her into him as if they had done it a thousand times before. His pulse raced as she placed her hands along his sides, her fingertips dancing along the only spaces that weren't covered by his vest. He was warmer than she expected, and his hands spread wide against her narrow frame. She angled her head up slightly, the proximity of his neck daring her to find out how it would feel to press her lips against it.

"Jones?" She whispered, the hot sting of tears in her eyes.

Four shuddered as her breath ghosted over his neck. "He's fine." He pushed her away, holding her out at arm's length to look her over. "What about you? Are you hurt?" She shook her head. "Where's your vest? And your helmet?" He placed his hands on each side of her face, gently turning her head side to side.

"I'm fine," she insisted. "I had help. I had to take them off to hide."

He expected her to look terrified, but she had a calmness about her ― one he almost envied. His thumb traced a soft line across her cheek; she closed her eyes, and what he was feeling left him at a loss for words. He had never been so scared in his life, not even when his mother was sick and dying. But now that she was here and she was safe, he could only pull her into him again. There would never be a better feeling in the world than his head resting on top of hers, and her hands moving softly over him. He never wanted to let her go, but as Jones and Ruby rounded the corner, he did.

"Tris!" She wiped her eyes as she turned around. Jones had his arm around Ruby, who had a wide smile on her face. "I'm glad you're okay."

She smiled at him and nodded. "You, too. For a second there, I was afraid they got you."

"Nah. I got them first. Can we get the hell out of here now? I am so done with this shithole."

Tris frowned at his choice of words. She knew he didn't mean anything by it, but she turned to see if she could find the boy again. She didn't even know his name, and she owed him her life. "I need to get my vest."

She led Four up the stairs; the boy was nowhere to be seen. She picked her things up, and ran her hand over the hidden door. "Thank you," she whispered. She didn't know if he was in there, but if he was, then he didn't want to be found.


	12. And Just the Same

Tris leaned against the shower wall, a hand over her mouth, the spray melding with her tears. There was so much wrong in the world, and yet David and the people of the Bureau were treating her as if she was the only thing that was right. The boy that had helped her was proof enough that they were wrong. There was good in the world, they were just looking in all the wrong places for it.

It hurt her to leave him there. The Fringe was teeming with people who would harm him in an instant, yet he stayed. He was young and innocent, but he must have felt like he had a purpose there. Tris hoped that there was someone looking out for him, just as he had looked out for her. He didn't deserve that life. Nobody did.

She lay in her room for hours, willing sleep to come, but her churning thoughts kept it at bay. When she couldn't stand lying there any longer, she opened her door quietly, only to see the light on in the common area. She was silent as she walked, peering out from the hall to see Four hovering over a tablet. Butterflies settled in as she walked towards him.

"Hi."

He looked up from his tablet. "Hey." There was nothing but awkward silence for a moment until he looked down at his watch. "It's late. Everything okay?"

She shook her head. "Can't sleep."

He gave her a soft smile and closed down what he was working on. "Me either."

She pulled out the chair next to him and sat down. There were so many things she wanted to talk about: the Fringe, the boy, and David and her mother. But she felt that if she started talking, it would come out jumbled into one large question that would have no real answer. She took a deep breath, and tried to focus on the most important thing she learned, something that was stuck at the front of her mind.

"The boy who saved me. He… he was different. He just… helped me. There were three men, and they were trying to pull the clothes off of a young girl. And then he was there, saving me from the same fate, maybe. And he couldn't even tell me why he did it. I tried to get him to come back with us, but he wouldn't. Why would someone choose to stay there, Four? He's too young and too nice…" She trailed off. Her thoughts were coming too fast now for anything coherent to come out.

"Where there is evil, there will always be good. It's something my mother used to tell me." Four closed his eyes for a moment. He hadn't talked about her in a long time, but it felt right to do it now. To start letting Tris in. "We came here when I was eleven. It was winter, and she was sick. They took care of her, got her healthy again. I had someone to show me around, but I was more concerned with my mom, so they left me alone, gave me time to just be with her. When she got better, they assigned someone to her, the way I'm assigned to you. My mother was then supposed to be the one to help me, to guide me and tell me everything she was told, but she was more concerned with the city and what was going on there.

"So, I adjusted on my own. I preferred it here. You know, that odd sense of freedom that you feel compared to the city." Tris nodded her head, taking in every clue he was giving her about his past. "So, when my mother decided she didn't want to stay, she caused a scene until they agreed to let her leave. I hated her for wanting to go back to that life. We fought and argued until I told her I wasn't going back and she couldn't make me. My mother had a hard time seeing the error of her ways; I understand where she was coming from now, but as an eleven year old kid? All I knew was that I was hurt. She left me without even saying goodbye. She was back in the city for close to a year before she was killed."

Tris felt like her heart was being ripped right out of her chest. She couldn't imagine fighting with her parents, or them leaving her or Caleb alone in a place like the Bureau, no matter how upset they were.

"Anyway, it's how I got placed so high in security here. They called me loyal, a fighter for the cause." He fiddled with the tablet in front of him. "Really, it's just because this place felt like the lesser of two evils. It's taken me seven years, but I finally found the good in it."

She felt herself get hot as he looked over at her. His small admission made him nervous, but he couldn't stop staring at her. She had unknowingly ignited a fire in him, and he liked the way it burned. He stopped himself from pulling her closer.

"Four?" He watched her mouth as she spoke. "I think I want to go get lost for a little while."

They walked through the deserted compound, down the stairwells and into the area with the colorful lights and bottles. There were quite a few people scattered between the bar and the tables, and she was hesitant until Four placed his hand on her back. It felt like strength and fire, and it encouraged her forward. She slid into a chair, Four taking a seat across from her.

Tris looked around at the people closest to her. Most of them seemed to be enjoying themselves while drinking, talking, and eating. There was infectious laughter behind her that made her smile. Although she'd never had alcohol before, she had always assumed it wouldn't be for good reasons. At least, that's what she had overheard other people say. A man in the corner, quiet and alone, caught her eye, as if to prove her point. When her eyes landed back on Four, he had a small smile on his face.

"I have no idea what I'm doing," she confessed.

His smile widened, and it brought one out of her. "We can eat or drink. Or both. Fried foods usually go best with everything. Maybe something sweet. Alcohol isn't for everyone, so don't feel like you have to drink it."

She nodded. "I think I want sweet."

Four got up and headed to the bar. When he came back, he had a glass in each hand. "Pick your poison." She leaned forward; one glass was full of clear liquid; the other, light brown. She eyed him and took the brown one. It tickled her nose when she smelled it and she raised an eyebrow at him. "It's mixed with fizzy drink," he clarified.

She took a sip, and her mouth puckered instantly. "I don't know what I was expecting," she said, and Four laughed. "I don't! It's both good and gross at the same time."

"That pretty much sums up most drinks that involve alcohol."

"Good to know."

They sat quietly, sipping on their drinks. Tris had an arsenal of questions building up inside of her, but the room was noisy and full of people she didn't know; she wasn't sure what was safe to say out loud. She stood and switched seats, pulling her chair as close to Four as she could. "Can we talk?" Four felt his palms get sweaty. It was an open-ended question that had a million implications in his mind. He swallowed hard and nodded.

"I kind of don't know where to start," she admitted. "There's so much I want to know, but I don't know if you have the answers, or if you're even willing to share." It felt like she had stabbed him in the stomach. He knew his reasons for keeping his secrets were valid, but she had ripped apart that certainty in less than ten seconds.

"It's okay," he said quietly. "If I can answer it, I will."

"What faction were you?" He felt all the air rush out of his lungs; he didn't expect her to jump right into it. He knew he needed to tell her, that he'd already started to, but now that she was asking for it, the words stuck in his throat. It was only when a large piece of chocolate cake landed on the table in front of him that he felt like he could speak again.

"Thank you," he said to the man who had retrieved it from the kitchen.

"You're welcome. Have a nice night!" He waved to the two of them and left.

Four held out a fork, but she only raised an eyebrow. He hung his head for a moment before answering. "Factionless."

She closed her eyes briefly. She wondered if the reason he seemed so familiar was because she _had_ seen him, fed him, or handed him a coat once. It actually hurt her that they might have crossed paths before and she didn't remember it. "I'm sorry," she whispered. She offered him a small smile when he looked up, and held her hand out.

"Fair warning," he said as he placed the fork in her hand, "This cake is life-changing." She flashed him another smile and took a big bite. He watched as her eyes went wide, the smile spreading.

"What is this?" she asked, taking another bite. She truly had never tasted anything like it.

"Dauntless cake," he answered, taking a bite of his own. He closed his eyes, savoring the sweet, rich flavor.

"Man, maybe choosing Dauntless would have been worth it."

"Is that what you were going to do?" It was his turn to ask questions.

She sat there for a moment, thinking about what they both had said. When Four had found her, she was trying to make that decision, running scenario after scenario through her mind. She never got a chance to choose, but a part of her now thought that was exactly what she would have done.

"I considered it," she answered honestly. "And it's probably what I would have chosen."

"Dauntless is hard," he said.

"What? You don't think I could make it?" She gave him a coy smile, one that made him wonder if she was flirting with him.

"I think you could make it anywhere."

They eased into a comfortable silence, sharing the piece of cake and sipping their drinks. She was beginning to understand why people would want to come here occasionally; it was a place to unwind and forget, even if only for a little while. Her eyes roamed the room lazily until she started to notice the same green jumpsuit gathered around most of the tables.

"What do they do?" she asked, tipping her head at a group who were laughing.

"They're GD's," Four said. "They take care of things like cleaning, cooking, laundry. Some are on patrol."

She frowned. "And the GP's?"

"They run this place. Make all the discoveries and make all the big decisions." His voice was hard, bitter.

"Where do you fall in?"

He took a deep breath. The answer always felt like a gray area to him. "GD."

"I don't believe that," she said. Her words were quick, insistent. "I mean, they pulled you out for a reason, then they just go and tell you you're damaged? It's not right. You are _not_ damaged." She hated being different, now more than ever. Tris knew she was different in Abnegation, and she was still different here. She just wanted to be normal for once. She picked up her glass and took a long drink, grimacing afterwards.

"Hey," he said softly. She turned her head to see his eyes flicking back and forth between hers. "My parents were both Divergent. They assumed I would be, too. It's why they saved us." She hated the way he said the word saved, like a small part of him broke just saying it out loud. "Turns out I'm an outlier. I have some perks, but no genes." He slammed the rest of his drink back, and stared into the empty cup.

"I'm sor―"

"Well, what do we have here?"

They both looked up to see Briggs, red and sweaty, glass in hand. Four rolled his eyes; Briggs was a big guy, but he couldn't handle his liquor and it made him even more intolerable. He pulled out the chair closest to Tris and sat down.

"Surprise, surprise. The Stiff and the Golden Boy, out on a date." He took a drink; some of it dribbled down his chin.

"You're drunk," Four said. His voice was deep, firm. Tris knew she should be intimidated, but he wasn't like that with her. She thought he wasn't really like that at all, that circumstances made this part of him come out.

"How astute. See? I can use big words, too, and there ain't nothin' special about me." Tris turned away from him. "Hey! Hey, Stiff, I'm talking to you."

"Enough." Four stood up, drawing the attention of the entire room. "Not one more word."

"Or what? You gonna tell on me?"

"What do you want?" Tris held her hand out in front of Four, staying him.

"Look at me, and I'll tell you." There was a pit in her stomach as she turned her head. "We all risked our asses out there today, and for what? To play daycare for the baby? Jones almost died because of you. Green _did_ die because of you. You're not so special. You're no―"

Four was over the table, Briggs's shirt in his fists as he pushed him down to the ground. He wanted to lose it, to inflict so much damage that Briggs would be unrecognizable to even himself. He settled for dropping to his knees and punching him twice in the face. Briggs let out a wet laugh, blood flowing freely from his nose. Four hovered over him, fist up, ready to hit him again when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He let out a stuttered breath at her touch. "You'd better thank her," he said through gritted teeth, "Because she just saved your ass."

Four knew that she would hate him now, that she would finally realize that he was damaged in ways she couldn't possibly understand. He didn't look back as he walked down the corridor, but he didn't need to: he could feel her one step behind him.

"Four." She grabbed his arm softly, and again it was there, that electricity that only she created when she touched him. She held on, her fingers burning a permanent mark on his skin, until he turned around. He felt like she took a piece of his soul with her when she finally let go. "Is that true?" Her eyes were wet; he felt his heart squeeze.

"No. Absolutely not. Don't ever listen to a thing he says. He's just a… a bitter…"

"Asshole?" Four smiled, his eyes alight with something Tris didn't know how to describe.

"You know, it sounds so wrong when you say it," he said, a soft chuckle escaping. She smiled.

He was too wound up to sleep, and he was happy to admit that he wasn't ready for their night to end. Things felt different now, more relaxed. Her arms swung with ease as they walked, her head held higher, a small smile on her lips. When he turned towards the research wing, her smile widened.

He closed the door behind her as she stared at the various objects scattered around the little room next to Erudite. Tris only had a chance to check out the maps the last time they were here, and she was eager to see what else it held. Four passed her without a word, and sat down in front of a screen. His eyebrows were scrunched as he tapped away, wanting to share with her his small escape. He came here often, to either nurse or drown in his feelings. She pulled a stool close and sat down, every last inch of his body aware of her proximity.

He angled it towards her, and pressed on a folder labeled _music_. She had heard the banjos and the songs the Amity sang whenever Abnegation helped with the harvests, but this wasn't anything like that music. This was sadder, haunting even.

Four's mood had shifted slightly; he was quiet, calm. "Does it remind you of her?" He nodded. Tris was quiet as she thought about what he must be feeling, asking the question as soon as it came to her. "Why do you blame yourself?"

He took a deep breath and shrugged. Four knew he couldn't have done anything more to change his mother's mind, and even if he had gone with her, he couldn't have protected her. He never could protect her from him. He closed his eyes, lost in the horror of watching her face on the screens as she was beaten to death, helpless to stop what was happening.

He felt her hand on his, soft at first, then more insistent as she forced her fingers in-between his, squeezing. He squeezed back just before she let go, electricity pushing his heart into overdrive. "It's not your fault," she whispered.

"I know."

The song ended, and they sat in silence. It was oddly comforting to him, knowing that they didn't want to do anything other than just be in each other's presence. There wasn't any need to fill the silence with words or laughter. Tris was content to sit by and let him have this time, to share in something that he had always kept to himself. It made him eager to do more than just sit, but he pushed those thoughts aside. Her eyes were taking in the things around her; he let out a loud sigh and picked up the object closest to him: a small metal rectangle.

"There are people who work for the government who find and catalog things like this from our past. This had a lot of different kinds of music on it, and pictures, too. It was also a communication device, an early prototype of what we use now."

"There were pictures?" She didn't know why she was so desperate to see more from the past. Four smiled and nodded, tapping on the screen again.

This time it was filled with image after image of a smiling girl with short brown hair. Tris smiled as they looked at more pictures: the young girl laughing with other people, one of trees and flowers, another of a person standing on a stage with a lot of lights surrounding them, even one of a small baby. As Four scrolled through, there wasn't anything about these people that seemed violent or dangerous. Nothing that indicated they needed to be fixed.

"I still don't understand it," she said. She wasn't sure if she ever would. "Do you ever feel like you're being lied to?"

Four let out a loud breath. "Yeah, I do."

"So, what happens now? I mean, I'm supposed to be the answer to everything, right? But I don't have the first clue about what's really going on, or how my being Divergent actually helps anything."

Four shook his head. He didn't know how to answer her questions. The truth was that he had been patiently biding his time, waiting for her ― or whoever ― to come along so he could get that answer for himself. All he had ever heard was that Divergents were the key to everything, and he had gone along with it. Sometimes he felt like a failure for following blindly; he should have been more discerning about every last thing the Bureau fed him. "I guess that's something we'll find out together."

Tris let out a long breath. As he looked at her, her eyes were frantically searching his as she worried her lip between her teeth. His eyes fell, watching as she let her lip loose, her tongue darting out briefly to wet them. He wanted to press his own lips to them, to see if they felt as soft as they looked. His eyes drifted back up: hers were still now, locked onto his. He knew then that this was it; he was going to have to open up to her if he ever wanted his thoughts to become reality. There were enough secrets and uncertainties floating around, and he wasn't helping by keeping his past from her.

"Come on," he said, standing. "There's something I need to show you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When the sins of my father  
> Weigh down in my soul  
> And the pain of my mother  
> Will not let me go  
> Well I know there can come fire from the sky  
> To refine the purest of kings  
> And even though  
> I know this fire brings me pain  
> Even so  
> And just the same
> 
> Make It Rain - Ed Sheeran
> 
> I've gotten a few asks on whether this story was based on this song, and yep, it is. This is what Four listens to when he's locked away in the little room. There are other songs too, ones I waffled between using. But when all was said and done, this song really connected with the story, and eventually ended up being the title. (I swear, we went through like 7 different ones lol.)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter. There is still more to Four's story, which will be revealed soon. Oh, and as always, thank you for your reviews!


	13. The Pain of my Mother

"Are you sure we're allowed in here?" Tris asked as they approached the door. "I mean, it's really late."

"That's the best time to come," Four said, a small smile on his lips. The truth was that he had been in here many times, his curiosity getting the better of him over the years. Or at least he tried to convince himself it was just curiosity; oftentimes it felt more like a compulsive need to be punished. She paused for a moment as his hands rested just underneath the eye, and then followed him inside. 

She wished she was surprised that he led her to the door with the flames, the one that housed the simulation equipment, but her gut told her that it was the only thing in this room that was going to be of any real value to her. She took a deep breath and tried to get the image of the large dog attacking the girl out of her mind. 

Four was silent as he pressed through the door, pulling two syringes from the cupboard as well as two vials of orange liquid. "Simulation serum," he said over his shoulder, "Lets your worst fears out."

"Shouldn't we wait for Matthew?" He could hear the nervousness in her voice. 

"These aren't going to be your fears, Tris." He tried to sound as reassuring as he could. Her eyes never left his as he hooked electrodes to the both of them, her head swimming with what might possibly happen. She gave him a small nod when he picked up a syringe. He stepped forward, brushing her hair off of her neck. 

She felt like her every nerve was fine-tuned to his touch. Electric was the only way she could describe it; it sent her senses into overdrive in a way she had never experienced before, a way she suddenly wanted to experience every second of her life. Her small admission to herself caused her to inhale sharply; Four assumed it was nerves. "It's okay. Just a mild pinch." He stuck himself first, just to show her. 

He picked up the other syringe, letting his fingertips graze her neck lightly just before she tilted her head to rest it in his hand. She didn't feel the pain of the needle, just an insistent, instinctive desire to move their bodies closer together. Four sat down and reached out, bringing her onto the chair with him. She relaxed against his body just as the serum pulled them under. 

They were standing on top of a building that towered over the city, the wind whipping all around them. Lifting her gaze overhead, Tris saw familiar blinking lights: the Hub. She had an excited smile on her face and a wild look in her eye, like she was experiencing life for the first time. It faded quickly when she saw the fear plastered on Four's face. 

"Heights?" she asked, and he nodded. "Okay. Is there a stairway door for us to get down?"

"No door," he said, his voice strained. "There's a pipe on the side of the building. I've climbed down it before, but I don't know if it will hold the both of us." His eyes squeezed shut; it was the first time she had seen him vulnerable. 

"Stay here," she yelled as she started to explore. She thought maybe it was her imagination, but the wind seemed to increase. 

She strained to walk, the wind pressing harder with each gust against her small frame. She searched as best as she could for an exit, but to no avail. She could see the pipe he had mentioned, snaked over the edge of the roof. She made her way to it, and just before she leaned over the edge, a firm hand gripped her wrist, holding her in place. She turned to see Four, arm outstretched, panic-stricken and sweating. "You could fall." His chest was heaving, his hand trembling as he held on to her. 

She loosened his grip and maneuvered her hand into his; he squeezed it so hard she thought he might break it. "It can't hurt us," she said, leaning a little further. His arm was taut, refusing to give her any leeway. 

" _What_?"

"It's just a simulation, right? So it's not real. It can't hurt us."

"Tris…"

"Do you trust me?" She looked into his eyes, fearless, while he tried to get himself under control. He knew she was right, that it was only a simulation, but it _felt_ real. He swallowed hard, and nodded his head.

She was gentle as she pulled him closer to her. His feet felt like cement, heavy and unwilling to move. But as she took his other hand, the weight lessened slightly, as though everything would be okay if he just let himself believe it would be. 

She stepped up onto the ledge, his heart rate spiking as she wobbled. But she smiled at him and it made that warmth he felt whenever she was around increase, and he forced himself to step up with her. "On three," she said, and he nodded. 

_One. Two. Three._

She leapt over the edge, and he allowed himself to fall with her. His eyes were watering, but she was smiling, a small cry of joy escaping as they plummeted. He closed his eyes, and was all but certain his heart had stopped when they hit the ground hard. She let out a loud laugh and he opened his eyes to see her hair tangled and windblown, her smile lighting up her face.

"You liked that?" he asked, his breathing hard. 

She laughed again as she nodded. "That was… amazing."

"Maybe you really are cut out for Dauntless," he said, a half-smile on his face. 

"Maybe I am," she said, teasing. "So what happens ne―" Tris grunted as the simulation went dark, something large and hard slamming against her back.

"Four," she said, sounding strangled as they were crammed together in a small space. She stood still, listening to Four's rapid breathing as the space became even tighter. 

"Shit," he whispered. "This was a bad idea."

"It's fine," she lied. While she wasn't claustrophobic, it wasn't an ideal situation being trapped in close quarters in total darkness. "What happens now?"

"We wait it out."

She hated the way he sounded; there was a mixture of panic and anguish in his tone. She was quiet as she tried to think of a faster way out. "How does this differ from the aptitude tests?" she asked. 

"You have to face your fear for it to register and move on, or you have to slow your breathing and your heart rate." 

"Oh." She had no idea how to help him face this particular fear, other than to stay put and let time pass. 

Her arms were beginning to ache being pressed against him at an odd angle, not to mention his elbow was digging into her side. "Here," she said. "Let's at least try and make this more comfortable." She wiggled until one arm was free; she was able to wrap it around Four's lower back where there was some space. She did the same with the other arm, turning herself flush against him. The box shrank slightly to take up the space. 

"Well, that backfired," she chuckled. "Put your arms around me."

"What?" Four wasn't sure he could, no matter how badly he wanted to accept her invitation. 

"Just try. It will help, I think, if you have something to rest on, too." 

He leaned as far to one side as he could, and managed to get an arm free. He did the same thing in the other direction, and gratefully wrapped his arms around Tris's shoulders. She turned her head sideways, resting it on his chest. Quite some time passed, the two of them wrapped together as one. His heartbeat never let up and hers wasn't far behind; this was the first time their bodies were touching without vests or armor or anything else between them. She had never been this close to a boy before, but her feelings were unmistakable; she didn't want to know what it was like to be in anyone else's arms. She felt her own heart beat faster, almost in synch with Four's panicked rhythm. 

"Four, is there anything I can do?" She felt him shake his head against hers. "Well, there has to be something that will speed this up."

"You can make it worse." 

She didn't like the sound of that. "How can you make this _worse_?"

"Make the box even smaller. It registers as bravery, moves it along." His words were short, his breath shorter. "There might be another way to make it better," he mumbled. 

She wasn't sure why, but the way he said it made her blush. She angled her head up, hoping to see something in the utter darkness. "Tell me," she whispered, her breath triggering a trail of goosebumps along his skin. 

She felt him lean down, instinctively leaning up in return, and tentatively their lips met. It was innocent at first, as they tested out how they fit together with a few chaste kisses. Tris felt the box shrink again as Four leaned down into her, somehow pulling her even closer, his lips more insistent. She kissed him back with equal fervor, their predicament fading from her thoughts as his fingers trailed along her neck then into her hair, her own hands fisting the fabric of his shirt. His lips were warm, and softer than she thought they would be as they moved against hers. 

When the box fell away, they held on for just a moment longer, neither one wanting the moment to end. He found himself needing to pull some of her strength into him for his next fear ― there was no turning back now. Her fingers pressed into his back; the best moment of his life was slowly being consumed by guilt.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. 

She pulled away, confusion on her face. "Why? I wanted that, too." 

He shook his head. "I should have said something sooner." 

His mood was completely different now. Her eyebrows scrunched as she watched his face pale. The simulation shifted, and suddenly they were standing in the middle of the factionless sector. A part of her wanted to close her eyes, to not see anything that had to do with the hardships he faced as a child, but her curiosity won out as a woman approached them, one that she thought looked familiar. 

"I promise it will be better here. You'll see," the woman said as she opened her arms. Tris watched as Four walked straight into her embrace without hesitation. She didn't interrupt, but began to get nervous as dark clouds rolled in and the temperature drastically dropped, a light flurry beginning to fall all around them. 

"Mom?" Four said, as he pulled away from her. She was thin now, frail. Her clothes were dirty, tattered, and she trembled violently. Tris felt a stinging in her eyes as his mother dropped to the ground, unconscious. "Mom!" he shouted, shaking her. "Please. Please wake up!" 

The snow came down harder, piling around their bodies as Four cradled his mother’s limp form. Tris turned her head, unable to look at them anymore. Their reflections in a window caught her eye: it wasn't Four she saw on his knees shaking his mother, it was a scared little boy, and her heart ached for him. She felt a hot tear on her cheek as she realized that this is how he must see it: that it isn’t him in this fear, but rather his childhood self. She waited for the Bureau to swoop in and rescue the ailing mother and her son, but for some reason the simulation wasn't continuing beyond this heartbreaking moment. Perhaps Four himself was the reason they couldn't move forward. She wiped her eyes and knelt down next to him.

"It's not real," she whispered, putting her arms around him. He was shivering. "Four, look at me." His eyes were red as he turned to look at her. She took his face in her hands. "You have to let her go now. You have to let it move on."

"I know it's not real." His voice was small and unbearably sad. "It's just that this is the only time I get to see her and hold her, and it's never long enough." 

Tris pulled his face to hers, resting her forehead against his. She hated seeing him hurting. Hated watching what was probably one of the worst days of his life unfold in front of her. She reached a hand down and found his arm, pulling it away from his mother and around her instead. His other arm followed, and they knelt there, wrapped up in each other for the second time. His face was buried in her neck, his warm breath making her question everything she had ever known. She closed her eyes, reveling in every last point of contact. Suddenly, he was gone; it took her a moment to realize that Four didn't leave her embrace, he had been ripped out of it. 

"What do you think you're doing, boy?" a booming voice rang out. She was frozen in place as she stared up at Marcus Eaton, his hand firmly gripped around Four's arm. But instead of the strong, confident man who made her feel safe and protected at the Bureau, this was a terrified version of him, one that was cowering in Marcus's grip. 

"Marcus, stop." Tris turned her head to see Four's mom, alive and healthy. 

"Stay out of this, Evelyn." Tris's eyes went wide as she looked between the three of them: Marcus's deep blue eyes, Evelyn's hooked nose and tan skin ― all the same features that were present on Four. Her mouth opened, but nothing came out. 

"No." Evelyn's voice was defiant, and Marcus rounded on her, yanking Four and shoving him at his mother. "This has nothing to do with him."

"Oh, this has everything to do with our son. I will not have him grow up to be like _you_." The hateful words spewed out of him like poison. Marcus started removing his belt, while Four stared on, frozen in place. "It's for his own good. You _will_ learn to obey me, Tobias, so help me God."

Four winced as Marcus's belt came down on his back. He let out a loud grunt, his face contorting in pain as it happened again. Tris stood, anger rising up in her like she had never felt before. She had always admired Marcus, looked up to him even, but to see him in front of her now changed everything. 

"Stop!" Tris yelled out, but nothing happened. Evelyn was pleading with Marcus, while Four knelt down on his hands and knees. Tris thrust herself forward to try and cover Four, the belt coming down across her own back. She closed her eyes as she dropped to the ground, the pain unlike anything she had ever felt in her life.

"Stop it, Marcus!" Evelyn shouted. Tris maneuvered onto her own hands and knees, watching in horror as the scene unfolded before her. Evelyn was screaming at Marcus while Four cowered between them. His hands covered his ears as he squeezed his eyes shut, the belt snapping across his back again.

Tris didn't know what to say or do when Marcus dropped the belt, lashing out at Evelyn instead with his bare fists. The sound of flesh on flesh sent a jolt through her body, Evelyn's screams ringing out in the air as Marcus hit her again and again and again. 

"Four!" Tris yelled, but he had curled himself up into a trembling ball. Marcus shoved Evelyn to the ground, where she lay between the two of them, her face swollen and bloody. She gasped and reached a shaking hand out; Marcus took it. Tris's breaths slowed as she watched them look at each other. Marcus was careful as he knelt down next to her, and placed a hand on her cheek. 

"Marcus." Evelyn voice was strained and she coughed, spurting blood onto his face. He wiped it on his sleeve, his face turning red as if she had somehow done it on purpose to disrespect him. He made a fist and pulled back, landing blow after blow to her head and torso. Tris finally stood, rushing to pull Marcus off of Evelyn. 

"No!" she screamed. Four opened his eyes to see the two people he cared about the most struggling against the one he hated with every fiber of his being. His mother tried weakly to fend Marcus off while Tris tugged desperately on his arm, even going so far as to hit him on his back. 

"Four, do something! Stop it, please!" He snapped out of his fear-induced daze, finally able to process the sounds, the pain, the panic on Tris's face. He let out a scream as he thrust himself forward into his father's side and landed hard on the ground, suddenly awake and aware in the room with the simulation equipment, still reclined in the chair with Tris. 

Tris was breathing heavily, her back still stinging from the belt. She watched him as he sat up behind her and scrambled to his feet. She could see the tension in Four's posture, his hands opening and balling into fists as he paced back and forth, breathing just as hard as she was. He ripped the electrodes off his head and flung them.

"Four?" she whispered. Tris had not anticipated that she would be going through all that ― that _he_ had gone through all of that. She didn't even know where to start, but she wanted to make sure he was okay first. "T-Tobias?" 

It sounded odd, saying his name after so many years. She remembered going to his and Evelyn's funeral, the two of them having been found beaten to death in the factionless sector. It was a scandal that had rocked the city for years: first a leader’s wife and child up and left, and then Abnegation held their funeral when the bodies were discovered, defying factional law. Tris had looked up to Marcus then, thinking he was doing the right thing even though his family was no longer a part of Abnegation. She had never known what had driven them away in the first place, and wished now that she could take it all back. 

"Tobias is dead," he whispered. He left her there, still sitting in the chair. 

It took her a moment to process, her eyes brimming with tears, but she ripped her electrodes off and charged after him. She didn't say a word as she struggled to keep up, Four seeming to not know where he was going as he turned down hallway after hallway, going in circles. Eventually he shoved the doors to Amity open, and stalked out into the cooler night air. 

"God damn it!" he screamed out into the night, frustrated with his inability to act even when it wasn't real. She pulled back, wondering if maybe it was better to leave him alone; after all, she had asked the same of him once. She watched as he walked along the fence, dropping to his knees when he was far away. She took off towards him at a run. 

There was nothing but darkness beyond the fence, the sounds of her breathing the only thing that let him know he wasn't alone. "Why didn't you just tell me?" she asked softly. When he didn't answer, she sat down next to him. "Please talk to me. You're the only thing I have here, the only thing that even resembles normalcy. I don't want to lose that."

"I'm sorry," he whispered again. "I wanted to. I tried to. But do you have any idea how ludicrous it sounds out loud? I mean, would you have believed me? Hell, there are people here who still find it hard to believe and they had evidence right in front of them."

She shook her head slightly, understanding his point. "I don't know. Maybe."

"Maybe isn't good enough." He hung his head. 

She didn't know what to say or how to react, so she simply started talking, hoping it would help. "I remember going to the funeral. I was nine. I cried that night, in my room. I was so worried that you had been in pain or that you had suffered. You were just a kid."

Four closed his eyes and sat down next to her. "I saw you at the funeral — I was watching it on the screens. You were the only person who looked like you cared. It's why I…" He was having a hard time finding the right words as the fear and anger continued to drain out of him. 

"What?" Her voice was soft, caring. 

"It's why I watched you sometimes. Everyone else went back to their normal lives like it didn't happen, like we didn't even matter. But not you. You were _so_ different, and I never understood how no one ever saw it. I saw you go back to the cemetery later that week. Why?" He lifted his head and stared directly into her eyes, hungry for an answer to the question he had asked himself so many times over the years.

Tris took a deep breath. She had never given that day a second thought, but she knew exactly why she had gone back. "I wanted to tell you that I was sorry that I didn't try to be your friend, and that you didn't get a chance to grow up."

He pulled her towards him, wrapping his arms around her, and she hugged him fiercely. It had been a long time since he felt cared for, valued as a whole person instead of just for the skills he could offer. Tris didn't want anything from him except his time and his company. He hadn't even gotten that level of respect from his own parents.

"There's something else," he said, pulling away from her and taking a deep breath. "Natalie was the one who helped us leave Marcus." 

Her mouth fell open. " _My_ mom?" 

Four nodded. "My mother confided in yours. Together they came up with the plan, and in the middle of the night we snuck out. Your mom was there, with food and clothes and a map to a building that was deemed uninhabitable, but that was still safe on the ground floor. It's where we stayed until... until she got sick and the Bureau came for us. Natalie would leave us supplies somewhere, and my mother would retrieve them." He paused for a moment, letting out a loud breath. "I see that same goodness in you too, Tris. No matter what happens here, I know you will always do what's right. It's in your DNA."

"Why? Because my genes say so? Four that is not―"

"No. Because your mother is good. And so is your father."

"Just because they are good doesn't mean that I am."

"Doesn't it, though? You saw me with Briggs. That wasn't even the first time I've hit him, Tris. I wanted to kill him. And over what? _Words_? I feel like I have no control over it sometimes, that it's inevitable that I'm going to lash out one day, just like him. Hell, it's in _my_ genes, according to everyone here." He spat those last words out, hating that he let himself believe it. 

He ran his hands through his hair and over his face. He hated this part of himself, the insecure, scared child that still existed in his head; the one that taunted him with his worthlessness. The one that gave him nightmares and convinced him that he wasn't going to be any better than Marcus, that he was destined to become just like him.

"Four―"

"I pulled you out. Me, not David. I pushed him to look at your footage again, and now all of this is because of me. I mean, what the hell was I thinking? I couldn't protect you in the Fringe. And then there's my mother and Green, I certainly couldn't keep them safe. Christ, I can't even protect you when it's not _real_."

Four blamed himself for far too much, and Tris had no idea how to respond to any of it. She watched him for a moment, muttering under his breath and running his hands through his hair. If she knew only one thing, it was that he was not the monster he was making himself out to be. 

"Did you kill him?" she asked. His head snapped to hers. "Briggs. Did you kill him?"

"No."

"And why is that? Is it because of your genes, or is it because you're a decent human being with a moral compass? You knew he deserved a punch or two, but you also knew that he didn't deserve to die. _You_ stopped yourself, Four. You made the right choice, nobody else. I know you think you’re damaged, but I already told you that I don't believe that. I don't even know if I believe any of this genetics nonsense."

Tris pulled her knees up and wrapped her arms around them, staring off into the night. She wondered again if there was more than what they were being told, more to what David was asking from her. It felt like it was too easy: that they were just going to take her blood, run a few tests, and everything would get better. She looked over at Four, who looked relieved to have finally gotten things off of his chest. She had to suppress her urge to shake him, to ask him what he had been thinking taking her into his fears like that, but she decided that they had been through enough for one evening. And if she was really being honest with herself, she would have to admit that she was actually elated that he had opened himself up to her, despite how traumatic the experience had been for them both. Their bond was growing undeniably stronger.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "And you're right. Even if I would have believed you, I could have never fully understood." She reached out and ran her hand down his back; he shuddered under her touch. "Does it still hurt?"

"No," he lied. It would always sting, the pain of what he endured forever burned in his memory. "What about you? Are you okay?" His face fell, as though he had just remembered that she had been there, too. 

"I'm okay, I'm okay," she said, holding up her hands as he scooted closer to her, turning her slightly. He rubbed his hand up and down her back; it was a welcome feeling. 

"Four fears," she said with a half-smile. "And Four for a name. Clever."

"You can thank Amar for that one. He says it's a low number, even by Dauntless standards." 

She looked over her shoulder. "Well, then, maybe you were cut out for Dauntless, too." She gave a small laugh, leaning back against him as he put his arm around her shoulder. 

"You can call me Tobias, when it's just you and me," he whispered in her ear. "I miss hearing it sometimes."

"Okay," she whispered back. They sat there together in the silence and the dark until the sky began to turn pink.


	14. Six

Neither one of them was able to get much sleep in the early morning, as thoughts of what had happened ― and what was yet to happen ― raced through their minds. Tobias thought about Tris: how he had opened up to her and what would happen afterwards. Tris thought about the same things, but also pondered her role at the Bureau and what the consequences would be if she didn't want to fill it. She was starting to believe that she was going to have to make a hard decision in the near future, one that would anger a lot of people.

They traded their failed attempts at sleeping for working out hard in Dauntless before they headed to a late breakfast. One thing they were both able to agree on as they made small talk was that Matthew was a piece of their puzzle, and they had to start using him if they were going to figure anything out. 

"Good morning," Matthew said as he moved aside to let them in. "You're here early."

"We need to talk," Tris said. 

Tobias shut the door behind him, locking it. Matthew raised an eyebrow. "We need to keep up appearances, but we also need to start digging," Tobias said. 

Matthew rubbed his hands together. "I'm in. What are we looking for?"

"We don't know," Tris answered. "We just know there's something to find."

Tris sat down and spent some time filling Matthew in on what happened in the Fringe, and the suspicions that had arisen in her mind when she received help from the boy. Matthew was silent the whole time, processing every last word in a way she had come to associate with the Erudite. When she finished, he looked between the two of them for a moment, an amused expression on his face. 

"I have to say, I'm glad that someone is finally as smart as I am." He flashed Tris a wide smile that she returned. "I've been suspicious for so long, I was beginning to think it was just me. But the problem is the same as it has always been: where do we begin?" 

Tris looked at Tobias, who shook his head. "We were hoping you could help us there," he said. "You hacked David's email once. I think if there's anything incriminating, it's probably in there."

"Yeah, _once_. And that was a couple years ago. But there wasn't anything that I thought was worth looking at twice. His emails with your mom are only relevant now because you're here."

"Yeah, but things have changed since then," Four reminded, and Matthew nodded. 

"That they have. I wasn't even allowed to see the results of the blood work I took from Indianapolis. The computer locks me out after testing begins, and the results transmit straight to David now." Tobias raised his eyebrows. "Yeah, tell me about it," Matthew said with some bitterness

"Wait, why wouldn't they want you to see the results of your own work?" Tris looked between the two of them. "Matthew, we have to get those results. What if there's something in there?" 

"I'll see what I can do. In the meantime, let's keep up appearances."

They walked down the halls, Tris taking up the rear. She slowed her pace for a moment, caught off-guard when she spotted David down an adjoining hallway. She hardly ever saw him anywhere outside of his office, let alone on this side of the compound. She watched him lean down, talking privately for a moment to a short man with dark hair, before the two of them casually exchanged pieces of paper and began walking towards her. She raced forward, quickly catching up with Tobias, who was looking over his shoulder. 

"Do you know who that is?" she asked as the two men walked away from them. "They seemed awfully engrossed in conversation."

"That's George," he said. "He travels between cities, gathering information." 

Tobias had no idea George was back, since he was supposed to be gone for at least another three weeks. Tobias wondered if Amar knew, or if talking to him would glean any information that would be of value to them. Whatever happened, he knew he had to tread lightly; Amar was exceedingly loyal to the Bureau. He took one last look before continuing on.

"Are you sure about this?" Matthew asked as he picked up an electrode. They had decided not to share their adventure from the night before with Matthew, but Tris was finding it hard to keep up the charade; she was getting curious about what her own fears would bring. 

"I'm sure," she said, sitting down. A part of her couldn't help but be nervous; if Tobias's fears were any indication, she knew it wasn't going to be easy, but they had to do whatever was necessary to stay off David's radar. 

"Now, there's a high chance that you'll be aware that this is a simulation. Most Divergents are, so it's nothing for you to worry about," Matthew stated as he placed the electrodes on Tris. "But the first time is the hardest, since you don't know what to expect. Sometimes it can take people a while to realize they're in a sim, and sometimes they don't know at all. I've even seen them go back and forth between knowing and not knowing, depending on the fear and how they react to it. Everyone's different. If it gets too bad or you get stuck, we'll be watching on the monitors and we can administer another serum to pull you out, okay?" Tris nodded, trying to fight down the worry that she might get stuck in one of her fears.

"So here's how all this works: the serum we use stimulates the fear center of your brain, then translates those fears into simulations that are either literal or symbolic representations of that fear. For example, you might be afraid of choking to death. That could manifest literally with someone wrapping their hands around your throat, or eating a meal and choking on the food. Or, it might be more symbolic, like standing on a stage in front of a crowd and being too scared to force out any words or draw in any air. Now those are the fun ones, sitting around afterwards trying to figure out exactly what it is that you're afraid of.” Matthew gave a small laugh and shook his head, muttering the word 'ladybugs'.

“Okay," he said, clapping his hands together after a moment. "So there are a few ways to get out of the simulation and force it to move on. You can calm your breathing and heart rate or you can face the fear head on, like jumping off a bridge or building. In your case, you might just recognize that it's a sim and the program will simply push forward. Oh, and there's manipulation, too — making something you need appear out of thin air to help you out. Most people have around fifteen fears, some more, some less," he explained, his eyes flicking over to Four. "But the one thing everyone has in common is that they were all able to get through it." He grinned at Tris before turning to retrieve the serum from storage.

Tris took a deep breath as she sat in the chair; it felt larger sitting in it alone. She gave Matthew a tight smile as she processed everything he'd said, then looked over at Tobias. He stepped forward as soon as he saw the uncertainty in her eyes and took the syringe from Matthew, brushing her hair aside the same as before, his fingers lingering on her neck. Something welled up inside of her at his touch: curiosity, desire, courage. She wasn't sure if it was one or all, but her thoughts echoed her memories of the previous night; she found that she liked these new feelings. She closed her eyes as the needle pinched her neck, opening them to see Tobias staring down at her. "You got this. Be brave, Tris," was the last thing she heard.

 _She opened her eyes to see a vast wasteland spread out in front of her_. She blinked a few times, trying to get her bearings, the sun bright and hot above her. Tris circled around slowly, seeing only scorched, dried fields. "Hello?" She saw a flash of black out of the corner of her eye, and turned to see nothing. "Hello? Anyone?" she called out again. There were no buildings or trees or anything within sight to give her a sense of distance or direction or time. She was completely and utterly alone.

The extreme heat was making her increasingly uncomfortable. She glanced down at her clothing and thought about removing her shirt, but her exposed skin was already burning; being in just a tank top would make it worse. She let out a heavy sigh and began to walk.

Tris felt like hours had passed as she wandered, though the sun had not moved at all. In fact, she was certain it was growing larger, hotter. Her clothes were drenched in sweat, her mouth dry from thirst; she knew she was going to die from dehydration if she did not find shelter and water soon. 

She tried to lift her arm to wipe some of the sweat from her face. She looked down when her arm didn't respond, discovering that her feet and arms were now bound to a stake. She heard a loud whooshing sound, and looked up to see a large bird flying overhead: a buzzard. The sun was now easily twice its size, the heat nearly unbearable as she panicked, struggling against the ropes that seemed to dig harder into her already tender flesh. "Help!" Her voice was weak, raspy. She knew it wouldn't carry far. The buzzard landed in front of her with a thud, its beady eyes taking her in. She stared at it warily, certain it was simply waiting for her to die. 

Determination coursed through her, and she began wiggling her body back and forth, trying to save her arms from the pain of the rope cutting and digging into her flesh by loosening the stake from the ground. If she could at least free her feet, she could try to run away from the bird that was slowly inching its way closer to her.

Eventually, hopelessness set in and Tris let out a discouraged sob; despite all her effort, the stake had not moved at all. No tears came as she let out her anguish, dehydration taking its toll. She closed her eyes and let her head hang, resigned to die alone, her carcass picked clean by the patiently waiting bird. She took a deep breath, and let herself relax, refusing to die in fear. She let out a yelp when she fell to the ground. 

"It's moving on," Matthew said, looking at the timer that was running alongside the image. "And after only four minutes, too. She's faster than you."

"Quiet," Tobias said, focusing on the screen. He didn't like seeing Tris like this, and the last thing he needed was Matthew taunting him about his own fears and times.

 _Tris sat on the ground, blinking, unable to see anything until a low light began to emanate from nowhere_. She was confused at first as she looked around, until she realized her vision was limited by dense, dark fog. She reached all around her, feeling blindly in the thick gloom for anything to tell her where she was. "Hello?" she called out; the air was so dense that she swore it swallowed up the sound of her voice, preventing it from traveling out. 

"Beatrice!" She froze, trying to figure out which direction the voice came from. 

"Hello?" she responded. She stood and took small, tentative steps, trying to feel for anything that might be in her way. 

"Beatrice! Over here! Hurry!"

"Mom?" She surged forward, her hands outstretched in the darkness. She had no idea where she was or why her mother would be calling out for help, but she knew she needed to get to her.

She hurried, the fog seeming to darken further. Tris stopped abruptly when her hands ran into something hard and rough. She pulled back, cautiously reaching out until her fingers connected with what was in front of her again. Tris stepped closer, squinting to see anything as she ran her fingers over the rough, flaky surface. "Amity," she said, inhaling the scent of the tree in front of her and running her fingers over the bark. She paused when she found a large gouge, like someone had started to cut it down but had stopped. She felt her way around the tree carefully before continuing on. 

"Mom, are you near the barns?" she yelled, hoping to hear something in return. She held her breath, not wanting anything to distract her as she tried to locate her mother's direction. 

"Beatrice!" She spun, hearing her father behind her. 

"Dad!" 

"Beatrice!" 

"Caleb? Caleb!" She felt that no matter which direction she faced, her family was always behind her. She turned around and passed the tree, deciding to go after her brother and her father at the same time.

She wandered, calling out occasionally, almost certain that their voices were coming from everywhere but the direction she was heading. The fog darkened yet again, and she slowed, coming upon another tree. It was odd to her that they were placed so far apart, but it was possible that she was in an area she hadn't been to before; Abnegation only helped with some of the harvests, and Amity was a large place. She ran her hands over the bark slowly, making her way around the tree when her fingers caught on a gouge. She dismissed it as coincidence and moved on. 

"Caleb? Dad?" She called out as she wandered. She began to panic when there was no response. "Hello? Mom?"

"Beatrice!" She stopped dead in her tracks; her mother was right in front of her. 

"Mom!" she screamed, taking off at a full sprint. She could see her, somehow, through the dense darkness. She ran hard, crying out in pain when rough bark scraped her cheek.

"No!" she screamed out, confused as to how she could make such a mistake. 

"Beatrice!" her mother's voice rang out again, this time from behind her. Nothing was making any sense. She stood and ran her finger over the bark, shaking her head when she touched the large gouge in the trunk yet again. 

Their voices stabbed at her from every direction, swirling around in her head as they grew louder and more desperate. She felt hopeless as she sank to the ground again in despair. Her family was calling to her, but she was stuck in an endless, repeating purgatory. The guilt inside her grew; Tris knew she would never be able to help them, never be able to reach them. She would have to leave them to fend for themselves. She closed her eyes and curled into a ball, their voices coming from all directions.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm sorry." 

"That's rough," Matthew said. Tobias nodded as he watched her give up on saving her family. He hadn't realized her guilt from leaving them ran so deep. Matthew gave him a pat on the shoulder as the fear sim faded out, her heart rate having finally calmed down. 

_Tris was running through the factionless sector, her breathing heavy and her heart racing as she turned down street after street_. She had no idea why she was so panicked, but she knew that she needed to get to safety as soon as she could. She burst through an intersection — Abnegation was in sight, security within reach.

"Stop!" she heard a female voice scream. She turned her head to see an Abnegation woman pinned against a wall, and skidded to a halt. A man twice her size was running his hands all over the woman as she squirmed in discomfort. Tris looked towards Abnegation for a moment, but knew she couldn't leave her.

"Hey!" Tris shouted, walking up to them. 

The man leered at her over his shoulder and she recoiled, second-guessing her decision. "Oh, you want some of this, honey?" She felt her insides twist as the man looked her up and down, licking his lips. "I got enough in me for the both of you." 

She shook her head and backed up slowly. The man turned, letting the Abnegation woman go so he could pursue Tris. She saw another man emerge from somewhere out of the corner of her eye, then another, and another. They were all larger than she was, and they all had the same hungry look in their eyes. 

She spun quickly, searching frantically for a way to escape. A loud rumbling caught her attention; she froze as chunks of the surrounding buildings rained down onto the streets and sidewalks. Tris brought a hand to her mouth, noticing that there were now tarps everywhere, gaunt figures peeking out from behind them to watch. Her eyes caught on a child — pale and thin, with sunken eyes — as more haggard, desperate faces appeared around her. Her eyes widened in horror as she realized that her city, her home, had been transformed into the Fringe.

A deep, menacing laugh emanated from the man in front of her, drawing her attention. "Get away from me," she growled, backing up slowly. The other men joined in, their laughter echoing all around, their intentions obvious. She screamed when a large pair of hands grabbed her from behind.

Tris flailed as the men closed in, pawing at her as they pulled her down an alleyway. She tried to fight as she writhed violently, screaming until her voice began to crack; she whimpered when no one came. The men threw her on the filthy ground, one straddling her as the others swarmed around; she swung her arms, trying to claw her way free.

"Stop it!" she screamed, pushing against the man on top of her. His hands were roaming over places no one had ever touched, and she fought hard to make sure he couldn't put them there again. The other men crowded even more; she froze for a moment when she realized they all had the same face ― the face of the burly man she had seen in the Fringe. 

She clawed at him again — trying to tell herself these men couldn't be real and that the city wasn't the Fringe — but his weight and his foul stench and the way he looked at her made it nearly impossible. She threw her hands out to the side, looking for anything that might help force him off, and rejoiced when her hand touched cold metal. She grabbed it, lifting it to see a sleek knife from Dauntless. She wrapped both hands around the handle, letting out a guttural cry as she thrust it down into the man's leg with as much strength as she could muster.

"She manipulated it." Matthew's face was bright as he looked between Four and the screen. "She realized what was happening, and she flipping manipulated it." While he had heard stories of it being done before, Four had never seen it with his own eyes. He knew he should feel pride, but her fear of the men and her home had his mind racing, his heart worrying.

 _Tris opened her eyes, yawning and stretching, repositioning herself in her bed_. She couldn't remember the last time she was so comfortable; when she heard a knock at her door, she debated ignoring it. Not wanting to be rude, she threw the covers off and trudged to the door, opening it to reveal a smiling Zoe.

"Good morning!" she beamed. Tris gave her a forced smile. "I hope you slept well, because we have a big day planned for you!" She nodded her head and shut the door on Zoe to change. 

She and Four followed Zoe to David's office, neither one of them knowing what was planned. David smiled up at them quickly as he typed on his keyboard, finishing up some paperwork, she assumed. "If you'll give me just one moment, I'll have everything together for you to look at." Tris gave Tobias a questioning look, concerned that David was being uncharacteristically friendly.

Eventually, David looked up at Tris and turned his screen towards her. Picture after picture of her and Tobias scrolled by ― some were everyday happenings and some were more intimate, like their shared kiss in his fear simulation. She scrunched her eyebrows, wondering how he was able to get evidence of that, since even they couldn't see in the utter darkness. Then there were pictures of her, back in Abnegation, staring directly into camera after camera. She had no recollection of doing that, though she must have since she was looking right at herself. Finally, the slideshow ended with a picture she recognized as blood work results. When nothing else happened, she looked at David. 

"Tell me how you did it." David's voice was soft, and he smiled as he said it. 

Tris stared at him in confusion. "Did what?" 

"Come now, Miss Prior. You know exactly what I am talking about. Just save us a lot of time and energy and tell me how you did it."

She looked over to Tobias again and saw him subtly shake his head and shrug. "David, I don't know what you're talking about."

"Your genes!" He slammed his hand down on his desk, picking up a folder and throwing it at her. She stood there, shocked as it hit her torso and landed at her feet. She didn't take her eyes off of him as she bent down to pick it up. Inside there were two pictures: one had the GP-273 marker on it, the other had nothing. She lifted her gaze back to David. 

"The picture on the left shows the blood test result Matthew submitted, proving to the Bureau that your genes were pure. But the picture on the right is from a blood test that I conducted on you myself, and there is no marker, Miss Prior. You are a cheat and a fraud and a liar. We have wasted so much time and far too many resources on you." He took a deep breath, his jaw clenching. "How did you do it? Did you know about the Bureau? You were caught looking at the cameras more than once. Did you pay Matthew to submit fake genes? Were you trying to seduce this one to smuggle information out? Answer me!"

"N-no," Tris stammered out. "David, I have no idea what you're talking about. You're the one who pulled me out! I had no idea any of this existed until then."

" _Lies_. This experiment is a failure because of you. Your dishonesty is singlehandedly responsible for the dismantling of Chicago and the miserable welfare of its inhabitants, and you will be charged accordingly. Tobias, take her into custody."

Tris stood slack-jawed, her head swiveling back and forth in disbelief. She had no idea where any of David's accusations were coming from. Nothing made sense as her hands were pulled behind her back, Tobias securing her wrists together. She knew everything David was saying was wrong; she wasn't a failure, she wasn't responsible for anything. And now Tobias was arresting her… 

"Tobias," she said, her head snapping towards David. "You said Tobias. You would never call him that." David's face paled as he watched her summon her strength, her face reddening as she used sheer force to shatter the shackles that held her arms behind her back. She grinned as she held her hands up, the scene fading away. 

"She's _good_ ," Matthew said. "And now she's starting to realize when it's not real. Not even fifteen minutes has passed, Four." Tobias nodded, appreciating that Matthew didn't say anything about his name. He had a feeling he probably knew it anyway. Matthew didn't miss much.

 _There was a bright light shining in her face_. Tris shielded her eyes and looked around; she was in a barren room surrounded by white walls. Her body ached as she struggled to stand. She felt a sharp tug on her arms and dropped her head, observing dozens of tubes and wires attached to her. 

"Sir, it's moving." She turned her head slowly towards the familiar voice; Tobias was standing with Matthew, David, and a handful of scientists in lab coats. She was separated from them by a thick pane of glass.

"Four," she said, her voice hoarse, "What's going on?" She watched as the scientists began frantically scribbling on their clipboards and tapping on their tablets, muttering to themselves and one another, seeming to keep one eye on her at all times. Her legs were weak as she tried to move; she wobbled like a newborn calf. Unsure of where she was or what was happening to her body, she looked down: her scarcely-covered body was thin, her legs thinner, with almost translucent skin covering bones as if she had never developed any muscles at all. 

"Four," she croaked again, dropping to her knees. Pain ran sharply through every extremity as she knelt there, frail and powerless. She reached up and ran a hand over her pounding head; her cheeks were hollowed out, her hair completely gone. She was nothing but a weakened bag of bones.

"Give it minimal nutrition and a sedative. We don't want it moving around too much." Tris grimaced as the door opened; even the cold gust of air was painful. She whimpered as Tobias picked her up with ease, placing her roughly on a cot. 

"Tobias," she whispered. She was terrified of the look he leveled at her, his disgust and contempt palpable, as though she were vermin that he would be more than happy to exterminate.

"Do _not_ address me as if you know me," he spat. She felt her lip quiver. "How do you even know my name?"

"You… you told me." Her body became sluggish as soon as he tapped on the machine next to her. She felt her eyes get heavy, her limbs more unresponsive. She shook her head, grimacing with pain again, trying her best to fight whatever was happening to her. "Why would you…" It was becoming increasingly difficult for her to keep her eyes open. Her mouth felt like it was detached from her face. "You would never… treat…" 

Her voice trailed off, her mouth unable to move anymore, but her thoughts did not cease. She lay there, eyes closed, her body all but paralyzed as she ran the events over and over in her mind. She knew that Tobias would never treat her with such disdain, that he would never agree to run tests on her or to keep her prisoner. This was not the person she knew.

She felt her eyes move first, twitching, fluttering. She took a deep breath, and with immense effort she opened them. The lights were brighter than ever as warmth from somewhere deep inside of her began to radiate out. Her chest filled with oxygen, her body buzzing with a burning desire to move. Her arms responded first, a primal scream leaving her mouth as she gripped the wires and tubes attached to her and ripped them out of one arm, then the other. Strength surged into her body with each movement. She felt like she was being reborn with a renewed purpose in life, one that gave her a strength she never even dreamed she could possess. She stood, strong and determined, to see Tobias on the other side of the glass, watching her. There was no pain anymore.

"You're not real. You can't be," she whispered as she charged the glass. 

Tobias and Matthew shared a glance. 

_Tris's eyes opened to Matthew hovering over her._ "You okay?" He pulled the electrodes off her head slowly as she nodded. "That was great, Tris. Everything recorded perfectly. I should be able to get a lot of information from the file footage." She gave him a weak smile as Tobias came up next to her and offered his hand; she had never been more relieved in her life. She took it as she got up.

"Oh, wow. I think I need to lie down," she said. She brought a hand to her head, the room spinning slowly all around her: she was exhausted. Tobias placed both his hands on her shoulders, steadying her, a worried look on his face. 

"Go," Matthew said. "I have more than enough to keep me busy for a couple of days, if not longer." She smiled at him gratefully as they walked towards the door, Tobias's arm around her shoulder. Not only would she get a small break from the testing, she'd have some time to adequately think about what her fears truly meant. She was surprised to see David standing there ― hand raised, ready to knock ― when Matthew opened the door. 

"David," Matthew said. "We just finished up some tests with amazing footage and results. We should be able to gath―"

"Perfect," he said, cutting him off. "What's next?"

"Tris is going to lie down," Tobias said. "She's exhausted." 

"Exhaustion or not, we have a schedule to maintain. Matthew, please get the MRI ready."

Tris closed her eyes. She didn't have much energy, and she could feel Tobias's grip tighten around her. "Can I at least get a snack?"

"No." David's voice was firm, final. She felt herself deflate. "Miss Prior, may I have a word with you? Alone?" he added, eyeing Tobias. She looked between the two of them, confused by the tension, but nodded anyway. David turned without a word, leaving her to follow him to the other side of the room. 

"Miss Prior, I know that you are aware that there are certain things that need to happen here at the Bureau in order for the program to succeed." She nodded her head, wondering where this conversation was leading. "You seem to have become nothing more than a hindrance to this system, so you are forcing my hand, leaving me no choice but to ensure you have the proper, shall we say, motivation to comply."

"I don't understand," she said. She could feel her pulse in her neck. 

"I know about you. And him." His eyes dragged over to Tobias. 

She looked over quickly, before focusing her attention back on David. "You can't force me to do anything, David. I have a choice. I am a free person, and I can choose to not be a part of this anymore." She'd had enough. She wasn't going to allow David, or anyone else, to force her to do anything she didn't want to do anymore. 

"Oh, but Miss Prior, can't I?" 

David pressed a button on his watch and six men appeared in the room, guns drawn; she recognized one of them as Amar. Tobias's jaw clenched as he and Matthew put their hands up. "Amar, think about what you're doing." Tobias's voice was low, threatening. 

"I'm doing my job."

"I don't think you understand how serious I am." David's tone sent a chill down her spine. "Miss Prior, I have given you chance after chance to comply with our program willingly. Now, you and Tobias have become… close. But he is GD, expendable. I can have him replaced in an instant with a hundred others just like him. Ones that won't question my authority or do whatever they can to undermine me."

"Please, don't." Tris felt herself tremble as she looked up at David. "I'll do it. Whatever you want. Just don't hurt him."

"Oh, I don't have to hurt him. I simply have to send him away." He leaned close, his mouth millimeters from her ear; she felt her insides churn. "I have seen the other cities, Miss Prior. They make the Fringe look like Abnegation." His eyes were cold as he pulled away, filling her with dread. "This is your last warning. Do I make myself clear?" Tris nodded, her face falling as her determination broke. She couldn't let Tobias be taken away. David nodded and the guards put their guns down. "Matthew, you will run tests on Miss Prior until I tell you to stop." 

Tris stood still, a million scenarios running through her mind as David and the guards left the room. When the door slammed shut her eyes found Tobias, hot tears filling them as she thought about David's threats. Tobias strode towards her, pulling her into his arms, his embrace doing little to comfort her.

"I'm sorry," she whispered into his neck. "I had to agree. I had to. I couldn't let them take you away from―" she choked on her words, pulling him closer to her. His scent, the way she felt at home in his arms as they wrapped more tightly around her, the butterflies in her stomach: she knew she would do anything to keep him out of harm's way. Things were different now, and there was no going back. 

She steeled herself as she pulled away, wiping her eyes and giving a firm nod. She reached out and squeezed his hand, taking a deep breath and turning towards Matthew. 

"Holy shit. Welcome back," Matthew said as she looked around the room. She panicked, scrambling to try and get away from him, clawing at the wires attached to her. "Tris, it's okay." Matthew took a step back, holding his hands up. She saw Tobias move out of the corner of her eye; his face was pained, but he kept his distance. 

"Is this real?" Her voice was small, her eyes flicking back and forth between the two of them.

"Yeah, Tris. It's real." She had never heard Tobias speak so softly before. She let her guard down ― slightly ― and let herself relax. She was finally convinced when her breathing and heart rate slowed down: if she was still in a sim, it would have moved on by now. 

"Okay," she whispered. Matthew moved to help her, but Tobias was inexplicably fast, pulling the remaining wires off of her and lifting her to the edge of the chair. She leaned into him, drawing from his strength, his warmth a comfort she desperately needed. 

"Go on," Matthew said from behind them. Tobias turned his head, giving him a nod. "I'll send the footage to you, Four. You can review it, if she wants." Tobias knew there was more than just reviewing that was going to take place, and the look on Matthew's face finished his thoughts for him: you two have a lot to talk about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! This was a beast of a chapter, and also happens to be the longest one in the story. I know I sort of chucked information at you guys from all directions, so I hope it wasn't too overwhelming haha. (Thank you BK, again, for putting up with my shit, and having to analyze it 94883 times.)
> 
> Now that I can type more than ldfjkdhgkal in response, how about that Allegiant trailer? I think it looks amazing, and I like what changes I am seeing. March is so far away!
> 
> And as always, many thanks to everyone who reviews and follows and favorites. It always makes my day! :D


	15. Everyone Says Yes to Something

Tobias was watchful as they made their way through the Bureau, an exhausted Tris leaning on him for support. His arm was securely anchored around her shoulder while his eyes flicked back and forth, daring anyone to comment on their close proximity. Most people ignored them; after all, it wasn't as if dating were completely prohibited or that they didn't see occasional affection here and there. But there were a few watchful eyes, ones that knew that whatever was happening between them wasn't going to be tolerated for long. Those were the people he threatened with death with a single glare. 

A loud, familiar laugh rang through the screen bank as they passed it, and Tobias's head snapped towards the sound. Briggs was laughing as he stared at them, black-eyed and nose bandaged, arrogant still despite having just been beaten by Tobias the previous night. Tobias shot him a dark look; if the asshole so much as opened his mouth, he'd be more than happy to add a few more bruises to his face. Briggs rolled his eyes and looked away, leaving Tobias to take in the scene before him. Amar was standing in front of the screens, tablet in hand. Jones and a few others were talking amongst themselves, watching the screens, and taking notes. He knew something must be happening in the city if it required their expertise. Amar looked up, and gave a subtle shake of his head. Tobias nodded in return and guided Tris towards the common room.

A part of him wanted to go back and join them, find out what was going on in the city and get back to the way things used to be: the mindless patrolling, watching the screens, doing security detail. But he knew he had reached a point in his life where that normalcy was long gone; everything was changing, and it was no longer just him. It wasn't just an innocent kiss he had shared with Tris; she was afraid of losing him, and if he was honest, he was afraid of losing her, too. It was terrifying how quickly she became his priority. He stood aside as she sat down on the couch, running events through his head, unsure where to start.

He paced back and forth, opening and closing his mouth a few times until his eyes landed on her. Her legs were pulled up, her arms wrapped around them. She looked small; too small for who she was, who he knew she could be. She was apprehensive, but he didn't blame her. None of it was easy. He wasn't sure if it ever would be.

"What now?" Her cheeks were flushed as she spoke, and it made his heart skip a beat. He knew it was a straightforward question, but he hoped for a moment that she was talking about the two of them. "What happens when they get the results?"

"I really don't know." He took a deep breath and sat. "I guess they take the data and store it. Maybe compare it to other Divergents. See if it gives them any insight into why you can do things differently, or why you're healed and others aren't." She pursed her lips and nodded. 

Tobias could understand the point of drawing blood, mapping genes, and even the brain scans; those all seemed like they would be useful to their research. But the simulations or how the different serums affected Divergents or whatever else they decided to do always seemed gratuitous. Like the Bureau was doing whatever they could think of just to make themselves feel important or to justify their way of life. Justify stealing people from their homes just to prove how right they were.

He shook his head, and felt a gentle hand on his arm. His body reacted on its own, pulling itself closer like it knew her touch, desired it even, though he had never wanted that from anyone else. He steadied himself and looked over at her; he was at a complete loss for words. There was nothing that could explain how he felt when she looked at him — like nothing in the world mattered more than he did. 

"You can tell me anything, you know." Her voice was barely above a whisper. She knew they needed to talk about what else might happen or what might be expected of her, but she wanted to forget it, even if it was only for a few moments. He pulled his arm away, quickly taking her hand when she misread his intentions. She held it tightly, squeezing once as he settled their hands between them, rubbing his thumb in small circles. Her skin was impossibly soft. 

"I know." He gave her a small smile. "It's hard sometimes. People haven't always been… accepting of what I've had to say." Her eyebrows knit together, and he let out a sigh. He stared at nothing in particular, trying to figure out where to start; he felt like there was so much to say, and not enough time to say it. 

"Your mom," she said, interrupting his thoughts. "Is she really dead?" 

"Yeah," he whispered. "She is."

"Did Marcus…" 

He nodded when she didn't finish her question. "It was her real funeral, and my fake one."

In order to quell suspicion, and to discourage others from being curious about Tobias's whereabouts after his mother’s death, the Bureau had opted to find a body similar to his and had placed it in a nearby building. Where Evelyn had been living was on the outer edges of the city, far out even for the factionless, so it had taken some time to find her body and even longer to find Tobias's. 

Tris's eyes were wide as he talked, and she found herself doubting every death she had ever heard about. Even though she'd had no knowledge of its existence until recently, her entire life had been dictated by the Bureau. She felt sick. 

"Why did you leave Abnegation?" she asked after a moment.

Tobias found himself relieved that she was asking questions; he didn't have to worry about what to say next. He didn't even mind that the focus was on him; it was easier than he thought it would be to share these parts of himself. "Marcus. The abuse. She promised me it would be better to be factionless than to live like that. She was partially right."

Tris swallowed thickly, afraid to hear the answer to her next question. "How long did it go on?" 

Tobias almost didn't hear her: she had shrunk into herself, barely looking up at him through her eyelashes. He almost laughed at his instinct to comfort her, even though he was the one reliving his worst nightmares. "The first time I remember Marcus hitting my mother, I was five, maybe six. He was yelling at her in the kitchen and I walked in there, determined to stop it. He rounded on me, and I'm sure he would have hit me then if she hadn't thrown herself between the two of us."

Tris frowned as she lifted her head. He had lived seven houses down from her, such a small distance compared to the world, and she had known nothing about it. She hated that this had been going on and nobody had been brave enough to step up and say something. Then again, it was Abnegation; the notion that someone there might actually do something besides mind their own business made her want to roll her eyes. 

"When did he start hitting you?" 

Tobias noticed that she wasn't nearly as shy as she had been a minute ago. "Around eight. I dropped a dish. He called me wasteful. Said there was no way I could be his child, as clumsy as I was. He beat me right there in the kitchen, my face pressed down into the broken porcelain." 

Tris closed her eyes, shaking her head. She _hated_ Marcus, but she was beginning to hate herself more for ever looking up to him, for thinking that he had been an amazing husband and father and leader, for respecting him for breaking factional law and hosting their funerals in the Abnegation cemetery. She opened her eyes; the look on Tobias's face made her heart flutter. She thought there was at least one good thing that came out of all of this: Tobias had learned that there was someone who cared about him. 

"Why didn't you say anything?" Tobias hung his head; her heart thumped when she realized how it came out, and quickly amended, "I didn't… I don't mean to blame you. I was just ask—"

"I know, Tris." He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. "I did, actually, in third grade. My teacher noticed I was pulling away and was exceedingly quiet, even for an Abnegation kid. She came up behind me, put her hand on my back, and I winced. She and another teacher took me out of class after lunch and inspected my back, saw the gashes. It was one of the first times he used his belt, and I hadn't learned how to hide it. When they asked, I told them everything, and that he had been hurting my mother, too. I was so relieved that I could finally help her, that I could do something to stop him: something more effective than my feeble attempts at intervening and then cowering in fear when I couldn't. I had imagined Dauntless soldiers coming and arresting him, my mother and me finally being free. But nothing happened until a week later, when the paper came out with the headline, 'Marcus Eaton: Abusive Husband and Father'."

Tris felt her stomach drop. She remembered the accusatory articles that were still being published by the Erudite. The articles that she now knew were telling the truth.

"I couldn't go to school for almost two weeks after he saw it, and my mother couldn't do anything, either. She could barely stand. Marcus told everyone we had caught a nasty bug and were being quarantined so we didn't infect anyone else. Being the leader of Abnegation clearly came with its perks, because not a single person questioned him. On my first day back to school, my teacher looked down at me and smiled, like she knew why I had really been gone. I never trusted anyone from Erudite after that." 

Tris hadn't realized how tightly she was squeezing his hand until he tried to wiggle his fingers; she lowered her legs and pulled him towards her. There was an ache, a sadness growing inside of her for all the things he had experienced. But it lessened as she pressed her body against him, feeling how her heart leapt at the chance to beat in sync with his. His arms wrapped around her, holding her against him. 

"I'm so sorry," she whispered. 

He pulled away, searching her expression intently. He shook his head slowly, leaning forward to rest it against hers. She closed her eyes. "It's not your fault, Tris."

"I know. But our faction…" She looked up, her eyes meeting his. "We failed you."

"Doesn't matter. All that matters now is this."

She pulled away, looking at the four white walls surrounding them: this _was_ all that mattered now. She didn't like the fact that her home had fallen to the wayside, that she would never see anyone inside of it again unless it was through a camera feed. And she didn't like that the Bureau could dictate what happened next with her or Tobias, or anything else for that matter.

"Why didn't they help?" she asked, and Tobias scrunched his eyebrows. "With Marcus. The Bureau had to have known he was hurting you and your mother, or at least they knew once you got here. Why didn't they make sure he was found out?"

A sad smile crossed his face. "It's their policy not to intervene in anything unless the situation becomes dire."

She stared at him, open-mouthed, then shook her head, muttering that this place was becoming more insane by the minute. "Dire? What does that even mean?" she asked, her voice rising. "An important political leader committed abuse and… and _murder,_ and thatisn't _dire_ enough for them? What? Are they just going to wait until the city turns into the Fringe before they step in?"

"Tris," he sighed, "It's not what you think. The Bureau has access to _everything_ , and every faction has a serum that was developed to help cope with things so that they don't have to." 

Her eyebrows knit together. Everyone knew about Candor's truth serum, and she'd learned at the Bureau that Dauntless has a fear serum, but she had never heard anything about Abnegation having one. Or Erudite, or Amity.

"Amity has a peace serum," Tobias started, answering her next question before she could even ask it. "Abnegation has a memory serum, and Erudite has a death serum."

"Death?" Her eyes went wide. "So, what, does Erudite just decide that someone deserves to die and they inject them with their serum? Or… or does your father decide that someone's memories should be changed? What's the purpose of that? Why have rules and laws if you can just use a serum and do whatever you want?" She threw her hands in the air. 

Tobias pursed his lips, giving Tris a moment to process before he continued. "The Bureau has used the memory serum on the city before, Tris. They decided to erase everyone's memories and make them start over."

" _What_?"

She flew off the couch, almost knocking into a chair, and began to pace back and forth, her mind reeling from yet another bombshell she couldn't have ever imagined. She stopped and closed her eyes, imagining her parents and everyone she ever knew having their lives erased because someone like David said so. She clenched her jaw and balled her fists, wishing she was in Dauntless so she could take out some of her anger.

She didn't hear him stand, but wasn't startled to feel his fingertips on her chin. Her body reacted to his already familiar touch, and leaned forward as he tipped her chin up. Her anger subsided as he brought her back to the moment. She opened her eyes to see Tobias in front of her, his eyes gazing softly into hers. 

She sighed and placed her hands on his chest, thankful for the distraction. Her fingertips left a trail of goosebumps in their wake as she trailed them up and around his neck, his own coming to rest on her waist. She wet her lips, his eyes flicking down at the movement before finding their way back, a small smile on his face. Her body was singing with the desire she felt, and the security of simply being near him. Tris stood on her toes as his arms moved around to pull her closer; their bodies aligned as if they were made for each other, and his mouth found hers. Tobias moved slowly, insistently; it came naturally to them, as though they'd kissed each other a hundred times before. She allowed herself to get lost in the moment, letting go of everything that was wrong in the world, and replacing it with everything that was right. She wanted to get lost in him forever.

He pulled away, leaving her breathless and wanting more. She leaned in again but he leaned back slightly, his hands moving to her hips, holding her in place. He knew he could spend a lifetime kissing Tris and it would never be enough, but they had to be careful. There were still rules in place. She nodded, understanding without having to be told. She gave him a soft smile before sitting back down. 

"So why did they use it?" She asked the question so casually, like the past couple of minutes didn't just take place. Her ability to seamlessly shift between her aptitudes came easier than he would have thought possible. "What was so dire that it finally made them step in?"

"The city was at war with itself," he said, sitting next to her. "All the damage in the factionless sector? It wasn't always like that."

"Why?"

"That I don't know, I was just told it happened." Their conversation was interrupted by Tobias's watch beeping. 

"Go for Four."

"You got a minute? I need you to come to the office." Amar's tone let Tobias know that something was wrong.

"Copy."

He stood, turning to look at Tris. "Sorry. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Go ahead." 

"You know, this is probably going to happen more frequently. They're going to want me to start getting back to work, and they'll want to find something for you to do, too."

"I know." She couldn't imagine what job they could offer her to make her happy, considering she was beginning to think that she really didn't belong at the Bureau at all. "Go," she said, sensing his hesitation. He gave her one last smile before leaving. 

Tobias walked briskly past the screen bank. His colleagues were nowhere in sight, but there were a few extra people sitting around the screens, presumably to monitor whatever was happening. He walked into the security room to find Amar alone.

"Hey," he said over his shoulder. Tobias could see he was watching feed from the Fringe. 

"What's going on?"

"I wanted to talk to you in private." Amar turned the screen off, turning his chair to face Tobias. "David's been on a rant lately."

"About?"

Amar gave him a pointed look. "You know exactly what about."

Tobias sighed. "What the hell is he expecting? She just went through sims. If he quits bitching long enough to look at the footage, I guarantee he'll be in a better mood."

Amar narrowed his eyes. “How’d she do?”

“Better than you and me.”

Amar nodded his head slowly. Tobias knew there was more he wanted to say; Amar was simply stalling, formulating the right words and preparing to scrutinize Tobias’s reaction like always. He steeled himself, determined to not give anything away. 

"Things are a little weird in the city,” he started. It took Tobias by surprise. “It seems as though your father has been taking secret trips to Erudite. He's been meeting with Jeanine."

Tobias's hands balled into fists instinctively. "How long has this been going on?"

"Not sure. We've known for a few weeks, maybe a month. Any ideas?"

"How the hell should I know?" 

Amar raised his hands in defense. "I'm just asking. I think David is paranoid. He's been talking about putting a detail in to try and get close to Jeanine. We've got as many cameras on her as possible and we still know nothing. Between her and your father, hell, even Therese riling the factionless up lately by telling them to go places they've never been before, something's up. Paranoid or not, you know David isn't going to ignore it."

Tobias wanted to tell Amar that he was wrong, that he didn't know what he was talking about, but he could feel the truth of Amar's words resonating deep inside of him. Just before they pulled Tris out, Marcus had begun disappearing for hours on end, with nothing to account for his whereabouts. Whatever was happening, if it involved his father, then it surely was a move to keep what power he had. Or to obtain more, somehow. 

"So what's the plan?" Tobias asked.

"For now, we're still going to watch. But if he wants to plant someone in the city, you know he's going to ask her."

"Why? He could choose any one of us who've never been there. It's Erudite, pick one of the damned scientists." Tobias's voice was slowly rising. He, too, had been offered the choice of going back into the city to relay information a few years after he had arrived, but he had declined. He had known he wouldn't be able to blend in or adapt. But Tris, he was learning, was a chameleon; she could hide anywhere. 

"I'm just giving you a heads-up. You know David's going to want to pull her in close, treat her like his pet." Amar was quiet for a moment, mulling things over in his head. "She's not like you and me, is she?” Tobias shook his head. “Well, you know that, and now I know that, and David’s going to know that very soon. He's going to offer her something, even if it isn't this, so you might want to throw it out there and see how she reacts." 

"And if she says no?" 

Amar shrugged. "Everyone says yes to something."

"Have you talked to George?" Tobias asked, deflecting the topic off of Tris and trying to assuage the guilt gnawing at the back of his mind.

"Last night. Why?"

"He say anything?" Amar raised his eyebrows and Tobias sighed. "Is he still out wherever he is?"

"Omaha. And yeah, why?"

Tobias didn't have much of a chance to debate if he wanted to spill what he saw: Amar stood up, crossing his arms over his chest. Even though he was at least five inches shorter than Tobias, Amar was intimidating when he felt threatened. Tobias conceded with a subtle nod. 

"He was here. Saw him talking with David. It just struck me as odd since I thought he wasn't coming back for a few weeks."

"He told me he was coming back early, but that he still had a week of travel and we wouldn't be able to talk." Amar chewed on the inside of his cheek. 

"Maybe it's nothing," Tobias tried to reassure, but Amar's eyes snapped to his; they were full of hurt and betrayal. "He and David were exchanging pieces of paper. Any idea what that could be?" He decided to just go for it. If Amar was feeling hurt, he might let something slip. 

"Probably just data."

"Amar, you've been here for what, almost two years now?" Amar nodded. "When have you ever seen anyone exchange data on paper?"

He watched Amar carefully, trying to judge what his reaction would be. Amar deflated slightly, his arms coming to rest on his sides. He was lost in thought for a moment, before shaking his head. "Thank you, Four." Amar gave him a tight smile and sat back down. Tobias hesitated a moment, not quite sure what to do, but decided not to push Amar any further. He felt guilty for hurting his friend, but if George was lying, it was better that Amar knew. He left and made his way back to Tris, who was curled up on the couch, tablet in hand. 

"It made a noise," she said, holding it up a little. "Matthew sent my simulation footage."

Tobias nodded and sat next to her. "And?"

"And… it's kind of crazy. There were only six of them. I swear it felt like there were more. And it only took me twenty-six minutes to get through them. How is that even possible? Some of them felt like they went on for hours."

She flipped through some of the videos, watching, analyzing. A few were straightforward, while others were a little more confusing to her. She got to the last one and her eyes flicked up to Tobias; he was watching her intently. 

"Want to talk about it?" 

"No," she answered quickly. "What did Amar want?"

"Stop deflecting," he countered just as fast. "You should talk—"

"I have been talking." 

He sighed as she stood up, setting the tablet on the table. She stretched; his eyes drank in the way her back arched, and the thin strip of skin that was exposed as her shirt lifted. He unwillingly dragged his eyes up when she put her arms down to find her eyes were locked onto him, too. 

"Fine," she whispered. "Let's take a walk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up. I will continue with my normal Tues/Fri posting next week, even though it will be a crazy holiday weekend for most of us!
> 
> And as always, thank you for all your kind reviews. They are nowhere near done talking, obviously, so consider this chapter your appetizer. :P


	16. Realizations and Revelations

Tris wasn't sure where she wanted to go, she just knew it was anywhere not surrounded by four plain white walls. Too much was happening, and it felt wrong to stay somewhere they didn't have to be. Not while she still had a choice, anyway. She didn't get much of a reaction from Matthew or Tobias after her simulations, but she could tell from the small glances they shared, their careful tones, and Matthew's eager note attached to her simulation footage that it was something that was going to make her stand out even more.

She wove through the compound, tablet in hand and Tobias by her side. She always felt safe, confident, and cared for when she was with him. While they were mostly foreign feelings to her, she knew that she didn't want to experience another day in her life feeling any differently. She glanced over at him, a small smile on her face. His eyes were focused forward, but he sensed her movement, responding instantly with a smile of his own. He smiled even wider when she rushed ahead of him, opening the door and running out into the warm daylight. 

He took off after her, easily catching up as she ran through the overgrown grass, the wind blowing her long hair all around. She let out a light laugh; he felt it resonate deep inside him, grabbing hold of everything he was and threatening to never let go. It had startled him the first time it happened, when he felt hope and wonder begin to radiate when she was around. But the more it happened, the more he craved the lightheartedness he felt when he was with her. His thoughts raced as his feet slowed; Tris turned when she noticed he wasn't keeping up, a wide grin on her face. 

It came together, slowly at first, as he looked at her. But as each thought, each feeling wove into one unified entity, he came to a staggering, inescapable conclusion: he was in love with her. He stood there, his mouth hanging open slightly, as the revelation slammed into him, leaving him shaken and flustered. He realized how panicked he must look when her smile faded away as she watched him; he snapped his mouth shut and cleared his throat.

"What is it, Tobias? What's wrong?" she asked, concerned.

"Nothing," he replied, his heart hammering against his ribcage. He drew in a deep breath to calm his churning mind and emotions. He needed to get himself under control and focus — he was there to help her with her fear sim footage, not to get lost in his own thoughts and feelings.

He walked past her towards one of the larger trees within the gates and sat down, the coolness of the shade a welcome relief. She hesitated for a moment before joining him; she was quiet at first as she stared back at the compound. But he could see the wheels working inside of her head: the way she bit her lower lip or slightly puckered them both to the right side of her mouth, her brows knitting together, then apart. He gave off an amused chuckle. 

"Go on," he said, pulling her attention to him. "Let it all out." 

She gave him a soft smile. "Most of it is straightforward, really. My family, my home. I don't want to lose those things."

She sighed as she tapped on the tablet and opened the first video, watching herself struggle against the ropes and remembering the feel of the sun searing her flesh, the rope cutting into her skin. She looked over her shoulder when it ended; the fields surrounding the Bureau were almost identical to those in her fear. "Being trapped. Or alone," she mumbled, turning her attention back to the tablet. It briefly crossed her mind that her statement could be taken in more than one way. "Maybe being somewhere I would never be found."

"Maybe. It's not a far stretch to think that if you died here, nobody in the city would really know what happened to you. That's not your body in that grave; it really would be like you never existed." 

Tris closed her eyes, fighting the sting of oncoming tears. "My mom suspects, though," she said, wiping at them.

"Yeah, but suspecting and knowing are two different things."

"I wish I had a way to let her know. I wonder if she would try to come get me." 

Tobias was silent, giving her the time she needed to work through her thoughts. He hated that his mind turned to his own father, wondering if Marcus ever suspected the same, or if he even cared.

After some time, she tapped to see the next video, and they watched her fumble around in the fog, unable to get to her parents or Caleb no matter how hard she tried. "I hated giving up," she said, watching herself curl into a ball. "But I knew it was pointless to keep trying. They weren't really there. It hurt, so much." Tobias's eyes were glued to her as she lowered her head, shaking it back and forth. "If something were to happen, I couldn't get to them, either." 

Tris let out a strangled sob and held her head in her hands; she didn't cry long, considering there wasn't anything she could do about either situation. There was no way for her mother to get out of the city even if she were able to get a message to her, and she was stuck in the Bureau. Tris never thought she would miss those nights when they would sit around the living room as a family, her mother knitting, her father reading the paper, and she and Caleb playing a game where they had to trap the other's thumb. She sniffled and wiped her cheeks, knowing that those days were gone forever.

Tobias looked away when her hand hovered over the tablet, hesitating before tapping the next one. He could feel her shift next to him, their arms brushing up against each other as she fidgeted, and he could see her occasional glances at the screen out of the corner of his eye. This was one of the harder ones for him to watch, so he couldn't even imagine her wanting to relive the fear she had gone through. He took the tablet from her.

"This one is pretty straightforward," he said, angling it away from her. He could see the man pawing at her, touching her in a way he shouldn't. His stomach churned when she began fighting for her freedom.

"Could that really happen? Could our home end up like the Fringe?"

Tobias shook his head. "I don't know. I want to tell you that it can't, Tris, but I've seen pictures of other cities that used to be experiments. Some of them seemed to function just fine, but others…" he trailed off, chewing on the inside of his cheek. The truth was that some of the cities looked far worse than the Fringe. She nodded, clearly shaken by the horrors she was imagining. "It would probably take a long time, even if it did." He tried to sound reassuring as he held the tablet out to her.

"Why did the other experiments fail?"

"The lack of factions. At least that's what David says. Without some sort of shared goal, things just devolved right back into chaos. The factions are there to provide focus and, more importantly, time for things to heal."

"How long _has_ it been?"

"School told us hundreds of years, but I've looked and never found a solid answer." 

Tris nodded her head, running her teeth over her lip as she took the tablet back and tapped the next video. Her curiosity was short-lived; she clenched her jaw as she watched David yell at her, blaming her for lying and being the cause of the destruction of everything she knew and loved. She knew she was not a failure, though. There were other cities that she'd never had anything to do with that had already failed. 

Tobias stiffened next to her, catching her attention. "David's an ass," he said. "You are not the problem."

"I know. I'm just one person. This is so much bigger than me, and you, and even the Bureau. Whatever it is that makes me different, I don't know that it's the answer to the questions he's asking. I mean, what's going to happen when he finally realizes that I'm just… _me_? Will he be angry? Will he blame me for everything?"

"No, Tris. Nothing's going to happen. He'll just have to deal with it like he's done before. You're not the first one." Tobias tried to convince himself that he was right, but the truth was there was only so much he could do. David was in charge; if he wanted to lock Tris up and do experiments on her, he was all but powerless to stop him.

The small amount of confidence she possessed faded completely once she tapped on the next video. Her shoulders sagged as she watched the frail, emaciated version of herself struggle to make sense of what was happening. She had thought she looked thin from her angle inside of the sim, but seeing herself from the outside was even worse. The ache of her underused limbs, the needles inside of her veins, the wires tugging against her paper-thin skin as she tried to move; watching it brought back all of the pain she had felt. She shuddered, the warm day no longer enough to keep the chill from spreading throughout her.  

Tris let her fear take hold of her — only for a moment — and she wondered what would happen to her if they were to actually turn her into the lab rat she imagined herself to be in the sim, if she were to actually die at the Bureau. She reached out and took Tobias's hand, squeezing it as hard as she could. His hand was warm as it wrapped around hers, giving her a different kind of strength as she watched herself break free from her confinement, charging the glass. She was thankful for it as he squeezed back.  

"If anything ever did happen to me, you wouldn't forget me, would you?" She said it softly, thinking of how everyone she had ever cared about already believed she was dead and had moved on. She looked up into his deep blue eyes, trying to find in them the reassurance that she was important to him, that he truly cared about what happened to her. Tobias ran his thumb over her hand slowly and whispered, "Never, Tris."

She fell silent again as she tapped the last video. Watching herself beg David to not harm Tobias, agreeing to do whatever he wanted in exchange for his safety, made her heart feel like it was being torn in two. Experiencing this fear had made her finally admit to herself that she liked him more than she had ever thought herself capable of liking anyone.  

There wasn't a need to say anything out loud; he could see for himself how much she cared, but she spoke anyway. "It's sort of weird, isn't it, that on Choosing Day we have to make such life-altering choices when we know next to nothing about them? If we choose to stay, we never get a chance to experience anything different, and if we choose to leave, we're expected to forget everyone and everything we have ever known and cared about. It doesn't feel like much of a choice when you're always going to lose something or someone." Her eyes drifted up to Tobias. "There are far worse things than not being remembered. My mother, my father, my brother… I don't know what I would do if I lost anyone else."

He could hear the sadness in her voice, feel the heavy implication of her words. He had never really thought about relationships before, at least not positively; his few awkward experiences had been failures, and he had blamed himself. But Tris coming into his life had made him understand just how wrong he was. In the few short weeks they had been together, they had formed a bond that was stronger than anything he had ever known. He would do anything for her, the same way he was certain she would do anything for him. 

He clenched his jaw; even if it wasn't specifically laid out in his landscape, he knew he shared her same fear. "I'm not gonna let that happen, either."

She watched him for just a moment — the heavy rise and fall of his chest and the way his eyes roamed her face before looking directly into hers — and moved even closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder. When his arm came around her, she nestled her face into the crook of his neck and whispered his name. Her breath on his skin sent a shiver through his body. He pulled her closer, shifting her body so she curled into him. Her arms snaked around him, holding on tight. She wanted to get lost in him again: the press of his body against hers, the taste of his lips, the heat she could feel rising up within herself. 

After a few moments of contentment, she sighed and turned her thoughts back to her predicament. She had spent too much time ignoring what was right in front of her and pretending it would all go away. This was her life now, and she had to figure out how to deal with it.

"So, what now? I know I keep asking that question, but it's the one thing that keeps coming to my mind, especially after this." She motioned towards the tablet. "It's going to change David's expectations, isn't it?"

"Yes. But whatever he wants, you don't have to do it, Tris. Tell him no."

"Then what? I mean, it's not like I can go home, Tobias. Is there even anything else here for me?" Her words hit him like a punch to the stomach and he pulled away from her sharply. 

Tris's eyes widened as he scooted away; she stopped him from standing by planting her hands firmly on his shoulders, her fingers squeezing him back in place. "That's not what I meant. I just—"

"It might not be what you meant, but it's what you said," he snapped. His face was blank, masking the rising panic and doubt he was feeling about having opened up to her. He should have known it was a mistake to trust; she must not feel for him the same things he felt for her.

She let out a loud breath, trusting that if she took her hands off his shoulders, he wouldn't take off. "Tobias, what I meant is that I can't simply hang onto you every day. I need… something more. You had an entire life here before me. Am I just supposed to tag along to the Fringe when I don't even know how to hold a gun? Or be dragged out to the cities and wait in the van for you to come back?"

"Tris—"

"No. I still need to form my own life. I still need to find out what it is that I'm good at. I need…"

"You need to do it alone." His statement was matter-of-fact, but she could see him retreating inside himself; he averted his eyes and shifted away from her slightly, his body tense and rigid.

"No!" She shook her head quickly. "That is not what I'm saying at all. I can do it with you. I _want_ to do it with you. But I need to figure out how to do it on my own, too. I need… I need to find a purpose. Something more than just being born with healed genes." 

His posture softened, and he gave her a short nod, reminding himself of how strong she was, and that he shouldn't be surprised by her determination. Selfishly, he was also relieved to hear her say that she wanted him around. 

"Tobias, I… I really don't know what I'm doing," she admitted, letting out a rueful laugh. 

He sighed, and gave her a small smile in return. "Here's a little secret, Tris: nobody really knows what the hell they're doing." 

"Well, as long as I'm not alone."

"You're definitely not alone." He reached out and took one of her hands in his, idly rubbing circles with his thumb. She wasn't sure if it was meant to comfort him or her, but she liked that he seemed to always do it. His watch beeped and he let out a groan; she smiled. 

"Four."

"Hey. Where are you?" Matthew said, leaning in close on his end. "Are you… _outside_?"

Tobias rolled his eyes. "Yes."

"Oh. Well then, stop by when you get a chance. I need to talk to Tris."

"Copy." He looked up at her and let out a loud breath. "See? Never alone." 

Tris laughed and leaned into Tobias, pausing just before making contact. "Well, we're alone now." Her lips brushed against his; he visibly inhaled, holding his breath as she softly pressed her lips to his, keeping them there for only a moment. Tris pulled away and nervously awaited his reaction; he raised an eyebrow suggestively and gave her a lopsided grin, impressed and excited by her newfound boldness. "Come on," she said, standing. "Let's go see what Matthew wants."

"Perfect," Matthew said when he opened his door. "Just the girl I was looking for." Tris rolled her eyes but gave him a shy smile as she sat down in front of his desk. He nudged her on the shoulder and snagged the tablet out of her hand as he walked by, only stopping his playful banter when he saw the look on Four's face. He cleared his throat as he sat. 

"I didn't want to send this with instructions, but I was able to hide the information where you can access it without being traced, just in case. A bunch of our servers went offline years ago, and I volunteered to help check them out with some of the tech guys. I lied and said one of them was dead, and they had a replacement brought in. The original is still there, hidden but running. I made sure it wasn't attached to anything that belongs to the Bureau." Tris raised an eyebrow. "Here, look." 

He typed on his computer and sat patiently until the tablet in his hand dinged. He handed it to Tris, who opened it to reveal a long article on genes and the Bureau. She looked up at him after skimming it over and shrugged her shoulders. 

"Page two, fifth paragraph down." Tris scrolled until she found it. "The third word in is…"

"Matthew," she said, looking back up at him.

"Touch it." She smiled and touched his name. The page disappeared for a moment, only to be replaced by a long list of dates. "Each one of those files is a letter, stored securely where no one can access it but you." 

Tris tapped the first one: a handwritten letter showed up next to the link. She tapped it again, making it larger, devouring her mother's handwriting and thoughts as fast as she could. She could feel the lump rising in her throat, her emotions already high as she anticipated what she was about to experience.

"Geneticist by day, computer hacker by night," Tobias said teasingly. 

"Eh, I get bored easily. Sorry there isn't more, Tris."

"No, it's okay. Thank you." She pulled the tablet close to her chest, forcing a weak smile. 

Matthew tilted his head, watching her for a moment. "It's my pleasure," he finally said. "I'm still working on the other stuff. I think I might be able to find the test results for Indianapolis faster than anything else."

"Well, it's a start. It will at least tell us if there's something worth looking into or not," Tobias said. They stood and Matthew rushed to hold the door open for them. Tris slipped by quietly, her eyes focused on the floor. 

"Do you think I could have some time with this?" she asked when she and Tobias were alone in the hallway. 

"Tris, you don't need to ask." He looked at his watch. "I'm not really hungry. You want to just skip lunch together and meet back up for dinner?" She nodded and gave him a small smile before turning and walking away. 

Tobias watched her; he was no stranger to needing alone time, but he disliked the way her mood had shifted. He wanted to be there for her, especially through the hard times. He took a deep breath and walked back into Matthew's office after she rounded the corner, disappearing from his sight. 

"What's on your mind, Four?" he asked as Tobias sat down.

"Do you know George Wu?" he asked. He really wanted to talk about Tris and everything that was happening, but at the same time he didn't want to have Matthew in the middle of it. 

"Sounds familiar."

"He travels the cities. Takes reports and gathers information for the Bureau."

"Ahh, yes. What about him?"

"You ever see any of the reports he files?"

Matthew began typing on his computer. Tobias was amazed at how fast he spun his monitor, a long list of files in front of him. He tapped the last one: it was from the trip George was currently on in Omaha. It listed different demographics like male-to-female ratios, adult-to-child ratios, random blood sample results, and violent crimes witnessed, with links to view the specifics. Nothing struck him as out of the ordinary. 

"Something there?" Matthew asked.

"No. But that's just it. I feel like there is."

"I can help you comb through it," he said. "I've got nothing better to do right now. I'm stalling on sending Tris's simulation analysis to David." The corner of Tobias's mouth lifted. 

Tris only knew of a few areas around the compound where she could be alone, and the common room wasn't somewhere she was interested in being right now. She wandered, getting lost once, until she found herself in front of the little room near Erudite. She turned the handle on the door, pleased to find it unlocked and empty. 

She walked around for a moment, glancing at the various things that were in the room before stopping in front of the old maps. She looked at the one that showed more than just Chicago: it was labeled Illinois, and if it weren't for the marsh — called Lake Michigan on the map — she would have never found her home. Somewhere in that small dot, she spent her entire sixteen years completely ignorant of the world around her. It didn't just make her feel insignificant anymore, it made her feel hopeless. 

She found where she had sat when she visited with Tobias and took a deep breath, calming her nerves before sitting down and opening up her mother's letters. They started out innocently enough, and her enthusiasm for Dauntless and the mission she was on was infectious. Tris was smiling, her spirits soaring with every word she read, reliving the life her mother had lived through her own descriptions. 

That happiness was short-lived; the dates on the letters grew further apart, the tone more detached. Her mother never mentioned her specific mission, but whatever it was, it was being put aside for her father. They had met and fallen in love, and her plans to transfer to Erudite fell to the wayside. Tris was startled by the knowledge at first, then thought about why David would want her mother in Erudite and how different her life might have been had she been born into that faction. 

She could tell by her mother's reactions that David wasn't happy, and she could understand why Matthew thought the two of them might have had some kind of relationship before she left. She pushed aside the thought that her mother had ever seen anything desirable in David; she certainly didn't, and was grateful her mother had chosen to leave the Bureau.

The later dates were no longer handwritten; they became formal, typed correspondences, occurring after she transferred out of Dauntless. Tris thought it was odd, considering Abnegation would be one of the places with just minimal technology. The letters were impersonal, informative, and gave only the barest information, most of which she didn't understand. It wasn't until she read one of the last letters that she broke down; in it, her mother revealed she was pregnant with Caleb. 

Tris let the tears fall, the pain of missing her family cutting deep. She might have hated Caleb before for leaving her parents behind to grieve, but she couldn't hate him now: she had left them, too. She wiped her eyes with the hem of her shirt, getting through the last few letters, until her mother cut off all communication with David. Tris didn't blame her; she could tell from her responses that David was trying to make her feel guilty for choosing to live her own life instead of the one the Bureau wanted for her. Tris had never been more proud of her mother for standing up for herself. She might have been the perfect Abnegation on the outside, but she thought her mother's short time in Dauntless had given her the courage to do what she felt was right. 

She flipped through the letters again, trying to pinpoint when it was that her parents fell in love. Tris couldn't tell exactly, but the dates told her that it couldn't have been more than a couple of months after her mother had arrived. Tobias came to mind and her neck flushed hotly; her mind seemed to drift towards him a lot lately. She stared off for a moment at the screen in front of her, recalling the small piece of himself he had revealed to her here, and smiled. Tris tapped on the screen, hoping to find a song she could tie to this memory just as Tobias had done.

She didn't have the first clue what she was doing, but after a while, she found herself looking at a picture of a woman with fire-red hair. She tapped on it, stilling when music began to play. She liked the simple melody, and the woman's voice even more as she began to sing. Tris closed her eyes, swaying to the rhythm as she listened. There was passion flowing from every word, a fire burning within this woman that spoke directly to Tris on every level. She felt that fire throughout her, building into an unstoppable blaze. It was perfect, and it evoked something deep within her as she sat there, something that made her want to stand up and shout at the top of her lungs. She scooped up the tablet when the song finished, and set out to find Tobias.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Run fast for your mother run fast for your father  
> Run for your children for your sisters and brothers  
> Leave all your love and your longing behind  
> You can't carry it with you if you want to survive
> 
> -Dog Days are Over - Florence + The Machine
> 
> Tris's song. We went through a couple, but we agreed that this one would start a fire in her. Thanks BK, and for your never-ending Beta job, too. :P
> 
> Just another reminder, I will be posting this Friday. I know the holidays are usually nuts for people, so no worries if you don't get around to reading it. I'll post another reminder next Tuesday lol. Hope you all have a nice holiday weekend, and eat all the food! As always, thank you for your reviews!


	17. Taking Down the Walls

She had no idea where Tobias might be, so Tris headed back to Matthew, hoping he would know. She knocked, swaying back and forth on her feet until he answered.

"Hey," she said as she walked in, pausing for a moment when she saw Tobias.

"You okay?" he asked, standing immediately. She hadn't been gone nearly as long as he had thought she would be, and her cheeks were rosy.

"Yeah," she said, brushing off his concern and gesturing for Matthew to lock the door. "I just had an idea."

Tobias sat back down, and she took the chair next to him. His eyes roamed over her, searching for any indication of what might have brought her back so wild-eyed and determined. He had to admit that he liked seeing that fire back in her; she was entirely too spirited to be kept down.

"Did you find something?" She interrupted his thoughts as she scanned Matthew's desk. There were a number of piles and assorted loose papers scattered between him and Tobias, many highlighted in various colors.

"Not what we were looking for," Matthew answered, pushing a pile towards her, "But yes."

She raised an eyebrow and picked it up, scanning the highlighted portions. She glanced at both Matthew and Tobias, then leaned forward, taking another pile to look it over. "They're all identical," she said, grabbing another pile to confirm her suspicions. "They have different dates, but the same numbers. What exactly does that mean?"

"It means," Tobias said, "That we're being lied to."

Her whole reason for finding Tobias was pushed aside as she helped them dive into the paperwork. They marked and sorted together, Matthew stopping every now and then to explain to her the different things the Bureau tests and records data on when they visit the outside cities. In the past few years, physical paperwork had been done away with, and everything was now being sent directly to David electronically; he in turn sent it on to the government agency which had oversight of them.

Tris had to pause to wrap her head around things a few times; the idea of a larger government had never really crossed her mind. She shook her head, smiling to herself because she was still stuck thinking of things in too small of a box; it was time to expand her point of view.

"Okay," Matthew said, stretching his back after being hunched over his desk for so long, "We've printed and combed through almost four years' worth of missions and found only thirteen different groupings of repeating data. So, they're either lying about going out there to collect data, or they're falsifying the data they're collecting."

"Are you sure?" Tobias asked.

"One hundred percent. Statistically speaking, the probability of all these variables bearing such close resemblance to each other based on the sample sizes used, the time span involved, and the number of tests performed? Nearly zero. I mean, we've found more differences than that just within the people tested at the compound and the Fringe."

"How come nobody has noticed?" Tris asked.

Matthew shook his head. "The Bureau is a sort of hub of its own. All information for the surrounding areas is bound to this location. There are a handful of other hub-like facilities scattered throughout the country, but being that Chicago is still an active experiment, most of the information from those facilities also comes directly here for comparison."

"So we're at the center of it all," Tris muttered, "And then David relays the information to the government."

"Exactly. He could tell them anything he wanted, and they'd believe him."

Tris sighed. She tapped her fingers on Matthew's desk, her reason for coming here making its way to the front of her mind. "While I was reading my mother's letters, I had a thought." Tobias's head snapped over to her, his eyes conveying the uneasiness he was already feeling. "She was close to David, and he trusted her. He told her secrets and gave her a special mission. Why couldn't I do the same thing? Four, even you said you thought David would treat me differently after this. I mean, if he thinks I'm so special, he'll want me around, right? It might be our best chance."

"Tris..."

"So, let's use it to our advantage," she continued, ignoring Tobias's warning tone. "Let him put me somewhere. If people with pure genes are placed in higher positions, I would imagine he'd want someone like me in a really important position. Maybe I can gain access to places you guys can't, or—"

"No." Tobias stood, trying to ignore the fear that was building inside him. "No way. You don't know what he'll want you to do."

"Four," she said, rising as well. "I'm new here, remember? I can ask a lot of questions under the guise of ignorance. I can get us information."

He paced back and forth, but Tobias knew she was right: between Matthew's computer skills and Tris questioning David, they could probably find out _something_. He didn't know what they would do with the information once they found it, but he knew it was better than being lied to. He stopped pacing to look at Tris; her face was set in stone, a hand on her hip as she stared up at him. He could beg her not to do it — he definitely thought about it — but it was clear she had already made her mind up.

"Fine," he sighed. He gave her a tight smile that did little to hide his reluctance.

Matthew just looked between the two of them, trying to decide if they had figured out that they liked each other yet. "I could probably speed it up, if you're sure," he said, breaking the small amount of tension in the room.

"How?" Tris asked, turning to face Matthew.

"Easy. I haven't sent David the analysis of your sim footage yet."

Matthew smiled. His fingers flew across the keyboard, tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth as he concentrated. Tris could feel Tobias's stare from beside her, burning into the side of her head. She was hesitant to look at him; she knew how easily he could be her undoing. She swallowed thickly, turning to see him locked onto her. His eyes roamed, taking in every last inch of her face before finding her eyes. He held her gaze until Matthew turned his screen towards them.

"I embellished a little," he said, his mouth turning up in one corner as they both sat down to read it over.

"Well, why don't you just add in that I can fly," Tris said, raising an eyebrow at Matthew. "Seriously, you don't think it's a little too much?"

"Nah. It's not _really_ lying. I just shaved a few minutes off your time, which will probably happen anyway if you go through it again; he won't pay enough attention to notice the discrepancy. I played up your manipulation skills, your ability to recognize it was a sim, and the fact that you only had six fears — oh, congratulations, by the way. That's an accomplishment in and of itself." He grinned. "Four and Six," he said, pointing at each of them as he tried out the new nicknames. "Almost perfectly usable code names."

Tobias rolled his eyes. "Are you sure?" he said, turning his attention back to Tris. "If we agree to start this, I don't know if we'll be able to back out."

"I'm sure." She looked between Matthew's and Tobias's stares; it had been a while since they hovered over her, making sure she was alright. She smirked, feeling a little nostalgic. "I'll be fine, really," she reassured. Her words didn't stop her heart from beating a little faster as Matthew pressed 'send'.

 

* * *

 

 

She was surprised it took David until the next day to send Zoe after her. Tris and Tobias started their day normally, waking early and working out. It hadn't been very long, but she could feel herself getting stronger and she didn't tire as easily. The bag moved a little farther every day as she punched and kicked, Tobias's encouragements pushing her harder. Her confidence was growing, and she was certain if the situation ever arose, she had enough experience to defend herself.

Tobias wiped his forehead with his arm, watching as she walked to the cabinets after their workout, pulling a few knives out. "I should be familiar with at least one weapon," she said. She felt him pass behind her, grabbing a few knives for himself. Tris took a step back, looking over her shoulder as he passed back by. She didn't know how to describe her pull towards him; it was magnetic, instinctive. She smiled when he looked back at her, too, before focusing her attention on the target.

Zoe was beaming when she found them in the cafeteria, wishing everyone around them a beautiful day before singing a salutation to each one of them. "As soon as you finish, David wishes to have a word with the two of you." She pointed at Tris and Tobias, before spinning in place and skipping out of the cafeteria.

"Looks like someone upped their dose of peace serum," Matthew quipped; Tobias snorted.

"Does it really make you like… _that_?" Tris asked, motioning towards the door Zoe just exited.

"Only if you take too much. Don't worry. She'll come down in a few hours and only be mildly irritating."

Unable to really discuss anything in the crowded cafeteria, they took their time, enjoying what they imagined to be their last moments of normalcy; going through with their plan had the potential to change everything. Tris scooted closer to Tobias, her forearm resting on the table against his; she ducked her head, blushing slightly when Matthew winked at her. It shouldn't have surprised her that he would notice. "Well," he said, looking between the two of them, "Shall we get started?"

Tris was nervous as she walked down the halls with Tobias. She knew that pursuing her idea was the right decision, but that knowledge didn't make it any easier. She took a deep breath to try and calm her nerves, reminding herself that if her mother could do it, then so could she.

Tobias gently grabbed her wrist, pulling her to a stop. "If something feels wrong, you can always say no," he said.

"I know."

"No, Tris, I mean it. I don't want you to feel like you _have_ to do this. It's not worth it to risk…" He trailed off, his eyes drifting behind her as his thumb began rubbing circles on her wrist. His eyes found hers. "Only you are in charge of you. We can always find another way." She was amazed by how he could make her feel so important, so cared for, in so few words. She gave him a quick nod before continuing on.

"Ahh, Miss Prior," David said as they entered. "Allow me to begin by saying that I cannot thank you enough for your cooperation. Things may have started off a little rocky, but the information you have provided us will, without a doubt, be seen as invaluable to future generations. Please, won't you sit." He gestured to the seat in front of his desk, a wide smile plastered on his face. His genuinely nice façade brought her fear to the front of her mind; she took the seat, trying to shake it off.

"And I must thank you, too, Four, but I think we can handle it from here. You can speak to Amar and resume your normal duties."

"Sir—"

"Thank you." David looked up at Tobias, his smile completely gone. Tris saw a flash of something behind his eyes; the difference between how he spoke to her and Tobias was palpable.

She turned to face Tobias, knowing that he wouldn't go unless she made him. "Thank you, Four. I appreciate everything you have done to help me get settled." She smiled. His eyes flicked between the two of them before he gave her a firm nod, spinning on his heel to leave them alone.

Tobias strode through the halls, fuming. He had hoped he would have been allowed to stay for their first meeting to assess the situation. And there was another, smaller part that hoped David saw more in him than just being her escort — that he could trust him on more than just issues regarding security and keeping the Bureau safe — but it seemed as though David didn't value anything he had to say about Tris. David had completely written him off; he wouldn't even have her if Tobias hadn't forced him to give her another look. He stopped short, getting looks from the people who had to go around him in the hall. He glared back, shooting some of his hatred for both David and himself at them, as it dawned on him what was really making him angry: Tris wouldn't be in the position she was in if it weren't for him. He stood there for a moment before heading to see Amar.

"Now, Beatrice—"

"It's Tris, now." She smiled when he didn't respond right away.

"Yes, of course. Changes are to be expected, and I appreciate you doing what you feel you need to do to fit in. However, if I'm being frank, I'm at a bit of a loss on where to place you."

She wasn't sure how to reply. He narrowed his eyes just enough for her to wonder if he was testing her. "I'm still not familiar with everything around the compound. Maybe if you told me what you were thinking, we could figure it out, together."

"Four didn't inform you of everything?"

"No," she said quickly. "No, he was fine. I know my way around and have a general idea of everything that goes on, but I have a feeling that he doesn't know even a fraction of what you know. He is just security, after all."

A snarl formed over David's teeth; it made her stomach turn. She was right that David viewed Tobias as a lesser being. She returned his smile, though, needing to sell her superiority above everything else.

They spent the morning talking about finding her housing, how they would continue her schooling depending on where she was placed, and the various positions he had in mind for her. The most important one he mentioned would put her in training to be a part of his council. While it could take years to accomplish, it was her best chance at getting in close, so she steered David in that direction. His questions to her were direct, her answers expected to be the same. Yet her questions to him were answered just vaguely enough that she was always left needing more. While it helped play into her naïve newcomer persona, it wasn't really gaining her anything new.

"I have a serious question, David, and I would appreciate an honest answer."

"Of course, Tris."

"I really want to know what makes me so different. I mean _besides_ my genes."

It was a power-play move, forcing him to open up to her if he wanted to gain her favor. He sat forward, elbows on his desk, his fingers tented up in front of him. She was more apprehensive than she had ever been; she didn't know if he would answer, and she wasn't sure if she really wanted to hear what he would say.

"It's a bit… complicated," he started. "But it really does come down to your genes, plain and simple. Your healed genes tell me that you won't lie or cheat or steal, and that you don't have the desire to harm anyone. You are everything they cannot be." Tris had to work hard to maintain an impassive expression; David had no idea how much she wanted to hurt him for thinking that Tobias was incapable of being a good person simply because of his DNA.

He sighed, continuing on when she didn't respond. "Those that are damaged cannot be trusted; their values are unpredictable and ever-changing. We are generous enough to employ them, yes, but we have to keep a close eye on them. What's to prevent them from, say, harming someone? There have been plenty of arguments here at the Bureau between the genetically damaged, with violence almost always coming into play." His choice of words made her question if he knew that Tobias had hit Briggs. "It's embedded deep inside of them, and the only way to cure it is to cull the damage, and replace it with purity."

"I'm not sure I understand," Tris said. "What do you mean by _cull_?"

"Perhaps cull is too harsh of a word," he said, sitting back in his chair. "But the mixing of pure and damaged genes isn't going to help our society. We monitor places outside of the Bureau in order to locate the genetically pure anomalies, such as yourself, so we can bring them to safety and ensure that their genes are passed on. By keeping the pure and the damaged separate, we increase our chances of fixing the mistakes that were made in the past."

Tris nodded along, but David's demeanor struck her as odd: he wasn't as engaged as when they first started talking. He had pulled away from her and his voice was slightly higher in pitch. Tris couldn't help but think he was lying to her, though about what she couldn't be sure. She was relieved when he dismissed her with plans to meet the next morning at his office.

There was a door immediately to her right that led outside. She burst through it, relaxing immediately; it was hard to not feel stifled inside the building, especially after spending so much time with David. She took a deep breath, playing back in her mind everything that had just happened. As she stared out at the fields that surrounded the Bureau, a flock of birds landed just inside the fence. She idly wondered why they would choose to land there when they were free to go anywhere.

Amar had dismissed Tobias as soon as he showed up, telling him to take the day and get himself back into the right frame of mind. Tobias appreciated the gesture, but he needed the distraction: without it, he wasn't sure he could keep himself from barging back into David's office and demanding answers. He wandered the compound, his feet carrying him down the familiar hallways of their own accord, until he found himself pushing through the door with the Dauntless flames.

He often wondered if he would have fit in with them. He was glaringly adept at handling a weapon, and he knew he could easily keep up with the qualifications required to become a member. He had watched the screens when he was younger — infatuated with the things his father hated the most — taking notes and practicing on his own, at least until Amar arrived at the Bureau. He became more serious about it then, the two of them forming a friendship the first day they met inside the Dauntless area. Amar had been quick to point out that he needed to keep tension in his core if he was going to succeed at anything other than wearing himself out — advice he had passed on to Tris.

Every thought brought another surge of energy out of him, another reason to vent his frustrations, another hard hit to the bag. The hours passed as his thoughts ranged from his father to George to David to Tris — they always seemed to find their way back to Tris. His pace slowed, his irritations becoming less important as thoughts of her took over. Each hit had less anger, less vitriol, until they stopped altogether. She calmed him and pushed away his demons simply by being there, by treating him as if he were no different than her.

She was so unlike anyone he had ever known in his life; he let himself believe for a moment that she really could be the answer to everything. His heart was becoming more invested each day, with every moment that they spent together. It scared him sometimes, all the new feelings he was experiencing. The way she so easily made the awful parts of his life disappear, like they never existed in the first place. If she could do that to him in just a few short weeks, he imagined she could do so much more in a lifetime. Tobias smiled to himself, feeling the heat of his flush on the back of his neck. He had to remind himself that no matter how bold she seemed, she was still fresh out of Abnegation. Even he hadn't lost all of their teachings, and he'd been gone for years. He let out a loud sigh and put away his gloves, too tired to continue the assault on himself.

He stood in the shower, trying to let the hot water wash away all of his thoughts so he could try and relax, change his focus as Amar had ordered. But images of Tris kept coming to him: the way she smiled, her carefree laugh, the way she looked up at him through her eyelashes, the way she tasted on his lips. It was impossibly hard to ignore the thoughts that were invading his mind. He gave in to his body's urges, his pleasure increasing as he thought of Tris, until he reached his peak, his hand hot and sticky.

His ragged breathing and racing heart calmed as he rinsed off. He felt ashamed that he had been thinking of Tris like that, using her for his own gratification, until he convinced himself that it was better to think of someone he cared about rather than some random girl he had never met.

He sighed when he opened the shower door; exhausted and distracted by his thoughts, he had headed straight for the showers without stopping to grab clean clothes. He secured his towel around his waist and gathered his sweat-soaked things, then strode out into the hallway.

Tris assumed Tobias and Matthew were both busy with work. After taking a moment to think over everything, she knew she needed to write her conversation with David down; there was the possibility that they would need to refer to specific details in the future, and any discrepancies could be used as a starting point for them. She rounded the corner to the hallway, noticing that Tobias's door was cracked open as she passed by. A flash of movement caught her eye; she pushed the door further open, her mouth dropping at the sight before her.

"Tris!" Tobias said as he whirled around, catching her wide-eyed and open-mouthed, still wearing only his towel.

Her eyes roamed his body for a moment before making their way to his panicked face. "Sorry! I'm sorry!" She pulled his door, slamming it shut.

Tris covered her face as she stood in the hallway. She had no idea how she could ever apologize enough for barging in on Tobias in the middle of changing. Her entire body felt as though it was on fire, her embarrassment beyond evident in her red skin. She became more flustered when she realized that if she had been just a few seconds later she might have seen even more. But underneath her mortification there was acute curiosity; both for what she saw and what, if she were honest, she'd like to see again. Impossibly, she felt herself get even warmer as the door opened behind her.

Tobias could see the flush on her neck and her arms — the same flush that was across his own face. He'd panicked when she surprised him; catching him mere moments after he had imagined her for his own pleasure was awkward enough, but now he was tasked with explaining what she had seen. It wasn't the easiest thing for him to talk about, and he had hoped he would be able to bring it up on his own terms.

"Tris?" She shook out her hands and turned, avoiding his eyes. He could see hers, though, darting around his torso, trying to piece it together. There was no ignoring it anymore; it was time to tell her the rest of his story.


	18. Will Not Let Me Go

Tobias reached out and cautiously took her hand, pulling her into his room; he'd only put on pants, not bothering to cover what she'd already seen. He looked tentatively between her and the door; it was a silent question that she understood. She leaned over and closed it herself, looking up as she waited for him to speak.

"It's hard to talk about," he began hesitantly. "And I could have... I _should_ have said something sooner. I mean, you've been in my head. You've seen my fears."

"You don't have to—"

"But I want to. I want to share this with you, Tris." _I want to share everything with you_ were the words he really wanted to say, but didn't. Her eyes softened a little, as if she heard his thoughts. He let out a sigh before he turned around, allowing her to take it all in.

Tris had never looked at a tattoo up close before. She would notice the occasional flash of one on a Dauntless patrol when she volunteered with the factionless, and even at the Bureau she saw them, peeking out from a collar or a sleeve. But the massive image laid out before her was unlike anything she had ever seen before.

"The bird is a phoenix," he continued, taking in a deep breath. "It's a mythical creature, one that dies by combusting into flames, only to be reborn from its own ashes." Her eyes roamed over red, orange, yellow, and black, the colors blending into an image more vivid than she ever could have imagined. "When I first came to the Bureau, I felt like my existence was finally going to be justified. That I would discover that I was born for something greater than just being Marcus's whipping boy, or the son who failed to keep his mother out of harm's way. The Bureau made me believe that I was being tested because I was something special, but as soon as that status was dangled in front of me, it was snatched back when they decided I wasn't good enough."

Tris's eyes fell lower, to the faction symbols that were hidden within the gray ashes. They lined his lower back, the phoenix rising up in flames above them. She reached out, her fingers lightly trailing over the ones that represented her. "And these?"

He stiffened at her touch, wincing slightly. The softness of her fingertips on his back was unexpected; he had only known the lash of a belt on his bare skin.

"I was so desperate to find somewhere I belonged. My father was a miserable excuse for a human being, and my mother became too caught up in her own needs to worry about mine. I think I had always felt alone, really, but it somehow felt worse here. I was actively being ignored by people who didn't have to abide by a faction's customs.

"I spent a lot of time in front of the screens, watching the different factions and the people in them, trying to find one that I could latch onto. I needed to know that I could find solace somewhere, even if I couldn't physically be there. But the harder I looked, the more I realized that I didn't belong to any of them. That I _couldn't_ belong to any of them. My own faction had turned a blind eye to what was happening, and when I asked for help, I got condescending stares and knowing smirks from another. Why would I choose to be a part of something that continuously failed me?"

She looked at the image again: its wings spread wide, crying out in triumph after being freed from the ashes of its previous life. It was Tobias, she thought, turning his back on the life that had let him down, being born again into someone better, fiercer, stronger: someone that didn't require any faction. She reached her hand out again, pressing her palm to the center of his back, trying to imagine how he must have felt.

"It's because you're Divergent," she said.

He spun, trying to ignore how her touch was reigniting his desire for her. "What?" His voice was full of disbelief. "I'm not, Tris. I told you, I don't have the mark—"

"I don't care about the marker! And screw what the Bureau says. You make decisions based on your life and what you've experienced, not because your genes tell you what to do. You said it yourself, you don't fit in anywhere. Well, neither do I, and maybe that's because we _are_ healed, Tobias. I don't need some test to prove to me that you are a good person."

She could see his chest heave, hear the loud exhale of the breath he was holding. It made her realize that he had probably never heard those words before. He probably hadn't heard a lot of good things growing up. "You are, Tobias. You deserve to know that. You deserve to know that you, too, are more than your genes. That you are cared for."

His eyes ran down her body, taking in every last inch of her; the subtle shift closer and the way she licked her lips as she stared up at him. A part of him wanted to believe that he deserved a good life, perhaps even one with her in it. But after years of having abuse hurled at him, followed by years of being ignored and treated as nothing more than damaged, the physical and emotional scars overpowered the hope he was feeling.

She took a step forward and placed her hand gently over his ribs. Over the one part he hadn't yet covered. He could see the sadness, the questions written all over her face.

"Marcus," he sighed, and she closed her eyes. "It was what finally pushed my mother to leave him. I don't even know what it was about, to be honest. I just remember he was livid and I was his target. He made me take off my shirt right there at dinner, when he would normally make me go upstairs to my room and wait for him. He lashed out at me, whipping me over and over with his belt. I had to stay silent, or else it would go on even longer. I bit down hard with each lash, tasting blood and feeling it trickle down my back, trying to keep from crying out. I thought it couldn't get any worse." He stumbled on his words, and Tris felt an ache in her heart unlike anything she had ever experienced before.

"When my mother yelled his name, trying to stop him or turn his attention towards her, he hurled a chair at her and it shattered against the wall. He picked up a piece, a leg, I think. He hovered over her as she cowered, but he turned and came back at me. I had never felt pain like that in my life, never heard a sound like it. The cracking of wood and bone, the scream that I couldn't hold in any longer. He swung with both hands, splitting my skin, making some of the lashes connect into one giant wound. He stopped after that, and left without a word. It was like he only did it to see how hard he had to push me before I broke. I couldn't go to the doctor without raising suspicions, so she patched me up as best as she could, and I was left with this."

Tris felt the tears in her eyes. She hadn't opened them the entire time he was talking, too afraid of seeing the hurt and the pain on his face; it was hard enough to hear it in his voice.

"Natalie helped fix it before we left, wrapped me up to help set my ribs and gave me antibiotics. I see so much of her in you, Tris. I could never repay her for everything she did."

She threw her arms around his neck, not bothering to fight the tears any longer. His hands found their way onto her back first as he slowly pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her. Every inch that connected the two of them felt like electricity and fire; it was the most alive he had ever felt in his life.

"He can never touch you again," she whispered, her voice wavering with each word. "I'll kill him if he tries." Tobias felt himself smile as he pulled away. He took her face in his hands and leaned his forehead against hers. If he ever had any doubt that he was madly in love with her, it completely vanished in that moment. He wiped her tears with his thumbs, smiling at the brave, fierce woman who just vowed to take on a man twice her size for him.

He pressed his lips to hers, the spark sending his desire into overdrive. He struggled with trying to find the balance between their upbringing and his thoughts from earlier; he settled for gripping her hip, his fingertips pushing under her shirt to find a sliver of bare skin. He pressed himself closer to her; she responded by threading her fingers through his hair, a soft sigh escaping.

"Tobias," she whispered, as he pulled away. Her eyes were half-closed, drunk from his touch. She brought her hands down, placing one on each cheek, forcing his attention on her. "You deserve so much more, and I'm… I'm here for you."

"I know."

"No. I don't think you understand. I won't ever do… _that_. I'll never hurt you, Tobias. I want…" She trailed off, her eyes roaming to his lips and back, her thumb idly brushing against his cheek.

"What, Tris..." His voice was barely above a whisper. "What do you want?"

"I want you."

Tobias took her in his arms again, trying to convey everything he felt with just his lips. They moved from her mouth to her jaw to her neck and back, receiving a soft sigh in response each time. He was bolder this time, pressing both hands against the small of her back. Her skin was warm and silky beneath his fingertips as they grazed a little higher. He heard her breath hitch in her throat; stopping was the hardest thing he had ever done. He wanted nothing more than to feel her body pressed against his, with their clothes somewhere else, but it wasn't just his decision.

"Sorry," Tris whispered, as he placed one last kiss on her cheek.

"Don't be. There's no rush. It's just you, and me, and all the time in the world." She smiled, a little laugh escaping. Even though she was somewhere that was throwing her life into chaos, she was thankful that she had Tobias to get her through it. Tris knew he would be the constant in her life, that he would keep her safe and grounded.

They were inseparable, their last moments of freedom spent no more than a few inches from each other. They ate lunch with Matthew, gardened in Amity, and spent some time in the little room by Erudite looking at items they were unable to name. When she mentioned housing at dinner, Tobias took her to his room to show her what they looked like.

It was a small, single bedroom unit; the standard for most rooms at the Bureau. There was a sitting area, a small kitchenette with a bar, a private bathroom, and a bedroom not much larger than the dorm. It reminded her a lot of Abnegation: nothing more than the bare necessities. It actually made her feel at home.

"There are three units that I know of near me that are empty," Tobias said, handing her a glass of water. "It would be nice if you could choose one of them."

"Aren't they assigned?"

"Yeah. But you're 'the one'," he said, smirking. "You could probably ask for the moon and they'd give it to you."

" _Ask for moon_ ," she repeated, writing a fake list on her hand. "Got it. Anything else?"

"Hmm. A kiss, maybe."

She bit her lower lip. It was easy, the give and take between them. The subtle flirting, the stolen touches, the lingering glances; she never expected any of it to happen when she took his hand that day in the factionless sector. She placed her glass on the counter, reaching out to pull him to her; his face broke into that lopsided grin she was learning was her favorite.

As Tobias's lips found hers, she was glad that she had never given much thought to the boys in Abnegation. The irony wasn't lost on her that they were both from the same, stifling faction. She also knew that even if they had both stayed there, this would have never happened; there wasn't enough freedom for them to find each other, let alone become so close. If she believed the teachings of her faction, she might have called their meeting divine intervention.

Her hands found the hem of his shirt as he pressed her against the counter. Her heart sped up as she reached underneath it, running her fingers along the small of his back the same way he did to her. She smiled against him when he let out a hum of approval. Their moment was short-lived; she wasn't sure when she felt the first one, but the second was larger, more pronounced. Scars, covered in ink. She pulled away, searching his face for any indication that she had hurt him; she didn't have any scars of her own to compare. She was met with an inquisitive look.

"Tobias," she whispered, splaying her hands along his back, "Take me."

"W-what?" he stammered out.

She felt her neck get hot, realizing how it must have sounded to him. "Tattoos," she clarified, laughing lightly. "I want one."

"Oh," he said, chuckling a little. He wasn't quite sure if he was relieved or disappointed. "Can I ask why?"

She shrugged. "You got yours to distance yourself from them, but I think I want one to bring me closer."

He smiled, nuzzling her cheek with his nose. "Okay."

She headed back to the dorm to start packing up some of her things while Tobias went to find Emma to see if she was free. He thought about asking for the both of them, but decided that this should be Tris's moment. He was just happy to be a part of it.

"Any idea what she has in mind?" Emma asked, pulling out her sketchbook. She flipped to one of her favorite pieces, the one that was covering his back, and smiled.

"No. I have a feeling it won't be anything like that, though," he replied, tipping his head towards the sheet in her hand.

"Good. I only have a couple of hours before my shift starts, so hurry your ass back here."

"Yes, ma'am."

She glared at him, pointing a finger as he shot her a smile. "Call me that again and see what happens."

Tris pulled out the black tank top, running her hand over it like she had done before. She smiled as she took her baggy t-shirt off and pulled the new shirt over her head. It felt foreign showing so much skin, but it also felt empowering; she was realizing more and more that she would never be that same girl from Abnegation, and it was time to start embracing her changes. She smoothed it down, noticing how it hugged her body tighter than anything she had worn so far. She second-guessed her decision for a moment and then shook her head, tossing her self-doubt aside to continue putting her things in the bag she was given in preparation for moving. It wasn't long until Tobias knocked on her door.

"Ready?" He took in every last inch of her, almost begging Tris to save the tattoo for another day so they could hole up in her room.

"Yeah."

Emma was an older woman with short gray hair and a fair amount of tattoos. She smiled kindly as she flipped through a large portfolio of her artwork, talking about her inspiration for some of the pieces, or how long it took her to complete the sketches.

"How long will it take?" Tris asked.

"It depends on what you choose," she said. She pulled two pieces of paper out: one was an intricate piece full of trees and birds and other animals Tris had only seen pictures of, while the other was full of small sketches ranging from the faction symbols to stars to skulls. "Something like this one would take many sessions, upwards of a month to complete, while one of these could be knocked out in an hour or less."

Tris sifted through them, nothing really catching her eye except the forest scene. For some reason she kept being drawn back to it, even though it was something she couldn't imagine having on her body for the rest of her life. It wasn't until she really looked at it closely that she realized what it was that called to her.

"The birds," she said, running a finger over them. "Do you have anything with just them?" Emma thought for a moment before standing and rummaging through a bag on her counter. She pulled out a tiny book and began flipping through the pages, smiling when she turned it towards Tris. It was filled with tiny sketches, a few of them birds in flight.

"I actually did these the other day. I was sitting near the greenhouses on my day off, watching the people come and go, sketching some of them, when a huge flock landed. Guess it was meant to be," she said, flashing a wide smile. "Shall we?"

They followed Emma down a few halls to another room. It was barely wide enough for the three of them to fit comfortably, the large chair and counter for equipment taking up the majority of the space. "It was an unused storage room. I asked if I could put my things in here, instead of cramming them into my room. I have to admit, I was surprised they said yes. Then again, James does have quite a few tattoos." She winked at Tris and patted the chair. As she sat down, she vaguely recalled meeting James that morning; it didn't seem like anyone in David's council would indulge in something like tattoos.

Tris closed her eyes and reclined in the chair. She took a few deep breaths, steadying herself and calming her nerves while Emma set everything up. She opened her eyes when she heard Emma's stool roll over to her.

"You ready?"

"Yes."

"Where do you want me to place them?" Tris pointed towards her left shoulder and swiped across it. She was still as Emma cleaned the skin of her collarbone with an alcohol wipe then prepped the gun, dipping it in the ink and priming it. "Fair warning, it's gonna hurt. Just remember to breathe." Tris nodded once, her eyes finding Tobias. He was leaning against the door, arms crossed, eyes locked onto her. She grimaced, the first touch of the needle stinging.

It wasn't completely unbearable. The motions created a steady burning sensation, but she found herself closing her eyes often, her face contorting when Emma worked on certain areas. It didn't take long for Tobias to end up by her side, rubbing soothing circles on her calf. She gave him an appreciative smile.

Emma talked over the buzz of the gun, Tris assumed, to try and put her at ease. She learned that Emma was from a city called Nashville; it wasn't an experiment, but rather a free city. Emma had lost her girlfriend to a raid there when she was mistaken for someone else. She left right after it happened, wandering on foot with minimal money and no plan in mind until she was picked up by the Bureau, somewhere near St. Louis. She told them what had happened and asked for a job since she had nowhere to go. She transferred to Chicago a few years later when they asked her to, and she'd been content ever since. Cleaning the compound wasn't her ideal job, but they supplied her with what she needed to do tattoos, which made her happy. Before Tris knew it, Emma was wiping the excess ink off her skin and bandaging her up.

"Okay, Miss Tris. Keep that covered for a couple of hours, then wash it gently. Don't pick at it, and keep some of this on it at all times." She handed Tris a small tube. "Just bring that back when it stops flaking. About a week should do it. Any questions?"

"I don't think so," she said, looking down at the white bandage covering part of her upper chest.

"Well, I think this guy can help you, if you think of anything."

"Thanks, Em." Tobias shook her hand.

Tris found herself bouncing, full of energy as they walked down the halls. She didn't know what she wanted to do, but she knew she didn't want to go back to her room to pack. She was content to stay awake all night, keeping tomorrow from reaching her any faster.

"Adrenaline rush," Tobias said from next to her. "Happens every time."

She laughed. "That obvious?"

"I don't think I could keep you still, even if I tried."

She gave him a smile that sent his heart racing. "You might be surprised."

She could feel the heat on the back of her neck and her cheeks; the more time she spent with Tobias, the bolder she was becoming. He raised an eyebrow, smiling, and she decided then that she liked this new part of herself. Tris liked to see the effect she had on him, even if she still blushed.

She hurried ahead of him, more than happy to have him chase after her. She felt young, and thought if she could just stay in the moment, she could push all her responsibilities away. She wouldn't have to worry about genes or changing the outcome of the human race or whether they were being deceived. Tris was perfectly content to just laugh with Tobias, kiss him, and hold him close.

She led him underground into the depths of the Bureau. He pressed her against the wall in the dim light, no longer giving a damn if anyone knew about them as his lips thoroughly explored hers, roaming to her neck as his hands squeezed her hips. Tris had never thought of herself as desirable, but the time she spent with Tobias made it impossible to feel any other way. She loved it. She loved _him_. Tris bit her lip, almost letting the words tumble out as his lips found a spot just beneath her ear. She fisted his shirt, arching up into him, sighing contentedly as he smiled against her, satisfied that he made her do that. "Come on," he whispered against her skin. "Let's celebrate."

They found a table in the corner of the bar underneath the colored lights. They kept to themselves, sipping their drinks and talking about nothing in particular. She enjoyed it; it was how she had imagined her life would be outside of the city. Despite all that was happening around her, she wasn't worried about anything other than that moment. It felt like freedom.

They finished their drinks, dragging their feet as they headed back to their rooms, wishing for the night to never end. It was late, though, and Tris could feel herself coming down from her rush, relaxed from the alcohol in her system. It was a warm, lazy sort of feeling; it made her smile.

"What?" Tobias asked from next to her.

She turned her head to see a wide smile on his face. "Nothing. It was just a nice evening."

"Yeah, it was."

They passed the bathroom on the way to their rooms, and she caught sight of the bandage in the mirror. She fished the tube out of her pocket, turning to Tobias. "Go on," he said. "Let's see it." She peeled the edge of the bandage back, slowly revealing the mixture of blood and black that had seeped onto it. She scrunched her nose as Tobias handed her a bar of soap. Holding the strap of her tank top out of the way, she washed the tattoo gently, rinsing away all the impurities, revealing the picture underneath. She smiled as she stared at it in the mirror.

"Three birds?" Tobias said, wrapping his arms around her torso from behind.

"Yeah," she said, looking up at his reflection. "My mother, my father and my brother. No matter what, they're still my family. And now I'll have them right here with me, always." She put a little ointment on her finger and massaged it over the birds winging their way along her collarbone; she held her hand over her family, the trio flying towards her heart. She wished that like the birds, they too could take flight to come be with her.

"It's beautiful," Tobias whispered. He brushed her hair aside and leaned down, kissing her shoulder. "You're beautiful." She wrapped her own arms around his, keeping him close to her. She may have lost them, but she would be damned if she lost him, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And our duo has finally admitted to themselves that they're in love. Aww. :P
> 
> So, we are at the halfway point of this story! I know it's been a slow, slow burn, but I promise, this back half is almost non-stop action. I mean, we can't just have a nice story where they fall in love and absolutely nothing happens, can we?


	19. I Am Yours

Tris woke to knocking on her door. She looked around, groggy and disoriented, before realizing the knocking was getting more persistent. She threw her covers off and opened the door, shielding her eyes from both the light in the hall and Tobias's wide grin in front of her.

"Morning," he said. "Still working out?"

"Oh...yeah." She hadn't realized that it was time to start the day; it felt like only minutes had passed since she had lain down. It was the best night's sleep she'd gotten since she arrived. "Give me a second." Tris dressed quickly, running to the bathroom to apply more ointment to her tattoo and to brush her teeth before joining Tobias.

They ran through the same routine they always did: laps around Dauntless to warm up, then time spent alternating between working on arms and legs. Tris worked hard, following Tobias's instructions and moving the heavy bag with more force than she ever had before. She could feel him watching her every chance he got; she had to suppress a smile almost all morning.

"Wanna fight?"

"What?" she said, turning to look at him.

He held his hands up showing her the gloves, that crooked smile plastered on his face. "We have a little time. I just thought I could show you a couple moves. See if I'm really any good at this teaching thing."

She looked him up and down, trying to determine if she could handle being hit by him. She took in his taut muscles, the way he flexed his arms, the cocky smirk on his face. It was going to hurt, she was sure. But if she could somehow get the best of him, it would earn her some bragging rights. "I'll take it easy on you, I promise," he teased.

She raised an eyebrow at him. "You'd better not."

They squared up, Tobias instructing her on basic offensive and defensive moves. He went through the motions first and then she followed, hitting and blocking, ducking and spinning, as he pointed out weak spots along the way. "Use your elbows," he said, "Or your knees." She smirked, readying her knee to hit him in the groin; he blocked her mock attempt, allowing her to spin, aiming an elbow to his face.

"Not bad," he said, planting a light kiss on the arm hovering an inch in front of him. "Let's do it for real now."

"What? Tobias, I can't hit you in the face."

"Why not?" he countered.

She didn't have a reason other than she didn't want to hurt him. She looked him up and down again before shrugging her shoulders. "Okay, but I don't want to hear you cry."

They went through the move again, only this time he blocked her arm, pulling it down and behind her back. "Needs a little work," he grunted, pulling her back against his chest; she could feel it rise and fall, his breaths heavy as he held his head next to hers. He wasn't hurting her or even holding onto her tight; it was just another lesson to keep her on her toes. She smiled as she stepped forward, twisting so her arm straightened, and landed another mock blow, this time to his throat.

"Or maybe I just need a better instructor," she quipped. They laughed as he pulled her closer, kissing her lightly on the forehead.

"Again," he said. "I'll get it right, eventually." She smiled as he winked at her.

 

 

* * *

 

 

"You ready for today?" he asked when she came out of her room. It felt odd, going separate ways after all their time together, the morning feeling almost bittersweet.

"As ready as I can be," she answered. Truthfully, she was a little worried that it was going to be a waste of their time, and that she would end up doing something she hated for nothing. She smiled, though, trying to keep a positive outlook on the situation.

The rest of her morning was hectic, with information coming at her from every direction: her housing assignment, a schedule for classes, introductions to the rest of the council members she had yet to meet. She was even scheduled to spend some time at the end of each day with one of the council members, going over various things to make sure she was acclimating well and assimilating all the information she was being taught. The first couple of weeks, she learned, would be spent doing nothing more than sitting in various classrooms; for a moment she felt like she was back in the city, the same boring routine on repeat. She supposed that there was a sliver of hope that one of the council members would answer whatever questions she could come up with, and that it might lead to something.

"How was your first morning?" Matthew asked at lunch. Tobias's schedule didn't line up with theirs; she hated that she wouldn't see him until dinner.

"Informative," she answered dryly. "I'm completely looking forward to the next few weeks of non-stop Bureau history and everything that goes along with it." Matthew gave her a sympathetic look. "Please don't pity me," she said, laughing. "At least there's lunch with you."

"You have _got_ to make some friends, Tris."

"Hey, I have friends."

"Four and I don't count." Matthew gave her a small smile. "I'm only saying something because it looks like I will have to go back out on a data run soon." She rolled her eyes and let out a quiet groan. Matthew's tone was rueful as he added, "Yeah. Think how _I_ feel."

Tris looked around the cafeteria: not a single face looked familiar to her. She hadn't had a lot of friends in Abnegation, either, but at least she had known Susan and Robert, who lived across the street from her, and she had been friendly with an Amity girl named Lilly who sat next to her in a couple of classes. She had only met a handful of people at the Bureau: Ruby, Jones, Neil, and Emma were the only ones that came to mind. She gave Matthew a sheepish look when she realized he was staring at her.

"Okay," she conceded. "You have a point."

"I always do." He winked at her, making her laugh.

Tris's afternoon consisted of watching various videos that talked about how the experiments were started and the goals of the Bureau. They also seemed to stress the importance of reproductive safety. Tris blushed, but kept her eyes focused on the screen in front of her while her instructor read a book. It was definitely a more descriptive lesson than the basic sex education speech she had received in school, but what really worried her was that even though none of the videos said it outright, a distinct undertone ran throughout: the damaged and the pure shouldn't intermix in order to guarantee the passing along of healed genes. Tris worried for a moment that her relationship with Tobias might cause trouble for them.

At the end of the video, there was an informative piece on the policy of mandatory contraception within the Bureau; she looked down at her schedule to see a trip to the hospital wing was set for the next day. While she was in no rush to have children, it felt wrong for others to limit her choices in the matter. She had to brush off the feeling that, because of her genes, they would eventually use her to breed like the animals in Amity.

Amar was unusually silent. Tobias was sure it was because of George, but he didn't want to bring anything up around prying ears; it seemed like gossip could spread faster at the Bureau than diseases in the Fringe. They had worked together seamlessly on his first day back, designating supplies for the next trip out into one of the cities, setting up patrol shifts to monitor the compound, and assigning who would check and replace faulty equipment over the next month. It was mind-numbing busy work, and by late afternoon, Tobias found himself wishing that he could find Tris and go disappear someplace where they couldn't be found.

"Want to talk about it?" he asked Amar when the shift began clearing out.

"Not particularly. What's up with you and Tris?"

Tobias clenched his jaw at the blatant redirection. "What do you mean?"

Amar set down his tablet and looked up at Tobias. "Look, I know you like to play the aloof card, but you've turned into a whole new person since she showed up. I can see it in your eyes and hear it in your voice. Hell, I can see it in your step. You know as well as I do that they're watching. They're always watching."

"You think I haven't thought about that?" Tobias spat.

Amar held up his hands. "Listen, I'm on your side. She's turned you into a respectable human being capable of feelings and word usage. But you are my friend, and I just need to know that you're looking out for yourself, too." Tobias sighed and gave him a quick nod. Just like Tobias, Amar didn't show his softer side often.

"What about George?" They only had a few minutes before the next shift would begin making their way in. He wasn't going to budge until he got at least some semblance of an answer from Amar. They stared at each other for a minute before Amar looked away.

"I'll make you a deal," he said. Tobias thought he had never heard Amar sound so dejected. "I need some time to think things through, and I can't do that if I'm crammed into the same vehicle as him for a week. So, how about if I help keep an eye out here and let you know if anything seems amiss, and you can keep an eye out on this trip for me." He pushed his tablet towards Tobias; on it was the itinerary for their next mission out.

Tobias normally had no problem heading out to the cities to just get away; he and Amar often alternated trips. But with Tris in the picture, and the fact that they were snooping around, he was hesitant. It wasn't until he saw the worry in Amar's eyes that he knew he had to go. They had something in common now between Tris and George, and despite Amar's loyalties to the Bureau, they were going to have to look out for each other. Besides, Amar _was_ his friend, and it wouldn't kill Tobias to do something nice.

"Yes, sir," he said as the next shift began filtering in. Amar tapped the screen, sending the schedule to Tobias before dismissing him.

He was lost in various thoughts of Tris, wondering how her day went and if she missed him even half as much as he missed her. He had some time to clear his things from the dorm before meeting her for dinner; he knew it was selfish, but he hoped she was housed near him. It would certainly help them to spend more time together without looking like they were going out of their way to do so. As desperate as he was to touch and hold and kiss her all the time, he knew he couldn't keep throwing caution to the wind.

He hadn't brought much with him, so he shoved it in a bag and lugged it back in one trip. He also changed his sheets and did other mundane things to pass the time. With nothing left to do, he decided to wait for Tris in the common room so he could help with her things.

She saw his feet propped up on a chair as she walked down the hallway. Tris peered around the corner to see him dozing on the couch, and couldn't help but smile at how he looked; it was nice to see him relaxed, his near-permanent look of intimidation hidden away for a few moments. The only time he seemed to let this side of him be seen was when it was just the two of them, and Tris wished she could see it more. She sighed and set her things down quietly, tiptoeing over to him. Just as she leaned down to kiss him on the cheek, he turned his head and met her lips with his.

"No fair," she said. "How'd you know?"

"I could hear you breathing."

Her mouth fell open for a second. "You're not the quietest breather in the room either, you know."

Tobias smiled and reached out, pulling her down into his lap. He nuzzled into her neck, relieved to finally have her in his arms. She let out a small laugh that turned into a sigh; his breath was warm, his hands gentle as they roamed across her back. He placed a soft kiss on her neck and she arched a little closer, the lack of space between them tempting.

"You don't seem to mind my breathing now," he whispered.

Tris smiled, clearing her throat and pulling away, despite how badly she wanted to stay put. "I have good news." She stood and pulled him up off the couch.

They carried her things down the same hallway where Tobias lived. His hopes were high for good reason; they stopped only three doors down from his. "Surprise," Tris said, sliding her keycard through the reader and pushing the door open; it was identical to Tobias's unit.

"How'd you pull this one off? Did you have to promise them your firstborn or something?"

She frowned at the thought. "I didn't have to do anything," she said, setting her things down on the small table. "This is what was assigned to me."

Tobias watched as she grabbed her bag of clothes, taking it to her bedroom. He knew it would have become occupied at some point, but it didn't stop the thought from crossing his mind that it was too convenient for Tris to be assigned so close to him. Tobias hoped it was his own insecurities that were fueling his mistrust, and pushed the thought aside, accepting her assignment as pure luck.

He followed her into her room, pulling the sheets and blanket out of the dresser while she put her clothes away. They were silent as they worked together: making the bed, filling her bathroom cabinet, putting her paperwork away neatly in the desk in her room. It was relaxing, structured. It was Abnegation.

"So," he said, pulling her badge so he could see it. "Administration. You're officially one of them."

"Yeah," she said, sighing a little.

"Feel any different?"

She shrugged. "I just want what's best. For everyone."

"I know." He stepped forward and pressed his lips to her forehead. "You know, in Dauntless they throw a party when they move into a new unit."

She pulled back to see a grin on his face. "How do you know that?" He raised an eyebrow at her. "Okay, okay," she said, laughing. "Sometimes I forget about the screens. And your obsession with them. Did you have a party?"

"It's not an obsession. And I'm not Dauntless."

"Neither am I," she countered.

He leaned forward and kissed her forehead again. "Yeah. Keep telling yourself that." His confidence in her made her smile.

The rest of the week went smoothly as she followed the same daily routine: working out with Tobias, breakfast, classes, lunch with Matthew, and more classes that ended in meetings she'd yet to figure out how to work to her advantage. The routines she had loathed in Abnegation were slowly becoming comforting to her.

Matthew hung out with them once after dinner, and Amar and Ruby and Jones — who now insisted she call him Benjamin — joined them a couple of times. It was nice spending time with other people, forming new friendships. They rarely talked about work or the Bureau, but with Tris being the new person they seemed to always end up on the topic of the experiments. She often caught Tobias's subtle questions to his friends and paid attention to the answers; trying to gauge his motivations, she finally decided to ask when they returned to their rooms.

"I'm going out on a mission to one of the cities soon."

"Oh." She wasn't quite sure why that meant he had to secretly interrogate his friends, but she urged him to continue.

"Just want to make sure I can trust them."

"With?"

He gave her a half-grin. "You."

She smiled. "I can take care of myself."

"I never said you couldn't. But it wouldn't hurt to have a couple sets of eyes that I can count on watching out for you. Just call it backup."

"Are you really that worried about me? Nothing's happened, Tobias."

"I know," he said, pulling her close. Nothing had happened. In fact, nothing seemed amiss at all. But that didn't stop the ever-present doubt that lurked in the back of his mind. "But if something did…" She gave him a soft smile when he didn't finish. He leaned down and kissed her, hoping to convey the words he couldn't find.

When they were alone, they rarely kept their hands to themselves; tangled in hair, trailing down backs, pressing each other close, it was all new territory for the both of them, and often left them both wanting. Tobias held back, much to his frustration, worried about pushing Tris too far or too fast. But Tris was just as desperate for him, her Abnegation teachings about modesty and the power of touch thrown right out the window. She knew how powerful it was; their experiences together brought out something from the depths of her, something that let her know beyond a doubt that everything they were doing was right and that she had no desire to experience it with anyone else.

"You okay?" he asked.

She hadn't even noticed he was staring at her, their lips long parted. "Oh. Yeah."

"You sure? You looked a little lost in thought there." He gave her that easy smile, the one that made her heart beat a little faster.

She slipped her hand in his. "What are we?" The words were quiet, a little too unsure for all that had been happening between them. Tobias's brow furrowed, and she realized he probably had no idea what she was talking about. "I feel weird asking, but I'm your girlfriend, right?"

Tris looked away for only a moment, trying to keep her breathing normal. She knew it was odd to think otherwise, to doubt everything that was happening between them; it was nearly impossible for them to keep to themselves. But they had never talked about it, and being raised Abnegation didn't exactly give her any experience in that aspect of life. She hoped that asking for a little confirmation wasn't too out of the ordinary.

"Well, I hope so," he said, pulling her into him and wrapping his arms around her. "Considering the way I feel about you."

She bit her lip, trying to stifle a laugh as relief coursed through her. "So, that's it?"

She looked up at him; the look in her eyes left him wondering if she knew how he truly felt, if she was asking him to say he loved her out loud. He started and stopped a few times, every response feeling like too little. He wasn't sure there were enough words to describe how much he cared for her. His eyes narrowed when she laughed.

"I just thought there might be, like, a little more asking and a little less agreeing."

"Oh," he said, smiling at her teasing. He cleared his throat and stood up straight. "Beatrice Prior, would you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?"

She laughed again, and this time he joined her. Tris thought it was hilarious how awkward a seemingly normal moment had become, but she was thankful that Tobias was doing his best to put her at ease. She cleared her throat and stood straight like he had done, and put on her best serious face. "Well, that depends."

"On?" he asked, his face mimicking hers.

She lifted her hands, spreading them across his chest, feeling every defined muscle as she leaned up on her toes. "If you want to be my boyfriend, too," she whispered in his ear.

Her pulse quickened as he fit his mouth to hers. She gripped his shirt, pulling herself against him. The feel of his lips and his body against hers was euphoric and dizzying. He ran his fingers through her hair and pulled her so close she had no idea whose heartbeat she was feeling. All she knew was that she had no desire for the moment to end, the thoughts in her mind repeating themselves over and over: she wanted to revel in these feelings for the rest of her life.

His lips found their way to her cheek, her jaw, just under her ear. "Yes," he whispered, his breath and his words sending a wave of goosebumps over her body. He felt her nod and held her tighter; he swore his heart was desperately trying to meld with hers to become one. "I am yours, Tris. I will _always_ be yours."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, a little cheeseball fluffiness is in order. :P
> 
> Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend, and reviews are always appreciated!


	20. Predicaments and Ultimatums

Tris had never had such a hard time concentrating in her entire life. She tried reading the material in front of her, putting the information together into coherent sentences, and doing the work that was assigned to her. But the only thing she seemed to be able to think about was Tobias; his lips on hers, his hands holding her close, his words making her fall even further. Hearing him say those words, that he was hers, made her heart beat harder even in the stale classroom. She jumped when her instructor cleared her throat, bringing her out of her reverie. "Sorry," she murmured, trying again to focus on the task at hand.

Lunch brought a whole new round of waiting, since Matthew was nowhere to be found, either. She picked at her food, debating on whether she could get away with hanging out wherever he was for a few minutes when Tobias slid into the seat next to her.

"Hey," she said, smiling brightly. It faded as soon as she saw the look on his face. "What? What is it?"

"Nothing major," he said, giving her a small smile. "Remember that I told you we'd be heading out on an assignment outside the city? Well, now it's been moved up to tomorrow. I'll be leaving before you even wake. I have to go pack and make sure all our resources are together for the trip, but I didn't want to wait to tell you."

"Oh." Tris felt herself deflate. She hadn't liked the idea of him leaving when he first mentioned it, and she liked it even less now that he would be leaving so soon. "Three days early?" Tobias nodded. "Any idea why?"

"None. It could be nothing, though." He reached out and rubbed her arm. "Just keep your eyes and ears open, and I'll do the same. I'll see you at dinner, okay?" She nodded as he got up and hurried out the door.

The afternoon dragged on, filled with more useless facts about the Bureau and genes. Tris almost wished she had chosen a different path just so she wouldn't have to read another line about how inferior everyone was compared to her. Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door; Tris looked up to see David.

"I'm excusing you early," he said, motioning for Tris to come with him. She gathered her things, following in silence until they ended up at the screen bank. She eyed David curiously as he sat down, motioning for her to do the same.

"There are many different responsibilities that come with a position like ours." He tapped on the screen in front of them, bringing up a split screen. One had Jeanine Matthews on it, the other, her brother and the girl named Cara. "It's a lot of decision-making, and some of it isn't easy. Sometimes we find ourselves at a crossroads, and oftentimes, it involves the people we care about."

Tris was so focused on David's words, trying to pick up on anything she could take back to Tobias and Matthew, that she flinched when he turned to her. He gave her a smile that did little to reassure her of his intentions. "It seems your brother has fallen into Ms. Matthews' favor," he continued. "Is there anything you can tell me about that?"

Tris shook her head. "No. Caleb and I weren't that close growing up. I was just as surprised as everyone else when he chose Erudite."

He nodded his head. "We've been keeping a close eye on things. Are you aware that Ms. Matthews and your brother recently visited Dauntless together?"

Tris could only shake her head no. She looked at the screens again, watching her brother work. He was running a test on a machine of some kind, working equations out on paper before inputting the data back into the computer. David tapped the screen again and brought up different footage; she watched her brother standing with others from Erudite as Jeanine and Max had a discussion. It was odd enough to see him in blue, let alone standing in the virtual darkness that typified Dauntless.

"We've been actively monitoring this for the last week, the same way they have been monitoring Divergents." Tris felt her palms get sweaty. "I just wanted to make sure you were aware of what was happening, and to help you realize that there are many things that we do here at the Bureau that don't directly involve genetics. Our first goal is to keep the city safe; to control it and make sure its inhabitants are behaving. This," he said, motioning to the screen, "Is a stark reminder, Miss Prior, of just how far we have to go, of how much healing there is still left to do."

Tris wasn't sure how to take the information. She smiled at David before turning her attention back to the screen. There was an exchange made between Max and Jeanine before they shook hands and parted ways. She tried to focus on what Max was holding, but it was too small to tell.

"The consensus is that it's a serum. For what, though, we haven't yet figured out. So, I would like for you to familiarize yourself with what's going on. I feel like you are our greatest asset right now. Not only are you related to one of the parties involved, but we also believe that you are their target demographic. I do hope you'll agree to assist in any way you can?" Tris nodded, unsure if she was agreeing because she wanted to know, too, or because she felt obligated. "Perfect. I'll arrange your schedule to reflect this. Stop by my office in the morning."

He left her there, watching her brother. While she and Caleb were never that close, she was still having a hard time wrapping her head around him participating in something that could potentially hurt someone else. Caleb was kinder than nearly everyone else she had known in Abnegation, including herself. She also wondered what their parents would think if they knew. She shook her head and cleared the screen, taking her things back to her room.

She paced back and forth, running everything she had learned while at the Bureau over and over in her head. On the outside, what was said made sense: there was damage done to these people that caused them to act the way they did. But then there was someone like Tobias, who was labeled as damaged, yet didn't act how she was told he would. She would even argue the same about Ruby, Jones, and Emma. Why was there such a discrepancy? She flipped through some of the books she had, looking for chapters on genes and how the healed and the damaged truly differed. It wasn't until she heard a knock on the door that she realized how long she had been sitting there.

"Tris," Tobias breathed out, relief flooding his face.

"Oh, Tobias," she said, pulling him inside. She wrapped her arms around his neck, his own encircling her waist. "I was so wrapped up in gene stuff that I didn't even realize what time it was."

He kissed the side of her head before pulling away. "Did you eat?"

"No."

"Stay here, then, and I'll be right back." She smirked as he backed out of her room, closing the door behind him.

She hadn't found anything useful, so she put her books up, straightening the small mess she had made. She sat and waited, mulling things over in her head, the most important thought being: why wasn't there a clear answer to such a simple question? Yes, her genes were different, but she acted no differently than anyone else. According to all the information she could find, the damaged people at the Bureau should be constantly fighting or stealing or killing, yet they weren't. She thought about the false reports that had been filed, too, wondering how those results differed from her own or even Tobias's.

He knocked on the door and she opened it to see him with an armful of containers and drinks. "Thought we could just stay in and maybe break in your kitchen."

She smiled. "Sounds perfect."

They warmed up the soup and made grilled cheese sandwiches. She smiled, remembering this was the first meal they ate together. She wondered if he chose it specifically for that reason. They ate in comfortable silence, Tobias occasionally bumping her arm when she had a spoonful of soup, a smirk on his face. "Whoops," he'd say, grinning ear to ear when she shot him a look.

"How long are you supposed to be gone?"

He took a deep breath, wishing they could forget the seriousness of everything for a little longer. "Nine days, but we could be back in seven or eight if things go smoothly." Tris nodded. "If you need anything, go to Amar first. Ruby will be here, too. You guys could probably spend some time together since Jones will be with me." She nodded again, her mood having gone from cheerful to disheartened.

"David pulled me out of class today. Apparently, Caleb and Jeanine Matthews and some other Erudite have been visiting Dauntless." Tobias looked at her questioningly. "He wants me to watch the screens, see if I can spot anything different because he's my brother."

"You aren't going to find anything," Tobias said coldly. "They asked me to do the same thing with Marcus, but he was the same person he always was in public, so there was nothing to see."

Tris watched him; the hurt was there, buried underneath the anger. She couldn't even begin to imagine the pain and the dread Tobias had faced every day, or how he must have felt being forced to watch Marcus and report back on him. She wanted to take that pain away more than anything. She held her hand out; he took it with a smile as she led him to her couch. He raised an eyebrow when they sat, Tris pulling him down next to her.

"What about the dishes?"

"They can wait," she said. "Right now, I just want this."

"You rebel," he said, grinning and pulling her close.

"Tell me something," she said nestling against him. "I need to take my mind off you leaving."

Tobias felt a pang of guilt in his gut. "What do you want to know?"

"Anything. Tell me about meeting Amar, or making friends with Emma, or what it was like when you first got here." She winced. "Actually, scratch that last one."

"It's okay. I don't mind."

He took a deep breath, settling himself further into the couch. "It was a little hectic when I got here. My mother and I did the blood tests like everyone else; hers came back healed while mine came back damaged, so I didn't have to go through much more. We were offered a place after they nursed her back to health, and she accepted it. I took classes and tried to pretend like everything was normal, like I was just back in school in the city. Evelyn was busy with her own classes or meetings or whatever, until she up and decided that we weren't going to stay. By then I was used to this place. I mean, it's structured, but coming from the city, it felt like freedom. You know." He saw her nod out of the corner of his eye. "Not to mention I liked knowing I would have a roof over my head, clean clothes, and warm food three times a day."

Tris frowned as she looked up at him. "It was surprisingly easy to tell her I was staying, that I wasn't going to go back to anything that was even remotely close to that life. To say it was a huge fight would be an understatement. We both said some pretty hurtful things." He paused for a moment, something like regret crossing his face. "And then the rest is what it is. She left. I kept to myself, got an education. Amar came from Dauntless about two years ago. I was splitting my time around the various areas of the compound by then, trying to find someplace where I belonged, and we met when he was training. He was quiet, didn't ask for much. It was perfect. The decision to go into security came pretty naturally after that."

"It's a good fit," she commented.

"What, security?" Tris nodded. "You haven't even seen me in action."

"Yes, I have. But even if I hadn't, I would still know it's a good fit. You're very protective."

Her lips turned up as he chuckled against her. "Fair enough. Okay, your turn."

"What do you want to know?"

"What it was like to grow up in a normal family."

There was no hesitation before he said it, and Tris felt her chest constrict. He wasn't looking at her, though, choosing to stare at the blank wall in front of him. She could feel his heart thumping against his ribcage. Tris thought about lying, about making her life seem worse than it was, but he had been so open and honest with her, she at least owed him the truth.

"It was normal, I guess. Didn't seem any different from any of the other kids I knew." She scrunched her face, feeling the magnitude of what she said and how it didn't apply to Tobias. "Caleb was… well, Caleb. We got along well enough, though he never missed an opportunity to chastise me when I wasn't performing up to his standards."

"His standards?"

"Yeah. Believe it or not, he was definitely more Abnegation than I was.

"And my mother, she volunteered with the factionless, handing out clothing and food, administering medical care. My father worked on the council with yours. He was good, and kind: the perfect Abnegation role model, really. My parents were strict, but they also gave us more freedom to be who we were than other Abnegation families typically did. Behind closed doors they were even more open. They held hands, and showed Caleb and me affection. Sometimes I think my mom hugged us just to see how many times she could do it before we said anything."

Her mouth went dry. Their lives were complete opposites; his was full of hate and violence, while hers was full of love and nurturing. Again she thought of their genes, and how anyone could possibly call Tobias damaged. She pulled his arm around her, and he held her close. "How long can you stay?" she whispered.

"As long as you want me to." She smiled and made herself comfortable.

Tobias watched the slow rise and fall of her shoulder. She had fallen asleep almost instantly, and he wasn't about to wake her; he needed to be near her, needed every ounce of the strength and energy she gave him to get through the mission. He wondered how he had gotten so lucky, how the two of them had managed to end up in the same place, together. He gave himself a small amount of credit for noticing her, remembering how different she was all those years ago. But if she wasn't who she was — Divergent — they would have never met. He kissed the top of her head and smiled.

Tris heard the beeping before she registered what it was. She opened her eyes to see her living room, and felt a body next to her; she turned her head to see Tobias barely stirring, his watch flashing and beeping loudly. "Tobias!" she said, scrambling to her feet.

He shot up, fumbling with the watch on his wrist until it stopped. "Shit," he said, blinking a few times as he stared at it. "I have to go." He hastily made his way to the door, stopping when he touched the handle. Tobias turned to see her standing there, hair disheveled, eyes red and full of sleep, a look of uncertainty on her face as she bit her lip.

He crossed back to her in two long strides and pulled her up in his arms, tangling his hands in her hair as he kissed her, trying to make it enough to last for the time they would be apart. He pulled away to catch his breath; Tris's chest was rising and falling rapidly, her eyes wide and her lips red. He gave her one last peck and turned to leave.

"Be careful," she called after him.

"I will."

She stood there for a moment before cleaning up their mess from dinner. Tris was both wide awake and exhausted when she flopped into bed afterwards. She looked at her own watch; if she skipped the gym, she could get five more hours of sleep. She curled around a pillow after some time, trying to bring back the comfort and warmth that came from sleeping with Tobias. She smiled, feeling the heat on the back of her neck, wishing these things didn't embarrass her so easily when they felt so natural.

Tobias skidded to a halt, his bag falling off his shoulder. "Cutting it a little close," Amar quipped, not looking up from his tablet. Tobias narrowed his eyes but said nothing. They loaded the vans with their supplies and went over the routes again before checking for the third time that there was enough ammunition for each person on the mission. When they were given the all clear, Amar shook his hand, looking him right in the eye. "Good luck and safe travels." Tobias gave him a firm nod.

He and Matthew were in the same van as George. They weren't free to discuss much, but exchanged looks often when George would speak up, designating the types of people they would need to pull samples from, and from which areas of the city. "Why Indianapolis again?" Tobias asked.

"We're just trying to get a more comprehensive overview of the entire city."

"Why only certain demographics, then?" George looked up from his tablet. Tobias kept his face neutral; if they were going to get anywhere, one of them was going to have to start asking questions.

"Right now we're just seeking out the worst and checking for improvements. It's why we've been in some of the rougher neighborhoods." Tobias nodded, acting satisfied.

His eyes flicked to Matthew who was pretending to busy himself with his own work. He gave him a subtle nod, though, and Tobias knew he was paying attention. He wondered if perhaps their results weren't being manipulated, but their sample sizes were.

 

* * *

 

Tris sat in front of her screen, watching her brother do the same boring thing for the sixth day in a row; she'd had no idea how monotonous things were in Erudite. Listening to the conversations around her, she realized that almost nobody was discounting the good things Erudite had done for the city, often commenting that they had to keep in mind that not everyone was a part of whatever was happening between them and Dauntless. She couldn't help but wonder what their exact motivations were. She had a feeling David knew more than he was letting on; he always seemed to dangle whatever information he had right over her head without giving her a chance to reach up and grab it.

Caleb stood up, snatching a piece of paper before running out of the room he was working in; the other Erudite were just as confused as she was. The cameras were set to auto-track him with facial recognition, so Tris waited until the program could catch up and find him again. The last she saw of him, he was pressing a code into a keypad and going into Jeanine's office.

"Great," she muttered. "Unrestricted access, too."

"It is a problem, isn't it?" She turned to see David standing behind her. "Why don't you take a break? You and I can have lunch and discuss this."

Tris was nervous as she followed David to his office instead of the cafeteria. Zoe came in moments later with two plates, setting one down in front of each of them. Tris smiled, clearing her throat when she didn't recognize what was in front of her.

"Steak," David said, picking up his fork and knife. She watched him cut it, placing a piece of the pink meat in his mouth before picking up her own utensils. She had never seen it before, not in the city, nor in the cafeteria. David watched her for a moment as she cut the smallest piece possible, tasting it.

"It's beef. But this comes from the finest part of the cow, the most tender, the most desired. It's a rare treat to have this anymore, as most beef is just ground up and used as filler for whatever meal is being prepared. It's also very expensive." The situation was awkward; Tris felt as though she were being rewarded, only she didn't know for what. She took another bite.

"Tell me, what have you observed lately?"

"With Caleb?" David nodded. "Honestly? Nothing more than you already know. He doesn't seem all that different than when we were growing up. He's just in blue now."

"Did he have many friends in Abnegation?"

"No. None of us did." Tris wondered why he asked this question. Even at the Bureau it was obvious how the Abnegation interacted with each other.

"I see. And does he seem to be getting along with his new faction mates?"

Tris shrugged. "I haven't seen him do much outside of the labs."

David eyed her for a moment before asking his final question. "Would you consider your brother to be someone who is loyal?"

Tris furrowed her brow. David's questions weren't making any sense to her. "I would say yes, but things are different now. I feel like I don't really know the person I see on the screen."

David nodded, taking a moment to digest her answer. "How different is he, say, compared to you?"

Tris set down her knife and fork. "I'm not sure I understand what you're trying to ask me."

David smiled, setting his own utensils down. "What I mean, Miss Prior, is are you also loyal?"

Tris could feel a lump forming in her throat. She swallowed hard, trying to keep her face as neutral as possible. She wished she could come up with a reason for David's questions, but her mind was drawing a blank. "Well, I, umm… I'm still not sure what you are trying to ask me." She was quiet as David sat forward; it felt like his eyes were piercing right through her.

"It's a very simple, straightforward question. Are. You. Loyal?" He punctuated every word as though she were unable to comprehend them.

"Yes," she said, uncertainty lacing her voice.

"Good." He didn't elaborate, making her even more nervous.

They sat, unmoving, staring at each other as Tris tried to wrap her head around what was going on. The only thing she could come up with was that David was going to ask her to do something that she didn't want to do, or he was trying to test her, to find out where her loyalties truly lay. She knew, though, that this was part of the risk of getting close to him.

"What is it that you want, David?" she finally asked. She was tired of the cat and mouse game he was playing.

His face broke into a wide grin. "There's that superiority, showing itself yet again." He pulled a folder out from a drawer and set it next to her plate. She opened it to reveal a date and a time. She looked up at him, expecting more information.

"It's time I send someone into the city to keep a closer eye on things. There are things happening that we cannot monitor from our position on the outside. It only makes sense to put our best asset — you — to work."

"Oh." She looked back at the date again; it was just shy of two weeks later. "Where?"

"Erudite."

Tris looked up at him, incredulity on her face. "That won't work. My brother's there, and he's close to Jeanine. He'll notice me."

"Easily fixable," David dismissed.

Tris shook her head, disliking that David had not only referred to her _again_ as merely an asset to be deployed, but that he had made plans that involved her without even asking. "What if I don't want to?" The truth was the idea appealed to her, but not at the risk of hurting her brother or anyone else. She sat up taller, holding her head up as David examined her.

"You will," he said, leaning back in his chair.

"What makes you say that?"

"You think I haven't seen your fears, Miss Prior?" Tris felt her blood run cold. She knew Matthew had sent a summary of her fear simulations, but she didn't think David would actually view the footage, too. "You think I don't know about your little trysts, or your incessant need to surround yourself with undesirables? Your purity has no business being dragged down to their level. You are _far_ better than that, and it is time you start acting like it. Besides," he added, the corner of his mouth twitching up just slightly, "There are certain… vulnerabilities I can exploit, if necessary. You are really in no position to decide anything."

"What vulnerabilities?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. Her heart was hammering so hard, it was practically all she could hear. David only smiled. "What vulnerabilities?!" she yelled this time, flying to her feet. The gleam of her knife caught her eye; she briefly considered using it.

David shrugged. "Certainly, Miss Prior, this should be an easy problem for you to solve." She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, unwilling to play his game; David shook his head at her condescendingly. "Four has surrounded himself with people who answer to me and me alone. All it would take is a very simple command."

It took every ounce of willpower she possessed to keep her hands to herself. "You wouldn't."

"Well, what I do depends solely on you."

Tris wondered if David knew about Matthew, and if he was in danger as well. Even worse, she let the idea cross her mind that Matthew might not be the person she thought he was. She felt stupid, like she had been played from the moment she walked into the Bureau. "Fine," she muttered through gritted teeth. She hated herself for giving in so easily, but she wasn't going to allow anyone to be hurt simply because she was being stubborn and trying to prove a point.

"Perfect," he said, picking up his utensils again. "I'll call a meeting as soon as Four returns home, and we can tell him together."


	21. Weigh Down in my Soul

Tris only looked like she was watching the screens. In reality, her mind was all over the place, trying to think of the best way to tell Tobias what had happened between her and David without upsetting him. And he would be upset, that much she knew. She was also piecing together every interaction she'd had with him and Matthew, trying to gauge what felt genuine and what didn't. She hated how David used her weaknesses against her, that he was able to make her doubt even for the briefest moment that what she and Tobias had wasn't real. It _was_ real, she was certain of it.

She focused enough to see her brother finally emerge from Jeanine's office, a wide, proud smile on his face. She rolled her eyes; it was irritating to see him having so much success when she should be the one doing great things. She was the one who was chosen, after all. She sighed and looked at the time, shaking those thoughts from her head; she _wasn't_ the chosen one, everyone just thought she was. It was close enough for her to be done for the day, so she turned her screen off and stalked back to her room, not wanting to sit alone in the cafeteria again.

It was late when her stomach let out a loud growl, and she couldn't ignore her hunger any longer. She tied her hair up and pulled on a sweatshirt before trudging out to the cafeteria. "Great," she muttered, pulling on the locked door anyway. She peered inside the little window to see everything dark; the whole Bureau seemed to be slowly shutting down at this hour.

"Tris?" She turned to see Emma behind her, holding a box and smiling. "Hungry?"

"Oh, yeah. I wasn't earlier, but I didn't even think about the cafeteria closing."

"No need to worry. Come with me." Tris gave her a rueful grin and followed.

They ended up in Emma's tattoo room, where Tris helped her put away the supplies that were in the box. Emma made small talk about tattoos, and checked to make sure Tris's had healed properly before leading her down into the underground and taking a seat at the table closest to the bar. "Snack or full-on meal?" Emma asked, waving someone down.

"Umm, meal?"

Tris watched as the guy working behind the bar came out, leaning down so Emma could whisper in his ear. He looked at Tris and gave her a friendly smile before quickly coming back with two drinks. Tris sniffed hers; the unmistakable aroma of alcohol filled the glass. She looked up to see Emma tip her glass towards her and take a sip; she did the same.

"So, it seems like you had a rough day today." Tris raised an eyebrow, but Emma gave her a look that was stern yet motherly; it was an unspoken order to talk. It actually made Tris nostalgic for the few times she got in trouble as a kid.

"Sort of," she admitted. "I just… is the Bureau what you thought it would be?"

"Eh," Emma said, shrugging her shoulders. "It is what it is. I do know that it's better than living on the streets or wandering around with no place to go. But that's not the life you came from, is it?"

"No."

Emma nodded. "I think it's an adjustment, no matter what. Give it a little time."

Tris smiled to be polite, knowing that time was not an option. They sipped their drinks, smiling at each other and watching the people come and go. It wasn't as uncomfortable as Tris thought it might be, but it wasn't as easy as it was with Tobias, either. Tris was thankful for something to do when the food arrived. "Thank you," she said, taking a bite of her sandwich. Emma tipped her head and took a bite of her own.

"How'd I know you'd be here?" Tris turned to see Ruby approaching their table. She handed Emma a tube, like the one Tris used after she got her tattoo.

"You didn't know," Emma replied. "You just got lucky."

The two women laughed as Ruby sat down. Tris took another bite of her sandwich, observing the exchange of small jokes and general banter between them. It was unfamiliar to her, but they made it look so easy.

"You're awfully quiet over there," Ruby said, sliding her chair a little closer to Tris. "I know that look. It's the same look we all get at some point."

"Tris is having a day." Ruby looked at Emma, who gave her a wink.

"You want to talk about it?" Tris shrugged. "That's okay, you don't have to. Sometimes just being around other people is enough. But if you want to, me and Em have fantastic listening ears."

Tris watched the two of them slip back into their conversation about nothing in particular, realizing that she never really had a friend before the Bureau. Sure, she had seen Susan and Robert on a daily basis, but they were still just acquaintances at best. They never talked about anything other than volunteering or schoolwork. Tris didn't even know if they had a favorite color or food or _anything_ ; she never had a chance to find out since it was too selfish to ask or even think about that sort of thing. She wondered for a moment if she would ever make friends easily, or if this was the expected side effect of growing up in Abnegation.

"So, you got a tattoo?" Tris chimed in; she decided it couldn't hurt to put in a little effort.

Ruby rewarded her with a wide smile. "I sure did. Want to see it?" Tris nodded.

Ruby stood and started unbuckling her pants in front of everyone. Tris's eyes flicked to the right for a moment, taking a quick inventory of the people closest to them and whether they were paying attention or not. When she looked back, Ruby had her right hip exposed, revealing a heart with ' _R+B_ ' written inside of it.

Tris thought for a moment before looking up. "Ruby plus Benjamin?"

Ruby nodded excitedly, buckling back up and sitting down. "Thought I'd surprise him when he gets back."

"It healed fast," Emma commented.

"Yeah. I mixed in some of the healing salve from the medic kits. You should think about adding it into the ointment. Cuts healing time in half, easily. Oh, and I talked to Greta. She said her shipment of rings should be here any day now. Maybe before he gets back I can get them, too, and surprise him with both."

"Oh, that's wonderful," Emma said. She and Ruby exchanged a smile and a hug.

Tris only knew of one use for rings. "Rings for what?" she asked, taking a sip.

"I'm going to ask him to marry me." Tris nearly choked on her drink. She couldn't remember where she had heard it, but she thought the two of them had only recently started dating.

"You okay?" Ruby said with a laugh. "They do marry in Abnegation, right? It can't come as that much of a shock."

"No," Tris said, her voice a little strained; she cleared her throat. "It's not a shock, I, um… I thought you two just started seeing each other."

"So?" Ruby said. Tris looked between the two of them; her inexperience with how the world worked outside of Abnegation obvious.

"Tris, it's a little hard to explain, but time really has nothing to do with it. When it's right, you just know. I love him, despite how dumb he is sometimes," she said, chuckling, "And I know that he loves me. Why wait to do the inevitable?" Tris broke into a genuine smile for the first time all night. Emma was nodding her head in agreement, and the table next to them raised their glasses in a toast to Ruby's overheard words. Tris raised her glass, too, giving a cheer of congratulations to her new friend.

"Sometimes," Ruby said, "You just gotta follow your heart."

 

* * *

 

 

Tris's stomach was in knots as she waited. Amar had found her that morning in the cafeteria and told her that Four was on his way back a day earlier than scheduled; the team should be arriving no later than nine that evening. She wasn't sure how she was going to look Tobias in the eye and tell him what had happened between her and David. She was actually trying to find the best way to avoid bringing anything up at all since she knew that he would not take the news well. David had informed her that he was holding a meeting with staff and security the next morning so they could begin preparing her for the transfer.

She idly watched the screens in front of her, trying to familiarize herself with as much of Erudite as she could. It was a two-fold plan: she could claim to be doing research while still watching for Tobias's arrival. She was mostly ignored, except for Neil, who made sure she at least had some water. She was grateful for how kind he was to her.

She saw the commotion out of the corner of her eye before she heard it; heads were turning and people were suddenly moving. She pulled her headphones off and looked up to see a weary Tobias, eyes already locked onto her. Her heart thumped hard in her chest as she stood; it took everything she had to stay in place. Amar was suddenly between the two of them, taking tablets and other equipment as they were held out to him.

"Debrief!" Amar called out, turning to look directly at her. She sat quickly, trying to remain calm as she watched them pass by.

"Hey." She looked over to see Matthew motioning with his head for her to follow. She hesitated for only a moment, then cleared her screen and made her way down the halls to his office. There was nothing about Matthew that seemed off, nothing in her reflections of her time at the Bureau that told her she had to be wary of him: still, she kept the idea in the back of her mind.

"How was it?" she asked as soon as she had closed the door.

"Uneventful, thankfully. But our little theory might have a flaw in it." Tris drew her eyebrows together, frowning. "Sample sizes are off. They're purposely choosing who they believe to be the most 'undesirable' for all of their data."

"So what does that mean?"

"We might be looking into a bunch of nothing."

Tris groaned and flopped in a chair as Matthew explained that, based on the information he learned, he could no longer prove any of their theories correct or incorrect. There were too many new variables that could easily account for the data anomalies they had discovered. Still, she didn't trust the information they had found, and neither did Matthew. He set a case down and opened it up, revealing row upon row of vials, each filled with blood. Tris scrunched her nose.

"It's a shame I won't be able to get the results of these, run my own personal tests," he said, running a hand over them. "There's something that I'm missing, I'm sure of it."

"We'll figure it out," she said, not really believing her own words. Their plan was falling apart, and she was stuck in a situation she didn't want to be in.

Watching the frustrated look on his face and hearing the slight strain in his voice told Tris that she had been right to trust Matthew, and that she was a fool for letting David get inside of her head. She opened her mouth a few times, unsure how to tell him what had happened between her and David, or how to apologize for doubting the intentions of everyone around her. Tris knew there was a small chance she might be able to gain some information by heading back into the city; it seemed like Erudite had just as many secrets as the Bureau. She reasoned with herself that if she could get Matthew to understand the benefit of going inside the city, then she could get Tobias to understand, too.

"I'm beat," he said, breaking her out of her thoughts. "Catch up more tomorrow?"

"Oh, sure." She stood and gave Matthew a quick nod before heading out.

She had no idea how long Tobias would be in his meeting with Amar, and she wasn't sure she could sit still long enough to wait. She roamed the hallways, running various conversations through her head. She knew if she told him about David's ultimatum outright — that he was forcing her to go to Erudite — he would get angry and tell her not to do it. She wouldn't blame him for his reaction, but she needed to find another way to make him understand why she was going, and for him to be okay with it.

Her eyes were heavy as she turned down the hall to her room. She paused as soon as she looked up; Tobias was sitting on the floor leaning against her door. She made her way to him slowly, catching his eye when she got closer. He looked older somehow: worried, perhaps. His eyes brightened, though, when she gave him a soft smile. "Thought you were avoiding me," he said as he stood.

She slid her card to open her door. "No. Just giving you time to do what you needed to do."

She flipped the switch by the door, turning on the dim light over her sitting area. Tobias's arms snaked around her middle as soon as the door closed, and he planted a kiss on her temple. Tris sighed, closing her eyes, appreciating every point of contact.

"I missed you," he whispered. She turned, bringing both hands up to rest on his face. His own sigh was stuttered as he leaned forward, resting his head against hers. She looked at his closed eyes, the small upturn of his lips, the total contentment written over every inch of his face. She couldn't tell him, not now; he deserved this moment of serenity. She smiled when he let out a yawn.

"You look exhausted," she said, taking in his disheveled clothing and his hair sticking up in the back. "You should get some sleep. We can pick this up tomorrow."

"I don't want to leave," he murmured, pulling her into him. Falling asleep with her on the couch, even for only a few hours, had granted him the best sleep of his life. He was content to take her to bed and just hold her close. "I'd sleep better if I was with you."

Any other day, she would have agreed with him. But Tris knew she'd be tossing and turning like she had the past couple nights, her decision made even more difficult by his body wrapped around hers. She did all she could to ignore the part of her that was desperate to have him that close to her, and told him no. "You need a good night's sleep," she reasoned. "I doubt you had one all week." He exhaled heavily, nodding in agreement.

Tobias ran his hands up her back and into her hair, threading his fingers into it. She sighed again, and was cut off by his mouth. There was no single way to describe what he felt when he touched her or when they kissed. It was fire and electricity, but more than that, it made him feel like he was complete, like he was wanted. Like he was more than just a monstrous reflection of his father's mistakes or his own damaged genes. She pulled him closer, fueling his feelings and his desires as he pressed himself against her, his want hardly hidden; her hum of approval had him hopeful.

"Tobias," she whispered, still holding him against her. "It's late." Her lips begged to touch his, to keep them pressed against each other as long as they could. But her heart was racing for more than one reason; her purposeful silence had created a nervousness inside of her that she wasn't sure she could overcome at that moment, no matter how badly she wanted to. Tobias nodded, pulling away. It was for the best, she thought, as she looked at his bloodshot eyes.

"I'm meeting David first thing in the morning." She ducked her head, swallowing thickly. "So I'll see you at breakfast, okay?"

He narrowed his eyes for a moment, then nodded. "See you at breakfast." He gave her one last kiss on the forehead before leaving her alone.

She woke often, sweating from nightmares full of fear and dread. Reliving her fears — watching David drag Tobias away from her every time she closed her eyes — was unbearable. She finally gave up in the early hours of the morning, opting to sit on the floor of her shower. The hot water beat down on her, melding with her tears. Guilt wasn't a feeling she was familiar with, but she had never lied like this before, even if it was only by omission. Her stomach was in knots, keeping her locked in place, afraid to face the day. Afraid to face Tobias.

Tris stayed in her room all morning, finding Tobias in the cafeteria only a few minutes before they had to leave for the meeting. "Hey, you okay?" he asked, checking her over as she sat. "I was worried."

"Oh, yeah. Meeting just ran late."

She brushed the question aside like it was nothing, but she could feel her stomach tighten. She looked anywhere but at him, only noticing Matthew was there when she locked eyes with him. He was skeptical; he knew of no meetings aside from the one with David coming up shortly.

"I have to get to class." She stood, turning from Tobias and quickly made her way through the halls. She looked back every few minutes to make sure she wasn't followed, breathing a sigh of relief when she saw she was in the clear. The lies were coming easier; practice for Erudite, she tried to justify. But this wasn't lying to keep a cover or to unravel a mystery — it was lying to Tobias, and it was happening with alarming frequency. She bit the inside of her cheek, trying to do anything to distract herself from how horrible she felt.

She followed David through the halls, standing with the other members of his council. Tris looked around and saw Tobias and Amar talking in low voices to each other, a handful of the scientists and other personnel she had seen running around the compound, and Matthew trying to look nonchalant in the back. She ducked her head and pretended to busy herself with something until David cleared his throat, silencing all conversations.

"Thank you all for meeting this morning, some of you on such short notice. I have news that is of the utmost importance and concern, and it affects every department here. The experiment in Chicago has taken a drastic turn for the worse, I am sorry to report." Tris lifted her head at David's words, unaware of anything drastic having occurred. "Observations and analysis have shown that the leader of Erudite has been meeting regularly with the leaders of Dauntless. During one of these meetings, a vial was exchanged. Since that moment, it has been our priority to discover exactly what was in that vial, and we believe we received an answer late last night."

David touched a large screen behind him and stood aside as video began to play. At first it showed everything she had already seen, including her brother being present for the serum transfer in Dauntless. What came after was video alternating between Erudite and Dauntless, showing testing being done on members. They were injected with an amber-colored serum, which seemed to do nothing at first. But when the test subjects were instructed to do whatever they were told — jump, lie down, hold a gun to their head — they obeyed without hesitation. Tris's eyes went wide when a greasy-looking man covered in facial piercings ordered a person in Dauntless to shoot themselves; he laughed when the person pulled the trigger, though the gun wasn't loaded.

"It's definitely some sort of susceptibility serum, coupled with a program that allows the subject to be controlled. It has come to our attention through intercepted correspondence that they plan to use this serum, once perfected, on all of the Dauntless."

"For what purpose?" one of the scientists called out.

"As best as we can tell, to create an army."

Murmurs broke out across the room, and David raised his hands to quiet everyone down. "Now, we're all very much aware of what can happen next with the experiment, and we are going to do everything we can to help prevent that, which is why I have called you all here today." Tris kept her eyes down, not ready to face the inevitable stares and questions that were to come. She wiped her hands on her pants, and closed her eyes for a moment, trying to calm her nerves.

"If we could place a spy in Erudite's midst, we would be able to gather accurate information in a more timely manner, have the ability to control problems before they arise, and most importantly, stop future plans from progressing. It's been done before with moderate success, but never with someone who has an actual aptitude for Erudite." The talking grew a little louder, and Trisknew Tobias was looking right at her; she could feel the heat of his stare. "I asked for volunteers, and a candidate was selected based on those that offered their services. With the approval of the council, I am pleased to say that we have accepted Beatrice Prior's offer, and have already begun preparations for her immediate insertion into Erudite."

The scientists began asking David a slew of questions, none of which she could fully understand. They felt like words she could barely recognize as nerves and adrenaline were warring inside of her. She lifted her eyes to see a room in chaos in her peripheral vision as they talked amongst themselves, passing tablets back and forth in small groups. It was all secondary and insignificant, though, compared to the deep blue eyes that were locked onto hers, and the pain and the betrayal she could feel radiating from every inch of him. She bit her lip, blinking away the heat she could feel building behind her eyes.

She finally felt her lowest when he shook his head and turned, leaving despite Amar's protests. She opened her mouth to call to him, but nothing came out. Matthew didn't even attempt to stop Tobias as he passed by, knowing it would be useless to try. Instead, he watched Tris stand there, shrinking into herself while the others congratulated her as if it were some grand reward to be going back inside the city when the danger for people like her was at an all time high. It struck him as odd that David would send her into the city with such urgency. Matthew shifted his focus away from Tris just in time to see the satisfied grin crossing David's face; it caused the hair on the back of his neck to stand up. If David had ulterior motives for sending Tris into Erudite, Tobias's feelings were going to be the least of her worries.


	22. A Cautionary Tale

Tris sat still while she was bombarded with so much information that she thought her head might explode. She had been learning all she thought she needed to know, but with Erudite's initiation coming to an end, she had just under two weeks to learn enough to pass herself off as a brand new member. The council and the scientists were collaborating on who would escort her inside the wall, who would administer the memory serum, and what her backstory would be. She would obviously be a transfer, they agreed, so most of the members — outside of the ones involved in initiation — wouldn't need to be modified. It was explicitly told to her that she was to be small, unassuming, a complete loner; Jeanine would be the only person they would be unable to use memory serum on, and they knew it was going to be an issue. She had to appear as if she were always invisible; their hope was that the Erudite members would assume she was just a quiet kid and that's why they didn't have many memories of interacting with her.

They continued making plans on how to forge her paperwork, add in schoolwork and test results so it looked like she was always there, and figure out how to get her at the right levels for her permanent job placement. It was exhausting listening to all their ideas.

"The only way this could work is if she came from Abnegation," she heard someone yell out.

"Can't. Not with the tension between the two factions. Besides, they could ask the brother if he knew her. Conflict."

"Amity?" another called out. That seemed to spark something, causing them to go back and forth as Candor was a possibility, too.

"She doesn't have an aptitude for any of this!" she heard.

"Adopted!" another one shouted. Tris closed her eyes and shook her head. She was beginning to think she was going to need a dose of memory serum for herself just to keep whatever story they came up with straight.

Hours passed before she was able to leave. She couldn't wait to get away from it all, especially David. Tris tried to stay as engaged as she could, but he was always around, hovering, listening, watching her every time he caught her eye. It made her nervous. It also made her feel like everything rested entirely upon her; if she were to fail, she worried there would be serious ramifications on the people she cared about most, both inside the city and out.

She had dozens of files sent to her tablet before she was to leave, most of them containing facts about Erudite that she would have learned in their initiation, maps to memorize, names to learn, an area of study she would be sorted into; it was absolutely overwhelming. A gene therapy position would put her closest to Jeanine, but there was no way to cram that much information into her head in such a short amount of time. They settled for the area of Erudite that focused solely on maintaining the archives, creating new records, and updating existing ones. This included spending time with the scientists, recording them in the act of discovery to preserve it all for future generations, and also taking notes from an outsider's point of view. It was close enough so she could keep an eye on things, while affording her an opportunity to ask questions without actually being required to do much of anything.

She trudged to the cafeteria with a promise to study all afternoon and evening. She didn't even look as she piled food onto her plate, making her way to the empty table that she had sat at for eight days straight. She tossed her tray down and sat, staring off as she mindlessly picked at her food.

"Let me guess, you knew and you didn't say anything." Matthew slid into the seat next to her. She eyed him for a moment before nodding. "You should have told him."

"I don't need you to tell me that," she hissed. Her face was a mixture of anger and regret.

Matthew sighed. "I'm not going to tell you what to do, and I'm not here to criticize your choices. I'm just saying that Four is very… sensitive." She snorted. "I know how he came to be at the Bureau, and I've been around him enough to notice how closed off he is, Tris. I know it's not in him to trust so easily."

Tris pushed her food around for a moment before finally giving up and tossing her fork down. She knew Matthew was right, and she didn't need him to remind her how awful his life had been. Tris put her elbows on the table and covered her face, digging the heels of her hands into her eyes to try and stave off the tears she could feel building.

"I couldn't… I didn't know how," she sighed, her hands flopping down into her lap. "He's very protective."

"Exactly. You could have, you know, talked. Figured it out together instead of having someone else lay it all on him at once and letting him be caught totally off-guard."

She bit her lip, nodding slowly, the knot resuming its normal place in her gut. "Yeah, I know. It's just that he was so happy to be back, Matthew, and I didn't want to ruin that."

"Fair enough, but this morning?" She averted her eyes, her guilty conscience betraying her.

They sat in silence until Matthew finished eating; her food remained untouched. He stopped and started more times than he could count, wanting to reassure her that things would be fine, but he couldn't find it in him to say it out loud; he knew, perhaps more than anyone, how much a single lie could alter everything. "Tris," he said, catching her just as she turned to leave. "Nothing good ever came from lying." She nodded and spun on her heel, keeping her head down the entire way to her apartment.

She let out her frustrations as soon as she walked in the door, her guttural scream muffled by the pillow she held to her face. Tris cried, hoping that would do it — that she could get it all out in one fell swoop and be done. She splashed some water on her face after a while and then sat down, determined to go through the information on her tablet as best as she could.

Dinner was lonely and uneventful; she expected Tobias to be absent, but not Matthew. She took a few bites to try and keep her strength up, but ended up tossing out most of her food; it made her feel wasteful as she thought about how many factionless could be enjoying what she had discarded during the day.

She meandered through the halls afterwards, avoiding her responsibilities while she still could; she had a feeling the Erudite wouldn't be as lax as they were at the Bureau, if you could even call it that. Eventually she found her way down into the underground, searching for signs of anyone she knew; she wasn't sure if she was relieved or worried to see Amar's gaze piercing her from the far corner of the bar. She saw him take a deep breath before motioning her over; she pulled out the chair across from him and sat.

He eyed her for a moment. "It's a dangerous game you two are playing," he whispered, just loud enough for her to hear over the ruckus to her left.

"Why? Why does everyone keep saying that?" she responded, equally hushed.

Amar shook his head once. "You've made friends with Matthew, that's good. He's an amazing scientist," he said loudly.

She narrowed her eyes. "Yeah. It's been a little awkward, but I'm adjusting. And he's managed to teach me a lot."

"Good," he said, looking her straight in the eye. "If you're ever confused about anything, I'm sure all you'd have to do is ask him."

She nodded, understanding what he meant completely. She went to stand, but he held her gaze as a drink arrived, motioning that it was for her; she decided that she could take a moment, perhaps learn something about the person Tobias seemed to care a great deal for. "He okay?" she asked, sipping her drink.

"Not even close." She set the cup down, its contents suddenly unappealing. "But like most things in life, sometimes it just takes time." She shook her head; another reminder of just how little time she had left.

"Tris!" She tensed at the screeching sound of her name being called, and turned her head to see Ruby and Jones, clearly drunk and making their way towards her. "He said yes!" They held their hands out, showing off the two plain gold bands they were wearing.

"Congratulations," Tris said, plastering a smile on her face. "You already got married?"

"Yep. About an hour ago," Jones answered. "Amar!" he called out, as though he just noticed him sitting there.

"Jones," he said, tipping his glass, "Baker. Congratulations."

"You have to celebrate with us." Tris shook her head. "Please," Ruby begged, sticking her lip out. "It would be your gift to us." She looked at Amar, who merely shrugged.

Tris made Amar join them, too; she wasn't going to be alone in a potentially awkward situation, and she was sure he could find a more tactful way of exiting than she could. One congratulatory drink quickly turned into three, and with the lack of food in her system, she was wobbly on her feet. She tucked herself away in a corner and laughed along with the group, regardless of whether she understood what they were saying, and turned a deep shade of red when someone started going into detail on just how they should spend their first evening as newlyweds.

"It sounds worse when you say it out loud," Amar said from next to her. "Why do all the best parts have the worst sounding names?" She burst into a fit of giggles, unable to get it under control for quite some time. Eventually their talk turned into someone running to find a tablet and videos being passed around.

"O-oh," Tris sputtered, tilting her head and scrunching her eyes, trying to make sense of what was on the video being put in front of her. She tentatively took the tablet and watched for a moment; it was definitely not the educational adventure she was planning on having that evening.

"Once a Stiff, always a Stiff," someone yelled out, causing the group to laugh at her expense.

"Hey!" Amar's loud voice chastised before she could open her mouth. "This Stiff has more balls than all of you put together."

She had no idea where his outburst came from, but they fell silent, the moans and grunts of the video filling the quiet void. Tris gave it one last look before passing it on.

"Thank you, I think," she said once the group turned their focus back to the tablet. She turned her head to see Amar's hard stare, fixated across the room. She leaned up on her toes to follow his gaze and her stomach dropped; Tobias was making his way across the room, sitting down at a table with another girl.

"I gotta go," she said, the light, dizzy feeling she had earlier completely gone. "Congratulations," she said again, before slinking through the crowd and running back to her room as fast as she could.

Amar watched her leave, feeling the hurt of his own rejection mirrored in hers. It took a sharp turn into anger as he crossed the room, making a direct line for Tobias. "Are you dense?" he belted out, catching Tobias off-guard.

"That's debatable," Tobias retorted, looking at Amar like he was crazy.

"What are you doing?" Amar's eyes went from Tobias to the brunette he was sitting with and back again.

"Having a conversation. Amar, just get to it."

"Tris was here." Tobias felt his heart give a hard thump against his chest. His eyes searched the room to no avail. "She already left." Amar's voice was hard, cold. Tobias could see the anger in his eyes, but underneath, there was hurt.

"It's not what you think."

"Doesn't matter what _I_ think."

Tobias found himself getting angry. Amar had no right to accuse him, and Tris had no right to jump to conclusions. Not after what she had done that morning. "I'm allowed to make decisions that don't include her. She clearly doesn't need my input on her choices."

"That's bullshit, and you know it. Stop acting like a two-year-old who didn't get his way. So what, she didn't tell you something. You ever stop to think why that is, Four?"

Tobias let his eyes drop. He knew he wasn't the easiest person to get along with, but that didn't excuse what Tris had done. She had betrayed the trust he had extended to her.

"Who is Tris?" the girl asked. Amar turned his head, leveling Nita with a glare after finally taking a moment to scrutinize who was sitting there. She had always had a thing for Tobias, and clearly he was not thinking straight enough to keep her at the usual arm's length.

"It's not important," Tobias answered. "Now, if you'll excuse us." Amar narrowed his eyes, shooting one last glare at Nita's smiling face before leaving them.

Tobias woke the next morning, determined to shake the melancholy that had settled over him in the middle of the night. The more time he spent thinking about how things had happened between him and Tris, the angrier he found himself becoming; he had let down his guard for her, trusted her with every secret he held, and in return she had set fire to everything they had built.

There was hurt and anger in his every movement, from the way he snatched the shampoo bottle up to the way he dug his fingers into his scalp, trying to scrape away everything about the previous day. The desire to be close to her still lingered, though; he closed his eyes and sighed, trying to make sense of the whirlwind of emotions he was feeling. He pulled his shoes on at a lazy pace, stalling for a moment before he walked out the door. Looking down the hallway towards Tris's unit, his anger came back full force. Fuck it, he thought. He was fine before her, and he'd be fine after her. 

He was met with silence and a cold shoulder from Amar when he showed up for work; he had to clench his jaw to bite back the words that were running through his head. It wasn't any of Amar's business what he was doing with Nita, and he certainly didn't owe him any explanations. Tobias glared at the back of his head before snatching up some paperwork and setting out on his day.

Tris didn't need to go anywhere in particular, and she had never been happier about being holed up in her room. Her head hurt as well as her eyes, and a quick glance in the mirror told her she looked as awful as she felt. She sipped on some peppermint tea, hoping to calm the knot that seemed to have taken up permanent residence in her gut. She replayed the fallout of her choices in her head, eventually opting to take a nap to clear her mind and rest her eyes.

It was almost time for Matthew to leave work when she awoke, so she scurried across the compound and knocked on his door, tablet in hand, under the guise of studying. He welcomed her into his office with a warm smile.

"Can I ask you something? It's personal, I think, so you don't have to answer if you don't want to." Matthew had a feeling he knew what Tris was going to ask about. He nodded and fished the necklace he wore out of his shirt, rolling it between two fingers; a nervous habit of his. "Tobias and I…" she stalled for a moment, giving him a bashful smile even though she was certain he already knew. "I understand the Bureau's rules and that we should be careful, but why? Why does everyone keep mentioning it like it's some huge, horrible secret? What are they afraid is going to happen?"

Matthew sighed. It was hardly the topic of conversation anymore, but it was always there, floating around the Bureau as a cautionary tale. He forced a smile for Tris, and took a deep breath. "I came to the Bureau about five years ago. I was the new kid, all smart and cocky. They labeled me a prodigy, since I was barely eighteen at the time and I knew more than most of the scientists they had working for them. It took me no time to settle in, advance, become the guy everyone came to for help. I let it get to my head a little bit, until I met her." Tris could already tell his story wasn't going to end well; Matthew never mentioned a girl, nor did she ever see him with anyone.

"Her name was Sarah. She just radiated positivity and had a smile that could stop you in your tracks. I introduced myself and asked her to dinner, and she shot me down." Matthew chuckled to himself, taking a moment to bask in the memory. "But being the cocky jerk I was back then, I didn't stop asking until she gave me a yes. Even though I knew it was a pity yes, I still felt on top of the world; this beautiful woman had said yes to me. We went down into the underground for our date, and she took a dig at me every chance she got, but it didn't deter me. I think towards the end she felt sorry for me, because she softened up a little, and we ended up having a genuine conversation.

"She ended up laying it all out for me right there, calling me out on my behavior, telling me I wasn't perfect just because I was GP and she wasn't. It stung, but it was the hard slap of reality I needed. I was embarrassed by being called out, of course, but I stopped walking around like I owned the place afterwards, and then it was her that noticed me. She worked janitorial, so she adjusted her schedule just to be around me. I fell in love with her so fast.

"It went on for, oh, six or seven months, until someone approached me, told me I needed to be more careful, that there were rules in place. I shrugged the warning off, because I was still a _little_ cocky. I mean, what was the Bureau going to do without their top geneticist? The same person had approached her as well, and it got her worried. _She_ was worried, about me," he said shaking his head. "But I just couldn't imagine my life without her, so I lied. Told her I had cleared our relationship with the council even though I knew they wouldn't allow it, since GP's have a duty to reproduce with other GP's, you know the drill. Anyway, about six weeks or so after we were approached, she vanished. Nobody knew anything, or so they claimed. I don't know if they relocated her, or tossed her out into one of the cities." His voice was quiet as he added, "Or if they… _hurt_ her." He couldn't bring himself to say the word he really wanted to say out loud.

"Oh, Matthew." Tris reached out and took his hand, fighting back tears. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you…"

"I know." He offered her a half-hearted smile and a squeeze, and for the first time, she noticed the necklace he wore wasn't black, but green — the same green the GD's wore. "Four's a smart guy, though," he reassured. "So I wouldn't worry too much."

But Tris did worry. She had his schedule memorized so she did everything she could to avoid Tobias; if they were apart, then he wasn't in danger. She asked Matthew or Amar if he was okay every chance she got, but they only offered her shrugs and noncommittal answers. It hurt more than anything to cut him out of her life, but it was worth the pain as long as the Bureau wasn't suspicious.

 

* * *

 

"We've prepared a test for you," David said as she sat down, all the scientists who were working on making sure her insertion into Erudite went smoothly spread out in front of her. He handed her a tablet which flashed a series of questions, ranging from people she should know from Erudite's history to things she should know about Amity. It was decided that since Erudite had no Amity transfers this year, it would be the easiest place for her to have come from.

She passed it effortlessly, having done nothing but study during the past week and a half. With Tobias pushed to the back of her mind, she ended up with nothing but time. The irony was painful.

"I'm glad to see you in such pleasant spirits," David said, taking the tablet and tapping on it. "To ensure your safety and the safety of the mission, we need to disguise you as best as we can."

"Okay…"

"So, as a reward, I thought it would be nice to let you decide."

He set the tablet down and a series of pictures came up; it took her a moment to realize they were all manipulations of her. She scrolled through the options: long black hair, choppy light blonde hair, brown eyes, green eyes. She looked up at the scientists who all seemed eager to learn her choices. "Is this permanent?" she asked.

"Semi-permanent. It's something that will have to be kept up on a schedule — the scientists can fill you in on that — but since the plan is to extract you once knowledge is gained, it shouldn't be an issue. You'll be able to resume your normal look, in time, when you return." She nodded and ended up choosing the picture that looked the least like her, while still looking natural in her eyes. "Perfect. Be at the labs at ten tomorrow morning. You're scheduled to leave at eleven pm, arriving within the city walls just after midnight, and then you'll be on your own. We'll go over everything one last time tomorrow, so enjoy your last night at the Bureau."

Tris nodded and stood, excusing herself to the little room outside of Erudite. She stared at the maps, examining how close yet how far she would be from her parents. A few tears fell as she played some music, but she kept her head high, her resolve to go through with her decision unwavering. Eventually she made her way back to her room to see a tired Matthew approaching from the other direction.

"Oh, thank God," he muttered. "I've been looking for you."

"Why? Is everything okay?"

"It's fine," he amended, realizing how quickly she panicked. "Sorry. I just wanted to wish you well before you left. Drink?" he said, holding up a bottle. She eyed Tobias's door as they passed it, and agreed.

She decided to change into something comfortable: a black tank and sleep pants. Matthew raised an eyebrow at her. "My last night as a 'free woman'," she said, rolling her eyes. "Might as well be comfortable."

Matthew handed her a cup, then held out his own. "Well, then, cheers to comfort." She tipped her cup and took a sip.

"So, you're leaving tomorrow."

"Yeah."

"Have you talked to Four?"

"No," she said curtly, even though she knew this conversation was coming. She wasn't in the mood to be chastised about her decisions.

"You need to. I don't care how upset you are with each other, you shouldn't leave like this."

"It's fine. I'm fine. He'll be here when I get back."

Matthew sighed, and set his glass down. "Tris—"

"Matthew, please. This is stressful enough without..." She paused, huffing out in defeat. "I know, okay? I know."

Matthew nodded. "I know you do."

They settled into small conversations about Erudite and the city, and Tris felt more connected to Matthew than she had at any other point since she had arrived. It was reminiscent of growing up with Caleb; he let her do her own thing, while secretly watching and looking out for her. She got a little emotional thinking about how close she would be to Caleb and how she would have to ignore him.

"Well, I don't think you could be any more prepared," he said, taking her still-full cup from her and dumping it into the sink. "It's getting late. You should try and get some sleep. Tomorrow's going to be a little hectic."

"Thanks."

They stood in front of each other, doing an awkward dance before Matthew finally pulled her in and squeezed her tight. "You're gonna do just fine," he whispered in her ear. "And we'll be here, watching."

She nodded against him, and squeezed back. "Keep an eye on him?"

"I'll do my best," he offered.

Tris watched him walk to her door; she felt like she was losing her family all over again. Tobias and Matthew — and even by some extension, Ruby and Jones and Emma — had replaced the people she loved the most. They were her second family, something she realized would have happened had she stayed in the city and chosen a faction other than Abnegation. It made her smile; she liked who she had ended up with.

"Crap, I almost forgot," Matthew said, turning around. He jogged back to her and pulled a tiny, folded-up slip of paper out of his pocket. "Memorize it, then burn it."

"What is it?" Tris felt her adrenaline spike.

"I can't guarantee it's still active, but it's how David used to contact your mother."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I recently saw a post on Tumblr about how some readers think it's odd or creepy or stalker-ish to leave a lot of comments on stories, or comment on older stories, or comment on every story an author has written, and I just wanted to address it for a hot second.
> 
> It's NEVER creepy to leave a comment! I'm fairly certain that I speak for everyone who posts stories on here or any other site when I say, we appreciate every single one! It is, for lack of a better term, our payment lol. We do this for fun and in our free time and because we love the characters we write about. But you guys leaving us comments not only gives us a little ego boost (come on now, it does haha), but it also helps us gauge what you guys like and don't like. It can help us decide which way to go with future stories, tell us if we have the portrayal of a character right or if it's just a little bit off, let us know that you prefer X character with Y character. The list is endless.
> 
> Don't ever be afraid to leave a comment on any story you read, no matter how old it is. We write them for us, yes, but we write them for you, too.
> 
> This has been a PSA. :P


	23. These Tears Come With Pain

Hope and happiness flooded her system. Tris hadn't thought about contacting her mother since she had found out it wasn't possible. She took the slip of paper from Matthew and opened it, taking in every letter written on it.

"Find a hiding spot, use a tablet, then destroy it," Matthew instructed. "But before you do that, attach this little guy to it." He held up a thin white square that was no larger than an inch; Tris raised an eyebrow. "You peel it off the paper and stick it on the back of the tablet. There's circuitry embedded inside that will commandeer the tablet, allowing the message to be sent to its recipient while simultaneously corrupting it on the way to Erudite's server. It's just a precaution, since they might be flagging anything being sent outside of the faction. Security is going to be tight tomorrow and you won't be allowed to bring anything of your own, so I'll make sure you get this when the time is right. Oh, and on the off chance that the Erudite might find the destroyed tablet, you need to make sure it's been wiped clean. A simple alcohol wipe will take your fingerprints right off." Tris nodded her head, her eyes falling to the piece of paper as soon as he stopped talking. Matthew touched her arm gently, pulling her attention back to him. "I know it's only a one-way message, but it's better than nothing."

"Thank you," Tris whispered.

"You're welcome. I'll see you tomorrow."

Tris stared at the paper Matthew gave her until she couldn't see straight, reading it over and over again. She took a shower, repeating it out loud, the spray masking the sound of her voice. When she was certain she knew it, that there was no way she would ever forget it, she burned the piece of paper, flushing the scraps and ashes for good measure.

She lay down in bed, running it through her head again just to be sure. She ran through the things she was supposed to know about Erudite and Amity, too, before running Matthew's conversation through her head. An hour passed, easily, and she was no closer to sleep than when she had first lain down — there was too much weighing heavily on her mind.

Tris knew there wouldn't be much time to try and set things right with Tobias in the morning. With hopes of clearing her conscience, she sighed and stood, sliding on a pair of shoes before grabbing her keycard and slipping out the door. She had no idea if Tobias would even answer; it was late and he could be asleep. Or out. She pushed her last thought away and knocked.

She bit her lip as she waited, wondering what she would do if he didn't answer. A small part of her felt like it would be a deserved punishment; if he didn't answer, then perhaps they weren't meant to work it out. But she knocked again, hopeful that wasn't the case. She still loved him. She was certain she always would.

She heard a loud bang, followed by the door cracking and Tobias's head peering out. She looked up at him; his eyes were red and ringed in dark circles, his hair wet and ruffled. "Oh," she said, "I didn't mean to interrupt. I'll just…" She gave him a tight smile and turned to leave.

"Tris." She paused, her heart beating out a nervous rhythm. "It's fine."

She nodded and turned back, the door held open for her. His apartment was dark, the only light coming from the cracked door of his bedroom. He brushed past her — shirtless, she realized — a towel in hand. She took in what she could see in the shadows: the defined muscles, his broad back, the colors of his ink. Its beauty and its story caused something in her chest to twist painfully. He emerged from the bathroom after a moment, watching her from afar. She could see the heavy rise and fall of his bare chest, momentarily causing her to forget why she was there.

"I'm sorry," she whispered after a moment. He made no move, so she continued. "I knew, and I didn't say anything. I didn't… I didn't want you to worry, and I didn't want you to get upset."

"You lied." She could hear the waver in his voice; it nearly broke her, knowing she had done that to him.

She swallowed down the lump that was forming in her throat. "I did."

Tobias stared at her; bathed in the soft glow from his room, he thought she had never looked more beautiful. But she had lied. He had bared his soul, told her everything about his past and showed her his fears, yet clearly, she didn't trust him. He felt the heat in his eyes and looked away from her; he wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of seeing him hurting.

"I should have told you, Tobias, but I didn't know how. I don't think I can even express how sorry I am. I'm just… I was trying to protect you."

"Protect?" he said, his voice laced with disbelief. "You don't need to protect me."

"Yes, I do. I talked to Amar, and he told me to ask Matthew why we needed to be careful."

She heard the groan, imagining the eye roll that went along with it. "Tris, you don't have to wor—"

"Yes, I do!" she interrupted. "Goddammit, Tobias, I care about you, don't you get that?"

"I know you care!" He rubbed his hand along the back of his neck, trying to maintain his composure.

"Then why do you act like I shouldn't worry about you? I get it, you can take care of yourself. But is it really so bad that I want to look out for you? Or that I'm scared that something will happen to you, too?"

Tobias hung his head. He hadn't really taken the time to see things from her point of view. He'd been so preoccupied with his thoughts about protecting _her_ that he never once realized she was just trying to do the same thing. It still didn't excuse her actions, though.

She was breathing heavily, her hair disheveled from running her hands through it in frustration. When Tobias didn't seem to care that she was trying to make amends and didn't offer up an apology of his own, she turned, heading for his door. "I really am sorry," she said over her shoulder, "And I hope that one day you can forgive me. Goodnight."

"Tris. Please wait."

She paused with one hand on the door as he went into his bedroom; she could hear him rummaging through something. He came out a moment later, a small box in his hand. He flipped on the light and opened it, revealing two smaller boxes inside. "It's an emergency communication device," he said, pulling the first box out. He opened it to reveal something that looked like a miniature tablet; the second box contained a small, circular mirror. "It's disguised to look like a mirror, but if you smash it, there's a button inside that sets this off, and it will let me know that you're in trouble."

He held the mirror out to her; she hesitated a moment before taking it. Its looks were deceiving; it was solid, heavy. She turned it over in her hand, examining it. "Where did you get this?"

"From the outside."

Tris looked up at him, confused. "When you went to Indianapolis?"

He sighed and shook his head. "No. From Nita."

She had never heard that name before, yet it instantly registered who he was talking about. "Oh." She stiffened, then held the mirror out to him, suddenly not wanting to touch it anymore.

"It wasn't what you thought it was," he said, shaking his head and pushing her hand away. "I had to have a couple of drinks with her to get it."

"You went on a _date_?"

Tobias shifted uncomfortably. He could see the doubt in Tris's face, the hurt that was there. His remorse was quickly replaced by anger when he recalled the reason he had needed to sneak around in the first place. It wasn't like he could have talked to her, since she had chosen to cut him out of her life without so much as a word.

"That's not fair," he spit. "You lied. You cut me out and—"

"Yes, and _clearly_ the appropriate response to that is to go out with someone else," she huffed, crossing her arms.

"And keeping secrets and not talking is any better?" he countered.

"Well, it's not like I knew how to tell you! This relationship thing is all new to me, and all I could focus on was that I didn't want to hurt you. But I never thought you'd just go out with someone else. Maybe that's just how you deal with your girlfriends... when you're... _done_ with them..." Tris trailed off, looking away, trying to keep her emotions under control.

Tobias scrunched his eyebrows together. "Girlfriends...what...? Tris, I don't know what delusion you're operating under, but this is all new to me, too. I didn't want to go out on a date with Nita, I just wanted to get this device for you. I only did what I had to do to get it. And maybe if you hadn't avoided me every chance you got, then we could have talked and worked this out, together. So don't pretend that you're so innocent in all of this."

"I know I'm not innocent, but it's not like you were in any rush to come find me, either!" She threw her hands up, completely frustrated. This was not how she had imagined her night would go. She closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. "Look, I'm sorry. I don't know how many more times I have to say it, but I am sorry, Tobias. I made a mistake that I can't undo. But I can't have it thrown in my face every chance you get, either. Do you have any idea how much stress I am under? This all rests on _me_. And what happens if I fail? Do I get hurt? Do you? I'll have nobody in there to answer my questions or help get me through it. I'll be all alone, and you'll be here..." She stopped, choking on her words, her eyes hot and stinging. Tris let out a small sob, unable to contain it anymore. She covered her face, trying to hide her worry, her fear.

Tobias dropped into the chair just behind him, his body heavy from the stress he'd been going through on his own. He let his guard down, feeling just as drained and emotional as she was. "Tris," he whispered. "Don't think for one moment that I don't understand what you're going through, because I do. But did you ever take a moment to stop and think about how it felt to have you decide to just… _leave_ me without saying a word?"

She lowered her hands to see Tobias looking up at her; she had never seen him look so vulnerable. His eyes were glossy, the weight of his words sitting like a boulder on her chest. Tris struggled to breathe as her eyes darted between his. Seeing the hurt behind them and the anguish that crossed his face was excruciating, and her tears began to fall faster. Her gut twisted into an agonizing knot, almost bringing Tris to her knees. The knowledge that she had done this to him, that she had hurt the person she cared about the most, filled her with a guilt so heavy it threatened to suffocate her. "I'm so sorry," she said. "I just…" she took a step back, shaking her head frantically.

Tobias panicked, watching her start to walk away; he didn't want this moment to be the last thing to happen between them. "Wait," he pleaded, his voice strangled as he leaned forward, grabbing her arm. She kept her head down as he pulled her towards him; he wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her torso. She draped her own arms around his neck, her hands gently cradling his head. His embrace offered her a warmth and security she desperately needed; she also hoped it signaled his forgiveness.

She felt his body trembling, his hands squeezing to secure himself to her. She heard a noise come from him: a sob, she thought, and it sparked a memory. Tris recalled the time she had heard him after Green died, when they still barely knew each other: was the thought of her leaving really as painful to him as someone dying? She set the mirror on the table as she sat down, straddling him in the chair, pressing herself as close to him as she could. He sank his face into her shoulder, her neck. Tris could hear his heavy breathing, feel his chest rise and fall with each deep breath. It was sobering to feel him cry, to have him break down in front of her.

"I'm sorry," he said, his voice thick. "I don't want you to leave like this."

"No, I won't," she said, shaking her head. "This was all my fault, and it's done. Never again, okay? _Never_. I'm sorry," she whispered, kissing the top of his head. "Tobias, I'm so sorry."

She closed her eyes; everyone Tobias had ever cared about had abandoned him, and now her name was on that list. Tris didn't want to be yet another reason for him to withdraw and keep to himself, or to listen to those sad, haunting songs of his. She wiped her eyes as his hands idly roamed her back, their grip slightly lessened. It took a long while before Tris could summon up the courage to ask the question she desperately needed him to answer: "Are we okay?"

His hesitation was momentary. "Yeah," Tobias whispered, "We are."

He finally looked up at her, unwilling to put much space between them. Seeing her so scared and uncertain of what was going to happen was almost unbearable, and he had no idea how he was going to deal with her being gone. Tobias took her face in his hands and ran a thumb across her cheek, wiping her tears and looking her right in the eye.

"I don't care what happens to me, Tris. If you change your mind, if you want out, I will come and get you. All you have to do is press that button." He let his eyes fall to her lips for a moment before bringing them back up. "I would never want something bad to happen to you, not even if I were angry or upset with you. I'm sorry for what I had to do to get the mirror, but I am not sorry for making sure you have a way to ask for help if you need it."

Her gaze locked onto his as she placed her hands on his wrists, pulling them gently until they wrapped around her waist. Tris needed to feel him against her, warm and reassuring. She needed something to hold onto, a memory to ground her when her life became nothing but lies and uncertainty.

Her own arms snaked back around his neck as she leaned closer. He didn't hesitate to kiss her, to part her lips and taste her. Her hands threaded into his hair, her gentle tugging causing a pleasurable pain that Tobias got lost in. He pressed her closer, covering as much of her body with his as he could.

"Tobias," she whispered, trying to catch her breath. "I don't want to go."

"Then don't," he said, using the break to kiss her on her cheek and jaw and neck.

"Can I stay here? With you?"

He paused his explorations and pulled back. He had assumed she was talking about leaving the compound, not leaving his apartment. "Yeah," he whispered. She stood carefully, slipping out of her shoes and turning off the light. She was bashful as she took a step forward, tentatively taking both of his hands in her own as he stood. She laced her fingers with his, squeezing before leaning up on her toes and kissing him gently. His mouth lifted on one side as she turned, leading him down the hallway.

They were silent as they climbed into his bed. A dull light filtered in through the window, illuminating their bodies. He got in first, holding the sheet up so she could slide in next to him; she settled in with her back towards him, and he curled around her, keeping her as close to him as he could.

It was better than she had imagined, feeling him next to her. He rested his hand on her hip and nuzzled into her hair, his breath giving her both goosebumps and butterflies. She hated that they could have been doing this since he returned had she not allowed her stubborn nature to delay the moment. She tried to push all negative thoughts away as Tobias moved his hand to her waist; all that mattered in the end was that they were here, now, and that they were okay. She took a deep breath knowing there was one last thing she could give him, one last truth that he deserved to hear.

"Tobias," she whispered. "I love you."

His arm came down across her stomach, somehow pulling her even closer. "I love you, too," he whispered back, kissing her bare shoulder.

Tris felt it was no longer enough to just be in the same bed as him; there were still too many barriers that her lies had created and she wanted every last one of them gone. Tobias reluctantly loosened his grip as she sat up; his breath hitched in his throat when she slowly removed her tank top. His eyes were wide as she lay back down, pressing herself back against his chest.

Her bare skin against his was almost more than he could handle. He had imagined this moment many times, but reality was so much better than anything his mind could have ever come up with. Her skin was soft, her scent intoxicating. He placed his hand back on her hip, only for her to immediately grab it and press it against her chest, over her heart. His own moved to the same rapid beat of hers as he kissed her shoulder again and again. Each kiss was painted on a new area of skin, sending her into a state of euphoria that she had never experienced before. She lost track of how many times he told her he loved her, each time more believable than the last.

Tris turned when she couldn't take it anymore; she needed to see him, to look him in the eyes, to feel him with her own hands. She watched him for a moment as he took her in, his eyes lingering a little longer on her chest. She blushed as she scooted closer, cutting off his view.

She had seen his torso before, and even felt him though his shirt, but this was still so different. She placed her hand over his heart, getting a smile in response. Her hand trailed up and down, feeling each ridge of each defined muscle as his hand gripped her hip. He squeezed periodically, usually when her hand drifted around the same spot. She smiled when she focused there, getting him to laugh and squirm away from her.

"I didn't know you were ticklish," she said, laughing with him.

"I'm not," he said, pulling a serious face.

"Mmm-hmm," she said, attacking him. He didn't hold back as he tickled her, too, and they both laughed until their sides hurt as they wrestled, Tobias finally coming to rest on top of Tris. Her face fell serious when she saw the look on his.

"You are the most beautiful person I have ever seen, inside and out, and I don't know what I would do without you."

"Tobias." She wanted to say more, but there weren't enough words to express how she felt. She pulled him down, meeting his mouth halfway.

That kiss meant more than any other, she thought; it was love and lust and belonging, an expression of hope and desire for the future. It was the happiest she had been in her entire life. Her hands ran down his back as he settled between her legs, a hum escaping at the feel of him against her. It was all the encouragement Tobias needed.

His mouth left hers and he took his time, finding each sensitive area on her neck. It became a game to him; his reward her gentle sighs when he hit the right places. He traveled farther, taking his time and paying close attention to her reactions. He kissed her collarbone, her ravens, over her heart. He left a trail of goosebumps on her flesh as his lips lightly circled her breasts before kissing each of them, a small shiver rippling through her torso in response.

His warm breath ghosted over her abdomen as he gently nipped and sucked his way down. He was slow and cautious as he moved her pants, giving himself access to her hips. He spent time placing gentle kisses on one, before moving to the other; his heart rate increased when he realized she was on the verge of being exposed to him. Not wanting to risk pushing her farther than she was willing to go, he slowly made his way back up to her mouth, only to be met with a look of confusion.

Tris was unsure whether Tobias was nervous or if he thought she didn't want him, but as she maneuvered to have him back between her legs, there was no mistaking how he felt. "Are you nervous?" she asked. He looked her in the eye for a moment before shaking his head. "Good, because neither am I." He let out a sigh of relief as he kissed her, retracing his path down her body to the soundtrack of her pleasure. He sat up as she helped him slip off her bottoms; she ducked her head, bashful at the smile that had spread across his face.

"So beautiful," he whispered, resuming his goal of kissing every inch of her body. He started with a calf, and laughed when he discovered she was ticklish behind her knee. Her thighs were delectable to him, especially when they clamped around his head. Her soft cries let him know that he had paid just enough attention when guys talked about sex around him; he was doing something right.

He enjoyed her taste, her subtle movements with each pass of his tongue. She was wet and writhing, and he took great pleasure in knowing that he was doing that to her. Tobias pulled away and kissed her thighs, trying to make the moment last forever. He could see the rapid rise and fall of her chest, her hands clenching the pillow above her head. He dipped forwards and teased her with the tip of his tongue; her body arched in response, begging for more. He smiled before giving her what she wanted until she was a shuddering, satisfied heap.

She draped her forearm lazily over her eyes, a smile of contentment on her face. She was still throbbing with pleasure, her desire for more growing with each passing second. He ran his fingers lightly up and down her thighs, coming closer to his destination with each pass. She smiled widely when he was almost there, a ghost of a feeling teasing her as she lay with her eyes covered, still trying to decide exactly what her desires were. She quickly figured out one of them as his fingers found their way to where she was sensitive, aching. She let out a soft ' _Oh_ ' at the same time he groaned, her wetness as he slid a finger inside of her enough to make him twitch in his pants.

His movements were slow and precise; she squirmed, arching again at how good it felt. She bit her lip, finally moving her arm to see the look of amusement on Tobias's face. Her giggle quickly turned into a sigh as a new sensation hit her, one that had her reaching out for him, pulling him up to be even with her.

She kissed him, her hands fumbling to remove his pants, wanting him to feel as good as she did. He was quick to help her, and freeing himself with her there was a whole new sensation unto itself. It was her turn to take him in, and she smiled at the sight of him; he was like that because of her.

"Tobias," she murmured, pulling him back down on top of her. He rested on his arms, hovering, trailing his fingers around her face and into her hair. She bit her lip, nodding and encouraging him on.

"You'll tell me if I need to stop?"

"Yes," she whispered, though she couldn't imagine a reason why she would. More than anything, she wanted them to become one.

It was uncomfortable, she thought, though not painful. It was definitely satisfying to feel his body tremble with pleasure, to hear the soft gasp he let out as he settled deep inside of her. His movements were slow, enjoyable. She held on tight, running her hands over his back and through his hair, his throaty moans spurring her on.

She arched and moved underneath him, a slow, pleasurable build happening as they kissed and explored each other. Tris let out a soft cry and his movements quickened, her fingers digging in and pressing him closer to her. She was completely lost in him, in the electricity and the fullness of having him inside of her. Lost in his whispers of love and devotion and forever, she wanted nothing more than for each word to be not just a promise, but a truth; she craved that truth more than anything.

His gasping expletive and the shuddering jolts of his body let her know he had finished. He kissed her, keeping himself inside of her, unwilling to separate. Tobias knew without a doubt that he was madly in love with her, that he never wanted to let her go. The reality of what was to come, though, pulled him down from his high and hit him like a ton of bricks.

"I can't lose you," he whispered.

"You won't," she said, taking his face in her hands. "I promise."

He fell into a deep sleep almost instantly, his arms wrapped protectively around her as she cried into his pillow, terrified to be away from him. Her fears weren't completely unfounded, she thought. If she came home to find Tobias missing, like Matthew's girlfriend, Tris was sure she would lose it, and nobody would be able to stop her from killing David.

What sleep she did get was peppered with nightmares, Tobias waking to secure her to him and kiss her fears away each time. He was here, she reminded herself again and again, not locked up or thrown away. Dawn came before she knew it. Rather than sleep, she decided to spend every last moment with him that she could.

She trailed her fingers across his arm, smiling when he furrowed his eyebrows, looking like his typical, intimidating self. "Tobias," she whispered, kissing the tip of his nose.

He growled and pulled her closer. "What time is it?"

"Time for you to spend the next few hours with me."

He opened his eyes to see her smiling down at him. She was still naked, the sheet pooled over her just right, sparking an instant interest. She draped a leg over him, and slowly eased him onto his back; after everything they had done he still blushed, the sheet leaving no mystery as to what was on his mind.

She pulled the sheet away from herself and him, the growing desire in her going from dull to desperate. She climbed on top of him with ease, kissing him as they fit together perfectly. They entwined themselves more quickly this time, but they lasted much longer, to Tris's great pleasure. Eventually, her stuttered breaths and the way she clawed at him as she moaned with pleasure triggered his own release, the two of them melding into a single moment of ecstasy that left them both shaking and breathless.

They whispered words of love as they lay there, enjoying what time they had left as they kissed and memorized every last thing about each other, reluctantly separating when the time came. Tris was nervous when she reached her destination; she gave Tobias one last look over her shoulder to see him smiling back at her.

"You got this," he said. Tris took a deep breath and nodded, pushing through the door to begin her transformation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ho ho ho! Christmas came early this year, and I hope you all enjoyed what Santa brought you. :P
> 
> Sorry it took so long to get to the good stuff, but hey, it happens. I'm hoping I more than made up for it and all the angsty crap they've been going through.
> 
> Also, since Christmas is actually on Friday next week, my posting schedule will change. Next week I will give you guys a MON/THURS update. The following week I will resume my normal TUES/FRI postings.
> 
> Please enjoy your weekend, and thank you for your reviews!


	24. I'll See You Soon

Everything became frenzied as soon as she walked in the door. Scientists were pulling her in one direction, while people she had never seen before were trying to pull her in another, with David and Zoe hovering over her through it all. They barked orders and Tris obeyed, just wanting to get everything done and for it all to be over. 

They started with her hair, chopping and dying until she was sure they had cut off too much. "Here," another person said, leaning her back in the chair she was sitting in. He held her eye open, dropping something cold into it. He hovered over her until he was satisfied, then did the same with the other eye. He watched carefully and told her to blink rapidly. After a couple minutes he held something to her nose and told her to breathe it in deeply; she scrunched her nose, wiggling it when it tickled. "Don't sneeze. Just hold it in." He looked at his watch, and when he seemed satisfied, he sat Tris up and rolled a mirror over to her. In nearly no time she went from long, blonde hair and gray eyes to chin-length tawny brown hair and chocolate brown eyes. He put a silver clip in her hair, handed her a pair of glasses, then stood back to admire his work as she put them on.

"I'm really glad you chose this look," he said as she stood. She touched her cheeks, and turned her head left and right. Tris was sure she was still there underneath everything, but with the changes to her body from her time spent working out in Dauntless and the tan she had acquired from the Amity greenhouses, she almost didn't recognize herself. It was enough that she was sure Caleb wouldn't look twice at her. 

"We created a care bag for you to maintain the look, but it's going to be very simple. These eye drops," he said, holding up a small bottle, "Keep up the eye change. They only need to be used once a week, so pick a day and stick with it. These capsules here," he said, gesturing to a small pouch, "Just drop four of them in your conditioner and it will keep up your hair. We went with a shade of brown that won't look like it deviates from your darker roots too much. But if you find it's looking too light or even too orange, drop in another two and it should darken it up. We also threw in a few extra clips, since they seem to be very popular in Erudite right now. Now last, but certainly not least, _this_ stuff you need to breathe in every morning. It's just a small irritant that will affect your voice. Go ahead, say something."

"Okay," she muttered, clapping her hand over her mouth. She sounded nasally, her voice a higher pitch than normal. 

"Perfect. We have one last thing," he said, holding back a laugh while handing her a tube of toothpaste. She looked up at him, her eyebrows scrunched. "Open it and squeeze a small amount on your finger." She did as she was told and saw it wasn't toothpaste at all; instead it contained a lightweight, tan liquid. He pulled the neck of her shirt aside and she understood. It took two applications, but her tattoo was completely gone; the makeup blended into her skin perfectly. 

"It's waterproof, but just like the drops, it stays for roughly a week. Just make sure you don't get this and your real toothpaste mixed up." He winked at her, and she couldn't help but smile. "Okay! Onto the next thing."

He paraded her around to nods of approval from the other scientists, some of them stopping to examine her more closely. Zoe let out an ' _Aww_ ' when she approached, which made Tris roll her eyes. She stopped herself from speaking up as David looked down at her, his eyes narrowed. 

"Before you go, we have to finalize your identity." He handed her a tablet. "I thought it might be best to allow you to choose, since you'll have to answer to that name from now on. This list contains the most popular Amity names from the year you were born. You can take your time." Tris nodded as Zoe directed her to a free table. 

They were all very typical, she thought, as she looked through the names. Ava. Demeter. Summer. Iris. Petunia. She rolled her eyes; she wasn't a flower, and she certainly didn't feel like being referred to as one. The list was getting smaller, her hopes diminishing of finding something worthwhile. Something she could actually stand to be called, as well as being easy to remember. She glanced over the list again when she was done, ready to pick a name at random, when one in particular finally caught her eye. It wasn't perfect, but it reminded her of a shared moment with Tobias; the memory caused a coy smile to briefly grace her lips. 

"Melody." She was startled by her own voice, but she kept her face composed, trying to hide it.

"Perfect! And a last name?" Zoe asked.

"Wright," David said before Tris could answer; she tried her best to keep her expression neutral, though she wondered if David was aware that she knew about her mother. "You're right-handed, which should help you remember that easily."

She sat patiently while everyone did what they needed to do. It was explained to her that she wouldn't exist anywhere officially until she was safely inside the city walls; it was too big of a risk to insert any of her information until then. She watched them type and prepare, checking on her periodically. 

A woman eventually sat down with Tris and worked with her on speech and pronunciation. "Erudite tend to have their own inflection on certain words," she said, handing her a short list. 

"But I'm supposed to be from Amity."

"Well, yes. But you don't need to wear glasses, and neither do most of them. It's just something that's expected. It'll be easy enough to pick up on, but it couldn't hurt to practice since you should have already been there for a while." Tris nodded, and they worked together until the woman was satisfied Tris could pull it off. 

Lunch was brought to them as they continued to monitor the drops in her eyes to make sure they were effective, while last minute information about Erudite was filtered in: who was currently at the top of the class, recent things that had happened during initiation, people she would want to be friendly with, and more. She was also given information on the people in the dorms she would have been housed near during initiation, allowing her some time to familiarize herself with them.

Tris ate what she could and reviewed every last detail they gave her. She knew there was no room for failure; she needed to succeed without any mistakes, and she needed to make sure she could get out of there as quickly as possible. She read up on the various things an archivist would be expected to do and tried to form some sort of plan; it was obvious she should do everything she could to avoid Caleb, but with him being so close to Jeanine, it seemed impossible.

It was near the end of dinnertime when they excused her, finally satisfied after checking her eyes and voice for what felt like the hundredth time. She was instructed to meet back with them at 10 pm for one final run-through before leaving. Tris thanked them and made her way to the cafeteria, nervous to see Tobias's reaction. 

He was sitting in their usual spot, with Ruby and Matthew having joined him. Tris hovered for a moment before she was even noticed, which seemed perfect for her new persona. "Hi," she whispered, not wanting to startle them with her new voice. 

"Hey," Tobias said, smiling and pulling the chair out for her. He looked her up and down as she sat there; she might look different to everyone else, but he could see her through any disguise. 

"So, my voice," she said, and Ruby's jaw dropped in surprise. "It's a little different, too."

"Holy crap!" Ruby said, her mouth still hanging open. "Tris, that's amazing!"

She gave Ruby a smile while Matthew nodded along. "Not bad," he commented. "No worries, okay?"

"Okay." She gave the two of them a nod before looking at Tobias. "Do you want to—"

"Yeah," Tobias answered, not even letting her finish. 

She let out a laugh, clapping her hand over her mouth at the sound. "Thank God this is temporary."

Tris had her hands in her pockets as they wandered through the compound. Every time she started to speak, she felt like she couldn't find the right words, that they wouldn't even sound right with her voice even if she could. It was another level of stress she wasn't sure she knew how to deal with. She had never said goodbye to anyone before, and Tris was afraid she would screw everything up.

Tobias glanced at her, watching for a moment as she worried her lip. He didn't want to think about how soon she would be leaving, or how he wouldn't be there for her if things went wrong. Instead, he focused on what would make her happiest in that moment, and how he could alleviate some of her worries. He turned, leading her down into the tunnels, taking her hand in the low light when she offered it. 

"I'm sorry I can't go with you," he whispered. "But I'll be watching every chance I get." She nodded, offering him a small smile. They passed the bar and continued on, just the two of them, until they ended up in the Genealogy room. He led her over to her family; Tris touched her name, and the single AB next to it. 

"You have something to fight for," he said, looking at the names of her parents and her brother. "People to try and make things better for."

"I have something here, too," she said, turning to him. "They're okay right now. It's you I'm worried about."

"I know. I promise I'll behave while you're gone." Tris was certain she would never tire of the smirk he wore whenever he was being sarcastic. 

He pulled her close, pressing his forehead to hers. She breathed him in, moving just enough to allow his lips to easily find hers. Tris let herself get lost in him, desperate to forget what was about to happen. Tris let out a hum as he pressed himself against her. 

"The things you do to me," Tobias whispered. 

She looked up at him through her lashes. "Even, you know, like this?" 

He nodded slowly, trailing his lips across her cheek. "Even like this." He pressed a soft kiss to her cheek. "Your hair might be different and your voice might be different," he said, pressing more kisses on her jaw and neck, "But this is all that matters. This doesn't change." He placed one last kiss over her heart, and Tris relaxed, accepting his love and his warmth as he wrapped himself around her. 

Tobias let everything out: whispers about how much she meant to him, how much he loved her, how scared he was for her. He wiped her tears as they fell, and she did the same for him when it became too overwhelming. Tris told Tobias how much she loved him, too, and promised to be careful, willing the worry in his eyes to go away. They kissed and held each other until she needed to pull herself together and get ready to go; her time to leave had come entirely too fast. 

They parted ways, with Tris going off to David while Tobias headed to meet with Amar. He had to stop in a bathroom to vomit; Tobias splashed some water on his face afterwards and slid down the wall, trying to calm his nerves. It was no secret that he didn't trust easily, and the circumstances of Tris's leaving were no exception. As he stood, Tobias tried his best to ignore his gut feeling that something horrible would happen, making sure he looked okay before exiting.

Amar eyed him carefully before handing him his itinerary. "You going to be okay with this?"

He sighed. "Yeah. It's not like I have much of a choice. Kinda surprised I'm even going at all."

"I'm not," Amar said, quieting when Jones and Briggs came in. Tobias narrowed his eyes before reading over the plan and finalizing it with everyone.

Tobias was double-checking everything was in place when Tris came out, David and a few scientists by her side. Amar took the small, pre-packed bag that contained what she needed and handed it to Jones before holding his hand out to help her into the front seat. Tris thought it was a sweet gesture and accepted it, keeping her eyes down after she buckled up. 

"Good luck and make sure you follow protocol," David said as he shook Amar's hand. "This mission rests on you now."

"Yes, Sir." Amar gave David a firm nod before taking the driver's seat. Tobias climbed in the back first, making sure to take the seat that was closest to Tris, while Jones was quick to put himself between Tobias and Briggs. 

It was awkward to see her dressed in all blue; the color didn't suit her at all. Tobias thought that maybe it was because he had become accustomed to seeing her in the various colors that were available at the compound. But she was like him, and stuck to mostly blacks and grays. He smiled at the thought, realizing with a heavy sigh how much he would miss seeing her every day. 

"We're going to have to take the train," Amar said, getting Tris's attention. 

"Why? Won't we be seen? I mean, Dauntless monitors the cameras around the city, right?"

"We've got that covered. What you need to worry about is running in that skirt." Tris looked down and tugged on the unforgiving fabric. 

The remainder of the ride was quiet. Tris stared out the windows, watching the buildings as they passed by before looking straight ahead, mesmerized as the shadow of the wall rose up in front of her; she swore it had grown larger in the months since she had left. Though it was dark, she was still amazed at how different it looked from the outside. Amar flipped off all of the van's lights, startling her until a screen came on between them, showing what they couldn't see in the dark. "Getting close," he clarified for her. "Don't want to be spotted."

As soon as they were in the tunnel, Tris felt her heart speed up. While she didn't have much choice, it suddenly felt like a do-or-die moment; once she stepped into the city, there was no turning back. She looked over her shoulder for the first time to see Tobias; he immediately turned his head, giving her a small smile. She hated that they would be separated. 

It was an odd sensation as they left the van to head back into the tunnel; it was Tris's first real glimpse of the secrets her city held and of the path to the outside world. She stayed by Tobias's side, thankful that Briggs was ordered to stay behind. She watched carefully, learning and memorizing as they made their way through the building and onto the streets. 

"Wait," Tobias whispered, pulling her arm. They stopped and pressed themselves against a wall while Briggs gave them directions through their earpieces. Amar crept to the corner and looked up, signaling that there was a camera.

"When I say go, you run, okay?" Tris nodded. "Just follow Amar, and Jones and I will be right behind you."

Amar stood still, watching the same corner. Tris saw him hold out something circular that had a small button on it, which he pressed. "Go!" Tris shot out after Amar, crossing the intersection and not stopping until Amar did at the end of the building. 

"Okay, explain," she said, catching her breath. 

"The cameras rotate so they can be spaced farther apart. That button acts like a kill-switch: it stops the camera for five-seconds, buying us fifteen to get past it without getting caught. Anything longer would alert the Dauntless, so we have to be quick."

"Well, thanks for the heads up," she said, smirking. 

Six cameras later, they were standing beside the train tracks; Tobias checked his watch. "Should be any minute now. I'll go ahead so I can pull you up. Amar?"

"Got it."

"Train's fast, so you're gonna have to give it all you've got," Jones commented. "I've seen some Dauntless bust their asses on the screens."

"That's reassuring," Tris said. 

She heard the train before she saw it. She thought back to how she used to admire the Dauntless, daydreaming about catching the trains like they did. She honestly never thought she'd get the chance; as the train approached, she ran after Tobias, a wide smile on her face. He jumped up with ease, like he had done it a million times before. Tris pushed her legs harder, faster, but the door was slipping further away from her. 

"Back!" Amar yelled from behind her, and Tobias disappeared. Tris panicked as she struggled to reach the open door. 

"Tris!" She looked over her shoulder to see Tobias in a different doorway, his hand held out. She reached up as he passed, his large hand gripping her tight and pulling her up with ease. Jones and Amar jumped on after her, the three of them walking in circles or holding their sides, trying to catch their breath. 

"You okay?" Tobias asked. 

"Yeah. I would have had it, but it's this… this damn skirt!" she said, gritting her teeth and tugging it straight. She let out an exasperated sigh at Tobias's smile. "Please don't laugh at me."

"I'm not," he said, pulling her close. "You're just cute when you get angry."

"Hey," Jones chimed in, "If there's one thing I've learned from Ruby, it's don't call a girl cute when she's pissed." He winked before he turned around, tugging Amar with him to give them some privacy. 

"Is that true?" Tobias asked, a grin on his face. 

Tris shot a look at the back of Jones's head. "Tell you what. I'll make you a deal. If you're gonna call me cute when I'm mad, then I'm gonna do the same to you."

"Deal," Tobias said, chuckling.

"I do have a serious question, though. Wasn't there another way to do this? I mean, a closer entrance for us to go in?"

"There are three tunnels we can access. While one is technically closer, the one in the factionless sector allows us to catch the train; the other two would require us to walk the entire way, adding too much time and risk." Tobias leaned in and added, "If you have to press that button, this is the way I'll be coming, okay? You just find your way here." Tris nodded as he pulled her into him.

They stood together, watching the city pass, the wind rushing into the car all around them. It was exhilarating, Tris thought, though Tobias kept trying to slowly pull her away from the door; he was fine until the tracks started to rise.

"We could have done this, you know," Tris said.

"What? In Abnegation?"

She gave him a soft smile. "No. I mean, you wouldn't have stayed there, would you?"

Tobias looked at her for a long moment. "No."

"What would you have chosen?"

He looked down at the dark gear he was wearing, a smile crossing his face. "Dauntless, maybe."

"Yeah, maybe." Tris was quiet for a long time before adding, "Maybe we were always meant to meet in black instead of gray."

Tobias took her face in his hands and kissed her, not giving a damn that Jones was clearly watching them, given the way he was whistling and cat-calling. While there was never any doubt in Tobias's mind, that moment solidified for him that he belonged with her. No city, no wall, no genes, and no faction could keep them apart. She was his, just as much as he was hers, and nothing could ever change that. 

"Alright," Amar called out. "Jump's coming up. Get it together."

Tobias shot Amar a look before taking Tris in his arms one last time. "I love you," he whispered. 

"I love you, too."

Jumping off was easier; Tris stumbled, but she did not fall. She tugged at her skirt one more time, and shot Jones a look when he snickered. They paused while Amar checked in with Briggs and hid their bags, bringing along only Tris's and what they needed to do the reset. Tris, however, didn't miss the gun Tobias pulled out and placed in the back of his waistband, Amar and Jones doing the same. Tobias held her hand as they walked, both for reassurance and to get every last second he could with her. They only had two cameras to avoid before they were at the loading dock doors to Erudite. 

"You stay right on top of me," Tobias said. "This could be tricky." Tris nodded just as the door unlocked. They slid through, the doors automatically latching behind them. "Bureau," Tobias whispered, tapping his earpiece, and Tris nodded.

It was the same dance they did through the city: watching, waiting, pressing the button and slipping past the cameras in pairs. Erudite, like the rest of the city, was ordered to completely shut down by midnight. The Bureau knew they disobeyed, keeping the labs operational all night. It didn't matter in that moment, though; the dorm halls — and the access areas they needed to get there — were empty. 

Tris held her breath as Amar and Jones split off, entering separate rooms; she followed as Tobias slipped into hers. He pulled a small silver contraption out of his jacket pocket, gently placed it on the arm of her roommate, and pressed the button. 

"Your roommate's name is Melody Wright," he whispered in her ear. "You sometimes call her Mel."

"Mel," the girl repeated, her voice thick with sleep. 

"Yes, Mel. Melody is quiet, shy. She keeps to herself, though the two of you are friendly. She's smart, but doesn't volunteer much. She transferred from Amity, and you like her."

"Amity."

Tris quietly put her clothes away. When Tobias was done with her roommate, he walked over to the window; she could hear the faint confirmation that she was in her room. 

"Okay," he whispered, coming to stand in front of her; he looked as worried as she felt. He unzipped a pocket, removing the mirror, a few alcohol wipes, and Matthew's encryption device, and held them out to her. "Matthew said you'd know what to do with these." Tris nodded as she took them, offering no explanation. His eyes darted back and forth between hers for a moment, assuring himself that she would be fine. "Time to go." He leaned in and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her tightly into his chest. 

"Be careful," she whispered, her own arms encircling his waist. 

He nodded against her, then pulled back to look into her eyes. "You, too. I'll see you soon. And Tris?"

"Yeah," she said, blinking away the tears.

"Be brave."

She gave him one last kiss before he slid out the door. Tris looked around her room, taking a few moments to make sure she wouldn't wake up disoriented, and allowed herself some time to let all her emotions out. She wiped her tears often as she tucked what Tobias gave her safely away in her bag, stuffing it in between the mattress and box spring before changing her clothes and creeping into the unfamiliar bed. 

It took Tris some time to calm down, but when she did, it was because she finally accepted things as they were. She was no longer a child in Abnegation or a refugee at the Bureau: Tris was now a spy in Erudite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll see you soon...
> 
> As in Thursday, because Christmas is on Friday so I'm not updating then. Hope you enjoyed this chapter, and thank you for your reviews!


	25. The Seas Are Full of Water

Tris woke to the sound of an alarm. She sat up, expecting someone in authority to be in her room or to see someone coming to arrest her. Instead, she saw her roommate, Karen, stretching and slapping her hand on the alarm clock. "Stupid thing," Karen muttered. Tris blinked rapidly, taking in the room in the early morning light. It didn't look too different, more sterile perhaps, but it wasn't completely unfamiliar. She decided to get up and slip into the shower, testing the waters to see if everything worked. 

"Please tell me you slept as well as I did," Karen said when Tris came out. "I feel like all the stress I was under during initiation just melted away last night." Tris watched her stretch out and sit up, an expectant look on her face. "Oh, yeah. Me too." "So, where do you think you'll place?" Tris watched her for a moment, awed at how Karen was talking to her like she had been there all along. "I'm not really sure, actually." Karen stood and nudged her with her shoulder as she walked past. "Me either. But it better be good." Karen let out a laugh as she shut the bathroom door.

Tris let out a loud sigh of relief and fished her bag out from underneath the mattress, slipping the earpiece into her ear when she heard Karen get in the shower. She pressed the button as instructed, and waited only a few seconds until someone answered on the other end. "Amar here. Everything okay, Tris?" 

She let out a small laugh, pleased to hear a familiar voice. "Yes, thanks. Everyone get back okay?"

"Affirmative. The mission went as planned." 

Tris closed her eyes, relieved that Tobias was safely back at the Bureau. "Good. So far everything is fine here, too."

"Copy. Status update scheduled in forty-eight hours."

"Oh. Yeah. Uhh, copy."

The audio cut out, and she placed the earpiece back in its little compartment. She knew it was an unscheduled call, but Tris thought it was too curt, even for Amar. It crossed her mind that David might have been around, so she pushed her feelings aside and performed the routine as she'd been taught: inhalant, hair pinned to the side, light makeup, fake eyeglasses. She saw nothing but Erudite staring back at her when she looked in the mirror. She smoothed her skirt down one last time, and gave Karen a smile when she emerged from the bathroom. 

She paid close attention as they walked to the main auditorium; being there in person was far more intimidating than she had anticipated. Tris was nervous about seeing Caleb for the first time, and kept her head down when she saw Cara, knowing he could be somewhere nearby. The auditorium reminded her of the one at the Hub where the Choosing Ceremony took place each year, only this one was completely filled with a sea of blue. She followed the other initiates down to the front and took a seat in the furthest row from the stage, adjusting her glasses when they slipped.

"Annoying, aren't they?" She looked to her right to see the boy next to her smiling widely. She offered a tight smile and a single nod of her head. "You know, I don't think we've formally met. I'm Fernando." 

Tris looked down at the outstretched hand in front of her. She shook it twice then pulled her hand away quickly. "Melody."

"Oh, right. Mel. I don't blame you for shortening it sometimes. I understand a thing or two about long names. And hey, you can call me Fer, if you like." 

"Okay, Fer." 

He gave her another wide grin before turning his attention to the boy seated on the other side of him. Tris was relieved to know the memory serum was working, but it didn't make it any less odd that they all seemed to know her while she knew so little about them. The room quieted as soon as Jeanine came in; Tris slunk down in her chair just a bit. 

"Congratulations," Jeanine began, a smile crossing her face. "I can't remember the last time Erudite was blessed with such a large amount of potential. This initiation class is filled with some of the best students we have ever had." Tris saw movement in the front row; she leaned forward just enough to see Caleb sitting tall, a proud smile on his face. "Every last one of you have shown me that you have not just the knowledge but also the drive to bring this city up to its full potential. The future is here, and it begins with you."

The auditorium erupted in loud applause. Tris looked around to see the smiling faces of her new faction mates, joining them so she wouldn't stand out. She let her eyes roam, wondering just how many people were responsible for whatever was going on and how many were completely oblivious. The crowd quieted when Jeanine raised her hands. "This ceremony is short, but please, do not mistake that for how much we value you. I know all of you are eager to get your new housing assignments and job placements, and to begin your lives as official members of our faction. So from me to all of you, welcome to Erudite."

Tris stood with the others to another round of applause and walked to the stage with them, forming a line. As Jeanine started making her way down the line and shaking everyone's hands, Tris began to panic. She kept her eyes down and wiped her hands on her skirt as much as she could. When Jeanine was right next to her, she tried to remember to breathe. 

"Congratulations, initiate." Tris looked up to see Jeanine's head cocked to the side. She held completely still as Jeanine studied her: Tris swore she could hear every second as it ticked by, until Jeanine lowered her eyes, tapping on the tablet in her hand. "You are Melody, correct?" Tris could only nod as Jeanine tapped some more. "I don't bother to learn most of our transfers' names until they are full members. I'm sure you can understand that it would be counterproductive to learn them sooner."

Tris didn't respond until Jeanine lifted her head, looking down her nose at her. "Y-yes. I understand." Jeanine stared at her for just a moment longer before shaking her hand and moving on.

Tris felt lightheaded, both from holding her breath and from the burst of adrenaline that came when Jeanine was no longer standing in front of her. 

"She's a little intimidating, isn't she?" Fernando whispered, leaning closer to her. "And kind of a bitch. I realize not everyone is scientist material, but she could at least have learned your names." Tris let out a small laugh; she was too nervous to notice that Jeanine didn't know any of the other transfers names either. Caleb, of course, seemed to be the only exception. "I say don't worry about it. Probably feels like it's her way of asserting her authority or something."

Tris hoped he was right. "Thanks, Fernando." He nudged her with his shoulder, and gave her a grin and a wink.

Tobias was livid as he paced back and forth in the small security room. "Calm down," Amar said slowly. "It's not that big of a deal."

"Not that big of a deal?" Tobias spun to face him, hurt and anger flashing in his eyes. "She was face to face with Jeanine. And she _knew_. She looked at her far too long."

"She did not," Amar stated flatly. "You have no way of knowing."

"Yes, I do."

Tobias sat roughly in his chair, watching Tris wait with the other people in Erudite as their names were called. They normally didn't pull feed from the city into the security room, but Tobias knew he wouldn't be able to keep calm with everyone crowding around him, trying to get a better view of the screens. One by one he watched the initiates choose a job, the crowd cheering each choice. He wasn't surprised when Caleb was called first, choosing a position in their small council; he was being groomed to become the next leader of Erudite. Cara went second, choosing genetics, with just one other person called before Tris. He held his breath when she stood.

"Melody Wright?" The man handed her a tablet when she nodded, and for a moment she panicked; the Bureau hadn't informed her what she should do if the option they wanted for her wasn't there. She was mildly surprised when she saw offers that dealt with working in the labs. She mulled it over for a moment, wondering just what the Bureau did with her scores, when the job title caught her eye. 

"Archivist."

The man looked at her for a moment. "You sure? With these scores, the possibilities are almost endless for you. You could do better."

"I'm sure." 

The man shrugged his shoulders and entered her information. "Housing will be assigned as soon as everyone finishes. There are several different floors for housing, so you'll be placed based on your choice. In the meantime, you can pack your stuff and meet with the others in Hall C. The information will be posted there."

Tris thanked him and left, getting lost only once before finding her way back to her room. She packed quickly while she was alone, unsure when Karen would show up. She triple-checked that she had everything, feeling underneath the mattress again even though the small bag was the first thing she had grabbed. She stood there for a moment, trying to recall where Hall C was, when Karen finally walked in. 

"Oh, hey. I'm glad you waited. What job did you choose?"

"Archivist."

"Really? Won't that be, like, boring?" Tris scrunched her nose. "Oh, right. You won't have to interact with people so much! Eh, seems like a good choice for you, though. You'll probably have fun sticking your nose in books all day long."

Tris watched Karen pack for a moment before speaking up, remembering she needed at least one friend while she was in Erudite. "What did you choose?"

"Nursing. It's what my mom does, and I already know a lot of stuff, so it seemed pretty logical. Besides, my test scores weren't as high as I had hoped. I thought I'd like to try my hand at chemistry, maybe. Make some fancy vaccines or something, but this is fine, too." She disappeared into the bathroom for a moment before coming out with her things. "Well, I think that's everything. Ready?" Tris nodded and followed her out the door. 

Caleb was already in Hall C when they arrived. Karen immediately walked over to his group, while Tris slowed her strides and headed to sit by herself. She looked around, putting the names she learned to the faces, when she caught sight of Fernando. He motioned for her to join him; she bit her lip for a moment before standing. She stood by him, vaguely listening to the conversations of her faction mates. It took her only a few minutes to figure out they had naturally separated themselves into two groups: one for those who chose the more important jobs, and the one that she was in.

"What job did you choose?" she asked Fernando. 

"Electrical," he said flatly. "I know it's not as glamorous as the biologists or the doctors, but somebody has to keep this place running." He flashed his familiar grin. "And I'll get to tinker with all the leftovers. It's all I really want to do, anyway."

"Then why not choose something in technology?" another boy asked. Kevin, Tris thought to herself, as she tried to place his face. 

"Too much research and not enough hands-on work." Fernando shrugged. "Besides, I don't mind it."

"Yeah, well, I'm stuck assisting one of those asshats over there." 

Tris scrunched her eyebrows at Kevin. "I don't understand. Why is that so bad?"

"Oh yeah, you're a transfer," Kevin said, looking down his nose at her. "Have you listened to how they treat their assistants in the labs? We're there to help them out, but really they act like we're just a hindrance to their 'creative process'," Kevin huffed, before adding, "I mean, really. Who do they think they are? They're not better than us just because they're more qualified for all the desirable jobs. You know how it goes: all of the hard work, none of the credit."

"Then why did you choose it?"

The group of seven people all focused on Tris. She wanted to hold her head high, tell Kevin that he had nobody to blame but himself for where he chose to end up. But instead, she shrank in on herself as he stared down at her, ducking her head and shying away as he spoke. "Because, when you're deemed not smart enough, there aren't always options available to you."

Kevin walked away while Tris looked at Fernando. He shrugged and turned to the girl next to him; Tris chalked Kevin's behavior up to jealousy. She let her eyes wander until they focused on Caleb. He seemed like a completely different person than the one she had grown up with: laughing, smiling, completely outgoing. He touched Cara with ease, and Tris wondered if she ever really knew her brother at all. 

Their housing assignments came quickly; it was no surprise to learn she would be housed separately from her brother, since he was Erudite's prodigy and she was only an archivist. She walked with Fernando and took the elevator to her floor, their units only one door away from each other. "I'll see you at dinner!" he called out, and Tris nodded, deciding he wouldn't be the worst friend to have. 

The inside was larger than any living space she had ever been in. There was a sitting area with a small table and a few plush chairs surrounding it, a nice kitchen with stools nestled under the counter, and a bedroom with a large bed and its own bathroom. Her favorite thing, though, was the small room that opened up just off the entryway. It was lined with wall-to-wall shelving that was filled with various books and papers, and had a small desk in the middle. She ran her fingers over the books, pulling a few out to flip through them, wondering if there was more information held here than at the Bureau. 

She took her time putting her things away, and hid the small bag underneath her mattress again. While she didn't anticipate anyone coming into her room, she didn't want to leave it just lying around. Just as she finished, there was a knock on the door. 

"Hello," a man said from behind a cart when she answered it. "Melody Wright?"

"Yes."

"I'm Norman, and I have your things." 

Tris stood aside and let him in. The cart was covered in various objects which he began looking through, stopping to consult a tablet every few minutes. "Okay, archivist: one tablet, one laptop, one access card." He made Tris stand against a wall and took her picture. She watched as a small photo of herself then appeared on the tablet in front of him. Norman tapped it a few times before putting a plastic card in a small box. It made noise for a minute before popping open; it had her name, picture and a number on it. He took her thumb and pressed it to a black pad, then to the back of the card, creating a print. He handed her a wipe to clean the ink, then pressed her thumb to a small, circular button on the tablet. 

"Okay, all of your identification is in order. This card gives you access to any place you are allowed to go, like the library or the archives. It has your picture and your identification number on it, too, so make sure you memorize it just in case you forget it or lose it. If you're requested in one of the labs, your card will be given access for that day only. Just swipe it and let the scanner read your thumbprint, as with everywhere else. It also stores your credits, so you can use it for any extra purchases as well. Try to keep it with you at all times. You'll need it more often than not. Now this," he said, handing her the tablet, "Is your personal tablet. Unlike the ones in the library, it won't work without your fingerprint. You have both this and the computer, so you can work on whichever one is your preference, either here or somewhere else, or you can simply use it for your own purposes."

He entered some things on his tablet before turning it to face her. "Now, the last piece is a non-disclosure agreement. Working with the scientists or leaders will give you access to information that isn't meant for everyone. It's all standard, but feel free to look it over." Tris leaned forward, her eyes scanning the very thorough contract. It was explicitly clear that she was to discuss her work with no one: not a spouse, family, or otherwise. She was unsurprised to see the threat of jail time coupled with the threat of being made factionless if she failed to follow the rules. She pretended to take everything in, nodding her head every so often until enough time had passed.

"Perfect. Now just place your thumbprint here to verify I gave you everything on the list and that you received and read the proper paperwork." Tris reached out and placed her thumb on the little pad. "Huh," he said, tapping the screen again. "Your print isn't on file." Tris felt her palms begin to get sweaty. She looked around her room, wondering if there was anything heavy enough to hit him over the head with if she needed to escape.

"You're just going to have to go down to the main desk and put your print in again. You're the third transfer today that this has happened to. Must be some bug that needs to be sorted out," Norman said, idly tapping on his screen. "Here, just sign your name instead." Tris took the little stick he held out, quickly adjusting the first line to resemble an 'M' before scrawling out the rest. "Perfect. Since you haven't been to the archives yet, I'll send a map to your tablet. Any questions?"

"Umm, no?" 

"Good," he said, tapping on the screen again. "Map is sent. Victoria will be waiting for you. You can discuss schedules and responsibilities when you get there." 

Tris nodded and opened the door for Norman; he thanked her and headed down the hallway. She took a moment for herself to process everything that was happening and all the emotions she was feeling. She checked the map she was sent, clipped her new badge on, and set out to meet Victoria.

The archives were housed in a different building. Tris liked having the opportunity to be outside every day, and liked it even more when she saw that the building she was going to be working in was rife with enormous windows. "You're late," an older woman with wiry gray hair said without looking up. "Are you Melody?"

"Yes," Tris said, realizing just how fast information spread in Erudite. "I came down as soon as I was assigned my things."

"I will not tolerate tardiness. Is that clear?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

Tris stood there and stared, trying to keep her irritation to herself. Victoria ignored her, keeping her face buried in an older book. Tris waited for a while before finally speaking up. "Is there something I can do?"

"Well it's about time you asked," Victoria said snidely. Tris could feel the pressure in her jaw as she clenched it. "First and foremost, you will do everything exactly as I say. There are to be no improvisations, no shortcuts, and no backtalk. Are we clear?" Tris agreed, albeit reluctantly. "Good. Our time here is mostly spent transferring and indexing records. We also, on occasion, follow some of the other members around, recording tests and their results, or documenting major discoveries for future generations. Our history depends on us, and it is our duty to make sure it is accurate."

"Is it just us?" Tris looked at the vast expanse of books surrounding her.

"No. Collin is out covering you lot being initiated." Victoria narrowed her eyes. "You're a transfer, aren't you?" Tris nodded. "Of course you are. Well, come on. You have a lot to learn."

They spent the entire day going over the various programs used to transfer and index their history and information. It was tedious work, but it was also helpful, she thought. If she wanted to look up information on shoes, a simple search would give her endless data, including references to everything from different shoe styles to how shoes are made to how to make your own. She had no idea Erudite collected so much information. By the end of the day, she was exhausted. She had met Collin at some point, she recalled, though she wasn't sure if she'd be able to pick him out of a crowd. 

"Hey," she heard as she waited in line in the cafeteria. 

"Oh, hey Fer," she said, waving a weak greeting as she looked behind her. "How was your day?"

"Oh, you know, informative." He smiled. "Yours?"

"Tiring, oddly enough. Who knew looking at books and staring at a screen all day could be so exhausting?"

She sat quietly with Fernando, watching the segregation occurring in the cafeteria as those with the more desirable jobs once again distanced themselves from those who chose the more tedious occupations. She couldn't help but compare it to the Bureau, and wondered what these people would think if they knew the truth: that they would all be considered 'undesirables'. 

She excused herself when she was done, turning down Fernando's invitation to hang out in the library. The stress and nervousness she had endured all day had worn her out, and all she wanted to do was sleep. Tris changed her mind halfway home and ran a bath as soon as she walked in. She relaxed in the steaming water, running things over in her head and then laughed to herself. With as much thinking as she was doing, she actually fit right in. Tris was dozing lightly when a memory startled her fully awake. 

She scrambled out of the tub, drying and dressing quickly. Tris picked up her tablet and opened it, finding the program that would allow her to send a message. The blank screen illuminated her face as she thought about what to say, tears filling her eyes as she imagined her mother's reaction to learning she was still alive. Her hands hovered for a moment before realization caused her to shut the program down; she couldn't send it, at least not from her own tablet. Whatever device she sent the message from would need to be destroyed. She crawled into bed, drifting off to sleep as she tried to figure out how to get a message to her mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays everyone! Next chapter will be up on Tuesday. Thank you for your reviews!


	26. Never Reach the Port

The first few weeks went smoothly. Tris went about each day the same way, learning what was taught to her, fitting in as best as she could, and contacting the Bureau when instructed. She missed Tobias terribly; it was always Amar or David who answered her check-ins. The Bureau had never intended for her to be in Erudite for very long, so she got her hopes up that she would be extracted sooner rather than later when David made an offhand comment about things not going as quickly as planned. She should have known better, though: the Bureau always seemed to find a way to make things happen when necessary. She shouldn't have been surprised, then, when she walked into the archives the next day to see Victoria scrambling around; normally, the old woman seemed to never leave wherever she was perched.

"Well, come on now," she chastised, prompting Tris to shoot her a look when her back was turned. "I have a lot to teach you, and only a few hours to do it." Tris set her things down and followed Victoria as she hobbled through the rows, disappearing through a door in the back that Tris hadn't noticed before; she stared in disbelief when she saw the room was full of electronics.

"What is all this?"

"It's backup equipment, for emergencies. I have to teach you how to use the recorders. Collin is out in Amity, something about the crops this year, and I can't stand sitting around during meetings and listening to them blather on about nonsense, so that leaves you." Tris eyed the stack of tablets she was standing next to as Victoria turned her back to pick up a recorder. She moved faster than she ever had in her life, snatching one and hiding it under her coat. Victoria turned and shooed her out, none the wiser. Tris allowed her to pass, then hid the tablet between two books at her first opportunity.

"You'll be covering an important meeting, so it is imperative that you listen to me closely and learn how it's done. We cannot have any mistakes, not now."

"Why now?" Tris asked, receiving an annoyed look.

"Times are changing and huge progress is being made. We cannot miss out on what could be one of the greatest moments in our history because you're too busy asking questions."

Tris grit her teeth, keeping every comment that was running through her head to herself, and sat next to Victoria. They spent more than an hour going over the mechanics of using the recorder, then Victoria had Tris recite the instructions back to her word for word. Victoria next drilled her on her responsibilities, protocol, and appropriate demeanor for the meeting. If there weren't a chance of gaining some useful information, Tris would have walked out: she didn't think she should have to put up with being treated like a child. She was finally dismissed with the instruction to have lunch, then head up to Meeting Room B. Victoria left her there while she packed up her things; Tris took a final look around before heading back for the tablet.

She knew there were cameras scattered throughout the campus, but she needed to get a message to her mother. She made a quick trip to her apartment to retrieve the items Matthew had given her, and decided to switch the tablets out while she was at it, placing the stolen one in her bag while she walked with the one assigned to her in her arms. She headed to the cafeteria and sat with Fernando at lunch, talking about nothing in particular while he showed her some spare parts he was tinkering with.

"It creates electricity," he said, holding a small, rectangular box out to her. "But don't turn it on. Accidentally zapped myself yesterday. It still hurts."

Tris smirked as she took it, turning it over in her hand. "Okay, so what exactly are you supposed to do with it?"

"Hey, I didn't say I had everything figured out."

Tris laughed, turning it over in her hand. "Would it power something? Or," she paused, a thought interrupting as she looked at his fingers, "Would it be a weapon?"

He raised his eyebrows. "Not strong enough to be a weapon. Yet," he added, snatching the box back from her. "I bet I could tweak it again. Give a real shock." He looked at her for a moment before standing up. "I have fifteen minutes. I gotta see what I can make this thing do." He shot out of the cafeteria, leaving Tris all alone.

She cleaned her mess and carried her things into a stall in the bathroom, tablet in hand. Quietly, Tris took out the stolen tablet, then found the encryption device and alcohol wipes she'd stashed in her bag. She attached the sticker to the tablet and opened the message program, inputting her mother's address from memory. She sat for only a moment before typing as fast as she could.

_Mom-_

_This might not come as a surprise to you, but I'm alive. I've been at the Bureau; they pulled me out because I'm Divergent. Please don't worry about me. I just needed you to know that I'm safe, and I have someone amazing looking out for me. Someone you once helped. I love you and Dad. Don't respond— I'm destroying the device I'm using as soon as I'm done._

_All my love,_

_Beatrice_

She hit send before she had a chance to think twice about it. Tris removed the encryption device and then listened carefully, double-checking that she was still alone, and smashed the tablet on the ground, using her foot as leverage to snap it in half. She ripped an alcohol wipe open and wiped down the remains thoroughly, quickly disposing of them and any errant pieces in the trashcan. She covered it with some paper towels as a precaution, washed her hands, then carried her own tablet out in full view for everyone to see. She figured she should throw out the encryption device somewhere else, just in case the smashed tablet was discovered. She didn't want Erudite to come across the Bureau's technology if she could help it.

Tris's identification card had been given access to the meeting room for the day, and she positioned herself in the chair designated for her upon entering. She adjusted the recorder and sat patiently, curious to find out what was so important, while members of Erudite filtered in, giving her their names to be recorded.

"Caleb Prior." Tris froze for a moment, keeping her eyes down before snapping out of it and typing his name down. He continued on and took his seat without giving her a second look. Her heart was pounding by the time Jeanine entered, obviously not feeling the need to give Tris her name. She sat for a few moments, wondering when the meeting would begin, when people clothed in black began making their way in. They filed past her to take their seats, giving their names as if they had done it before.

"Eric Monroe." She looked up, recognizing the greasy-haired, pierced man that had laughed as he commanded a Dauntless to shoot himself in the head. She nodded and typed his name. Realization came to her as Max and another leader of Dauntless gave their names; her attendance at this meeting couldn't be mere coincidence. She was fairly certain that the Bureau had acted to ensure that she was the one selected to monitor this meeting. Jeanine looked at her, motioning for her to begin recording and Tris complied, eager to get things underway.

"Good afternoon, and thank you for meeting on such short notice," Jeanine began. "I have news for you, but would like to hear your reports first."

"First tests went well," Max stated. "The serum appears to be successful. Each member it was tested on seemed very responsive, some even going so far as to shoot themselves."

Jeanine's eyes narrowed when Eric chuckled. "The guns weren't loaded."

"I see. Were there any Divergents in your samples?"

"No. We have no known Divergents in Dauntless at this time."

"I find that hard to believe," Jeanine retorted. "Every faction has a Divergent population."

"Including Erudite?" Max asked. A cold sneer crossed Jeanine's face. "Dauntless has… let's just say, taken care of our problem over the years. At this point, if there are any, they have managed to evade detection."

"Fair enough," Jeanine said, looking between the two men. "Then this brings me to why I called you here. We are working on another version of the serum, so our plans are pushed back until I can perfect it. We ran a series of tests on a girl from Candor. She was turned over to us for suspected Divergence, and Jack was correct; she was almost able to withstand the effects. Eventually, it took hold, but the results were unacceptable. I need more Divergents to test the serums on."

"And that's where we come in, I assume?"

Jeanine was silent for a moment before nodding her head, adding, "It seems an agreement is necessary."

"What are your terms?" Max asked.

The room was quiet enough to hear a pin drop; Tris wondered if the recorder would pick up her breathing. Jeanine looked between a few members of Erudite's council, all of them giving her a nod of approval. Tris was surprised when the final one came from Caleb.

"A position on the new council, in exchange for Divergents."

"Aww, come now, Jeanine. You can do better." A smile crossed Max's face. "We were already promised that."

Tris could see the annoyance on Jeanine's face. "Fine. What would you like?"

Max leaned into Eric first, then towards the woman named Dana. "Two positions on the upper council, but majority leader on the lower council. Also, we would like to be in charge of supply distribution after everything is said and done."

Jeanine mulled it over for a few minutes, not bothering to consult a single person before making her decision. "Agreed."

Tris felt a sense of dread as she watched the Dauntless, smug with their small victory. "Well, then, where should we begin looking?"

"Candor is already cooperating with us willingly, which leaves Amity and Abnegation—"

"What about your own people?" Dana interjected. "You were willing to sacrifice some of ours for your cause. Why not your own?"

Jeanine leveled her with a glare. "Dana, is it?" she asked in a mocking tone. "My people are the ones who created this serum. If I ask them to test their own creation on themselves or their friends or families, do you think they'll appreciate that? Or do you think perhaps they might be a little bit upset?" Dana visibly bristled. "I can't run the risk of them sabotaging anything or walking away from this project. After things are perfected, I will deal with them. In the meantime, we will keep this on a strictly need to know basis, understood? Now, can we get back to business or are you going to ask more questions?" Dana stood and exited the room to chuckles from both sides. "Now, as I was saying, Amity and Abnegation. For now we have to leave Amity out of this — we can't disrupt the pact we have with them, nor the food supply. Abnegation is expendable, but will put up a big fuss if too many of their people go missing."

"What other option is there?"

"Factionless."

Max tented his hands up in front of his face, tapping his fingertips together. "Are we sure about that? I thought Abnegation was the goal."

"By all means, if you can grab a stray Abnegation while they're out in the field, do it. But offering the factionless a few hot meals is enough to get them to come willingly."

Max looked at Eric, who nodded. "How many?"

"As many as you can. The more you grab, the higher our chances of finding the ones we need and achieving success."

"And if they're not what you're looking for?" Max asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Nobody is going to miss a few less mouths to feed."

Tris listened to the remaining few minutes of the meeting in a daze; she was sure there was some talk of resource allocation to help offset the added bodies that would be coming into Erudite, but all she could focus on was how nonchalantly they discussed going after the Divergent and the factionless as if they were disposable and nobody cared about them. She cursed herself for sending a message to her mother so hastily; it was too risky to take another tablet, and now she had no way to warn the Abnegation about the plans being set in motion.

She was excused as soon as the meeting ended. Tris packed her things and headed back to her room; transcribing, indexing, and filing the recording of the meeting could be done anywhere. She was wondering what the Bureau would think when they fully realized what the Erudite and Dauntless were trying to do when it hit her — the reason she had to be there to record the meeting was because the cameras in the room had no sound. Tris debated with herself for a few minutes; she wasn't scheduled to call in for three more days, but the Bureau needed to know this information right away. She shut her bedroom door and pulled out the earpiece.

"Tris? Are you okay? Is everything okay?"

Her heart hammered in her chest as Tobias's deep voice came through. "Four," she whispered, adding, "Fine. I'm fine. I just have information that couldn't wait."

"Give me a sec." She could hear him moving around. "Okay, the recorders are on."

She spouted everything as fast as she could, leaving her breathless by the time she was done; his silence worried her. "Four?"

"Shh," he said, and she could hear him moving again. "Recorders are off now. Tris, I'm coming to get you," he said after a moment.

"What? Why?"

"It's not safe. What if they find out about you?"

"Tobias, I told you, I'm fine."

"Tris, you are exactly what they're after. What if they—"

"I know," she said cutting him off, unwilling to hear him say the words out loud. "But you can't come get me. I need to be here. I love you." She ended the communication before he could respond. She fought the tears she could feel welling up and sat down at her desk, spending the rest of the afternoon maintaining the upkeep on her cover.

Tobias raked his hands through his hair. "Told you it was going to be a bad idea if you answered," Amar commented over his shoulder. "You're stressed out now."

"Of course I'm stressed out," Tobias spat. "She's in the middle of the most dangerous situation of her life. _Alone_."

"Having someone with you isn't always easier, you know."

Amar spun in his chair to face him. Tobias could see the hurt in his eyes; he nodded, understanding Amar had a different kind of pain. George had left the day before without saying a word to Amar. It was better, Tobias knew, considering George was somehow involved, but that didn't make it any easier. "I'm sorry," he said, and Amar gave him a quick nod.

Tris was quiet at dinner, more than usual, and it sparked Fernando's curiosity. "Bad day?" he asked.

"No, not really. Just exhausting, I guess."

"All those words got you worked up?" he teased, a smile crossing his face.

She let out a small laugh. "Yeah, that's it."

"We're all meeting up outside in a little bit. You could come, you know. Take your mind off things."

Tris thought for a moment. "You know, maybe I will."

She followed him across an expanse of grass before ending up near a large, metallic sculpture. She looked around at the few people that were there, spotting both Caleb and Cara. She made a face before turning abruptly and walking away.

"I know they're the brains of this class and all, but that's no reason to run away," Fernando said when he caught up to her.

"I'm not."

"Could've fooled me."

Tris huffed and stopped walking; out of the corner of her eye, she could see him staring at her. "Fine. Let's just… keep a little distance."

"Good thinking. Don't want the smart cooties to rub off on us." Tris laughed loudly; Fernando always seemed to find a way to cheer her up.

They kept their distance, talking in a small group that included Karen, and sipped on fizzy drinks. If Tris was honest, she hated the taste; it seemed like she only found it bearable when it was mixed with alcohol. She tried to ignore Caleb, but it became harder as time went on. He seemed to get louder, boasting that he was going to be a part of the greatest development in Erudite history. Most of the people around him fawned over every word he said, possibly hoping to get some of the glory themselves, but Tris noticed that the people she was with seemed to turn their noses up at him.

"A flipping transfer," Karen said.

"Hey."

She smiled at Tris. "I don't mean you. You're nice. He's just… awfully cocky for someone who came from Abnegation."

"Yeah," Fernando added, snorting. "I wonder if Jeanine will just appoint him leader, too."

She watched Fernando for a moment, trying to piece together what he meant by his comment; she wasn't sure it was the right time to question him on it. Tris turned to look at her brother; she was certain there wasn't enough left of the boy she grew up with to care about anymore. It dragged her mood down, yet at the same time she felt relieved; she didn't have to worry about hurting him, she only had to look out for herself.

"I think I'm gonna go," Tris said, the boisterous laughs from the other group tanking her mood even further.

"I'll walk you back. This party sucks." She looked up at Fernando, and offered him a small smile.

They were silent as they walked. Karen had left with them, too, but broke off to head to a different elevator, leaving the two of them alone. Fernando held every door and pressed every button, always allowing Tris to go first. It wasn't something she expected from an Erudite. "You know, it wasn't that bad of an evening," she commented as they approached her door. "Thanks for letting me tag along."

"You can tag along anytime, Mel. Actually," he stopped for a moment and focused on his feet, "I wouldn't mind if we hung out more."

"Yeah, okay."

"You want to have dinner tomorrow?"

Tris scrunched her eyebrows. "Yeah. I mean, we have dinner every night, right? Or am I…" She trailed off as what he said hit her. "Oh!" She wasn't sure who was blushing harder. "I, umm… I'm flattered, but I can't."

"Yeah, sure. No problem. I understand," he said, the words rushing out so fast they almost sounded like one. "Goodnight." Tris felt a little guilty as Fernando raced to his room, slamming the door behind him. She did like him, a lot actually, just not in that way.

Her three weeks in Erudite quickly turned into four, with no new information crossing her path that could be described as even remotely close to useful. She spent her days doing her job and her evenings with Karen or Fernando, their awkward moment almost a distant memory. She still caught him from time to time staring at her, but she simply ignored it, choosing instead to preserve their friendship. It was a compliment, after all.

By the time her next check-in came around, she knew the Bureau was getting desperate. "There's a box," Amar started, "It's hidden underneath the bush on the north side entryway of the Archives building. Drop something, anything, on your way out and grab it. It's small enough to fit in the palm of your hand, so you won't have to worry about concealing it."

"What do I do with it?" Tris asked.

"It's a small device that you plug into the USB port of a computer. In the library, one of the desk units is partially hidden by a bookcase. It's the only one you'll be able to use without being detected. They're numbered: station thirty-seven. All you have to do is plug it in, and we'll take care of the rest."

"For how long?"

"Until it's detected. Make sure to wipe your prints off the drive before you leave the station. Are we clear?"

"Affirmative," she replied, smirking to herself.

"Copy that. Communicate in seventy-two hours."

"Seventy-two hours. Got it."

The earpiece went silent, and Tris's hopes of leaving anytime soon diminished completely; the Bureau wasn't going to stop until they had what they wanted.

Picking up the box was easy; it was making sure she wasn't seen placing it or wiping it clean that was the real issue. She browsed the nearby shelves, trying to get a feel for the flow of the room. While most people didn't touch the books, they occasionally grabbed one or two and flipped through them. As soon as the group closest to her got up to leave, she made her move.

She sat down, pulling the already opened alcohol packet out of her coat pocket. She used it to wipe her hands before reaching in her pocket and grabbing the tiny drive with it. In one swift move, she set her hand near the computer and pressed it into the port. Nothing visibly happened; she wiped down the keyboard to make it seem reasonable that she had the wipe, and began doing some research. She had already decided that she would research fizzy drink under the guise of figuring out how to make it taste better, a lie that could actually benefit her.

An hour later she was satisfied that nobody was any wiser to what she had done. Tris stood and stretched, tossing the wipe on her way out. Passing the Archives building, Tris saw Victoria through the glass, struggling to pick up some papers she had dropped. Though she had been granted the afternoon to herself, Tris couldn't help but feel a little sorry for the old bat. She heaved a heavy sigh and pushed through the doors.

"Can I help?"

"Oh, yes. Thank you." Tris scrunched her eyebrows: the old woman never seemed to be in any mood other than disgruntled. It wasn't until she had picked up all the papers that she noticed Victoria was crying. "I'm sorry," she said. "It's just that my husband was rushed to the hospital, and I couldn't get ahold of Collin so I could leave—"

"I'll stay." Tris wasn't overly fond of Victoria, but she did know the importance of family. She hadn't even realized her supervisor was married.

"Thank you, Melody. I've just been inputting these forms into the system. The digital copy is exactly like the paper one. All you have to do is type in the information. If I'm not in tomorrow, there's another stack of these forms on my desk."

"I got it. Take your time."

"These ones will be out of order now…"

"I can handle it. Go check on your husband."

Victoria left without another word, and Tris realized this was a common trait among the Erudite: callous indifference to everything, at least until it involved them directly. For a moment, she wondered if it was because of their genes.

Tris waded through the small stack of papers. After a few, she realized that Erudite was creating a personal history archive of all their members, one that included all sorts of information like faction of origin and parental heritage, and even blood type. It piqued her interest as she watched for transfers, mentally keeping track of which faction came to Erudite most often: she was surprised to learn it was Candor. Lost in the mindless work, it took her a moment to realize she had typed out the name Jeanine Matthews.

She picked the paper up and studied it meticulously, wondering if there was anything useful on it. Jeanine's parents were Stephen and Moira Matthews, both of Erudite origin. She had been at the top of her class, choosing genetics as her field of study. Tris tried to recall whether Erudite had a council then, or if that was a recent change. She lost her train of thought when she noticed that the faction of origin was blank.

Tris flipped through the remaining papers in the stack, then briefly looked through the ones that were on Victoria's desk: not a single one was missing any information. Tris went back to Jeanine's paperwork and scanned it again, finding that this wasn't the only anomaly. All the other files were signed by someone named Deborah Watson, while Jeanine's was signed by Norton. She knew she had to ask Amar to look into it the next time she called in; it was far too odd to let it pass.

The small surge of triumph she felt at finding something dwindled when a flash of gray caught her eye, followed by two more. She was rooted to the spot as she looked out the windows at the Abnegation that were walking past, heading up to the main building, when it dawned on her: they were there to collect donations to prepare for winter.

Tris cleaned her mess and calmed her nerves before she walked outside; somehow she just knew her mother would be with them. She paused for a moment, pretending to take in the clouds that were rolling in — the first signs of a pending weather change. She cursed herself that she didn't even realize how close they were to cooler evenings and falling leaves. When she felt enough time had passed for the Abnegation to get set up and even take a few donations, she made her way through the main entrance of Erudite.

They were huddled in the corner, a few Erudite dropping things into their collection bins; it only took an instant to recognize the slightly different posture and the standard bun that belonged to her mother. Tris hated that she was so new, that she had nothing that had tears or holes that she could donate. She looked around quickly, then tugged on the pocket of her coat, pulling the corner loose. She gave it one hard yank and pulled it half off, leaving a hole and a hanging pocket.

Three steps towards the bins and she had to stop; her mother's green eyes were looking directly into hers. Tris thought there was no way she would recognize her, but then her mother's face softened just a little. They could change her hair or her eyes, but Natalie would know her daughter anywhere. She had checked the program she used to contact the Bureau almost daily hoping for word from the outside, any sliver of hope that would validate her suspicions. The last thing she expected to receive was a message from Beatrice herself, attached to an Erudite address.

Tris pulled her jacket off slowly, and walked forward; her mother's eyes were already dampening. Tris gave her a smile and a nod, and handed her the coat. Their fingertips touched briefly, and she longed to hold her mother's hand one more time, to have her wrap her arms around her and tell her that everything was going to be okay. They were frozen in place, until a memory snapped her out of the moment.

"Erudite is testing mind control serums," she whispered. "Dauntless will target the factionless and Abnegation to get test subjects." Her mother held her eyes for just a moment longer before taking the coat from her and placing it in the bin. Natalie gave her a nod and Tris turned away; it was admittedly the hardest thing she had ever done. She looked towards the elevator, startled to see Caleb. His eyes shifted from their mother's subtly anxious expression, to Tris, and then back again. Tris turned to the right, aiming for the cafeteria.

"Wait." She ignored him and upped her pace, until she felt a firm hand on her arm.

"Ow! Let go!" she yelled, trying to wrench herself free. The people closest to them stopped and stared, trying to judge if they needed to intervene or not.

"What did you say to that woman?" he asked, pushing her into a corner.

"What woman?"

"The Abnegation woman who took your jacket."

"I thanked her. Can't I be polite?"

He grabbed her firmly by the jaw, turning her head left and right; Tris held still, trying to keep calm. He let her go, but looked her over once more. She let her tears well up; the people nearest them were starting to crowd around Caleb. She closed her eyes, opening them to a familiar voice.

"Mel? What's going on?" Fernando was looking between her and Caleb; his eyes landed on her red jaw before flitting to Caleb's hands and back. "Come on," he said, trying to maneuver between the two of them.

Caleb held his arm out, stopping him. "No," he said. "She needs to come with me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone had a fantastic holiday weekend and that Santa brought you what you wanted. :)  
> Also, thank you for the reviews!


	27. The Riches of Grandeur

Tris complied, assuring Fernando she would see him at dinner. She watched her mother as they waited for the elevator and subtly shook her head; the battle raging inside was written all over her mother's face. Watching her two children at odds, unable to do anything about it, tore at Natalie. Her Abnegation peers helped gather the remaining donations they had been given and ushered her out, whispering comforting words about Caleb as they made the trek back home. Natalie wanted to believe them, to believe that her children would be okay, but confirming that Beatrice was still alive and that the Bureau was intervening again wasn't a good sign. She had to tell Andrew about the warning and decide what plan of action they would take, both to ensure the safety of their faction members and the factionless, and to help their daughter.

Tris yanked her arm out of her brother's grasp as soon as the elevator door closed. The look on Caleb's face told her that he didn't know who she was, only that he was suspicious that something wasn't right. When the doors opened on the top floor, she was surprised to see Jeanine standing there, a series of rooms and labs sprawled behind her.

"Caleb?" she said coolly, looking between the two of them. "What is going on?" He leaned in and whispered into Jeanine's ear; she eyed Tris the entire time. "I see. Well, then, come along." He grabbed Tris roughly by the arm again and pulled her down the hall into a vacant room with a table and chairs; Caleb was kind enough to let her choose her own seat.

"Miss Wright," Jeanine started, taking a seat across from her, "It has been brought to my attention that you have been displaying some suspicious behavior." Tris was still as she considered her actions; other than the moment with her mother, Tris hadn't done anything out of the ordinary. She looked at Jeanine with as much innocence as she could muster, and gave her a simple shrug. "Tell me, what did you say to the Abnegation woman?"

"I thanked her for her services."

Tris held still as Jeanine looked her over. She had a feeling her cover might be blown, but she would play the part long enough to try and convince them both to release her; she knew she would press the button in the mirror and make a run for it as soon as she was set free. Tris briefly wondered if the Bureau already knew, if they were taking steps to extract her. 

"This woman, she had tears in her eyes because you thanked her?"

Tris shrugged again. "Maybe she wasn't used to hearing it." 

Jeanine spent a few minutes tapping on the tablet in front of her, and Tris's heart rate increased; if there was anything incriminating on it, there would be little chance of getting out of Erudite, whether through an escape or otherwise. Jeanine eyed the tablet before sliding it over: it contained a long list of everything known about Melody Wright. Tris raised an eyebrow as she read through it; it seemed that the Bureau had been extremely thorough with her information, going so far as to fabricate grades and classes she never took in school. When Tris was done scrolling, she looked up at Jeanine. "Do you keep this information on all your members, or just transfers?" she asked.

"Just the ones who begin acting suspiciously. That's when I pull files so I can look for things that don't quite fit." 

She looked between the two of them and gave a nonchalant shrug, hoping to buy herself some time to think. Jeanine leaned over to Caleb and whispered something in his ear. He shot out of the room while Jeanine smiled awkwardly at her.

As soon as he burst back in, Jeanine stood and retrieved something from him. Tris kept facing forward, her eyes cast down as Jeanine walked around the desk, stopping right next to her. "If you have nothing to hide," she said, "Then I'm sure you wouldn't mind taking a test for me." 

Tris swallowed and looked up to see a smug smirk on her face; it ignited her anger. Jeanine held her hand out, motioning for Tris's. She complied and Jeanine pricked her finger, drawing a small sample of blood. Tris held her head high, defiant until she and Caleb left the room; once they were gone, she let her shoulders sag and shed a few tears. 

She wasn't sure how long she was left alone, but when they finally came back into the room, Caleb's eyes were wild; she knew the truth had been revealed. Her sadness and regret for not taking Tobias up on his offer to come get her seemed to vanish when she saw Caleb's accusing stare. She sat back in her chair, crossed her arms, and raised an eyebrow. 

"Beatrice," he said, his voice incredulous to her ears, but his face completely devoid of any emotion. 

"Who?" 

"Don't play dumb. Your DNA only had a single genetic match in the city's database, and it wasn't for a 'Melody Wright'. I had to test it three times and draw a fresh sample from myself because I couldn't believe my eyes." Caleb paced back and forth, Jeanine observing from the corner of the room and Tris simply watching her brother. She knew he was trying to piece things together; he couldn't even begin to imagine the truth. 

"I always knew Abnegation was horrible," he said as he sat across from her. "But to fake the death of one of their own members? What are they trying to accomplish? Did they know I was going to transfer? Were they hoping I would stay?"

Tris snorted. "Awfully selfish there, Caleb."

"Well, what other reason could there be?" he retorted. "I'm the only connection to both things."

"Now, Caleb," Jeanine said, coming to stand behind him. "There's no evidence that Abnegation had anything to do with this. Perhaps your sister is simply a sick individual who faked her own death." He narrowed his eyes at Tris. "Therefore, it's a good thing we have ways of finding out the truth."

She opened the door and two Erudite filed in; Cara was one of them, holding a syringe filled with a familiar light blue liquid in it. Jeanine took it and turned her attention back to Tris. "Are you going to cooperate, or are we going to have to hold you down?" Tris gave her one last glare before tilting her head and exposing her neck; she visibly flinched when Jeanine's cold fingers brushed over her skin, finding the vein. She was rough as she inserted the needle, pushing the truth serum into her system. 

She felt the effects immediately: her head swirled and her body became heavy. It took her a moment to stop herself from falling too far under the serum's powerful influence, her head momentarily clearing as the questioning began.

"What is your birth name?"

Tris only had a moment to debate with herself on how honest she was going to be. "Beatrice Prior."

Jeanine smirked. "And what are you doing in Erudite, Beatrice?"

"Spying." She had to hold back her own smirk when Jeanine's face fell. 

"Spying for whom?"

"Abnegation." 

Jeanine stilled when the words came out of her mouth. Tris knew she couldn't reveal the full truth; the mere existence of the Bureau would open up an enormous can of worms. She rolled with Caleb's assumptions about Abnegation, hoping it might get her released to her parents. 

"And what does Abnegation need a spy for?"

She shrugged. "That information wasn't given to me."

Jeanine walked closer to Tris. She leaned down, studied her face and looked into her eyes; Tris let the serum take hold of her, only for the moment. She grimaced, trying to fight the effects back when Jeanine asked, "How do you receive your instructions?"

Tris was at a loss for words. She couldn't tell them about the earpiece, and there wouldn't be any evidence of her sneaking out or meeting with anyone if they searched the camera footage. Still, she tried the lie. "I sneak out. Meet at a designated location."

Jeanine grabbed her face, pulling it up to look in her eyes. She could see the dilation of the pupil, but there was more there, she was sure of it. "Put her in a cell," she said. "Until this is resolved nobody has access to her, understood?" Caleb nodded, Cara and the other Erudite immediately moving. 

Tris dragged her feet, making things difficult for the two men escorting her. She took in every detail she could: she was three floors from the top, in a cell marked 14, third hallway to the left. She tried to memorize the sequence of numbers that Cara pressed into the keypad, but she was too fast, her shoulder partially obscuring Tris's view. Her brother roughly pushed her into the dim room, taking one last look before shutting the door. 

The cell was small and sterile, with only a cot on one wall. Tris looked up at the camera in the corner, and wondered if the Bureau had access to its feed. She gave a thumbs up on the off chance that they did, hoping that Tobias would know she was okay. 

He was furious when Amar showed him the footage; he had been out on a camera run in the Fringe, and had no idea what had happened in his absence. "Calm down," Amar said, watching Tobias pace back and forth. "That hot head of yours isn't going to get you anywhere."

"Fuck anywhere," he said, shooting Amar a look. "I'm going in there."

"And how are you going to do that?" Tobias narrowed his eyes. "You leave here, you're going to get yourself, and possibly her, killed. At the very least, you'll reveal the Bureau and the experiment, and you know what happens after that." Amar paused for a moment, searching for a way to reach Tobias. "It's not worth the risk of losing her completely, is it? I'm sure David is working on a plan."

The mere mention of David's name, however, seemed to add fuel to the fire. Tobias yanked the security room door open, and stalked out, Amar calling after him. He ignored everything and everyone as he strode quickly down the hallway, flinging David's door open. "How the _hell_ could you have put her in so much danger?" he spat, leaning over David's desk, stopping only inches from his face. "You could have placed anyone, anywhere, yet you chose to put her close to the one person who could figure her out. Why?" David's face was blank as Tobias inched closer. "You could have made her factionless. Had her gather information as she cleaned the buildings at night and nobody would have looked twice at her."

David made no move, gave no indication that he was even listening, let alone planning to answer Tobias's questions. It set Tobias off: he reached out and gripped David's shirt, pressing his fist into him as he shook him forward and back. "If she gets hurt, you are going to regret ever pulling me out of the city."

"Now you listen to me, you little shit," David said, snapping Tobias out of it; he had never heard David get angry before. "You are a nobody, and you mean nothing to me, the Bureau, or the experiment. Hell, you didn't even mean anything to your parents." Tobias grit his teeth, pressing his fist harder into David's chest. "I am only giving you this single warning because you have some value, since the other defects actually listen to you. If you ever come at me again, I will have you arrested. And if you want me to do anything about that little girlfriend of yours, you'll apologize to me and let me do my job."

Tobias let him go with one last thrust, leaning back over the desk and smoothing down his shirt. "I'm sorry," he muttered. 

"What was that? I couldn't hear you."

"I am sorry, _Sir_ ," he said, punctuating his words with enough venom to kill a man. 

"Please resume your post," David said, "And do close the door on your way out."

Tobias opened the door to see a frightened Zoe pressed against the opposite wall. She watched his swift strides carry him down the hall, peeling herself away and slinking into David's office once he was out of sight. "Sir?" she said, tentatively. "Is everything okay?"

"It's fine, Zoe. However, I want surveillance tracking put back on Eaton at all times."

"Yes, Sir." She backed out of the office, closing the door quietly. 

Zoe hurried down the hall and stopped outside a secured door, entering her access code on the keypad. She slipped inside, the roomful of monitors casting a bright glow. She sat down in front of a blank monitor and brought up Tobias's information, starting the facial recognition program. Once it located Tobias in the security room, she pressed record, briefly checking the other cameras before exiting and making her way back to David.

Tris was fed three meals — each consisting of a sandwich, juice box, and an apple — before anyone came to let her out of the cell. She was using her meal schedule as a way to measure time passing, though she never imagined it would be inaccurate: by her calculations, it should be sometime in the afternoon, yet the windows were dark and the hallways were deserted. 

Three men led her to a bathroom, giving her a fresh change of clothes and ten minutes to shower. When she was led back to her cell, Jeanine was waiting inside; Tris was cautious as she leaned against the opposite wall. 

"Your story doesn't add up," Jeanine said. "I've been in contact with Abnegation officials, and they have no knowledge of your existence inside of this compound."

Tris read the bluff immediately. "So, they weren't concerned that a previously deceased member of their faction was alive? Just said that they had nothing to do with me?"

Jeanine's lip curled. "It seems as though your intellect outweighs your common sense, though I'm hesitant to give you that much credit. Tell me, how did you manage to get yourself placed within our midst undetected?" Tris shrugged. "Well, no matter. We do have ways of uncovering the truth, unlike some of the other factions. Tell me, Beatrice: when did you first find out about your Divergence?"

Tris debated for a moment in her head. "My what?"

"Oh, come now. You were able to lie to me despite being injected with truth serum. Only a Divergent can do that."

"Did I?" Tris asked, raising an eyebrow. "Can you be sure of that?"

Jeanine pursed her lips, and Tris smiled. "You have a choice: cooperate, or we will force you to cooperate."

"That doesn't sound like much of a choice." Tris stared at Jeanine for a minute before motioning to the door. 

"I see your decision is made. Very well, then." Jeannie gave her a curt nod, closing the door behind her.

The meals came and went, with no indication of how much time had passed. Tris tried to keep track: six meals to one shower meant every other day, and four showers meant just over a week had passed, though she couldn't be sure. Tris often found herself waking without a memory of having fallen asleep or even being tired. She also noticed her body was changing, becoming thinner and paler. When Jeanine finally made another appearance, she found the human interaction welcome. 

"Are you ready to cooperate now?" Desperate to get out of her cell, and to have more than ten seconds of human contact, Tris felt she had no choice other than to agree. She needed a chance to see what was happening beyond her closed cell door, a chance to figure out a way to escape. Jeanine's lips curved into a wide grin as she stood. 

Tris followed her out, squinting her eyes in the bright light of the hallway; three Erudite immediately surrounded her, boxing her in. The windows were dark again; Tris thought it should be close to lunch, and she briefly wondered if she was really that off or if Erudite was purposely messing with her mind. 

The room she was led to contained only a small table, a chair, and a computer. Tris knew exactly what to expect when she sat, yet that didn't stop her from being nervous. She focused on the large window; if this was the same room from the footage she saw in the Bureau, she was being watched. She held her head high as electrodes were placed on her head, and did her best to calm her nerves. 

The amber serum felt different as it was pushed into her vein, though it could have been her imagination. She expected an immediate reaction: heaviness like the truth serum, or panic like the fear serum, but nothing changed. 

"What is your name?" Jeanine asked, and Tris looked up, her eyebrows scrunched. Jeanine looked to her left at Caleb, who simply shrugged. She tapped on her tablet a few times before repeating the question. 

"Whatever you're trying to do, it isn't working."

Jeanine pursed her lips, studying her for a moment. Tris couldn't help but feel elated: whatever Jeanine was trying, it was failing miserably. Jeanine let out a sigh, and slipped out the door. She was back only moments later with two syringes in her hand: one orange, the other red. 

"You're right. I think I am getting ahead of myself," she stated, setting the red one down. Tris kept her eyes on Jeanine's every movement while she calculated her chances of making a run for it; although she was familiar with the layout of Erudite, she was one against many. She turned her head, flinching as the syringe's needle pierced her skin. 

The familiar burn settled in her veins, her mind transporting her somewhere else entirely. There was no point in hiding her Divergence from Jeanine, so Tris tackled her fears methodically: creating items from nothing, calming herself and moving forward, realizing fiction from reality. When the room swam back into view, the first thing she saw was Jeanine's face hovering over hers, a look of pure astonishment plastered on it. 

"Interesting," Jeanine said, tapping a fingernail on the arm of the chair. Jeanine lingered for a few moments more before pulling herself together. She stood and smoothed her blazer down, the Erudite in the room hovering while they waited for her instructions. Tris felt her stomach drop when Jeanine's lip curled up on one side. "This endeavor should prove to be very… fruitful. Put her in a cell while I analyze. Contact Dauntless for me, Caleb. Tell them their assistance in finding new test subjects is not needed for the time being. I seem to have the perfect one right here." Caleb briefly glanced at Tris; she saw something flicker in his eyes before he nodded to Jeanine and left the room.

Livid was too small of a word to describe how Tobias felt. He threw and smashed everything in his apartment that he could get his hands on, Amar and Jones alternating between trying to get him under control and letting him do what he wanted. 

"Let's go to the range," Jones suggested. "Shoot off a couple of rounds."

"There's only one thing I want to shoot," he seethed, punching a hole in the wall. 

"Four!" Amar tried to intervene, to grab hold of Tobias and pin him down, but it was of no use: he was far too enraged. "Can we at least take this to Dauntless? I will stay there all night with you if I have to, but you have to let your anger out the right way. You're going to tear this place apart."

"Fuck this place." He punched with the other hand, his knuckles already bruised and bloody. 

Amar took a chance and slipped between him and the wall; Tobias puffed his chest, staring him down, while Amar kept eye contact. "You know I'm right. Jones, get us something to snack on while we're there, please. Plenty of water, too."

"I'll tell Ruby," he said. "She'll help." 

Amar gave him a quick nod and turned his focus back on Tobias. "I know it's hard to keep your thoughts straight," he said calmly, "But this isn't the way. You're crossing into dangerous territory, and it's going to get you hurt. Or worse."

"What? Killed?" he spat. "I don't care about me. I only care about her."

"And who do you think she cares about, Tobias? How is she going to feel when she comes home to a missing or dead boyfriend, huh?" Amar smacked him upside the head, frustrated by Tobias's impulsive nature. "Start using that brain of yours and put her needs first." Tobias clenched his jaw hard; he knew Amar was right, but he was too pissed to fully appreciate his concern.

Ruby and Jones weren't far behind them. The three of them watched Tobias take his anger out on a punching bag, stopping him occasionally to make him take a drink of water. He refused every break they suggested, until Ruby threatened to start getting naked to break his concentration; he only paused long enough to eat a protein bar, and allowed Amar to re-tape his bloodied hands. 

It was well into the evening when Ruby left, citing her need to be up early for her shift. Tobias knew he did, too, but he needed to wear himself so far into exhaustion that he had no choice but to sleep; he hadn't slept properly since Tris had left.

Tris found herself being roughly woken; she had no memory of falling asleep again. The same three Erudite escorted her back down the hallway, boxing her in so she couldn't run. She flopped herself down in the chair, irritated by the arrogant expression on Jeanine's face. 

"Watching your fears proved to be very interesting, Beatrice. And since you won't talk and our normal serums seem to have no effect on you, I'm not left with a lot of options," Jeanine began. "Do you know what this is?" She held up the syringe full of red liquid she had seen before, and Tris shook her head. "It's the fear serum, in its purest form. It's what was originally used before I perfected it into something useful. Do you have any idea what pure, undiluted fear is like, Miss Prior?"

Tris was completely still as Jeanine injected her. The burn started the same, escalating at a faster rate until she let out a scream. Tris tried to maintain control, tried to fight it, until her entire body felt like it was consumed by fire. The last thing she saw was Jeanine hovering over her, a smile on her face.

Ruby burst through the doors, a tablet in her hands. "I couldn't sleep," she said through heavy breaths. "I was coming back to hang out and there was a crowd…" She held the tablet out and Amar snatched it from her. It showed Tris strapped to a chair, thrashing, screaming, veins bulging out of her neck. 

Amar snapped his eyes to Ruby, who could only shrug in response. "Four." Tobias sighed, but continued with his assault. "Now!" Amar shouted, turning on the sound and allowing Tris's guttural screams to fill the room. 

Tobias let his hands fall to his sides and spun around; the look on their faces as they crowded around the tablet told him all he needed to know. Beaten and bloody, he walked to the cabinets and pulled out a gun. 

"Four," Amar said warningly, "Put it back." 

Tobias held the gun out, his hand steadier than it had ever been as he aimed it at Amar's head. "No," he growled. 

Amar held his hands up, motioning for Ruby and Jones to hold their positions. The three of them watched as Tobias slowly backed himself towards the entrance, bursting into a sprint as he ran through the door. 

"Are we just going to let him do whatever it is he's going to do?" Jones asked, looking between the door and Amar.

"No." Amar raised his arm and pressed his watch, calling David as Tris's screams rang through the air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy crap, Happy New Year! Sorry this is later than usual, but I was up until 3 AM. Whoops! Hope everyone enjoys this chapter, and hooray for it being 2016, and another step closer to Allegiant. :P


	28. May as Well All be in Vain

Tobias concealed the gun as he walked through the compound. Most people were used to his demeanor and the determined pace at which he moved, but he still received some glances as he strode through the hallways. He threw the door open to David's office without a second thought to see him sitting behind his desk, anticipating his arrival.

"Sit," he ordered. Tobias scanned the room, narrowing his eyes when they landed back on David. He pulled the gun from his waistband, his arm falling heavily against his thigh from the weight. David's gaze never faltered as Tobias took a seat, placing the gun on the edge of the desk, just out of David's reach.

"I gave you an opportunity—"

"You didn't give me shit," Tobias snarled as he sat up straighter, towering over David even as they sat.

"If it weren't for me, you would have died out there. Starved from lack of food or ravaged by the elements. Or perhaps you would have gone crawling back to your father."

The words set Tobias off, and the gun found its way back into his hand with ease. He held it as steady as before, aiming it at David's head. "It's time to pull her out."

"And how do you propose I do that? Just waltz in there, introduce myself and politely ask for her back?" He leaned forward in his chair. "Beatrice is in the position that she's in because she was careless."

"Keep telling yourself that," Tobias said bitterly. "You put her in that position. If it weren't for you—"

"If it weren't for me, she'd be doing God knows what with her life. Who knows if she'd even be alive given the turning attitude inside the city." The words stung, but Tobias kept his aim steady as they sat, daring each other to make a move. "I don't have all day for this nonsense," David finally said. "Either shoot me or get out."

Tobias clenched his jaw, his hand steady, David's eyes locked onto his. A snarling grin formed over David's teeth, sending a cold shiver down Tobias's spine. "That's what I thought: all bark and no bite. Take him away." Tobias had been too consumed with his hate to notice Amar standing in the doorway, Jones and Ruby and a handful of others behind him. Amar wore an apologetic look as he disarmed Tobias and placed him in cuffs.

Amar was kind enough to take him the back way, keeping him away from prying eyes and gossiping mouths. "Just what the hell were you thinking?" he hissed in his ear as they walked. "In what way could this have _ever_ worked?"

"You let me go," Tobias countered, feeling combative even though he knew Amar was right.

" _You_ had a gun to my head."

Amar tightened his grip as they walked, not tolerating any of Tobias's shit. He was tired of putting himself out there, saving his ass or pulling him back from the brink of anger or despair. Amar knew he'd had a rough life, but a part of him wished Tobias would just get over himself and be the man he knew he could be. Now, thanks to Tobias's impulsivity, he was going to be stuck babysitting and giving updates on Tris. And if something did happen to Tobias, the burden of informing Tris of his fate would fall squarely on his shoulders. He shoved him roughly into a cell, angry at the circumstance he was forced into, only taking the cuffs off after Tobias wiped the glare from his face.

Hours passed before anyone came to let him know what was happening; Tobias half-expected his memory to be wiped by one of the scientists, or that he'd be shipped off to some city so far away he couldn't even dream of finding his way back. Instead, he was face to face with David. He stood completely still as David paced back and forth.

"You know, I actually had high hopes for you," he began. "You were damaged, but you were still different. It would have been quite a feat if you could have proven everyone wrong, showed them that your damage didn't have to be your defining characteristic."

"Yeah, well, you had a funny way of showing it."

"The pieces were all laid out in your favor, but it was up to you what you did with them. I extended my trust by giving you an important position of power and allowed you to make decisions that would benefit both yourself and the Bureau. And they were generally well thought out and not impulsive — until today, that is."

Tobias clenched his jaw. He knew he had messed things up, and not just for him but possibly for Tris, too. The fact that he was in a position of power had worked to his advantage so well over the years that he never stopped to think of the consequences of losing it. David walked out of sight, only to return a moment later with a tablet. He carefully plugged it in then propped it up, just out of Tobias's reach. Having a gut feeling, Tobias turned his head, refusing to watch what David intended to show him. His defiance was pointless, though; her screams echoed through the empty cells, and Tobias felt his heart drop.

"I haven't decided on your punishment for your insubordination yet," David said, a smile crossing his face. "But this should do in the meantime."

Tris had never felt weaker. Every inch of her body ached and her throat burned. Her eyes were heavy, but every time she closed them and drifted off, her mind immediately shifted into a manufactured fear or one of her own. They were more vivid after all the injections she had received, and Tris was having a hard time discerning between reality and what she was being forced to endure.

Sometimes, before she drifted off to sleep, there was something that called to her from deep in the back of her mind. She couldn't tell if it was real or not, but it gave her a pleasant feeling so she held onto it, hoping it would spark something inside of her, something that would help her stay grounded in reality. It started as a single note, followed by another, and another. She hummed the notes in succession, forming a melody to keep her awake when she was too fearful to sleep. Sometimes, she tried to keep it going in the back of her mind while she attempted to ignore the traitorous face in front of her, the face that injected her over and over and over. It felt familiar, right, and the more she embraced it, the more pieces came to her.

It wasn't until she lay there, unmoving, her body wounded and starving, that she realized what it meant: she couldn't give up the hope she had that he was out there, somewhere, fighting to get to her. She repeated the words she remembered often, trying to keep her moments of sanity from fading when she felt them slipping from her grip. The words weren't always easy to remember, and sometimes they stuck with other memories, just far enough out of her grasp. But when she did recall them, it triggered a small surge of happiness, one that she was able to hold onto, even if only for a few moments.

It helped for a while, but Jeanine broke her down, day after day by pushing her body to its absolute limit. Jeanine would then spend her nights in the labs, adding or subtracting components from the formula, trying to perfect her serum. Though her body and mind were weak, Tris repeated the words to herself and fought as long as she could, finally giving up when it became too much. The line between what was real and what wasn't had become so blurred that she wasn't sure if she would ever be able to discern between the two again.

Tris wept openly in her cell, uncertain whether it was better to be left completely alone or to have at least a little human contact, even if it involved her worst nightmares. She had no idea how long she had been held there: keeping track was no longer an option. She hadn't showered in days, she was sure, and she had no memory of her last meal. For the first time since she arrived, Tris was certain she would not be leaving Erudite alive.

It took her a moment to process that Caleb was standing in front of her. She turned her head, away from both the bright light and the person she no longer knew. "Beatrice." His tone was soft, assuring. He hesitated, hovering over her, watching her tuck into herself as she tried to hide from him. "Please," he pleaded.

Tris looked up slowly, taking in the worry and hurt she could see in his face. It was the first time in days that she felt anything other than fear or sadness: she was angry. "You can't possibly feel guilty now, can you?" Her voice sounded weak, broken. He sighed, then motioned for her to follow. She stood slowly, looking over his tall frame, noticing more and more just how different they were. She looked past him to see other Erudite in the hallway, waiting for her. "But 'faction before blood', right?" She bit her lip, trying to stop the quiver, while Caleb looked on helplessly.

She was surprised when they led her to the showers. They let her take her time, even provided her with a brush and a fresh change of clothes. This was it, she thought. They were done with her, and this was their last act of kindness, allowing her a shred of decency before they disposed of her.

Her arms were weak, both from the serums' toll on her body and from disuse. She struggled with the matted mess that her hair had become before finally giving up.

"Here," she heard. She looked behind her to see Cara, hand outstretched. She stared for a moment, blinking, before handing the brush over. Cara was gentle as she worked her way through the tangles, cooing softly to soothe Tris the entire time. "You know, Caleb loves you," she whispered, "But he's torn. He wants to help you, but he wants to help the city, too."

"What do you mean?"

"You can fix that, Beatrice. You can help us help them. All you have to do is stop fighting and cooperate. It'll make things so much easier for you, and your brother."

She pulled her head away, and Cara stopped. Tris looked around the bathroom for a moment, suddenly unsure of her surroundings. She recalled leaving her cell, but she didn't recall the trip to the bathroom, only that she had arrived. "Is this real?" she asked, touching her face and her surroundings. "Are you real?" she screamed, pulling on Cara's jacket, shaking her, repeating the question over and over.

Jeanine was furious as she hovered over Tris. Looking around the room and feeling the straps on her arms, Tris realized the bathroom had been a simulation. Her eyes filled with tears when she saw her brother scoot out of the room quickly, and she thought it must have been his idea — to try and use their connection as siblings to get her to see things his way.

Caleb leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes, relieved to finally be out of the testing room. The heels he could hear rapidly clicking towards him came as no surprise. He let his head roll to the side and opened his eyes to see Cara's mouth flattened into a perfectly straight line.

"Have you had enough yet?" She leveled him with a glare when he didn't respond. "This is _not_ what I signed up for."

"You technically didn't sign up for anything," he countered, offering a weak smile to placate her. "It's for the best, Cara. You and I both know—"

"Nothing! We know nothing except what she has told us," she hissed. "This is _not_ what we were meant to do. Did you see her face, Caleb? She can't even tell what's real anymore! That is your _sister_ being tortured in there. Are you just going to stand by and watch while Jeanine kills her? You can't possibly be that heartless—" Cara cleared her throat and took a step back from Caleb when she heard voices coming closer. "I am going to do something about this, with or without you," she whispered. Caleb frowned as he watched her walk away.

Jeanine stomped out of the testing room, coming back moments later with three vials: two full of truth serum, and one full of fear serum. "I have given you every opportunity to do this the easy way, and now I am done. I _will_ get results out of you, even if it kills you." She jabbed the first syringe into Tris's neck: she fought its effects while the second dose was administered. It was easier to do when she wasn't run down and weak, but the double dose pushed her over the edge, and she found herself losing control.

"Tell me how you were placed in Erudite." Tris struggled, the pain of fighting the serum twice as intense. "Tell me, or I will stab you with the fear serum, too."

"I… can't."

The piercing pain of the fear serum was instant, and quickly reached an unbearable level even though it was a small dose. The combination of the two wreaked havoc on her system, her screams echoing all around as her mind went into overdrive.

"Tell me how you were placed in Erudite," Jeanine repeated. Tris found the memories coming to the front of her mind, though she did not actively recall them or say them out loud. Images of Tobias and Amar; driving into the city through the tunnels; the memory serum used on Karen. Tris couldn't stop the onslaught of thoughts running through her mind or the fire coursing through her veins.

"Yes," Jeanine whispered, watching Tris's memories unfold in the same way that she monitored her fears. "Show me that building again. The place you came from." Tris grunted as images of the Bureau popped up, as well as visions of the monitors and meetings she had sat in on. "What were you doing there?" Tris's time spent at the Bureau flashed on the screen in small snippets, showing everything ranging from the mock Dauntless training room to the Erudite labs, to going through her landscape as well as Tobias's, to their time spent alone together.

Jeanine was ecstatic as she pulled it up on another screen, slowing the images down as they flashed by. "There," she said, pointing to the quick flash she saw of Marcus. "How do you know Marcus Eaton?" Her childhood flashed past, and Jeanine realized she needed to refine her line of questions. "What is this image from?" She held the tablet in front of Tris's face; it was a blur at first, but then it came into focus: she went through Tobias's fear landscape again, the image of Marcus, his hands around Evelyn's neck, clear as day. Jeanine was pleased with the revelation: she had never had this sort of leverage before, and she was more certain than ever that nothing could stop her from getting what she wanted.

"One last question. Who is the boy?"

"No!" Tris screamed as Tobias's face flashed in her mind, as well as their time spent together. Images of his funeral came, too, only to be replaced with one of Evelyn's. Satisfied, Jeanine gave her another injection, negating the effects of the fear serum. Though Tris had been unable to fight anything, she had been trying, and her body ached from head to toe.

"Secrets always find their way out," Jeanine sneered as she unhooked Tris. She was too weak to stand on her own, or to fight the tears that had welled up, and simply broke down.

Tobias watched helplessly from his cell. He couldn't see what Jeanine saw, but based on her line of questioning, she seemed to know he was alive, which meant that soon enough, his father would know, too. The past week had been his own personal hell: watching and listening to them torture Tris for information and testing whatever concoctions they had come up with on her. He had never felt so powerless; at least when he was younger, he had been free to help his mother. Amar hadn't even been down to see him: only faceless nobodies showed up to bring him food or let him out for a shower, their guns trained on him the entire time.

 

* * *

 

When Marcus walked through the entrance of Erudite, he held his head high and put a proud smile on his face. Jeanine had contacted him, wanting to offer a truce and set aside their differences to finally work together. His smug smile endured as he was escorted through the lobby, thinking he had won as he was led to her office where she was waiting.

"Marcus," she said. "So glad you could join me. Please, sit." He bowed his head and took the seat across from her, his best Abnegation face in place. "If you don't mind, I'd like to be blunt. Erudite and Abnegation have been at odds for as long as I can remember, and I'd like to change that."

"I'm glad you're finally realizing this is no way for the city to thrive," Marcus said. "And I'm more than willing to work together. What did you have in mind?"

Jeanine's lip curled as she slid a tablet towards Marcus: playing on it was footage of him killing Evelyn. His eyes flitted to hers for a brief moment, then back down. There he was, strangling Evelyn, the light leaving her eyes right in front of him. "What is this?" he asked, disgusted. "Is this some sort of cruel joke?"

"I can assure you it is no joke. Tell me Marcus, do you have any idea how I procured that little piece of footage?"

He slid the tablet back towards her and stood. "I have no need to sit here and be assaulted with your deluded ideas of what you think happened to my wife. I loved Evelyn, and I could never do such a thing."

"Which is why she left you, right?"

"I don't know what possessed her to leave her faction," he corrected.

"You still didn't answer my question," she called out as he made his way to the door. "Do you know how this information came into my possession?"

"One of your little lab rats concocted it, I'm sure." His face was hard, giving no indication of there being any truth to the footage. He excused himself, and was promptly escorted to the elevators.

"I've got it from here," he heard a young man say as they stood there, waiting. A gentle grip guided him into the elevator, and when the doors closed, Marcus was surprised to see Caleb Prior standing next to him. "Do you remember me, Sir?" Marcus raised an eyebrow, and gave a slight nod. "Do… do you think you could help me? I know this won't make any sense, but there isn't much time. You remember my sister, Beatrice?" Marcus nodded again. "She wasn't murdered. She's here, alive. Could you get a message to my parents to let them know? And perhaps gather the council together to force Erudite to release her?"

The doors opened, and Caleb's grip tightened on his arm. They walked through the lobby, until they were standing in front of Marcus's car. Marcus gave no indication to anyone that he even knew Caleb, let alone that they had been speaking. He sat in the car, out of view from everyone, and gave a single nod.

Caleb was relieved as he watched the car drive away. He had felt nothing but betrayal when he found out his sister was alive, and initially had supported Jeanine's attempts to perfect her serums. He had managed to reason with himself that it was for the greater good, because that's what Jeanine had told him. But as the weeks passed and the testing became more and more brutal, he had started to feel uneasy.

Caleb looked up at the building he called home and sighed. Cara had been right: he couldn't stand by and watch it happen any longer. He couldn't deliver his own sister to her death. He didn't know what the consequences would be for defying Jeanine — though he imagined they wouldn't be good — but it was a risk he knew he had to take.

Tris had given up. She allowed the tests to continue and answered the questions she was asked. There wasn't any point in fighting when everything was going to be revealed no matter how hard she tried. She wasn't even sure if it was really happening anymore or if it was all in her head.

"I have a surprise for you," Jeanine said as Tris walked into the room that had become synonymous with torture. Tris shrugged, but was curious when Jeanine stepped in between her and the chair. "Today, I'm not going to strap you down."

Tris had to admit that she was mildly interested when Jeanine held up the amber serum, a flare of curiosity in her eyes as the needle pierced her skin. Tris felt no different from when it was injected the last time, but she knew that was the point: for it to be undetectable. She watched as Jeanine tapped on her tablet, expecting something to happen, but there was nothing discernible.

"What is your name?"

"Beatrice Prior," she answered immediately.

"Stand on one foot." Tris complied, immediately lifting her knee. Jeanine examined her, looking for any sign that things weren't as they seemed. Satisfied, she barked out, "Clap your hands." Jeanine snickered as Tris clapped. She tapped on the screen again, then watched as Tris obeyed her spoken commands to set her foot down and stop the clapping. Tris looked around the room, waiting for some sign that the testing was to continue; she was surprised when she was immediately escorted back to her cell.

Tris smiled as she sat on her cot. She knew Jeanine wouldn't stop until she had her perfected serum, and a split-second decision and a bit of luck had allowed Tris to give it to her. She did it partly to save herself from more testing, but also to hopefully prevent any other Divergents from becoming test subjects, or worse: being mind-controlled to participate in whatever Jeanine had planned for the future. If at least one person who wasn't a part of the corrupt leadership in Dauntless could fight back, then it was worth the risk to lie.

 

* * *

 

 

When Marcus was summoned to Erudite again a few days later, he debated on whether he would give in to Jeanine or brush her off. But the desire to know exactly what she knew and how she knew it turned out to be greater than his sense of pride. He hadn't spoken to Andrew or Natalie yet, unsure what would happen if they all showed up on Erudite's doorstep demanding the return of a deceased faction member; he and Andrew would surely be removed from their positions, and would run the risk of jeopardizing the entire faction's integrity. In the end, keeping control of their power was more important than anything.

He was escorted back to the same office and seated across from Jeanine again. "It was wise of you to take me up on my offer," she began. "I thought our last meeting might have ended our little… relationship. I know the terms have changed over the years, but I promise that this time will be different, Marcus. You have something I want, and I have something you want. It would be in both of our interests to make a deal."

Jeanine was never close to anyone, though that never stopped her from using what looks she did have to get her way. Marcus knew this game all too well; she would play coy, then take him to her place for a few hours of enjoyment, only to kick him back out again. He wasn't in the mood for her games, though, so he shut her down with a cold stare.

"What is it that you want, Jeanine?"

"The video."

Her request was so blunt it took Marcus a moment to recall that he had confided that information in her a long time ago. It struck him as odd that she would request it now. "And in return?"

Jeanine slid a tablet to him again: this time there was footage on it of a young man locked in a cell. He watched for a moment, unsure of what he was supposed to be viewing, until the man looked directly into the camera. "No," Marcus whispered. He snatched the tablet off the desk, watching as the young man spoke to whoever was filming him. Though there was no sound, Marcus could tell he was angry. He studied the features: the ears that stuck out just a little, like his, and the hooked nose and full lips that looked exactly like Evelyn's. But it was the eyes that assured him that it was indeed Tobias.

"It seems as though your son is very much alive, Marcus. Were you aware of that?" Too stunned by what was in front of him, Marcus shook his head. "Well, I know where he's being held. Your son's return in exchange for the video."

Marcus didn't hesitate in his reply. "No."

"No? I thought you would be overjoyed to learn that your son is alive after all these years. What a shame that a father doesn't want anything to do with his only child."

"You will not fool me, Jeanine," Marcus said, his voice slowly rising. "I buried my son years ago. This is some trick again, some computer manipulation."

"Is it?"

The words ate away at Marcus. Not only did she have the evidence of him killing Evelyn, she also discovered that Tobias was alive, as well as where he'd been all these years. He watched his son who was yelling, angry, fists white-knuckled around the bars of where he was being held, and wondered how it could be that she had found him.

"I'll bring it," he said reluctantly. "In exchange for both my son and the footage you have."

"Wise decision," she said, the possibility of her newfound power intoxicating. "Care to take a trip downstairs with me before you head home?" Though he wanted to tell her to go to hell, the thought of taking his anger out on her excited him, and he graciously accepted her invitation.

Hours later, his anger thoroughly fucked out on Jeanine, he was again escorted by Caleb through the lobby. The memory of their previous conversation was sparked by the look of hope on Caleb's face. "I'll be returning in two hours," he said through gritted teeth, his mouth unmoving. "Be ready."

Although he would be giving up something he was sworn to protect, Marcus was ecstatic to have the opportunity to screw Jeanine over, in every way possible, starting with a secret that she also valued.


	29. The Sins of my Father

Tobias was furious as he watched Jeanine saunter into Tris's cell for the second time that day, looking like the cat who swallowed the canary. His hands would never heal if he was forced to watch more testing on Tris, or witness her having the nightmares that seemed to invade her head every time she closed her eyes; the bloody spot on the wall was a grim reminder of his inability to rescue her. Jeanine pulled her up roughly and Tobias leaned forward, curious; Jeanine had never treated her like that before. There was no sound in Tris's cell, and he cursed when he realized Jeanine was talking to her.

"Their technology has improved," Jeanine whispered. Her eyes narrowed as she stepped around Tris, scrutinizing every feature on her body. "Even the background paperwork they created for you was nearly flawless. You almost slipped by me. But it seems as though David's ego has foolishly led him to believe that he can outsmart me. It's laughable, really, considering my intellect far exceeds his — or anyone else's, for that matter. The Bureau must be pretty desperate to throw a naive, ignorant child up against me. Or were you sent to take my place?" Jeanine rolled her eyes, scoffing at the idea. "David simply cannot accept that things are not going the way he planned, can he?"

Tris stood completely still as she tried to digest Jeanine's words. She was tired of the lies and tired of pretending; it was obvious now that Jeanine knew far more than she had been letting on. Tris blinked slowly, trying to keep her mind clear: she could still feel the lingering effects of the last serum tests. "They put me in here, and they can take you out."

"Oh, but my dear, they won't. Let me guess, they told you that they developed everything there?" She sneered at Tris, her voice oozing with contempt. "I am the one who perfects things, not them. Their dependence on me is almost pitiful." Her expression hardened as she grabbed Tris's face, pulling it inches from hers.

"I have been beyond their control for years, and they know it. Now, with the support I have from the other factions, I'm virtually untouchable. Nothing they — or you — can do will ever stop me." Jeanine shoved Tris away harshly, and Tris held a hand to her head, swaying slightly as she tried to keep her thoughts straight, images of David dragging Tobias away from her flashing through her mind, merging with reality. She looked up at Jeanine's face as it blurred, then came back into focus.

"The Bureau isn't the only one with spies, you know. I do have to congratulate you, though, on your determination to keep up the charade. And now that I have cracked that head of yours open, all your little secrets are mine, including this one." Tris watched as she held up her small bag that she had hidden underneath her mattress. Jeanine pulled out the earpiece and threw it on the ground, smashing it underfoot.

"I have no use for you now," she said, a smug look on her face. She pulled the mirror out of the bag and checked her face in it. Tris eyed it, remembering that she wanted to smash it, press the button inside of it. She reached out as Jeanine stepped just out of her reach. "Well, no _real_ use. Though I suppose I could keep testing on you…" Jeanine snatched Tris by the arm, dragging her down the halls and into the lab, circling her as she looked her over.

"I have been messing around with the serums for some time," she began, grabbing Tris's face again and flashing a light in her eyes. "But I never thought to combine them, not until you came along. As it turns out, that's pretty useful against your kind. I have had some other Divergents here for a while, but they are nowhere near as special as you, they don't even come close to your caliber. I am, however, interested in pushing you to your breaking point, then testing them to see if they respond the same way. The sooner I can save the city from dangerous creatures such as yourself, the better."

"I'm not the dangerous one," Tris said, trying to keep her confidence up. She couldn't help but whimper when Jeanine pulled out a syringe, screaming as soon as the effects kicked in.

 

 

* * *

 

 

"Marcus?" He turned to see Natalie looking at him in confusion. "What are you doing in here?" He had no idea what to say to her; he thought he had been careful, that nobody had seen him come into the records room.

"Oh, Natalie." He turned his head away from her, trying to buy himself some time. "I have to ask you to go. I can't have you in here, you know that."

Natalie looked him over: his posture, his demeanor, even the tone of his voice screamed that something wasn't right. "Marcus, what happened?" She was patient as she waited for him to talk to her.

"There… I don't have time to tell you the details, I just need you to believe me when I say that you must leave."

Natalie knew how little she could trust Marcus; she also knew he had just returned from Erudite, which currently housed both her children. She crossed her arms, defiant, and leaned against the entrance to the room. The softness of his expression faded for only a second, but she caught it. "My son is in Erudite," she said firmly. "And let's not forget about the note that was found. If there is something happening, I want to know."

Despite Andrew knowing about Natalie's past with the Bureau, sharing Beatrice's warning with him had been difficult. There had been a lengthy discussion between them about what the Bureau wanted with their daughter and what she could possibly be doing in Erudite. In the end, they had both agreed it would be impossible to fully explain to the council how Natalie had obtained the information. They had settled on scrawling a warning note which they presented to the council under the guise that Natalie had found it inside a piece of donated Erudite clothing.

The council had held an emergency session, concluding after a short debate that they would not confront Erudite or Dauntless without at least one piece of corroborating evidence. Andrew had argued that they shouldn't just sit by and wait for something awful to happen; as a result, the council had agreed to issue a general warning to the faction to be on alert for any suspicious activity. Natalie had taken it upon herself to warn all the factionless she encountered, and asked them to spread the word. It wasn't much, but it would have to suffice.

Marcus stopped rifling through the cabinet and turned around to face her. "Yes, and nothing has come of that note, has it? In fact, Jeanine wishes to come to an agreement with our faction, to work together for the good of the city," he announced pompously.

Natalie plastered on a fake smile. "Oh, that's wonderful. I can tell Andrew for you and he can gather the council—"

"No! She was very clear that she would only work with one council representative, and since I'm the leader of Abnegation, she wants me to handle it."

"But that's not how things work, Marcus."

"Please, Natalie," he pleaded. "Don't stand in the way of this momentous occasion."

Ordinarily, she had a hard time believing anything that came out of the man's mouth, and this was no exception. She dropped her smile and cut straight to the point. "How about you and I make an agreement? You tell me the truth, and I will help you in any way I can."

"I am telling you the truth, Natalie. Now please, I do not require your assistance in this."

"Then answer me this: why are you in the records room? What is in here that you need to take to Erudite?" The mask fell again, and she knew she was on to something. "Marcus, _someone_ that isn't you needs to know what is going on."

Marcus sighed. He wasn't going to get rid of her, that much was obvious, and time was of the essence. He thought perhaps he could use her kindness against her. "You recall my son, Tobias?" Natalie nodded her head. "I've just found out that he's alive, after all these years."

Natalie's eyes widened. "H-how is that possible?" She had always wondered about the circumstances of Evelyn's and Tobias's deaths, but it was crucial that she remain calm and not let her suspicions show.

"That is what I'm trying to find out. Now please, Natalie. You already know too much."

"You can't trust her." Natalie uncrossed her arms and stood tall, looking down on Marcus as he bent down to continue his search. "Believe me. Whatever Jeanine has told you, there's a lie mixed in there." While she knew this to be true, she was also planting the seeds of doubt to help cover her tracks, just in case Jeanine somehow figured out she had helped Evelyn and Tobias escape all those years ago.

"You think I don't know that?" he snapped. "But it's my son. I need to know."

"Fine. Then I'm coming with you. My son is there, too." And my daughter, she thought. If she could just find Caleb, she could find out what happened to Beatrice and help them both.

"No. I have to go alone."

"You go with me, or you don't go at all."

Marcus gritted his teeth. While he was curious about Tobias, it was imperative that he acquire the footage of himself and Evelyn, and he couldn't do that with Natalie around. "Fine. But you will wait in a nearby building, and I will meet you there afterwards."

Natalie eyed him. It wasn't an ideal plan, but it was better than nothing. "Fine."

He grabbed a drive; without seeing it, Natalie knew exactly which one it was. "Marcus," she cautioned.

"I know what I'm doing." Natalie sighed; she had no choice but to go along. Tobias was alive and so was Beatrice. Maybe even Evelyn, too. She was more sure than ever that this had the Bureau written all over it. She had to get her children back. She had to keep them safe and find out what was going on.

The pair boarded a train together, forgoing a car to remain as inconspicuous as possible. Getting off at a stop blocks away from Erudite allowed them to stay hidden, and also gave them a chance to scout the buildings before securing a meeting position in one. Natalie wished she had brought a gun, but there wasn't enough time and she really didn't want Marcus questioning why she had one in the first place.

They agreed on a time, and if Marcus wasn't back by then, she was to head back to Abnegation, alone, with no questions asked. Natalie would then tell Andrew and the rest of the council what happened so they could form a plan from there. She wasn't thrilled with the idea, but her choices in everything were limited. When Marcus was out of sight she ran to the top floor of the building, taking up a spot where she had a vantage point over the whole courtyard. She kept to the shadows, but watched diligently for any sign of Beatrice or Caleb, or for anything else that seemed out of the ordinary.

"Glad to see your quick return," Jeanine said, motioning for Marcus to take a seat. "I assume you brought what I asked for?"

"I did. You'll only get it if I get what you promised me." Jeanine smiled and held out her hand, extending a small drive to him. Marcus quickly took it, exchanging it for the one he brought. Jeanine plugged it into the tablet she was holding and tapped: a young woman appeared on the screen, stating her name and explaining that she was a willing participant in an experiment, one that involved having her memories altered and her name changed. Jeanine smiled again, pulling the drive from the tablet.

"May I?" Marcus asked. She shrugged and handed it over; Marcus plugged in the drive he was given. On it was the same footage of Tobias and nothing else. "What is this?" he asked, his voice rising.

"Oh, Marcus," she said, chuckling. "As much as you like to think you have a modicum of power, the truth is you do not."

"You promised me my son."

"And there he is, right there in front of you. You can watch him over and over, until your little black heart is content." Marcus stood, his hands balled into fists. "Now, now. Let's not be too hasty," Jeanine said, pulling out another drive. "You also asked for this, did you not?" Marcus eyed the drive, and nodded. "Well, now you have to make a choice. Your son, or the video of you killing your wife." Marcus glared at her, and reached for the drive.

"You know, on second thought," she said, pulling it back out of his reach, "I'm beginning to feel like I'm the one who's not really getting a fair deal out of this. The possibilities for me — if I hold onto this little piece of evidence — are endless. I could destroy you in an instant, with the simple flick of a button, or hold onto it and have you do my bidding. No, I don't think I can hand this over to you. There are far too many outcomes, all of them to my advantage."

"You bitch," Marcus growled, "We had a deal."

"'Had' being the operative word, and now we shall have a new one. Abnegation will step down from their council positions and hand them over to Erudite, effective immediately. In return, no blackmail. You can have the drive and I'll tell you where your son is."

"We had a deal!" Marcus slammed his fist on her desk. "You do _not_ get to back out of a deal with me."

"Temper, temper," she said, smiling. "Tell me, Marcus, what exactly is it that you have to offer me? I do believe 'nothing' is the answer. Like a fool, you handed me exactly what I wanted, and now you're useless to me. You know what, let's just forget all the deals. I think I'll just use my little army of Dauntless soldiers to forcibly remove Abnegation from power, right after they learn you're a murderous liar."

Marcus launched himself across her desk, his hands outstretched; Jeanine pushed her chair back, narrowly avoiding his grip. When he stood she pressed the panic button underneath her desk, and Erudite guards instantly filed into her office.

"Jeanine," Marcus said, his face full of concern. "What is going on?"

"Oh, stop playing the fool, Marcus. Mr. Eaton is to be escorted out of this building immediately. If he sets foot on our premises again, Dauntless is to be notified and he is to be arrested."

Marcus played to his strengths, looking both lost and surprised at Jeanine's decision, and the Erudite fell for it: they didn't bother to secure him in any way as they walked him to the elevator. Just before the doors closed, Caleb walked in. He nodded to the others as he pressed the button for the floor Beatrice was being kept on, and looked directly at Marcus, willing him to understand. Caleb exited the elevator when the door opened and turned, giving a faint nod just before he walked out of view. The window was small, but Marcus took it, slipping out just before the doors shut.

"This way!" he heard, and he ran towards the sound of Caleb's voice. "8596," he said quickly as Marcus approached. "Press 8596, then the green button, and the door will open. It's cell 14." He held out his hands, backing away slowly for the cameras. "I'm too weak to stop you, but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't punch me in the face."

Marcus didn't hesitate, and punched him squarely in the nose. Caleb fell down, clutching his face as the blood began to trickle down. Marcus ran, entering in the numbers and flinging open the door to see a young girl sleeping on a cot. If Jeanine thought she needed to secure this girl in a cell, she must be a valuable asset, one he would take great pleasure in snatching away from that two-timing bitch. He smirked as he thought how fortunate it was that Caleb had come to him for help, presenting him with this opportunity to exact revenge on Jeanine.

Marcus looked closer at the sleeping girl, but didn't recognize her as the Beatrice he had met many times; that didn't stop him from trying to shake her awake. "Beatrice," he said. Her eyes opened slowly, then rolled back into her head. "Beatrice, look at me. You have to wake up. You have to run." Time was of the essence, so he scooped her up, throwing her over his shoulder. He could hear the sounds of the Erudite shouting as they got off the elevator, dictating who should search where.

"Marcus." He turned to see a small, mousy girl down at the other end of the hallway, Caleb standing with her; he walked towards them. "Emergency exit. It's a long flight of stairs that will take you down to street level, though the last few floors are old and in need of repair, so be careful."

Marcus nodded and pressed past them. "Your mother is waiting in a building on Grove Street, second one on the left."

"I'll be just behind you," Caleb said.

Marcus swayed, realizing the stairs were outside the building only when the door opened. He concentrated, taking them as quickly as he could; Tris made a noise with each rough step. "Are you awake?" he called out as they neared the bottom.

"Yes," she said weakly. He looked up: there weren't any signs of guards above him, and the people below seemed none the wiser, either. He set her down.

"The stairs are going to be hard to navigate," he started, "Can you do it?"

"I can do anything," she said, a smile crossing her face. She held onto the railing and placed a bare foot on it, trying to climb over.

"No!" Marcus shouted, pulling her back down. "You have to walk."

"Don't tell me what to do!" she snapped, taking off down the stairs on wobbly legs.

Marcus followed closely, watching her as she narrowly avoided falling through holes in the steps and gingerly jumped over missing ones until they were finally on the ground. He grabbed her firmly by the arm and began dragging her towards Natalie. "Stop!" he heard, and spun to see Caleb running after him, the mousy girl in his wake. They were navigating the last few stairs while more Erudite were pouring out of the top of the building. There wasn't much time. He broke into a sprint, Beatrice laughing as he yanked her along.

"I know about you," she said, dragging her feet. Marcus felt himself getting angrier by the second, her childish actions slowing down his escape and potentially jeopardizing his plan. "I'm glad she helped them. I couldn't love him if it wasn't for her." He ignored her words and her actions until they were safely inside the building.

"You're a monster," she said, ripping her arm from his grip. "I have wanted to say that to you for a long time, and I don't care if it's real or not. I used to look up to you, but then I found out you hurt them. You hurt _him_." Her eyes stung and her words sounded empty and hollow. She wished she had more anger inside of her, but she was only numb.

"Beatrice?"

Tris turned her head to see her mother walking towards them and let out a strangled chuckle. "Of course you would be here," she said, dropping to her knees. "You're always here."

"Beatrice, you aren't making any sense. What did they do to you?"

Tris watched her mother crouch in front of her, barely registering her brother and Cara out of the corner of her eye. She reached her hand out, touching her mother's face. "I'm sorry I had to lie to you."

"Oh, baby, it's okay."

"No, Mom. You thought I _died_. You had a funeral for me. But I was at the Bureau—"

Her eyes focused on her mother's soft face, the way she looked at her so lovingly as Natalie reached out and cradled her. "I'm glad you helped him, Mom. I wish I had known." Tris closed her eyes and nestled into her mother's arms. "You saved them from the monster."

"What monster? Beatrice, honey, you aren't making any sense. You have to tell me what happened to you."

"No. I just want to stay here, in your arms."

Marcus watched their exchange, piecing together the words she was saying and the unsurprised look on Natalie's face as she rocked her daughter back and forth. Beatrice must be the reason Jeanine knew his secrets, which also meant she knew where Tobias was. He debated on her usefulness versus what she knew, and decided that in her state, he could easily play off that Erudite had done something with her memories.

"You need to gain control of your daughter," he chimed in. "She's delirious, and she's going to get us captured or killed. We need to start making our way back to Abnegation."

"We shouldn't," Cara said. "They'll have Erudite looking for us, and the Dauntless will be patrolling soon enough. We should just wait it out."

"Or get a head start," Marcus countered. "It will be at least thirty minutes before the Dauntless can assemble and get here. The Erudite won't do anything without them in the meantime. We need to move, get on the train and get out of here."

Caleb and Cara reluctantly agreed, acting as lookouts for Natalie while she helped Tris. She pleaded with her son to tell her what happened once they were safely on the train, but he was silent while Cara refused to look anywhere but the ground. She did check on Tris once, though, and whispered to Caleb that the effects of the most recent serum seemed to be lingering longer than usual; it filled him with guilt.

The train took them the long way around the city, allowing Tris some time to rest. Her sleep was fitful and she woke often, sometimes screaming or asking if things were real, only to fall back into what looked like unconsciousness. Natalie soothed her each time she woke, tears filling her eyes at what had become of her children, and how she had no idea how to help either one.

"Her feet," Natalie whispered, noting the small cuts and abrasions from the metal stairs and the rough sidewalks. She wiped them clean as best as she could before taking off her own shoes and placing them on her daughter's feet.

They roused Tris as the train was approaching their stop, and she looked around, confused. Natalie helped her down into the factionless sector and they stood there, unmoving and unblinking, listening to the unmistakable sound of gunfire.

"What is that?" Marcus asked, orienting himself towards Abnegation.

"It can only be Dauntless soldiers," Natalie said.

"Why are Dauntless soldiers firing guns?" Tris asked, turning to her brother; he lowered his head and put his hands in his pockets. She blinked a few times, bits and pieces coming to her as the fog began to lift from her head. "Wait, are they shooting in Abnegation? What about Dad?"

Natalie frowned. "Your father will be fine. We have to get you all somewhere safe."

Tris's eyes roamed from her mother to her brother to Marcus, fully realizing for the first time that he was there with them; her hands clenched into fists. "Safe?" she seethed. "There's nowhere safe with _him_ around."

"Beatrice!" Caleb reprimanded.

"No! You have no right to talk! You don't know the things he has done! He beat Evelyn and Tobias for years. Mom had to help them escape and they had to live factionless because he's an abusive monster. He _murdered_ Evelyn with his bare hands. And really, you're no different, Caleb. Abnegation is under attack because of you, and all those people are going to die, too!"

" _What?_ " Marcus's voice was quiet as he turned around. Tris paled as the look on Marcus's face went from disbelief to anger, her words having slipped out without a second thought. "What did you say?"

Tris stumbled as she stepped between her mother and Marcus. His eyes flashed with something she had never seen before in anyone, let alone the man who led her faction peacefully for her entire life. She felt small, fearful, and in that moment she understood completely why Evelyn had done it, how much courage it had taken to get her and Tobias away from the monster masquerading as a pillar of virtue.

"Marcus," Natalie warned from behind Tris. His eyes flicked over to her for only a brief moment before he reacted. Tris saw his fist swing towards her and felt the hard sting on her cheek; her head was swimming as she fell to the ground. Marcus lunged at her, his expression oddly calm as his arms stretched out to grab her. "No!" Natalie yelled, rushing to intervene. "Run, Beatrice! Get out of here!"

Tris lay frozen as she watched her mother take on Marcus, her small hands struggling, trying her best to fend off his larger ones. She heard screaming and felt a hand on her, but Tris couldn't tear her eyes away as her mother kicked and punched desperately at Marcus to no avail. He landed a solid blow to her abdomen, and as Natalie gasped for breath, Marcus closed his hands around her throat.

"You traitorous bitch, you were the one responsible for their leaving me!" he yelled, nearly frothing at the mouth, his eyes wild and his face red.

"Mom!" Tris screamed, scrambling to stand. Caleb and Cara grabbed her arms, trying to pull her away, but all she wanted to do was run towards the pair as they struggled against one another. That was her mother, and Marcus was going to kill her.

"Beatrice! We have to go!" Caleb's horrified face was in front of hers, pushing her further away as she clawed at him, screaming, trying to help her mother. Tris used her knees and elbows as she hit them both, trying to free herself from their grip. "Do you want him to kill us, too? There's nothing we can do! We _have_ to go!" Tris took one last look at her mother, her face red, her motions slowing, and turned away, tears streaming down her face. Her mother had sacrificed herself to protect her and her brother; she knew they had to honor that sacrifice by getting away while they still could, despite the agony she felt.

They ran as fast as they could through the factionless sector, the sounds of gunfire echoing louder with each step. Tris wiped her eyes and stopped to get her bearings, making sure they weren't followed.

"What now?" Cara asked as she tentatively touched a scratch on her cheek. "We can't go to Abnegation, and we can't go back to Erudite."

"I know where we can go," Tris said, her voice hoarse, the events of the past few minutes sobering her into acute awareness as she looked at the broken street sign in front of her.

It was only a few blocks away, but it felt like a lifetime before they made it inside the decrepit building. She led Caleb and Cara through the hallways and down the stairs until they were in the room where she first exited the city. "What is this place?" Cara asked, stepping closer to Caleb.

"It's how we're going to get out of the city. But for now, we have to wait."

Tris slid down the wall and kept her eyes trained on the shelving unit, tears steadily falling while she prayed that Tobias knew she was there, and that he would come sooner rather than later.


	30. It Just Keeps on Getting Harder

"Amar?" He spun in his chair to see Matthew standing in the doorway. He looked nervous, and it immediately put Amar on edge. "I need to talk with you. It's about Four and… George."

Amar took in a sharp breath. George had just returned yesterday, looking at Amar as if he didn't even know him. "My shift is over in an hour."

"I'll meet you at your place," Matthew said, leaving Amar to wonder how he knew where he lived. 

Amar paced back and forth in his kitchen until there was a knock on the door. He smiled tightly at Matthew as he stepped aside and let him in, offering him a glass of water before they both sat at the table together. "This isn't easy to tell you," Matthew started, "But you are someone Four respects, and this does concern you." Amar raised an eyebrow as Matthew pulled a tablet from his bag and slid it across the table. Amar picked it up, flipping through the pages of reports. It took him some time to start registering that the reports were from the cities that had been shut down, places George had been visiting. He did a double-take when he realized the reports all had the same outcome: they all had a high success rate of healed genes. 

"What the…" Amar wasn't sure how to phrase the questions he had forming inside his head. 

"We're being lied to," Matthew explained. "By David, by the Bureau, by everyone. These experiments weren't shut down because they failed, they were shut down because they _succeeded_."

Amar kept going through the information. The dates, the cities — some were before George began his new position, but there were many after. Even though Amar's suspicions had been raised, it still hurt to have proof that George was a part of the lie. "Okay…" he said slowly, looking up at Matthew. "What now?"

"I think we need to get to Four."

Tobias gawked at the small screen outside of his cell, trying to decide if he was really seeing his father, or if he was simply imagining it. He rubbed his eyes, still crusted with sleep, and looked again: Tris was definitely being thrown over Marcus's shoulder. Tobias could feel his heart rate rising, the panic setting in as he wondered what his father was doing taking Tris from her cell. He held his breath when they left, his patience wearing thin while he waited for the facial recognition software to pick her up on another camera. Minutes passed with no change, and he feared the worst when the cameras failed to pick her up. There was a flash of movement that sparked hope, but it was only an Erudite looking into the cell. Tobias continued to wait for what felt like an eternity, but the camera never shifted. Tris was somewhere, with Marcus, and he had no idea how he was going to get out and find her. 

"Hey!" he yelled out, hoping someone would hear him, take pity and give him something he could latch onto, but there was no one around. He lay down on the floor and stared at the ceiling, thinking, planning out how he would get a gun the next time they came to let him shower. Tobias didn't care if he got shot, nor did he care if he was killed trying. All he knew was that he had to get out. He had to find her, and he had to make David pay for everything he had done.

He glanced at the tablet often, unsure if he was relieved or disappointed that it hadn't changed. He let himself lose it for a moment, accepting that he might not be able to get out. That he might never find her or see her again. Tobias hadn't really cried since his mother died, yet in the few months he had spent with Tris, his emotions had gotten the better of him more than once. At first, he had been alarmed that she had that kind of power over him; Tobias had never thought he would know what it meant to truly love, to give all of himself over to someone else with no questions asked. But now that he did know, it was one of the few decisions he didn't regret in his entire eighteen years. He loved Tris, and he would do anything for her. 

At first he didn't notice the approaching footsteps as he lay there, too numb to think of anything other than his loss. But they became louder, hurried, and he stood, flattening himself against the wall, hoping to take advantage of whoever was coming. 

"We have less than five minutes, so don't fuck around and no questions." Tobias nodded, frozen in place for only a split second before leaving the cell and hurrying down the hallway after Amar. "Shit is going downhill fast. The Dauntless are moving, more than likely to target Abnegation. Jeanine has gone off the grid. Marcus has been visiting Erudite—"

"I know. He took Tris," Tobias said.

"What? How? Never mind. We're doing this together. I have a few more on our side, but we've gotta be quick about it, and not second-guess anything. Are you ready?"

"You really have to ask?"

Amar smirked over his shoulder as he approached an intersection. He stopped and let out a whistle, and the same whistle was returned a second later. They rounded the corner to see Ruby standing there, a grin on her face. "Oh, how I've missed that sourpuss face," she said, winking at Tobias and tossing him a vest. As he slipped it on, she set down a bag and opened it to reveal an array of guns and ammo, as well as a few medical supplies. "I'll do my best to cover for you. Ben should be tripping the emergency beacon any second now. That should buy you a couple minutes of confusion to slip out undetected, but Neil will be running interference on the camera system as best as he can, just in case."

"Neil?" Tobias asked, surprised. 

"Yeah. It's almost like you made a few friends here over the years." He shot Ruby a look, and she rolled her eyes. 

"Train is the last confirmed location," Amar said. "She's with her mother and brother, that Cara girl… and your father."

"What the hell is he doing mixed up in all of this?" Tobias asked.

"No idea. Cameras picked up the brother escorting him out of Erudite before. Maybe he asked for help?"

Tobias snorted derisively. Marcus selflessly helping anyone without benefit to himself was the last thing that would happen. It made him worry that there was some hidden benefit to taking Tris. "Where's the train heading?" he asked.

"Taking the scenic route around the city. They'll pass Dauntless and the factionless sector before getting to Abnegation."

"Train doesn't stop in Abnegation," he commented. "They'll get off in factionless."

"Good thing we were heading there anyway."

The lights turned off, the emergency beacons indicating that the building had lost power. "Go get 'em, tiger!" Ruby yelled as he and Amar took off. The underground was fairly empty during the day, but that didn't stop them from running into a few people. Most of them didn't give them a second glance, thanks to the power outage; they assumed they were running to take up a post. Amar grabbed a set of keys and opened up a van, yelling for Tobias to hide in the back. They were out of the building before the power was restored, and Tobias held his breath when they reached the gate checkpoint. 

He could hear their soft murmurs, and even a laugh or two as Amar chatted with whoever was working the gate. After a few moments the van began to move, and Tobias let out a relieved sigh. They had made it out of the compound. 

"What did you tell him?" he asked as he climbed into the passenger seat.

"That David needed me to go out and check the transformers around the edge of the fence."

"There aren't any transformers around the edge of the fence," Tobias said, his mouth turning up on one side.

"Yeah, but who's going to question their superior officer?"

The drive was a long one, made longer by the desire to know what was happening and the desire to get to Tris and make sure she was okay. He stopped himself once or twice from yelling at Amar when he slowed down, forgetting for a moment that he, too, was risking everything for her. 

"What made you change your mind?" Tobias asked.

"Hmm?"

"You're not exactly a rule breaker, Amar." 

Amar shrugged. "Sometimes things change." 

Tobias didn't want to press the subject, but he needed information; being locked up had left him out of the loop. "Matthew found something, didn't he?"

Amar sighed. "It's no fun learning everything you believed in is a lie."

Amar filled Tobias in on how Matthew had come to him, laying out all the information he had hacked out of David's — and subsequently George's — communications. Every last thing they knew about the outside world was a lie; keeping it a secret had only served to keep David in some sort of power. Coupled with everything that had started happening in the city, Amar and Matthew had decided they couldn't wait while things fell apart even further, and Tobias became the first thing on their minds. 

"I wish I could say I was surprised," Tobias said, after letting it all sink in. "But now that you've said it out loud, it all makes perfect sense." He gave Amar a small smile. "I gotta say, I'm impressed."

"What? You didn't think I had it in me?"

"To break the rules?" Tobias chuckled. "I'll admit, I've questioned your unwavering loyalty sometimes. But I think I always knew it was in there, buried deep down or something."

The corner of Amar's mouth lifted. "Sometimes you just have to play the game. I think you know that pretty well." 

Tobias nodded with a newfound appreciation for his friend. "How did you get everything set up so quickly?"

"I keep telling you this, but you have actual friends who are more than willing to stick their necks out for you."

"Right. And I guess the knowledge that everything's gone to shit had nothing to do with it?"

"Not at all."

Tobias checked the time in the van, cursing that he didn't have his watch. He knew it was too risky, that they could track him if it were on, but he felt like a part of him was missing. He did the math in his head, figuring Tris would already be in Abnegation by now. 

"You can't go in guns blazing," Amar said, glancing at him. "We have to make a plan and stick to it."

"The plan is to get Tris. I don't care about anything other than that."

Inside the tunnel, the lights flicked on just far enough ahead of them as they drove, making it feel as never-ending as always. Tobias flexed his hands, itching to get into the city; she was so close he could almost feel her. He opened the door before the van came to a complete stop, and headed to the back to gather every weapon he could fit on him while Amar pulled a tablet out of a side pocket. Tobias watched impatiently as he checked for updates on the city before they went in. Tobias grew nervous as Amar went completely still, his eyes glued to the tablet. He dragged his eyes slowly up until they met Tobias's. 

"What?" he asked nervously. Amar turned the screen, unsure of how to put into words what he was watching. The Dauntless were marching in formation, their guns raised and their faces blank. They mercilessly shot any Abnegation who stood in their way, even those who had their hands up in surrender. Tobias was both scared and furious that this was happening, and that Tris was somewhere in the middle of it. Amar finally shut the video off when a group of small children were gunned down as they tried to run away. 

"It's just the two of us," he commented. "And they're more than likely killing whatever is in their way."

"We'll be fine," Tobias said, his voice firm. He had to believe what he was saying, otherwise he wouldn't get through it. 

Amar took a deep breath and nodded, handing Tobias an earpiece and a spare watch. "It's not yours, but if something happens…" Tobias put it on without a word, understanding the implications of what Amar had just said: if he were to be killed, they would have a way to track and retrieve his body. They were quiet as they walked through the tunnels, Amar looking for constant updates. 

"They _did_ get off in factionless," he said, just as they reached the doorway. Tobias was thankful that there were people in the Bureau who were willing to help them, willing to risk their own safety to make sure they were as prepared as possible. "There isn't any information after that, though."

Tobias turned on the scanner to see three bodies on the other side of the wall. He eyed Amar, who pulled a gun as a precaution, and he did the same. Opening the door and pushing the shelving aside, he took in the room and its occupants, blinking a few times to make sure his eyes weren't playing tricks on him. "Tris?" he whispered, crouching down next to her sleeping form. He looked over his shoulder at Caleb, who was shielding Cara. 

"W-who are you?" Caleb stammered. Four stood up, Caleb stepping further back into Cara when he reached his full height. 

"The boy from the sim," Cara answered. Caleb's eyes raked over him once. 

"I'm Amar, and this is Four. So, what happened?" Amar interrupted, shooting Tobias a look — this wasn't the time to puff out chests. "How did you get here?"

"She led us here, after…" Caleb went silent as he looked down. 

Cara stepped out from behind him and introduced herself before thoroughly detailing all that had transpired, including their escape, Tris's mental state, and Natalie's death. Tobias was crouched near Tris the entire time, his anger steadily rising. Marcus had helped her escape, but for what reason? There was always an ulterior motive where Marcus was concerned, and now there was the added guilt of his father having killed Tris's mother. Tobias knew things would never be the same between them, but he pushed aside his own fears and worries, and roused Tris.

At first she looked at him like she didn't know him. Like she didn't remember everything they had said and done in their time together. But then she reached a hand out and gently caressed his face, taking in every last detail of him before bursting into tears and clawing at him to pull him as close as she could. Tobias wrapped his arms around her and stroked her hair, whispering that she was safe, and that he wouldn't let anything else happen to her. 

"My mom," she suddenly said, clamoring to stand, her arms thrashing as Tobias's grip tightened around her. "I have to get to her! I have to help her!"

"Tris… you can't." 

She stilled in his arms as realization washed over her. The tears came harder as he held her, her body shaking with grief. Tris had been right there, and she hadn't been able to save her own mother. She was a coward who had run instead of fighting. Her eyes lifted to see her brother standing nervously in the corner. "You," she seethed. "This is all your fault! You let her die!" 

She was surprisingly hard to control as she launched herself at Caleb. He flinched, turning away from her as Tobias held on. Tris channeled the hurt and the anger of everything that had happened at Caleb. Tobias had half a mind to let her go, to let her get it all out. After her movements slowed, her anger spent, Amar stepped in between the two groups. 

"I know you're hurting," he said calmly, "But we need to go. We need to get out of here in case the Bureau decides the city is lost."

"Lost?" Cara asked. "Bureau? Is it too much to ask that we be filled in on what's going on and where you'll be taking us?" Amar shook his head and gave them the most basic information. They both looked skeptically at each other, but Caleb knew it had to be true. Tris was proof enough of that.

"And now with Abnegation under attack—"

"Abnegation." Tris looked up at Tobias; her eyes were pleading as she spoke. "My father."

Tobias took a deep breath in and nodded, even though he had no idea how he would find Andrew. "Let's get back first, formulate a plan—"

"No." She shook her head rapidly. "There's no time. They're going to kill them all."

“Tris, I understand, but–“ “No, you don't!” She collapsed a little into his arms, the guilt and the pain of everything consuming her. 

"I can stop it." The three of them turned their heads towards Caleb. He took a tentative step forward, and cleared his throat. "It's a program that's controlling them. In the serum that Beatrice's simulation testing helped us perfect, there's a transmitter." Tris shot Caleb a look, and he stepped back. "The, umm, the transmission can be interrupted, and the Dauntless would stop."

"How?" Amar asked. 

Caleb reached into his pocket, scrunched his eyebrows, then reached into the other one. He patted himself down, spinning in place and looking all around. "I… I must have dropped it when…" 

Tobias huffed impatiently as he watched Caleb pat himself down for the third time. "What is _it_?"

" _It_ is a drive. It has a kill program on it that Cara and I wrote after we learned… Look, all we have to do is plug it into any computer and it will find the source code and destroy it."

"Where did you last have it?"

"When we... uhh…" His eyes flicked over to Tris briefly. "When we got off the train."

Though it was hard for him to still feel connected to the city, Tobias knew that without intervening it would surely be reset. A lot of innocent people would lose their memories because of the actions of a few, not to mention the ones who had already lost their lives. He turned to Amar, who gave him an encouraging nod. "Okay, then you three are going to go with Amar. He'll get you someplace safe while I get the drive and stop it."

"No," Tris pleaded, her fingernails digging into his arm. "Don't leave me."

Tobias felt his chest constrict. He closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them to steadily meet her gaze. "I'll be back before you know it," he said, trying to reassure her. He covered her hand with his, squeezing lightly. "And I'll find Andrew, too," he whispered. Tris bit her lip and nodded as Tobias lifted her hand and pulled her against him. From what he could see, and from what Caleb and Cara had said, Tris was in worse shape than she was letting on. He knew she would keep a strong façade in front of everyone, but he couldn't help but wonder what she would be like behind closed doors. If she would still be the same strong person he fell in love with, or if she would be broken beyond repair. He kissed her on top of her head, knowing that he really didn't care which version of her he got so long as she was safe in his arms. 

Amar gently took her arm and led her through the doorway. She looked back at Tobias only once; she looked smaller somehow, but the soft smile she gave him made it feel like everything was going to be fine. Cara pulled up next to him, inspecting him as though he were under one of her microscopes. "Any computer will do. They're all linked. It should take no longer than a minute to destroy the program and interrupt the transmission. I assume you know where to find a computer and how to properly fit the drive into it?"

"I think I can manage," Tobias answered dryly. Her eyes narrowed before she gave him a curt nod and walked through the door. 

Tobias reached out and snagged Caleb before he could slip by. He winced at the tight grip on his arm, but didn't fight as Tobias dragged him closer. "Where is Marcus?" His voice was low, menacing. Caleb refused to look him in the eye, offering a shrug as a response. Tobias scoffed. "Trust me. You aren't doing him any favors by protecting him. He—"

"He saved us," Caleb interrupted. "I asked for help and he came through. We only escaped because of him."

"Bullshit," Tobias spat. "He was the scapegoat you needed because you were too afraid to do it yourself. Tell me, what did trusting him get your family, exactly?"

He watched Caleb's face drop. Tobias knew it was a low blow, but he wasn't about to thank Marcus for saving Tris while simultaneously destroying her life. Caleb glanced at him, then out to the hallway where his sister was waiting for him. "He hit her," he mumbled. "She tried to get in between him and our mother, but he just…" Caleb lifted a hand as he stared off, lowering it after a moment. Tobias clenched his jaw, his anger steadily rising. "I just… panicked. I didn't…"

Tobias let go of his arm and watched him shuffle out into the tunnel. He knew he was trying to find a way to explain what happened and maybe was even trying to apologize. Tobias couldn't exactly blame Caleb for not intervening in his mother's struggle with Marcus. He knew from his own terrifying experiences the strength of that violent monster, the danger and futility of trying to stop him. Caleb wasn't the real enemy, at least not at that moment. He would have to live with what he had done, and it would be up to Tris to decide whether she could forgive him or not. Tobias shifted his eyes to see her huddled against Amar, eyes wide and face blank: it killed him to know everything she had been through. 

"I'll come back as soon as they're settled," Amar said pointing to the watch on Tobias's arm. "You know what to do if there's trouble." Tobias nodded and walked up to the shelving unit, pushing it back into place. 

He cautiously opened the door and walked out onto the street, the sound of gunfire and screams surrounding him. Abnegation wasn't far, but it wasn't close enough to be so loud, either; he wondered if the Abnegation were actually running into factionless to hide instead of laying down and dying. He jogged towards the train tracks, taking the path that Tris's group would have taken, keeping his eyes open for a blue drive lying on the ground. He saw movement, drew his gun and spun around, only to find someone clothed in black aiming a gun directly at his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder that this story only has 7 chapters left! Thanks for your reviews!


	31. For Your Own Good

Tobias was alarmed to see a young member of Dauntless so far away from the action. They stood mere feet from each other in a stalemate, guns drawn, neither moving. The Dauntless boy was breathing hard, sweat beading on his forehead, and there was a slight tremble in his hands. 

"You're awake?" Tobias asked. The boy relaxed slightly and nodded, spinning around sharply when something broke a nearby window; he was clearly more scared than he was any kind of threat. 

The boy backed up a few paces, moving closer to Tobias, though nothing came into their view. "Who are you?" he asked, turning back around and taking in Tobias's attire. "You're not Dauntless."

Tobias knew it might be a long shot, but having help would speed things up. He also had a gut feeling this person would want the simulation to stop just as much as he did. "No time to explain, but I'm looking for a blue drive. The kind that you plug into a computer. You familiar with anything like that?"

"I'm familiar. What about it?"

"It can stop the Dauntless that are under the simulation. All I need is an extra set of eyes and access to a computer."

The boy eyed him warily, his hands firmly grasped on his gun. As a sign of trust, Tobias lowered his, though he did not put it away. "How do you know this will stop it?" 

"Because someone who helped create the simulation assured me it would."

The boy puckered his lips in thought, looked him over once more, then thrust a hand forward. Tobias raised an eyebrow and shook it. "Name's Uriah."

"Four." 

"Four?" he said, a wide grin crossing his face. "Now I _have_ to know where you come from with a name like that."

They walked together, scouring the streets for the drive until they were almost at the train tracks. Tobias slowed, seeing a body laying on the side of the road. He looked in all the windows and doorways for any sign of Marcus while Uriah walked over to an adjacent alleyway and bent over. "This it?" he asked, holding up the drive. 

Tobias examined it and nodded, deciding there couldn't be more than one blue drive to find. He pocketed it and looked back at Natalie's body. Walking over to her, he noticed for the first time just how alike she and Tris looked, until his eyes drifted down. The marks on her neck were vibrant, fresh. Tobias thought about the way Marcus had also wrapped his hands around Evelyn's neck and grit his teeth. He wouldn't get away with this. He would pay for what he had done to Natalie and to his mother.

Sighing, he picked up her small frame, cradling her in his arms. Uriah looked on curiously for a moment, then nodded as he held his gun up, leading the way back to where they had started. Tobias's eyes never stopped moving, looking for signs of Marcus, simulation-controlled Dauntless, or even any factionless. He briefly wondered if they had hidden themselves away, moving deeper into the decrepit buildings. He wouldn't blame them if they had.

Tobias placed Natalie's body safely out of sight inside the building they used to enter the city. The gunfire was still going strong, and Tobias knew the Abnegation had to be hiding or fighting back. If they had simply lain down and died, it would have been over a long time ago. He and Uriah crept through the alleyways, keenly aware of every noise and movement around them. But being dressed like the rest of the Dauntless gave Uriah an advantage that Tobias didn't have. He pulled up short, weighing his options.

"They'll be looking for gray, right?" Uriah said as Tobias stared down at his attire.

Tobias shrugged. "I'm assuming."

"Then just act like you're one of them. They're like robots right now. I don't think they can process the difference."

Tobias stilled when he heard a loud cry, followed by a triumphant cheer. Uriah's eyes were wide as they stared at one another. Tobias finally moved forward until he could see the gathering crowd of Dauntless and their leaders standing on the steps of Abnegation's Council building. "Shit," he muttered. 

"There a back way?" asked Uriah.

Over the years, there weren't many times Tobias wanted to be associated with his old life. But as they circled around, stepping over the bodies of the innocent men, women, and children that littered the streets, Tobias felt his heart surge with both pride and anger, still feeling like he belonged to them. No matter how out of touch they seemed at times, this had been his home. These were his people. 

Abnegation was beginning to quiet, and it felt like every step they took was as loud as the gunfire from earlier. He cursed Abnegation's selfless desire to let their streets deteriorate to gravel and sand, and held his breath as they eased up to the back of the Council building. Uriah held his gun firmly as Tobias opened the door, the two of them sneaking in. Tobias could recall only one computer, his father's, and slunk down the hall towards it. 

There were voices echoing from somewhere in the building. He could hear Uriah breathing behind him at his same rapid, shallow pace. Tobias had no idea what would happen after they stopped the simulation, or if it was even necessary anymore. It could already be too late. A loud bang startled them both, and they quickly ducked into a nearby room. 

"I don't think he knows," a deep voice said. "We're just wasting our time."

"Oh, he knows," another male voice responded. "That's the problem with these Abnegation. They've all been brainwashed to tell lies in the name of selflessness. But it doesn't matter now. There's only so many places a person can hide in the city, and he'll have to come out eventually. We should get back to Erudite. Just let the sims kill the last of them and be done with it."

Uriah's head snapped towards Tobias. "That sounds like Eric," he whispered. "He's one of the Dauntless leaders. He must be a traitor if he's awake and killing Abnegation."

Tobias turned to see Uriah close his eyes and shake his head. He'd only just met the boy, but he knew exactly how he felt: helpless. They were both startled when a gunshot rang out, and Tobias couldn't help but wonder who they were questioning, who they just killed. He took a quick look around the room and gripped Uriah's shoulder, shaking it; there was a computer on the desk behind them. They moved quickly, Uriah turning it on while Tobias pulled out the drive, his hand hovering next to the port. He cursed while he watched the screen load, Abnegation's technology being so much older and slower than what he was used to at the Bureau. As soon as the screen came on, Tobias plugged in the drive. 

The two of them stood completely still, and Uriah held his breath. They heard the computer begin running, then after a minute, nothing. "Is that it?" Uriah whispered. "Is it over?" Tobias crept to the door and cracked it open, listening. At first there was nothing but silence, then a few strangled cries rang out before turning into a loud, angry roar. Uriah sighed with relief as Tobias grabbed the drive, cautiously making their way back into the hallway. Tobias was sure it wouldn't be safe for him to walk out the front door; he was surprised to see Uriah following him back the way they came.

"What?" Uriah said when Tobias raised an eyebrow at him. "I'm not going out there, either." Tobias nodded, looking down a hallway when something caught his eye. He crept forward, nervous to see so much blood pooling out into the hallway. Uriah stayed put, weary of seeing so much death. 

Tobias's heart dropped when he recognized the body laying on the floor. He shut his eyes, trying to rid himself of the image of Andrew's bruised and bloody body. He was done; he'd had enough of seeing everyone from his past riddled with bullet holes, not to mention how Tris was going to react. He took one last look to be absolutely sure: most of his face was bruised and covered in blood, and one eye was swollen shut, but it was definitely Andrew. It was too big of a risk to take him to be with Natalie now, but at least here he would be found and given a proper burial. If there was anyone left from Abnegation to do it.

Tobias walked with determination, Uriah trailing a half-step behind. He needed to get back to the Bureau. He needed to check that Tris was secure, and he needed to plan with Amar and Matthew on how they were going to make the Bureau pay for the lies they had been telling; they also had to figure out a way to put the city back together without causing any more deaths. The Dauntless that they did pass as they walked were too busy crying or arguing with each other to even notice. They were at the edge of the factionless sector before he knew it. 

"Listen, Uriah. Thanks for all your help, but you should get back to Dauntless. I'm guessing they'll have one hell of a time pulling themselves back together after this."

"What if I don't want to?" He looked away, towards the sounds of shouting and fighting. "I don't know if I can go back there after what happened. I don't know if my brother, or my friends…" He was quiet for a moment before a hard look crossed his face. "Dauntless will be split. The leaders, they clearly weren't under mind control like everyone else. They _willingly_ did this."

Tobias let out a loud breath as he studied Uriah; the pain on his face was evident. He seemed calmer than most Dauntless, and Tobias guessed that the reason he wasn't under the sim was because he was Divergent. He knew it was just as dangerous for Uriah to be in the city as it was for Tris or any other Divergent. With Dauntless being caught up in the middle of everything, Tobias couldn't leave him to fend for himself.

"Tell you what: do you think you could find your friends and your family?" Uriah shrugged, but then nodded. Tobias glanced at his watch. "Train should be passing by in fifteen minutes. Ask around that crowd or get to Dauntless, find them, and bring them back here. Wait inside the basement of the building where I left the woman, and I'll come back for you."

"Okay, but where are you going?"

"You think two hours will be enough?" Tobias deflected.

Uriah shrugged. "You didn't answer my question."

Tobias flashed him a smile. "That is a long story that I'm only going to tell once. Bring whoever you want, and I'll tell you then." Uriah gave him a nod and shook his hand before taking off. 

Tobias jogged through factionless. He tried to get into contact with Amar; when he didn't respond, Tobias panicked slightly, worried that they had been caught and were being held by David. But he also knew there was a small space between the Bureau and the city where communications sometimes dropped out, and he chose to believe that to be the cause. He had just made note of the time so he could call again in five minutes when a gray figure came into his peripheral vision. 

He didn't even need to look to know who it was. He could feel his body immediately reacting as a shiver of fear raced up his spine. But he chose to focus on what Marcus had done to Tris and Natalie instead, and the desire to lunge in his direction and wrap his own hands around the man's throat surged through him and overpowered his fear. Tobias took a deep, calming breath and turned slightly, patiently waiting for Marcus to speak first. 

"I always knew you were alive," Marcus said, approaching slowly. "I never gave up hope that I would find you." Tobias clenched his jaw, almost unable to contain his eye roll. His father didn't care about him, he never had. Tobias briefly wondered how his father had managed to avoid the conflict and where he'd been hiding. If Tobias knew just one thing, it was that nothing was impossible where Marcus was concerned. He considered the possibility that Marcus knew something more about the attacks since he had been in Erudite and had helped Tris escape. Perhaps learning what his father knew might present an advantage.

"Marcus," he said coolly. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing. All these years that I've been without you, and look at you. My son, all grown up." Tobias let a strained smile through, and reluctantly motioned with his head for Marcus to follow. 

He silently thanked himself for placing Natalie's body where it couldn't be seen as he led Marcus through the door and into the tunnel. Tobias carefully watched his reaction: he didn't seem surprised for someone who was just finding out all of this existed. 

"What exactly is going on?" Tobias asked, trying to remain calm as they walked down the tunnel. 

"Madness. Anarchy. The Dauntless came in with their guns drawn and started killing Abnegation indiscriminately. They've lost their minds."

"But you managed to find a place to hide?"

"Well, someone needs to be around to restore Abnegation after the dust settles."

"And the rest of the Council?"

Marcus narrowed his eyes but said nothing. He knew Abnegation was more than likely destroyed. Even if there were some members who had survived, that would hardly be enough to restore the faction to what it had been. Jeanine had played him for a fool, and he knew there wouldn't be much of a chance for him to retain his position of power. Marcus was done with the city, and setting his sights on wherever Tobias had been living suddenly seemed like a more viable, profitable option. 

"Tell me about where you have been all these years. Is your mother there?" 

It took every ounce of restraint for Tobias to keep moving. "No," he answered, his voice calm and level. "She left years ago, and nobody's seen her since."

"Oh. That's a shame."

Tobias debated with himself on how to proceed. There was a part of him that wanted to put a bullet in Marcus's head and be done with it. There was also a part that wanted to take him back to the Bureau and have him face charges for what he had done. Although he was sure he wasn't high on anyone's list anymore, he knew there had to be at least one person in the Bureau who could convince David that punishing Marcus for his crimes was something worth doing. Tobias glanced over his shoulder to see Marcus smiling; he balled his fists and trudged forward. 

They were outside the tunnel before they knew it, the long walk giving Tobias time to think and collect himself. Rather than wait for Amar, he started walking down the path, afraid that standing still would somehow make things worse.

"I don't know why I thought it would look different," Marcus commented as they passed the rubble of what was once someone's home. "I thought we'd come out here and just… see things, people, anything. Instead, it's the dreary wasteland they always told us it was. Well, clearly there must be _something_ out here. I doubt you're living in a shack in the middle of nowhere."

Tobias picked up the pace and called Amar. "I'm on my way back," Amar greeted. "Took a little maneuvering, but I got them in. Status on your end?"

"Complete. Sim was shut down and I'm outside the city walls."

"Copy. See you in fifteen."

Tobias walked even faster, Marcus frantically trying to match his pace. Marcus kept staring at him; it was taking everything Tobias had not to shout at him. 

"Well, I can see that wherever we're going, you're in a respected position of power." Tobias snorted. "I always knew you would turn out to be better, that my corrections would work. Snuffing out that part of your mother inside of you was the best thing I ever did. Son, I am so pro—" 

Tobias didn't let him finish his sentence.

The punch was hard, swift, and it took Marcus a moment to even register that he was laid out in the street. Tobias was breathing heavily, his fists still clenched tightly. "Son?"

"Don't 'son' me," Tobias spat. "I am _not_ your son. I know what you did, you piece of shit. I know everything."

Marcus's calm demeanor vanished; his expression morphed into one that Tobias knew all too well. It was the one he associated with violence and anger. Marcus stood slowly, puffing himself up to look intimidating, though Tobias was still three or four inches taller than him. "When I assume my position of power—"

"What position?" Tobias yelled, throwing his hands up. "What power? You have no power! You never had any power, don't you get it? You're nothing, Marcus! You've always been nothing, and you'll always be nothing."

"When I assume my position of power," he repeated, "You'll have no part of it. I should have never listened to your whore of a mother, never spared your life when you were a child. I should have smothered you when I had the chance, when I saw the defect inside of you."

Tobias stood there, stunned. He always knew Marcus was a monster, but hearing him speak so freely was a revelation. Marcus would never stop. He would do whatever it took, kill whoever stood in his way, all while clinging to whatever semblance of power he had left — or as he maneuvered to somehow acquire more. Things were different outside the fence, but Tobias knew that Marcus had the cunning and the skills to snake his way to the top and to keep those beneath him from ever taking his power and position away. 

"You were nothing but a burden to me, but your mother loved you dearly, so I put up with every stupid thing you did as a child. I risked everything for her, and this was how she repaid me? By leaving in the middle of the night, plotting her revenge from the outside and using you against me. She had no idea what I was capable of, and neither do you, Tobias. You will not stop me. I killed her, I killed that bitch who helped her, and I'll kill whoever else I have to, and there's not a damned thing you can do about it."

Tobias didn't think twice before he lunged at him. He knew Marcus was right, and Tobias wasn't going to let people's lives be put in danger any longer. Marcus fought back, throwing a few punches, but Tobias let his rage take hold and overpowered his father in one massive punch to the jaw, knocking him to the ground. Tobias straddled him, landing blow after blow to his face. Marcus fought feebly, but Tobias was younger, stronger, and angrier. 

Marcus gurgled, and Tobias stopped, his hands shaking and bloody. "Son," he rasped, "Please. Don't—" He coughed, blood splattering over Tobias's face and chest. 

" _Don't?_ " Tobias seethed. "Don't! Are you asking me to spare your life, Father? The same way Mom asked you to spare hers?" Tobias punched him again. "You don't deserve any mercy. You deserve the same fate you bestowed on all the others, and I deserve to be the one to give it to you." 

Tobias kept hitting, the blows coming harder with each noise Marcus made. "This is for my mother," he grunted out, swinging again. "And for Natalie, and for Tris, and for anyone else that had their lives ruined because of you. But most of all, Marcus," Tobias said, a single sob escaping between blows, "This is for _my_ own good."

Marcus stilled, his eyes wide as Tobias let out a long, guttural scream. He took only one moment to look at his father, one moment to compose himself and see the fear in his eyes before he resumed, letting the emotions flow from his body. He hit him again and again, his tears mixing with the blood on his face, creating a war paint that he never imagined he'd wear. Deep down Tobias knew it was wrong. He knew he was letting the monster inside of him take over, but he just didn't care. It was more therapeutic than he ever could have dreamed. He was doling out the punishment Marcus deserved, and it felt good. 

Tobias didn't hear the van approach, and was startled when he was lifted off of Marcus's body, and tossed aside. "What are you doing?" Amar sputtered, first checking Marcus's pulse, then crouching over Tobias. "What the hell happened?"

"He did," Tobias said, spitting a small amount of blood. "He deserves it, and you know it."

Tobias stood, and hovered over his father's body. He could see the ragged rise and fall of his chest, though Marcus was probably long unconscious. He bent down and retrieved his gun, aiming it. "No!" he heard Amar yell, but he pulled the trigger anyway, narrowly missing when Amar pushed him aside. 

"What are you doing?" Tobias yelled, pointing at his father. "What, are we just going to take him to the Bureau? He doesn't _deserve_ that. He doesn't deserve anything." Tobias raised his gun again, only for Amar to step between him and Marcus. 

"I can't let you do this," he said. "I can't let you turn into him."

"I already have."

"No, I don't believe that. This is not what Marcus used to do to you."

Amar eased forward and gently took the gun from his hand. Tobias was reluctant to let it go as an irrational fear spread through him like wildfire. He was afraid that Marcus was somehow going to stand up, and that he would be caught off-guard and unarmed. He stood completely still as Amar inspected Marcus, then hauled him into the back of the van. He gently guided Tobias to the front seat and didn't say a word as they began driving off the road, towards the Fringe. 

Amar stopped in the middle of nowhere. Tobias finally shifted his gaze, which had been fixed on nothing, and looked over at him. "He's not going to make it," Amar commented. 

"Then why did you stop me?"

Amar's eyes flicked away quickly and he paused; when he finally spoke, his voice was thick with emotion. "Because… I love you, and I can't let you bear that burden. I can't watch you self-destruct because of the guilt. I will not let that man ruin your life with his death. He already did enough damage to you."

Amar got out without another word as Tobias stared on, processing the words in his head over and over. It wasn't until Amar came back for his gun that Tobias finally snapped out of it and saw that Marcus had been dragged out into the open field. There were ruins of buildings scattered around them, and Amar had placed him near a brick wall that was barely standing. 

Tobias leaned forward, watching as Amar aimed the gun and pulled the trigger. Tobias wasn't sure what to think as Amar shot Marcus three more times, then pushed the brick wall over, partially covering him. They were in the midst of nothing but fields and ruins; he would never be found. 

Both men were silent as they made their way back to the road. Tobias admitted to himself that he felt relieved more than anything; he would never have to worry about Marcus again. He knew he was lucky to have someone like Amar in his life. He had never had a functional family growing up, but in the few short years they had known each other, Amar had shown him what it meant to actually be a family, and Tobias was beyond grateful. 

"Thank you," he whispered. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And then the evil trio was down to two...


	32. When it's Time to Make a Change

Tobias directed Amar to head back to the tunnel to pick up Uriah, eager to return to the Bureau as soon as possible. They waited in the van when they arrived, each absorbed in their own thoughts. It was awkward at first; though Tobias had long known about Amar's feelings towards him, he had never heard him say it so bluntly before. Amar glanced over at Tobias, noticing his hands were covered in dried blood, and there were spatters all over his face. He took a deep breath and hopped out, gathering a canteen and the med kit from the back.

Amar opened the passenger door, and motioned for Tobias to give him his hands. Tobias turned in his seat and allowed Amar to pour water over them; he carefully rubbed each hand as he washed away his father's blood. Amar was gentle as he patted his hands dry, and rubbed a healing salve over the broken skin on his knuckles. Tobias took a deep breath as memories of him and his mother helping each other came flooding back. It was a kindness that he didn't expect in this moment, one he didn't quite know how to repay.

Amar wet a small rag and examined Tobias's face, tenderly wiping away the blood. Tobias closed his eyes and let Amar take care of him, allowing the trust that had built between them to finally show. He was desperate for comfort, even if it was only for a moment. Amar tossed the bloodied rag aside when he was done and rinsed his own hands, reeling from his own wave of emotions. He and Tobias had always had a bond of sorts, but now it had transformed into something unbreakable, the two of them bound forever thanks to Marcus. Instinctively, Amar leaned forward and kissed Tobias gently on the forehead.

He had never regretted making his feelings known, but the startled look on Tobias's face made him second-guess his decision. He turned away hastily, only to feel a tight grip on his arm. "Wait." Amar turned back to see only kindness reflected on Tobias's face. Tobias tugged on Amar's arm as he stood and pulled him close, squeezing him tightly. Amar reciprocated, laying his head on his shoulder and feeling the warmth between them.

"I don't know if I've ever said it out loud," Tobias started, "But I had a really shitty childhood." They both chuckled as they broke apart, Tobias's face falling serious again. "You've shown me more in the past few years about what it means to be a family than I learned in my whole life from…" Tobias stopped and was silent for a moment, his eyes closing as the memories flooded in. He swallowed hard, looking at Amar again before continuing. "I know I haven't always been the easiest person to put up with, but you never gave up on me. You've always been there, and I am a better person because of it. Amar, I…"

"Stop. You don't have to," Amar said, averting his eyes. He already knew how Tobias felt about him, and conversely, how he felt about Tris. He didn't want or need to hear it out loud.

"No, I do have to. Amar, I need you to know that _you_ are my family. That _you_ are my blood."

Amar stared up at Tobias for a brief moment then nodded a few times, unable to speak as he staved off the tears pricking at the back of his eyes. He had long known that Tobias would never reciprocate his feelings, but he also understood that a familial bond, one which Tobias willingly chose, held even more significance to both of them. Tobias didn't trust easily, and it was difficult for him to express emotions other than anger. This openness, acceptance, and vulnerability from Tobias, so rare but heartfelt, was far more poignant to him than any romantic 'I love you' could ever be.

Tobias offered him a shy smile which Amar answered with a grin and a small shove to his shoulder, ready to move past the seriousness of their conversation. "Alright then. That's enough of that. Let's go see if your new friends have shown up yet."

They made their way through the tunnel side by side, not bothering with the scanner as they entered the room. Eventually, they heard voices coming from down the hall, and Amar was surprised when he came face-to-face with someone he recognized. "Zeke?"

"Amar! What the…" Zeke brought his hands up to his head. "Am I dreaming? Am I still under the simulation? This has got to be the weirdest day of my life."

"You aren't dreaming," Uriah said from behind him, nodding at Tobias. "This is my brother Zeke, and this is Christina," he said, motioning to the girl who was eyeing him warily. "This is Four, the guy I told you about."

"This is all you're bringing?" Tobias asked.

"All we could find, for now." The three of them exchanged glances.

"Where's the rest of the faction?" Amar asked.

"Not at Dauntless. Some are at Erudite. Others…"

"Headed to Candor, maybe. Or Amity," Christina finished for Zeke. "I heard both theories while I was trying to find people I knew or recognized."

"And Abnegation?" Tobias asked.

"A ghost town. Literally." Christina smacked Zeke on the arm. "What?"

"There's something I need to take care of," Tobias said, pulling Amar aside. "It's for Tris. Fifteen minutes, maybe twenty."

"I'll go with you," Uriah said, stepping forward. He had a feeling he knew what Tobias wanted to do; Uriah felt like he was a part of things now and wanted to see it through to the end. Tobias gave him a quick nod.

The others waited behind while Tobias gathered Natalie, Uriah leading the way. It was surreal for them to walk over the bodies again, this time in complete silence. Uriah felt guilty; although he hadn't killed anyone, his faction had. He didn't have the courage to ask Zeke or Christina if they had shot anyone, but judging by the looks on their faces when he found them, they would also have baggage from this horrible day.

There was a concentration of bodies in front of the Council building; Tobias wondered if they had come here to seek help or shelter. He carefully navigated his way up the steps, and laid Natalie down. He and Uriah took a moment to look through the offices and cubicles, but Andrew was the only one inside. Tobias was surprised when Uriah took the initiative and picked him up, placing him outside next to Natalie.

"Who were they?" he asked as he looked down at their bodies.

"I know their daughter. She's back where we're going."

Uriah frowned. "Does she know?" Tobias shook his head. He wasn't certain if Tris fully understood what had happened to Natalie.

Tobias bent down and grabbed the Priors' hands, clasping them together as best as he could when Natalie's ring caught his eye. He slipped it off, grabbing Andrew's, too. Uriah raised an eyebrow before catching on: the Abnegation didn't have any keepsakes or photographs. This was something Four could take back to their daughter. Uriah looked them over once more before turning to the other bodies: he silently asked for their forgiveness, and hoped that they had all found peace.

They continued their silence as they made their way back to the others, Tobias quickly leading them through the tunnel and instructing them to get into the van. "Not without more of an explanation," Christina said, looking Tobias over. He was an intimidating presence, yet struck her as someone she would want to keep as an ally.

"Get in the van or stay here. Your choice," Amar said as he walked away. Christina huffed before climbing in the back with Zeke and Uriah.

The three listened patiently as Amar filled them in on what had happened since he left Dauntless, and what was happening now at the Bureau. Zeke would open his mouth to speak occasionally, though he never got anything out; it all felt so implausible, but it had to be real. Amar was alive, they were outside of the city, and nobody was stopping them. When he was finished speaking, Amar expected an array of questions, but there was only one.

"So, what do we do now?" Uriah's voice was small, unsure.

"We do what we have to do to set things right." Tobias looked at Amar, at the pain and the determination on his face, and knew his words rang true. Rescuing Tris was just the first step. They couldn't leave the people in the city to fend for themselves, living a lie that David was perpetuating for reasons unknown. They needed to deal with David, to contact whoever he answered to, and they needed to tell the citizens of Chicago the truth.

Tobias crouched in the back of the van with the others as Amar pulled up to the fence. They knew there was a chance that they would be caught coming in, that David would be aware of what was happening, but they were let in with ease and greeted by Jones as soon as they stopped the van.

"Everything is eerily quiet," he said, his eyes flicking to the newcomers. "Not a single alarm has been raised and nothing's being done about the city. It's like none of it is happening."

"Tris?" Tobias asked.

"Safe in the infirmary. Ruby is with her. She's friends with one of the on-duty nurses, so she's keeping things quiet. Amar filled them in on everything when they were brought in. She kept crying, so they thought it was best to put her under a little sedation so she can sleep and recover. I still can't believe…" He trailed off for a moment before his eyes snapped back to Tobias. "I'm just glad we got her back."

Tobias gave him a firm nod, quelling his own selfish desire to run to her side and never leave it. He turned to Amar and raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"Gotta blend these guys in, and probably hide you," he said.

Amar sent Jones back inside to fetch some clothes; Zeke, Uriah, and Christina all changed to look more like Bureau patrol while Tobias hid himself underneath the hood of an oversized sweater. When Amar was satisfied, he gave the three newcomers instructions on how to get to the control room, just in case.

"Neil took down most of the cameras. Been playing it off like it had something to do with the power outage," Jones said, smiling widely at his own idea.

"And David?" Tobias asked as they began to move.

He shrugged. "Holed up in his office, I assume."

They split into two groups and moved through different hallways until they were all safely in the control room. Tobias and Amar gave Zeke, Uriah, and Christina basic information on how the Bureau worked, showed them a layout of the building, and answered the few questions they had. The three of them looked understandably appalled after finding out everything they knew was a lie, but they were more than willing to fight, to set things right, and to make sure the parties responsible for the deception were held liable.

"I need to see Tris first," Tobias said. "Then we need to find Matthew and go from there." Amar agreed, directing the newcomers towards the infirmary, splitting into groups once again.

Jones was correct that the Bureau was eerily calm. The main floor still had working cameras, so Tobias kept his head down, avoiding everything and everyone as he quickly cut through. Amar was bolder as he stopped to check in with Neil who quietly let him know that all the cameras would be back up in no more than fifteen minutes. Amar thanked him before letting him know that things would be happening soon, and that he might want to take shelter somewhere safe. Neil shook his head and smiled, assuring Amar that he would also go down with the ship if that's what it took.

Tobias stiffened when he entered Tris's room; Caleb was sitting next to her, holding her hand. He tried to hold his head high and keep eye contact with Tobias, but he eventually stood, giving the chair to him.

Tobias tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, watching her slow, rhythmic breathing, noticing for the first time the bruise on her cheek. He looked over to Caleb who seemed to crouch further into himself. Tobias had to take a moment to remember that it wasn't completely his fault; Caleb seemed remorseful, and from what Tobias knew, Jeanine was incredibly persuasive.

"How long has she been asleep?" he asked.

"Since we got here. A couple hours," Caleb answered. "She's finally sleeping peacefully."

Tobias felt his stomach knot up; he didn't want to disturb her while she was healing — and hopefully forgetting — but she needed to be a part of this, too. "How long until she wakes up?"

"As soon as we take the IV out," Ruby answered. "It only keeps her asleep as long as she's hooked up."

"Do it."

He waited patiently while Ruby shut things down and unhooked her, grateful that she had a medical background so nobody else had to be involved. Tris stirred within a few minutes and let out a small whimper.

"Tris," Tobias said, shaking her gently. Her arms flew out as she scrambled to sit up, eyes darting around until they found him. She looked around again, taking in the new and the familiar faces as well as the room. Her hand was tentative, gentle as she reached out for Tobias, squeezing his hand when she found it.

"Could you guys give us a minute?" Tobias asked. Amar sighed then nodded, instructing them to go through the door that led to an adjoining room rather than out into the hallway. "Are you okay? How are you feeling?"

"I don't really know," she said. She rubbed her thumb against his hand and looked over the room again before focusing on him. Her eyes stung as the tears started to form; he was looking at her with so much love and concern. Tobias gave her a tender smile before pulling her hand to his mouth and kissing it.

"When I saw Marcus, when he was carrying me…" She paused for a moment, her lip quivering as she looked away. "I've been waiting for it all to not be real. So many times I let myself believe, and so many times I fell for it. I saw you and my mother. Even Matthew a couple times. But then I kept waking up in that room or that cell, over and over and over. And then I didn't wake up. Everything was happening all around me, and I knew it was really happening. I _knew_ , but I still doubted everything. I'm… I'm still not sure."

Tobias leaned forward slowly, pulling her towards him and wrapping his arms around her. "It's okay," he whispered. "I'm here. I'm really here." She closed her eyes and pressed herself into him, inhaling his scent, memorizing again all the things she had fought so hard to hold onto. Her fingers laced with his as she took a moment to relax, to remind herself that she was safe as long as Tobias was by her side.

"I have something to tell you." She pulled away and nodded, wiping the tears from her eyes. Tobias was hesitant as he reached into his pocket, closing his hand around the two rings. He knew she was hurting, but he also knew he couldn't keep this from her. He took a deep breath and pulled them out, holding his palm open. Her eyes flicked down then back up, confusion evident on her face.

"I don't know if your memory is…" He looked around nervously, a hand going up to scratch the back of his neck. "Your mom—"

"I remember," she whispered.

He continued on as gently as he could. "Abnegation is gone, Tris. But I made sure, for you, that they were together."

Tris understood then exactly what he meant. She shook her head slightly, hoping that maybe he was wrong, that there was some sort of mistake. Her eyes drifted down to the rings in his hand; all Abnegation rings were identical, they could belong to anyone. But as soon as they touched her fingertips, she felt a connection to them and she knew.

She let out a stuttered breath as she slipped them onto her finger and held them close to her heart. Tobias gave her a moment, waiting for her to unleash a flood of tears, but none came. She began rocking back and forth, willing herself to wake up and realize that it had all been one terrible nightmare; she would open her eyes to see her mother's loving face telling her it was time to get ready for school, and her father would be at the table, reading the paper while they had breakfast. She never took the aptitude test, merely dreamt it, and she never heard the word Divergent. She even imagined that she had never met Tobias. She could have saved them, she thought, if she had simply stayed in the city.

She slowly opened her eyes to see that nothing had changed. "I need to be alone. I need to… think."

"Tris, we don't really have time—"

"I don't care!"

Tobias pulled back, unsure where her outburst came from. He waited for her to look up, to acknowledge that it wasn't because of him, but her gaze was fixed on the bed in front of her. "Fine," he said tersely, joining the others in the adjacent room.

Caleb made a move to go back to her, but Tobias caught his eyes and shook his head slowly. Caleb dropped his gaze to the floor and shrank back into the corner with Cara.

"I'm glad she's okay," Tobias heard, and turned to see Matthew.

"I wouldn't exactly call her that," Tobias muttered. "But we need to move, we need to plan. What have we learned?"

"David answers to an agency called the North American Alliance — the NAA. The results from our testing, all of it, are sent directly to them. After that, I have no idea what happens. I found some correspondence from the NAA stating that they were worried about the experiment, that it wasn't achieving the results they desired, especially since this is one of the older experiments."

"Wait. We aren't the only one? How many are there?" Caleb asked.

"Active? Three, I believe."

"How many have been shut down?"

"Over the years, I can't even begin to guess. But I got a message out telling the NAA exactly what's been happening, and that all the reports they've been receiving over the years have been falsified. No response yet, but that's not all." Matthew took a moment to look at each one of them before taking a deep breath. "Just before you got back, I overheard David talking to someone. They're voting on a reset. They've probably already done it."

"Shit," Amar muttered.

"Reset?" Christina asked, looking at Zeke, then Uriah. "I know we're the new guys here, but you gotta start filling us in."

"To put it simply, it means they are going to wipe the memories of everyone in the city, and restart the experiment."

"But our friends and family," Zeke said. "I mean, if they're still…"

"They are." Uriah gave his brother a hard look. "How can we stop it?"

Matthew shook his head. "I don't know if we can."

The group stood silently for a moment as they each contemplated the implications of what could happen. Uriah comforted Christina while Zeke stared off into the corner of the room. Tobias felt guilty, having no one in the city left to care about; the only people he cared for were either standing beside him or safely lying down in the next room.

"There's always a chance they won't," Tobias said, trying to reassure the others. "It's not something that is easy to implement once it's agreed upon. They'd need more help than they have here to catch everyone early enough to give them new memories and a new life. I still don't understand how they did it before."

"Before?" Cara said, looking around the room. "When?"

"A couple generations before us," Matthew answered quietly.

"Why?"

"War." The room was quiet again as they looked at each other. "Makes it kind of hard to learn from past mistakes if you don't know what they are."

Uriah nodded along, before speaking up. "Wait, we're not going to be affected, are we?"

"No, we're too far away. Besides, we have vaccines just in case."

"Then let's give the vaccines to our families! That way it won't matter," Uriah said, smiling.

"We would if it was that easy," Amar answered. "But first, we don't have access to the vaccines. And second, even if we did, you'd have to get there before the plane, find your friends and family, and inoculate them in front of everyone else. You know, the people you _don't_ have vaccines for. Does that sound like something you want to do in front of a bunch of Dauntless?"

Uriah's smile vanished. "Plane?" he said after a moment.

"Air travel," Amar said, dismissing Uriah's curious streak. "Look, I'm not trying to downplay the seriousness of the situation; it's just very complicated."

Caleb cleared his throat and took a step forward. "What if we do it?" The group looked around at each other for a moment, waiting for him to elaborate. "We could just use their own serum against them. They can't erase the city if they can't remember it."

"You want to erase the Bureau?" Tobias asked.

"Well, yeah. I mean, they're calling the shots, right? If we can stop them, then we can control the situation. We can make them do whatever we want."

"Caleb, I'm not so sure—"

"Let's do it."

Tobias turned to see Tris standing in the doorway. She had changed into the clothes Ruby had brought for her, and Tobias was relieved to see her looking more like herself. She had that spark in her eye, the one he fell in love with, and it took everything he had to not scoop her into his arms and tell her how glad he was that she was back.

"I am not going to sit here while they let the city destroy itself, and I'm definitely not going to allow them to just erase what's left after everything is said and done." There was a flash in her eyes, and Tobias knew she was serious. "We need to fight back. We need to tell the people the truth, and let them decide for once. I am not a lab rat." Her voice was strained as she looked directly at Caleb. "And neither are they."

"I agree," Cara said, stepping forward. "But where do we start?"

"I think I can help with that," Matthew said, a smile crossing his face. "Those in charge aren't the only ones keeping secrets."


	33. This Fire Brings Me Pain

Matthew launched into an explanation of how he had volunteered his time about a year ago to help make a surplus of various serums and vaccines for the Bureau to distribute to all their experiments. While the supplies had been given to each scientist under strict protocols, they hadn't been perfectly measured: for every eight vials of serum or vaccine, there typically had been enough left over to make a ninth. They were instructed to discard their leftovers from each batch, but Matthew had saved them, lying about broken vials to steal them and hoard a surplus for himself.

"I just wanted to be prepared, to have a backup plan of my own," he said, shrugging. "Guess that's what years of realizing something's not right does to a person."

"How many vaccines do you have?" Amar asked, impressed that Matthew had had the foresight to prepare for any eventuality.

"Enough."

"Do I want to know why you have memory serum, too?"

Matthew looked at his watch, ignoring the question. "I should be able to get back here in fifteen minutes. Is that enough time to formulate a plan? Because the cameras are probably back up by now, so we've lost the small amount of cover we had. If we're going to do this, we need to move quickly."

"We'll make it work," Tobias said.

Matthew took a deep breath, giving himself a chance to organize his thoughts, when he felt a soft tap on his shoulder. "I don't think it's a good idea for anyone to go anywhere alone." Cara was staring up at him, a determined look on her face. "I'll go with you."

"No!" Caleb stepped between the two of them, quickly clearing his throat. "I mean, I'll go. You stay here."

Cara looked back and forth between Caleb and Matthew before agreeing. While she appreciated Caleb's enthusiasm for keeping her safe, she would have to remind him that she could handle herself. It had been her, after all, that had come up with the plan to get everyone out of Erudite. Matthew and Caleb slipped out of the room quickly, leaving the others to discuss what needed to happen.

"It's airborne," Amar reminded Tobias, "Which means once we release it, there's no stopping it, and it's going to affect everyone."

"Shit," Tobias muttered. Not everyone at the Bureau was responsible for what was going on, and they didn't all deserve to have their memories wiped away any more than the people in the city did.

"How many people are here?" Cara asked, stepping forward.

"Not sure of the exact number. Six hundred, maybe closer to seven."

"There's roughly five thousand people in the city. Probably more, because I don't think the factionless counts are accurate. While it's not ideal, there will be less of a loss generated here than in the city."

"Is there any other way?" Christina asked. "Can't we just find the people responsible and arrest them?"

Tobias slowly shook his head while Amar appeared lost in thought. "There is a chance that could work," Amar said, chewing the inside of his cheek while he calculated numbers. "But there are only eight of us in our group who know how to handle a gun, and just four that have the actual training to do anything like this. Bureau Patrol consists of one hundred and twenty-seven trained soldiers and reservists who might possibly have been ordered to shoot us on sight. It's clearly the bigger risk."

"I concur," Cara said. "We don't have the time to try and recruit more people to help at this point, so memory loss here is the lesser of two evils and the safest choice for us. So how do we go about doing this?"

Amar explained that the serum worked like a virus: once it came into contact with a host, it would easily spread to anyone else the host encountered. Maximum exposure would guarantee a quick rate of infection, leaving them a rough timeframe of a few days in which to help Bureau residents relearn basic information about themselves. They would help whoever they could; as long as David and those who helped him were held responsible and the city was free to make its own decisions, that was what mattered the most.

"Air ducts," Cara said as Matthew and Caleb slipped back into the room. "Is there an intake somewhere nearby?"

"Closest one is down the hallway that leads to the conference rooms and David's office," Matthew said. "Why?"

"Of course it is," Tris muttered.

"We need the memory serum to spread as much as possible. An air duct will be the fastest way," Cara added.

"Ahh, right. There's one towards the back of the research labs if that makes you more comfortable."

"No," Tobias said. "We need to move fast. We'll go for the closest one."

The vaccines were passed around, everyone helping to inoculate one another. Caleb and Matthew were talking quietly in the corner, Cara watching as they assembled a crude mechanism to disperse the serum.

"You okay?" Tobias asked Tris, pulling her away from the group. She kept her eyes down, but nodded. He placed his fingers underneath her chin and gently lifted her face until she was looking at him. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I tried to get to you sooner."

"Tobias, please—"

"It was all I could think about," he continued. He needed her to know that he didn't willingly leave her there alone to fend for herself. "I confronted David, demanded that we go in and rescue you, and instead he locked me in a cell. Tris, it killed me to watch you go through the things that you did."

"You saw?" Her eyes darted back and forth as they began to fill.

"I saw everything, Tris. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

She nodded and stepped forward, allowing him to wrap his arms around her. She felt so safe, so secure in his embrace that she didn't want it to end. She wanted to stay in that moment and forget that everything else existed but the two of them. "I love you," he whispered. She nodded, unable to say the words back. Tris knew she loved him, but after everything that had happened, she needed to take some time for herself to adjust and deal with the loss of her parents. It somehow felt wrong for her to love when they no longer could.

"Can I have a minute with Caleb?" Tobias took a deep breath and let her go, heading to Caleb to send him over. He looked nervous as he went to his sister. Tobias watched her hold out their parents' rings for him to see. He had to fight the urge to put some of the blame on Caleb; whatever Tris decided — to forgive or to blame — he would do his best to respect it. After a few moments, he watched as Caleb brought his hands up to his face and Tris barreled into him, her arms squeezing him tight. The small group quieted, watching the siblings as they reconciled, giving them a little time to grieve together.

"We should move," Amar said, Tris pulling away at his words.

"Wait." Matthew pulled out a few extra vaccines. Tris walked over, taking them all. "Caleb and I already decided we'll be the ones to deploy the serum. We'll give you five minutes." He looked at his watch, prompting Amar and Tobias to do the same. "There are only three vials, so you'll have to decide who gets them and who doesn't."

Amar immediately reached out and took one from Tris. He knew George would be in his office at this time. He rolled the syringe between his fingers, debating on whether he deserved it or not. George had turned into someone he hardly recognized anymore, but he was still George and he still loved him. He looked to Tobias who gave him an affirmative nod.

"Neil," Tris said. "Any objections?" Nobody said anything. "Okay. Then that leaves one, so speak up."

"Emma," Tobias responded quickly, and Tris turned to look at him. She knew how important Emma was to Tobias. The tattoo artist had been one of the first people to learn his secret, and to give him comfort and guidance in choosing how to deal with that pain. She looked to the others, who seemed to have no objections, and handed Tobias the last syringe.

"Okay. Five minutes," Tobias said. "Is there anyone who wishes to _not_ be a part of this?" He looked around at the faces slowly shaking their heads, and took it as a sign that everyone was willing, until his gaze landed on Cara. She was holding her head high, but Tobias could see the fear in her eyes. "Cara, it's fine if you want to stay here. In fact, I'd prefer it if you felt like you were going to be in the way."

"No," she said, her voice slightly wavering. "I can do this. Just tell me where I'm needed."

"Let her go with Ben," Ruby said. "She can be his lookout. I'll take all the newbs with me directly to the hangar. Can you handle that?" Cara nodded emphatically. She quickly followed Jones out of the room, the two of them needing more time to cut the power and trigger the emergency beacons for the second time that day.

"Good. Everyone else clear on the plan?" Tobias waited for them all to agree again, and looked to Matthew who gave him a thumbs up.

Zeke, Uriah, and Christina all checked their guns, then huddled around Ruby who instructed them to shoot to kill anyone trying to stop them before they reached the hangar. If no planes had been deployed yet, it was up to them to make sure it stayed that way. Matthew worked to make Caleb look more relaxed. He tossed his Erudite coat aside, ruffled his hair, and undid the top few buttons of his shirt in an attempt to make him look more like one of the scientists and less like an outsider. Tobias had his eyes locked on Tris the entire time, watching her shift back and forth on her feet as her eyes drilled a hole in the floor.

"On my mark," Amar said, catching everyone's attention. Everyone with a watch held their arm up, pressing the timer when Amar said, "Now."

Ruby quickly led the Dauntless out of the room; their destination was the farthest away. Within twenty seconds of their departure the power cycled down, leaving the others free to head out as a group. Bureau members milled around the compound, complaining loudly about how the power grid was failing and the infrastructure wasn't what it used to be. Tris found Neil easily; she apologized as she told him to stay calm and that she wasn't going to hurt him. He nodded and flinched when she discreetly pressed the needle into his arm. She apologized again and quickly left to where Tobias was waiting; Neil stared on as he tried to piece things together.

"Where would Emma be?" Tris asked as they hurried down a hallway.

"She works night shift, so sleeping or tattooing. Her room is the closest, so let's try there first."

They sped quietly through the housing area, urgently knocking on her door after making sure no one was around. Tobias pressed his ear to the door, listening for any signs of life, then banged again as hard as he could. Two and a half minutes had already passed, and they couldn't wait any longer. They no longer cared about making noise as they ran through the dim corridors, pushing people out of their way without apology. When they threw the door open to Emma's tattoo room, it was empty.

"Shit!" Tobias looked at his watch and ran his hands through his hair.

"Where else could she be?" Tris asked, trying to simultaneously catch her breath and keep her weak limbs from shaking. Tobias only shook his head. "Emma!" Tris called out in frustration.

"What?" The two of them looked at each other in shocked surprise, then peered down the hallways trying to figure out where she was. "Who's there? I can hardly see in this damned low-ass light."

Tobias took off first, Tris just behind him. "Ow! What the… Four? What the hell did you stab me with?"

"No time," he said, holding her firmly by the shoulders. "Just… find somewhere out of sight for now. And stay there until Tris or I find you, okay?" She looked between the two of them, seeing the seriousness etched on both of their faces, and nodded.

Tris led the way back to the screen bank, expecting to see a crowd of people with blank expressions. Instead, as she passed, she could hear their voices continuing to discuss the Bureau's power outage. Neil looked at Tris and Tobias with a mix of curiosity and confusion, still trying to figure out what was going on.

"Something's wrong," Tobias muttered as he looked at his watch. "It should have deployed already. These people should be anything but coherent."

"Maybe it takes longer or it hasn't reached this part of the Bureau yet?" Tris offered, though she wasn't willing to wait around to find out. She upped her pace as she started down the hallway Caleb and Matthew should be in.

"Tris, wait. Maybe we should—"

Tobias ducked, grabbing Tris on the way down as a few gunshots rang out. Tobias couldn't be sure which direction they had come from. Tris was trembling in his arms, and he pulled her closer, trying to soothe her as best as he could. "Wait here, okay? I'm just going to check if those shots came from the lobby, then I'll be right back." He held her gaze until she nodded, and then sprinted back the way they had come.

Bureau members were crouched down everywhere he could see, and the few conversations he could hear indicated that they didn't know where the shots came from, either. He sprinted back, his heart rate shooting even higher when Tris wasn't where he left her. He rounded the next corner to see her leaning against a wall.

"Tris," he said, turning her to face him when she didn't respond. Her eyes were glazed over and she was pale as she stared off at nothing. "Tris!" He shook her slightly, worried that she had been injured somehow. He quickly looked her over, feeling on her arms and running his hand down her legs. "What is it? Please talk to me."

"Why?" Her eyes finally found his, the glazed-over look replaced with brimming tears. It wasn't the word she used, but rather the way she said it, that made Tobias question her response. Her lower lip trembled as a moan filled the silence. She squeezed her eyes shut, spilling the tears that had gathered. Tobias pulled her into him, and as his gaze shifted, lifting off her and moving down the hallway, he finally understood what was distressing her so much — Matthew and Caleb were lying on the ground, motionless, blood pooling around them.

He released Tris and stepped around her, guarding her from whoever had shot them. He could see the device still in Matthew's hand, and he crept forward; the plan still had to go through. Tobias inched forward and peered into the adjoining hallway, only to hear another shot ring out."Fuck." It was the hallway to David's office, and there was someone with a gun guarding it.

"Who is it?" He turned to see Tris right next to him, her eyes suddenly full of fire and her voice full of venom. He shook his head; it was just dim enough that he couldn't see, the only light coming from the emergency beacons. Tris tugged on his arm gently, then more insistently when he wouldn't move. He reluctantly stepped aside, watching as she crouched down and peered around the corner. He held his breath, waiting for the shot, waiting to leap or pull her back, but it never came. She reached out towards the device; her fingertips were only inches away when the power abruptly turned back on.

"Tris!" Tobias yelled as a succession of shots rang out. She let out a loud cry as he pulled her back, clutching her arm. "Are you hit? Let me see. Let me see!"

"It's just a scratch." She grit her teeth and moved her hand; he pulled her long sleeve up, revealing a graze along her forearm.

A laugh rang out: it started low, then grew louder until it was a full belly laugh, filling the quiet corridors. "Oh, little girl," a voice taunted, "I'm not done playing with you yet."

Tobias tore at his own sleeve until it ripped, tying a piece of the fabric around the wound. The pit in his stomach grew as the words repeated in his head, the voice just out of his memory's reach until it finally dawned on him. "What the hell are you doing, Briggs?"

Briggs laughed again; Tobias's anger rose at the mocking tone. "Just put the guns down and surrender. I promise I'll go easy on her."

Tobias closed his eyes and clamped his jaw shut tightly. He knew their plan wasn't foolproof by any means and that David would likely place a guard at the first sign of suspicious activity, but why he would choose _Briggs_ of all people was beyond him. There were at least ten other guys he could think of that were more trustworthy and reliable; he had to be missing something.

"Oh, come on, don't be shy now," Briggs called out. "You two were so gung-ho just a moment ago, running headfirst into a situation when you're two steps behind everyone else."

Tris scrunched her eyebrows as she digested his words. She elbowed Tobias, and motioned for him to follow her lead. Before he could protest, she was standing next to Matthew, her hands held up in surrender.

"Hello, sweetheart." Tris fought the urge to vomit as a smile curled over his teeth. "Long time no see. Give me your guns."

"I don't have one."

"But your little boy-toy does, and if he wants to keep you in one piece, he'll do what I say. Hand your gun to her, slowly. Don't want you getting any ideas."

"Fuck," Tobias whispered. He stepped out with one hand raised and handed Tris his standard issue. She eyed it, then Briggs, as Tobias slowly knelt down and took a knife out of his boot, hoping the extra piece would be enough incentive to buy Tris time for whatever she had planned. He tossed it carefully, holding his hands up only halfway as he stood; he still had a gun in the back of his waistband. "Tris," he muttered. She nodded and slid the gun down the floor to Briggs.

"Good girl. It's not like you were going to shoot me anyways," he taunted, kicking the weapons aside. "Now, how about you walk towards me real slow so we can get this wrapped up?"

Tris kept her feet firmly planted. "I'll cooperate if you tell me what you know."

"Who says I know anything?" he teased.

Tris was sure that Briggs was hiding something, especially if he was taunting them, acting like he knew more than them. She had been through so much: being captured, being tortured, losing her family. She was desperate for any information that could help her fit all the pieces together and make sense of everything that had happened.

"Then I guess we really aren't two steps behind," she said, cracking a smile. "You'll have to tell David—"

"David?" Briggs said with a laugh. "And they call _me_ dumb."

Tris glanced at Tobias trying to figure out what Briggs was insinuating. He shook his head slightly as Briggs brought his gun up and scratched at his temple.

"All you supposedly brainy types are too smart for your own damned good. You never think about people like me, about what we might have to offer. Did she ever think that I could maybe get my hands on information that would be valuable to her? Nope! I had to sit around and wait until _she_ contacted me. And look what happened! You were able to waltz right in and poke around there for a month and nobody even knew. But once she found out, well... all of a sudden, I was useful to her again. And you!" Briggs said, pointing the gun at Tobias. "I was doing really well here until your obnoxious ass showed up. Then I had to sit by and watch as they took each of my important duties and passed them over to you, while I did all the piss-ant grunt work. Turns out that being stuck in the security room watching monitors has finally worked in my favor, or else I might not have had the chance to catch you and your band of idiots attacking the compound. Now we'll see who David's golden boy is gonna be."

Tris watched as Briggs shifted from foot to foot, working to connect everything he was spilling out as he looked back and forth between her and Tobias. Jeanine had called her a spy when she was in Erudite, and had gloated that David _wasn't the only one who had spies_. Tris took a few steps towards Briggs; Tobias took a tentative step after her. "How did Jeanine do it? How did she get you to be her spy?" Briggs narrowed his eyes at Tris. "Call it my Erudite curiosity," she responded.

"What's it matter?" he snorted. "Won't change the fact that she considers you a loose end. I'm gonna kill you first and watch while he suffers."

His movements were fast, but Tobias was faster. He shouted her name as Briggs clawed at her, trying to pull her towards him. She dropped to her knees, crying out when Briggs grabbed her arm, twisting it. She stayed as low to the ground as she could and curled into a ball, the gunshots deafening in such close proximity. She was afraid to look when they stopped: Briggs's hand was still wrapped tightly around her. It wasn't until she felt his fingers being pried away that she opened her eyes.

"Are you hurt?" Tobias was as gentle as he could be as he scrambled to look her over.

"I'm fine, I'm fine. What about you?" She sat up, looking at Briggs's slumped body first before taking Tobias in; she inhaled sharply when she saw the red spot forming on his thigh.

She was careful as she examined his wound, pulling off her top shirt and using it as a makeshift tourniquet. Tobias looked over her thin frame, seeing for the first time the physical evidence of just how much she had been through. Her tank top hung on her loosely where it used to fit snugly, her collarbones were more pronounced, and her arms had lost the definition they had once had. He stopped her busy hands and pulled her close, softly cupping her face. She was fighting back tears, looking everywhere but at him.

"Tris," he whispered.

"You'll probably need stitches," she said, pulling away. "We need to finish this and get you to the infirmary."

She helped Tobias stand, carefully watching as he limped towards Caleb. She hesitated, took a deep breath, and followed after him. Tobias was examining the device, trying to figure out how it worked, when they heard a loud, ragged breath.

"Caleb?" Tris dropped to her knees and grabbed Caleb's hand. "Stay with me, Caleb. We'll get help, okay?"

"The… s-switch." His voice was no more than a strained whisper. Tris followed his eyes up to Tobias, who was frantically trying to find a switch on the device.

"Caleb, there's no switch. How do I do it?" Tobias leaned down as much as he could, holding the device directly in front of Caleb.

He brought a shaking hand up slightly, and pointed to a hole in the side. "B-broken."

Tobias angled the device towards the light, noticing there was a trigger inside the hole. "I need something small, like a pen or something to push in here, Tris." She was reluctant to let her brother's hand go, but she began searching his pockets for anything that could be useful. She turned to Matthew, taking a second to feel for a pulse first. When she was sure there was nothing, she started to feel around his pockets. As she did, she noticed a small pouch lying next to him; there were tiny screwdrivers inside. She held one out to Tobias, who gently pressed it into the device.

They could hear the hissing immediately, and Tobias stood tall, holding both his hands up as close to the vent as he could manage. Tris watched, listening to the air intake run, pulling the serum in. There had been a continuous stream of voices from the direction of the screen banks, but within a few minutes, the noise died down until there was nothing.

"Did it work?" she asked.

"Only one way to find out." He turned to hobble down the corridor.

"Wait. I'll go."

"No. I'm fine, Tris. This is more important." He motioned to Caleb. "I'll bring help."

Tris nodded, then realized there could be no help: they had just wiped the memories of everyone who could possibly save her brother. She let out a sob and leaned down, holding him against her.

"I love you, Caleb. Please hang on. I can't lose you, too." She could feel the warm stickiness of his blood on her arms and face, but she didn't care. He turned his head slightly, and she pressed her cheek to his. The movements underneath her were slowing, his breathing becoming more shallow. His hand found hers, and though it was barely felt, he squeezed with all of his remaining strength, trying to tell her that he loved her, too, until his breaths stopped and his body went slack.

"No! Caleb! Don't leave me!" Tris wept, holding his body close, willing him to take another breath. Her sobs echoed off the walls; she had lost her entire family in one day. They weren't perfect, but they were hers, and now they were all gone.

Tris wiped her tears as best as she could, and took one last look at both Caleb and Matthew. They didn't deserve to die like this. Nobody did. She stood slowly, focusing all the anger she could feel building onto one target. She picked up Tobias's gun from the floor as she walked past Briggs's lifeless body, steady and determined, to confront David.


	34. A Seed Needs the Water...

Tobias limped into the lobby and was greeted by the blank, confused faces of people he'd seen every day for years. He sighed, then made his way to the closest one: a woman he'd met before named Wendy. He spent a moment with her, at least making sure she knew her name, until he caught Neil doing the same thing with some of the others. 

"Hey, Neil. Listen—"

"What's going on? Why is everyone acting like they don't know who they are?"

"Because we reset their memories," Tobias mumbled. "It was our only option."

"And I wasn't reset because…" He stopped, gripping his arm as he realized why he was unaffected. "Oh."

"You know most of these people, right?" Neil nodded. "Then do what you can to help them at least remember their names. Basic stuff like reading and general knowledge of their job will remain, though it may not be accessible for a while. I've got to find someone, get some help—"

"Four!" He turned to see Amar jog up. "George is secured in a holding cell. Your status report?"

Tobias gave him a quick rundown on what had transpired with Tris and Briggs, that Matthew was dead, and that by now, Caleb probably was, too. He left Neil with instructions that if Ruby or Jones were to pass through, they were to help him start working on the memories of the people affected by the serum release. 

He and Amar made their way as quickly as they could back to Tris, only to discover she was missing. Tobias cursed under his breath while they confirmed that Matthew and Caleb were both gone. "Go," Amar told him. "I can't just leave them here like this. I'll be right behind you as soon as I can. Just… don't do anything rash, Four."

Tris walked with purpose, determined to set everything right and to avenge every unjust death. She was tired, so tired, but she knew she couldn't give up now. David needed to answer to her. He needed to be held responsible for every lie he had told that had led to this moment. 

She threw the door open to his office without a second thought; he was seated behind his desk, eyes on a tablet. She wasn't sure if she wanted to find him staring at the wall, his memory wiped clean, or acting as though it were just another day at the office. "Ahh, Beatrice," he said, his voice unaffected by the day's drama, "Did you really expect me to not have a full complement of vaccines here in my office?" He eyed the gun in her hand. "Please, sit down." 

Tris was cautious as she took a few steps into the room. She observed David for a moment, watching his routine movements as he went about his business as usual. A part of her wondered how he knew about their plan, but deep down she knew there wasn't a single thing that went on at the Bureau that escaped David's notice. She continued to stand, resting her free hand on the top of the chair directly in front of her, and waited patiently for him to finish and give her his undivided attention. 

"You know," he started, turning the tablet off and setting it aside, "I think I underestimated you. Though you went behind my back, your resolve and your determination, the purity in your heart that led you to believe you were taking the correct course of action, is leaps and bounds ahead of where I assumed it would be. I would be willing to overlook your indiscretion, because you and I, we could do marvelous things together. You are the shining example of what it means to be pure, and I could give the world what it needs if—"

"There is no you and I, David!" He looked taken aback at her interruption. "There never was, and there never will be. There is no such thing as a pure, perfect person, nor is there a need for one. I know everything you have done and the way you deceived us. I know about the lies and the manipulated data you sent to your superiors. The world is healing without you, David."

"The world needs me!" He slammed his fist on the table, a few papers scattering. He stood slowly, pointing an accusing finger at Tris, his calm demeanor replaced with anger. "I am the reason you are here," he seethed through his teeth. "I am the reason you are even alive, do you understand that?" Tris raised an eyebrow, convinced that David wasn't just on a power trip, but that he was delusional, too. "Without me, you are nothing! You and I will get through this, one way or another." David made a move around his desk, and Tris took no chances. 

She kicked the chair she was standing behind into David with all her might, lunging when he was caught off guard. Tris summoned all her strength and knocked into him with her shoulder, screaming as pain shot through it. David looked up at her from the ground, surprised again by her confounding behavior. Before he could move, she raised a shaky hand, pointing the gun at him.

"Now, now, Beatrice." His calm demeanor was back as he held his hands up in surrender. "This isn't like you."

She knelt down and pressed the gun to his forehead, her hands steady. "No, David. This is _exactly_ like me." She pressed the gun harder into him, gritting her teeth. 

"They've corrupted you," David whispered, his eyes darting back and forth. "It's the only explanation. You're pure, you can't possibly commit…" His eyes flicked to hers, as if she weren't pressing the barrel of a gun to his head, her finger on the trigger. "Brainwashed. He brainwashed you! This is what happens when you congregate with vermin! They turn you into… into this!"

"They aren't vermin, they're people! People you would know nothing about because _you_ decided they weren't worthy. But every person is worthy, David. And that's something you'll never get the chance to figure out." She cocked the gun, and pressed it even harder against his skull.

"Tris?" Her heart dropped at the sound of Tobias's voice, but she refused to let him distract her. "Tris, please."

"Tobias, just… _don't_."

"You can't do this," he pleaded. "I know you think it's right to kill David, that it will make you feel better by getting revenge for Caleb and Matthew and everyone else. And I won't argue that he doesn't deserve it, and that you might even feel good about it at first. But I know you. You'll think about it every day. How you looked into his eyes and decided that he should die. How you watched the life leave his body. It will eat at you, Tris, and you don't deserve to have your life ruined further by him."

Marcus hadn't left the back of his mind since their confrontation. Though Tobias didn't pull the trigger himself, he was directly responsible for him ending up dead in the middle of nowhere. There was no doubt that Marcus deserved what he got, but it was something that would stick with Tobias for the rest of his life. He should have kept his temper under control and let Marcus be dealt with through the proper channels. While it wasn't quite guilt he was feeling, it was close enough, and he knew it would kill Tris to feel the same way for the rest of her life. 

"As if she has any other choice now," David spat. "You poisoned her with your defective mind. She would never be in this position if it weren't for you." 

"She's always had a choice," Tobias murmured. 

Tris stood slowly, keeping the gun aimed at David as she tried to weigh the options that warred inside of her. After everything she had been through, her instincts were screaming that she needed to kill or be killed. If she let David live, who was going to stop him from continuing his lies? What if nobody believed them? David had all the advantages since he was in a position of power. Whatever happened, Tris knew for sure she could never forgive herself if she stood by and allowed things to continue on without change. The world needed to be rid of David's influence. 

"I knew you couldn't shoot me. I knew the purity inside of you wouldn't allow you to do it. Your purity makes you so much more advanced than these—" Tris let out a growl and pulled the trigger. She watched David writhe in pain, ignoring his cries as he tried to hold his knee together. Tobias looked at her in surprise, an odd mixture of confusion and pride crawling through him.

"I got tired of everyone thinking I wouldn't do it," she mumbled. "I'm not perfect, and I'm not pure. I can kill just as easily as anyone else."

Tobias slowly made his way to her and tried to ease her away from David, turning their heads towards the door when someone cleared their throat. Tobias raised his gun and put himself between Tris and an older man he didn't recognize. "Now, there's no need for that," the man said, holding his hands up. David let out another cry, and the man raised his eyebrows in that direction, unable to see him behind his desk. "This is David's office — I'm assuming that's him making all that noise back there?" 

Tris placed a soft hand on Tobias's arm as she moved to stand next to him. They shared a glance before Tobias spoke up. "That depends. Who are you?"

The man extended a hand and took a few small steps forward, revealing Amar waiting behind him. Amar nodded to Tobias, who lowered his gun. "Forgive me. My name is Alexander Ross, and I am the commanding officer of the NAA. We were contacted by Matthew Cole, but your colleague here has informed me that he is deceased." He glanced down, finally able to see David's contorted face. "So, who's in charge now that David is 'indisposed'?"

"There are other council members," Tobias said, "But their whereabouts and mental state are unknown at this time."

"I see. Things are a little… messy here, aren't they?" Commander Ross took another look around David's office. "The question still stands, though."

"Amar," Tris answered. 

"We all are, Commander," Amar countered. 

"Well, I guess we'd all better get to work then; there's a lot to be done here. And please, do call me Alexander."

They accompanied Alexander into a nearby conference room where he relayed orders for the other council members to be located, for David to be picked up and transported to their nearest secure facility after he was stabilized, and to retrieve George from his cell for transport, too. They were seated on one side of a table, while Alexander and a handful of other people they had never seen before sat across from them, one setting up a camera. Tris shivered and looked up at the ceiling when thunder rumbled in the distance. A young woman handed Tris a damp towel with a kind smile; she used it to wipe some of Caleb's blood off her hands.

"I hope you don't mind. This makes things easier to verify at a later date," Alexander said, motioning to the camera. They were uneasy, though they understood. He motioned for Tris to start, and she knew that in order for things to make sense to someone who had no knowledge of anything that had happened, she had to start at the very beginning. She felt like she talked for hours, getting choked up a few times when she recalled what she could from her time inside Erudite. Tobias rubbed her back and squeezed her hand a few times while Alexander scribbled things down and slid papers to various people to begin pulling information on every name Tris mentioned. After she finished, Tobias and Amar gave their accounts, too, the three seeming to verify each other's stories even during the time when they had been apart. 

The low rumble they heard earlier was growing louder, making Tris wonder just how much time had passed. She hated being cooped up, and she hated having to recall everything she had been through. She wanted time to grieve and to think without anybody asking her to make things worse by reliving every nightmare she'd endured. 

Alexander apologized for monopolizing their time, and for not noticing that both Tobias and Tris had injuries that needed attention. They both waved him off and agreed to head directly to the infirmary. Tris's wound had begun healing already and only required a small amount of glue and a bandage, while Tobias's was a little more serious: the bullet had sliced through his flesh, requiring seven stitches. 

They checked her shoulder, too, rotating it and verifying she hadn't injured it when she charged at David. When she was given the all clear, Tris slipped away. She wandered through the Bureau, checking on Neil and Ruby and everyone else busily helping members of the NAA to restore memories. She had completely forgotten about the chance that a plane could have been deployed; she was relieved to learn that although David had initiated the memory wipe protocol, Ruby and the Dauntless that went with her were able to prevent them from reaching the planes, and the city was still intact. She briefly wondered if Alexander and the NAA were going to step in and stop what Jeanine had started, too. On emotional overload, Tris rushed through the hallways until she was outside, away from the incessant buzz of activity that was happening all around her. She needed space and time to think or forget, or do anything at all besides deal with what was happening in front of her. 

She ran as hard and as far as she could, letting out a sob when her legs gave out and she dropped to her knees. With nobody around and no walls surrounding her, she felt like she could finally breathe. She let everything out: all the tears, all the rage she had bottled up inside. She couldn't help but feel like coming to the Bureau had been the biggest mistake of her life. Thunder rolled again, this time letting a few drops spring free from the clouds. She didn't move when it began to fall more heavily; it felt like she somehow deserved to be alone in the pouring rain.

The temperature dropped, allowing her to breathe even easier; she hadn't realized how stifling it was indoors. She ran her hands through the wet grass, studying how the blades felt against her fingertips and how the water made them slick. She was so consumed with distracting herself —watching how the water pooled or dripped from one blade to another— that it took her some time to realize Tobias was standing at a distance, watching. He walked towards her, his limp slightly lessened. 

"Your leg," she said as he dropped in front of her, a slight wince on his face. 

He shook his head and waved his hand. "Just a flesh wound." 

Tobias studied her face, watching the way she tried to mask her pain from him. His movements were slow as he reached his hands out, waiting for permission to touch her. She lifted her arm slightly and he latched on, afraid if he waited any longer she'd pull it back from him. It started with his fingertips on her hands, rubbing, massaging, trying to erase every last drop of evidence that this day had ever existed. 

He ground his fingers into every crevice before he moved up her arm, using the storm to wash her clean and make her new. It felt good to help her like this. It felt Abnegation. Tobias took his time with each hand, each arm, not noticing her tears that had begun to fall. Every touch from him was filled with care and love, and she felt it all the way down to her soul. 

When her arms and hands were clean, he placed a finger under her chin, lifting her face to his. She closed her eyes as his thumbs roved over her cheeks and her chin, wiping everything away and revealing the perfection underneath. Tobias let his thumb graze the corner of her lips before running his hands down her neck, leaving her unsure if she wanted more when he pulled away. 

Though the rain was falling steadily, a low rumble nearby, there was nothing but silence between them. Tobias wanted to fill it with how much she meant to him, and that he would always choose her over everyone and everything. But there was hesitation evident in her movements and the way her breathing had changed. Even in the slight tremble in her body. He began to feel like he might deserve her distance, like it was a punishment for his greatest sin. 

She stood without a word and walked away from him, away from the building, away from everything. It was too hard to see the look in his eyes, to know how much he cared. She was broken, damaged; he deserved better. 

Tobias felt a pain in his chest as she left him there, alone. He didn't know how to deal with his emotions or hers, he just knew he wanted to be close to her. He needed to feel her warmth and the way she fit against him. He followed her until they were underneath the big tree. It felt awkward to be at the place he first realized he loved her when things weren't right between them. But it also felt like hope, like fate had brought them back to the beginning. There was no denying things were different now, but Tobias couldn't think of a better place to start anew. 

He sat next to her and pulled her to him without a word. His body felt like fire where they touched, and every inch of him was screaming that with her was where he belonged. She curled into him, the tears coming harder. Her mind and body and heart were all pulling her in different directions, trying to tell her that this was both right and wrong and everything in between, until she gave up and let his warmth in. 

"My parents," she whispered against his chest. "And Caleb."

"They died protecting you, protecting their faction. And Caleb…" He sighed. "Did you forgive him?" She nodded. "Then he died knowing you loved him, and that's what's important."

Tris took a moment to let herself feel the pain and hear the truth in his words. Her mother fought against a man with a violent past, a man twice her size, to ensure that she and Caleb could escape. Tris wished she had understood how deep her mother's love ran before she left her family behind to come to the Bureau. She wished she could have one last chance to tell them all how much she loved them, too.

She sobbed out the words when the pain became too much. "I don't… I don't have a family anymore."

He pulled back, forcing her to look up at him. "You have me," he offered, sighing when she gave a half-hearted shrug in response. "I never wanted the family I had, Tris. It took me a long time to realize that family doesn't always come from blood relationships. Family can also be the people you choose to let into your life."

Tris nodded, wiping her eyes. He was right, but it hurt to hear the words he was saying, what he was desperate for her to say back. Her heart was shattered in a million pieces; she thought it should be whole before she let anyone back in.

"I can't believe that Marcus…" She stopped, the pain of reliving it again too much.

Tobias's eyes dropped as he admitted quietly, "I killed him."

She studied his face, the hard lines that creased his forehead. He looked at her for a moment, then stared off at nothing as the rain began to ease up. She waited for him to offer up any kind of reason or explanation, but a million thoughts were racing through his mind, along with the ramifications of stating any of them aloud.

"Maybe it's just better this way."

She scrunched her eyebrows. "Maybe what's better?"

"That we're not…" He looked at her for only a second before lowering his eyes. "You and I."

"You and I what?" she whispered. 

"That we aren't together, Tris."

Her heart beat faster at his admission. She knew she was having similar thoughts, but hearing him say it out loud, knowing he felt the same way, too, brought forth a whole new set of emotions, ones that made her realize that she wasn't the only one hurting. "Tobias, what happened?"

He took a deep breath and told Tris everything that happened after Amar brought her back to the Bureau; she had heard most of it when he and Amar gave their version of what happened to Alexander. The omission had come easily when he told the 'official' story, but it felt good to say it out loud now, to tell the truth to someone, even if it meant permanently damaging their relationship. When he finished, he was afraid to look at her; he didn't think he could handle the disgust on her face.

"Tobias, that's not…" She paused for a moment, trying to collect her thoughts. " _You_ weren't the monster."

"Wasn't I?" His eyes snapped to hers. "I beat him, with my own two hands. Given enough time, he would have… He was already unconscious, Amar just ended it a little more mercifully than I would have."

"Tobias, you weren't wrong to rid this world of Marcus Eaton. That man was evil, and he told you that he would kill anyone else that got in his way. He didn't exactly leave you with many options."

"That's not a good enough reason, Tris. There was still another option." He dropped his eyes again, his voice low. "And it's not just that I couldn't stop, I didn't _want_ to stop. The idea of him getting away with what he had done to my mother and to yours… I couldn't live with myself if I just stood by and allowed him to come after you. But none of those things makes what I did right. I let myself become a monster."

He brought a hand up to his face, not wanting her to see the tears that were forming. It stung to say the words out loud, but she needed to hear them. While he could never imagine himself hurting her, he had also never thought he was capable of what he had done. The threat of turning into Marcus —even if it was a milder bastardization of the monster— was a very real possibility, and she deserved to know that.

"I would have killed him, too." Tris's voice was loud, defiant. "Does that make _me_ a monster?"

"No. But Tris, it's different—"

"No, it's not. Your father—" Tris stopped when she saw him wince. " _Marcus_ ," she corrected, "Wasn't someone worth saving, Tobias. He killed your mother and mine. He kidnapped me from Erudite for God only knows what reason. He beat you and your mother for years. He left you with no options other than to live factionless or risk dying at his hand. And these are just the things we know about. Who knows if there's more? Tobias, that man was evil, and you are _nothing_ like him."

He wanted to believe her, was desperate for her words to be true. But doubts were running rampant in his mind the same way Tris's guilt was invading hers. "Come on," he said, offering her a hand after he stood. "There's still so much to do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These two have been through so much, both together and apart, that they almost don't know up from down and left from right. This chapter contains one of my favorite scenes I've ever written. While the idea for Tobias to wash Tris sort of stemmed from the title, I think it was really important to show this intimate moment between the two of them when everything is falling apart and they're essentially lost in a limbo of 'what now?'. I hope you guys enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.


	35. The Purest of Kings

As soon as Commander Ross and the other NAA representatives arrived, things began to change for the better. He was kind, patient, and took everything to heart when he was approached with concerns. Tris and Tobias pleaded to have Jeanine and anyone involved with her plan to overthrow Abnegation held responsible for their actions, while Zeke, Christina, and Uriah made arguments on behalf of the Dauntless, since most of them were innocent and only a small few were complicit in the attack.

The NAA monitored the city closely until back-up could arrive to help restructure both the Bureau and the city. Cara was quick to mention that one of the reasons Jeanine did what she did was because of the existence of a video. Alexander knew what she was talking about, and was able to secure a copy for them to watch. All eyes were on Tris when Edith Prior revealed her name and her hopes for the city; the scrutiny made her uncomfortable. Those from the city agreed that the message was too important to keep hidden any longer, advocating for it to be broadcast citywide to let the citizens decide what should be done. Everyone deserved to know the truth, and if anything was going to change, this was the logical first step.

Though Tris was happy that things seemed like they were going to change for the better, it felt like the video message was another reason to pull away. She didn't want to be the center of attention, nor did she want any more responsibility thrust upon her. She'd had her fill of everyone looking to her when they had questions. She knew they were important questions, but she simply didn't have any answers to offer.

Alexander sensed her unease and pulled Tris aside, giving her files on her family history and the importance of the Prior name, including everything she could possibly want to know about her parents. She secluded herself for the rest of that day, poring over the information and asking if he had any more when she was finished with what he'd given her. Alexander was more than happy to hand over whatever he thought she'd like to know: he gave her access to files that included everything from Jeanine's history to David's appointment and tenure as head of the Bureau. He respected her opinion, and wanted her to be as involved as possible with restructuring the city. She was a direct descendant of the first volunteers, and having her willing participation would make a good impression on everyone.

Tris wasn't terribly surprised when she learned that Jeanine and Briggs were related — cousins, in fact. The files detailed how they had been discovered in the Fringe. Briggs's father, who had been trying to get them all into the Bureau, was killed by someone on patrol who had perceived him as a threat. The children had been devastated, and Jeanine had argued on the spot that by killing the only adult around who had taken care of them, the soldiers were now responsible for their well-being. Intrigued, the patrol members had brought them to the Bureau.

Briggs and Jeanine had gone through the required testing, and while neither was genetically pure, Jeanine's intelligence had measured off the charts. In fact, the file indicated that she had scored the highest out of everyone they had ever tested. The Bureau had immediately wanted to begin grooming her to be one of their scientists, but she was obsessed with life inside the city walls and had refused to accept any other assignment. She had cooperated only when everything was precisely the way she wanted it, and when David promised that Briggs could accompany her when she was ready to be placed inside the city.

Some of Alexander's files contained documents that Matthew had discovered and sent to the NAA as evidence. It turned out that David had maintained communication with Jeanine —who had been placed in the experiment a couple of years before Natalie was found— almost the entire time she was in Erudite. They had fought virtually every time they had spoken. Tris was able to piece together from the notes that at the last minute, Briggs had been held back from going with Jeanine; the Bureau wanted to avoid any suspicions that might arise should two new, unknown people enter the city together. David had refused to consider sending Briggs in after that, using him instead as leverage to ensure that Jeanine would do exactly what he wanted. David had groomed Jeanine to take over for Norton; convinced that intelligence was the superior gene, he had felt Erudite was better suited to be in charge of the city.

As Tris reviewed the arrangements made to insert Jeanine into the experiment, she recalled her discovery of Jeanine's odd paperwork in the Erudite archives. The discrepancies she had found suddenly made perfect sense to her, now that she knew Jeanine had come from the Fringe: her paperwork would have been falsified just as Tris's had been. It felt strange to know that she and Jeanine had both been manipulated and betrayed by the same person, sent to Erudite for the very same purpose.

Tris shook her head as she continued to piece things together, learning that a vengeful Jeanine had used David's own goals against him by trying to dispose of the Divergent, the very people he valued most. Since Jeanine had been such an integral part of the development of the aptitude test, she also had direct access to its results and to the extensive data, which indicated that Abnegation had the highest population of Divergent. Tris shut the file down and rubbed her eyes, still feeling like she was more of a problem than a solution.

While Tris was consumed with discovering as much as she could about the people who had directly affected her life, Tobias gave her the space she needed by volunteering to head into the city with Amar, Uriah, Zeke and Christina. The five of them helped lead a large group of NAA guards into the city to arrest Jeanine, the leaders of Dauntless, and those that were complicit in the plot to attack and overthrow Abnegation. It was agreed beforehand that all leaders were to be brought back alive for interrogation, and that the others were disposable if there was any armed resistance. The NAA broadcast the Edith Prior video message before they entered the city, as well as one from Commander Ross telling them to remain calm and that help was on the way. The guards were heavily armed and expecting a fight when they arrived, but other than a few scuffles and one death, the messages seemed to have taken the fight out of the traitor Dauntless.

It was easy to verify who was complicit and who wasn't, thanks to the obsessive record-keeping of the Erudite. Jeanine was eventually located and had to be injected with truth serum to divulge the whereabouts of her data, a few Erudite even stepping forward with some of their own. A small group of Erudite, including Cara, were appointed as temporary leaders of their faction — at least until things could be resolved in the city. Cara was a little uneasy with the decision to include her, but she accepted, knowing she would be able to help keep Erudite on the right track; the couple of NAA guards left behind helped to ease her discomfort.

With Erudite secure, Tobias's group made their way to Candor to have a meeting with Jack Kang and the Dauntless refugees. Zeke, Uriah, and Christina searched frantically for their friends and loved ones, and even Amar was reunited with some people he knew. Tobias stayed off to the side as they and the Candor gathered in a large hall to listen to the NAA guards speak. Things were quiet at first, until the Dauntless became rowdy, yelling out questions and taunts, some of the Candor even joining in.

Jack was quick to silence them, and offered a compromise: if any of the NAA guards would volunteer to go under the truth serum, then their testimony would be accepted as definitive and the NAA would receive full cooperation. Amar and three others volunteered, all of them receiving an injection and answering Jack's questions. When he was satisfied that they were telling the truth, Jack offered the guards all the help that Candor could provide.

Though the Dauntless were restless and eager to get back to their home, they reluctantly agreed to spend one more night at Candor. The NAA guards would then escort them back to the compound, which would still give them adequate time to set up a temporary chain of command and communication protocols at Candor.

Tobias felt awkward and out of place as he selected a bed for the night; he didn't really belong to these people, these factions. The only thing he felt a part of anymore was tucked away back at the Bureau, trying to decipher her own life and how it had led to the things she had been through. He sighed, wondering how long it would take before she realized that if it wasn't for him, she would have never been in this position in the first place.

"Hey." He looked up to see Amar staring intently, Uriah waiting patiently behind him. "You okay?"

"Fine." Tobias waved his hand. Amar didn't buy it, and raised an eyebrow. "Alright, fine. It's a little… _odd_ , being here."

"Then come with us," Uriah said, a wide grin spreading across his face.

Tobias followed the two of them across the large, makeshift dorm until they met up with Zeke. "Four, this is our mother, Hana. She wanted to say thank you for helping Uri and, you know, stopping this whole thing."

"Oh, I didn't. You don't have to—"

The older woman stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his torso without a word. She was much smaller than her boys, but Tobias could tell right away that she was Dauntless to the core: she had a death grip on him that held him firmly in place. He awkwardly patted her on the back with one hand, feeling heat creeping up his neck when he heard a few snickers from nearby.

"Alright, Mom," Zeke said, grinning as he tried to tug on her arm. "Don't smother him."

"Ezekiel, I am an old woman and I can smother whoever I want."

She placed a hand on Tobias's cheek after she released him, looking up at him with tears glistening in her eyes. "Thank you for saving my sons."

He leaned into her touch, just enough to register with Hana, who gave him a soft smile in return. He could feel the love she had for her boys, a love he missed from his own mother. "You're welcome," he replied quietly. Hana patted his face gently, elbowing Zeke in the ribs as she passed by on the way to her own bed.

"She's lucky she's my mom," he said, rubbing his side for a moment before slinging an arm over Tobias's shoulder. "Let's get something to eat, man."

Their small group found a table to sit at together in the cafeteria, Christina joining up with them after some time spent reuniting with her family. Tobias was slightly overwhelmed at meeting so many new people. He repeated their names in his head — Will, Lynn, Shauna, Marlene — and was met with the same response he always got when he introduced himself. "Four? The hell kind of name is that?"

"Lynn!" Marlene chastised. "Sorry. She's just straightforward like that."

"It's _my_ name," Tobias said, taking a bite of his sandwich and ignoring their stares. They all seemed a little skeptical of him at first, but the majority had met or heard of Amar at some point, so they accepted him quickly.

He was quiet when the topic turned to where they were when they woke up from the sim, and consequently, whether any of them had killed someone. Most of them refused to answer. Zeke couldn't handle the shift in their moods, so he told a dirty joke that got a chuckle out of the group and left Tobias blushing. The group continued to share good memories and lighthearted stories, feeling more at ease as time passed. Zeke nudged Tobias every once in a while, always with a wide, welcoming smile on his face. Tobias finally gave in and smiled back, only to have Zeke announce loudly that Tobias was, in fact, not a robot.

On their way back to the dorms, Tobias realized that even if they had all been brought together by sheer accident, he really liked working with this small group. They were definitely Dauntless, but underneath the tattoos and the piercings and the dyed hair there was a kindness, something he had assumed to be true of Amar because he was Divergent. But it was present in all of them, Divergent or not, and he felt like if he hadn't turned his back on the city, he would have noticed it sooner. That things might have been different if others had recognized it, too.

They woke early the next morning and thanked Jack again before piling onto a train. Tobias couldn't help but be reminded of taking the train to Erudite with Tris as he stood near the doorway, watching the city pass by. It already looked different to him, better, but he knew that feeling wouldn't last if he stayed on and kept going until they reached Abnegation. He dropped his eyes, lazily focusing on the blur of the ground passing by.

"You seem a little deep in thought."

He glanced over to see Zeke. "Abnegation," he said, a frown forming on his face. "There's still some things that need to be taken care of."

"Yeah," Zeke said, nodding. "But I don't think there's many of us who could stomach going back there right now."

Tobias understood the feeling. Still, Abnegation was a pressing matter that couldn't be ignored. "I'm assuming the guards will stop by Amity, too. Perhaps they might be up to the task."

"Yeah, yeah!" Zeke said, trying to sound hopeful. "I mean, they have more equipment anyways. Shovels and stuff…" He cleared his throat. "Hey man, listen. I overheard some of the NAA guards talking about setting up camp at Dauntless while they do what they need to do in the city. I don't know what your situation is, but if you want to stay, I have a comfy couch with your name written all over it."

Tobias smirked. "I'll think about it."

The cameras at the Bureau did the Dauntless compound no justice. Tobias was awed as he took it all in, ignoring the smirks and giggles of those closest to him as he walked into the Pit. Zeke and Uriah gave him a quick rundown of things as he stood by, observing as the NAA worked with the Dauntless to set up temporary leadership. It was loud and informal as they all shouted their recommendations and votes, but he was impressed by how well the whole thing ended up working in the end.

Tobias showered, changed, and settled into Zeke's apartment, both looking and feeling a little more Dauntless. He enjoyed seeing the compound in person, and gladly slipped into the real Dauntless training room, impressing the group with his shooting and knife-throwing skills.

"Not human," Lynn dismissed. "What, did they enhance you or something in their fancy labs outside the city?"

"Aww, jealous?" Uriah joked.

"He's better than you, too, you idiot! I'd love to see him go through a sim. Won't be so amazing then," she mumbled.

Tobias stifled a laugh as Amar walked up, the group dispersing to head to the cafeteria. "Well, what do you think?"

"I think I like it here," Tobias answered, eager to try the cake straight from the source.

 

* * *

 

Commander Ross motioned for Tris to sit down after summoning her to his office. He watched her closely, noting the dark circles under her eyes; she looked like she hadn't slept a wink since they'd arrived. He wasn't quite sure where to begin, and he opened and closed his mouth a few times before speaking.

"Tris, I must say that I feel a certain amount of… responsibility to tell you whatever you'd like to know, since you are directly affected by all of this."

"I'm not the only one," she said quietly. "We're all affected."

He sighed. "I know this. But being a direct descendant…" She flashed him a hard look at the reminder. "I know you've received a lot of information, but there are always things that aren't necessarily recorded in any paperwork."

Tris shifted in her seat; she wondered if she really needed to know about more lies before realizing that she still had questions, probably always would. She gestured for him to continue.

"In the beginning, it was believed that Chicago was advancing at a much slower rate than the other cities. Rather than immediately call the city a loss, the people in charge of the NAA decided to let it continue to serve as a control group of sorts. Milwaukee was also an experiment of ours, and, to put it bluntly, it failed miserably. Unlike Chicago, they were given full disclosure on the project. The people inside expected their children to be immediately fixed, even though they knew that the experiment needed time. When they revolted it was... I can't even begin to describe to you what happened, but they tore down their wall and spread out."

"What happened to the people?" Tris asked.

"Some stayed inside the city, but the majority of them left, opting to not be anywhere that was under government control. The Fringe already existed, albeit in a much smaller form, and that's where most of the people settled. Over the generations it grew too large for us to try and manage, so they were left to fend for themselves. There were occasionally Divergent children that we discovered, like your mother, but they were considered anomalies based on the population size.”  Tris welled up with tears at the mention of Natalie. Hearing Alexander talk about the Fringe, she still couldn't imagine how her mother, so young at the time, had lived there alone, nor could she imagine the hardships she must have endured. She was glad that Natalie had been discovered and brought to the Bureau.

“I blame myself for things getting out of control."

Tris tilted her head and studied the older man's face. "Why?"

He offered her a rueful smile. "I've been in my position for almost twenty-seven years. Like many others, I believed without question every report David sent to us, but I should have known better. I should have checked the research myself, or had it independently verified. What's worse, though, was that none of us ever stopped to think about the circumstances we left these people in. How were they meant to better themselves when the lives that they were living were _never_ going to give them an opportunity to do so?"

Tris shook her head. Alexander was right. The people in the Fringe were tossed aside the same way the factionless were. They were given nothing, yet everyone looked down their noses and blamed them for where they ended up.

"With Chicago, we thought we had found the solution by implanting false memories and implementing behavior guidelines — what you know as the faction system. The behavior guidelines kept the masses under control, but seemed to slow the progression of healing. We assumed there would be curiosity for those that were showing signs of Divergence, but the reverse happened. Prejudices formed and fear of something different took hold; the successful became a target. I would have given orders to intervene earlier, had I been properly informed."

He paused and looked directly into Tris's eyes. "It's important that you understand that it was never the fault of the Divergent, Tris. Being different was never the root of the problem. I have learned over time that humans naturally are meant to have flaws, yet I let my own purity blind me. I didn't question what was happening enough, and for that I am truly sorry."

Tris sighed as Alexander waited for her to process his words. While his apology wouldn't fix what she and other Divergents had been through, and it wouldn't bring back all of the lives that were lost because of the lies David told, it was at least a start she could live with. "So, what happens now?" she finally asked.

"Well, we acknowledge the mistakes that were made and we try to fix them. The disaffected need homes, jobs, food, clothing. No more fighting just to live another day. Since this still falls under my jurisdiction, I would like to set things in motion to open up the city, and extend an invitation for you and your friends to be directly involved."

"We're just kids," she snorted. "What do we know about rebuilding a city?"

He shrugged. "Seems like it would be something your ancestors in particular would want. Besides, you seem to have developed more compassion and understanding in your sixteen years than those of us who have been here much longer."

"I can't speak for the others, but I'll think about it." She pushed her seat back to stand when a thought crossed her mind. "Actually, I have a question I'm hoping you can answer."

"I'll do my best," he offered.

"The gene marker. I know that David had fake results he sent to you, but how was he able to get away with those results if people in other cities were healing?" She bit her lip, waiting for an explanation of what separated her from Tobias. She still didn't understand why she was considered so special when everyone else was not.

Alexander let out a heavy sigh. “David was very… convincing in his reports. But the marker itself was never meant to be the sole indicator of healed genes. Realistically, the marker is more of a fluke than a standard, and we knew that going in. The test for Divergence is the more reliable source, and that should have been the main indicator David was looking for. Instead he seemed more focused on the marker."

Tris was stunned. "Do you know why?"

Alexander shook his head. "I won't pretend to know what his obsession with the marker was; I assume that someone like you was seen as superior in his eyes. But you can't be more healed than anyone else; you either are, or you aren't. In the end, the marker is incidental. A secondary verification, if you will. Divergence is the true key."

Tris mulled over Alexander's words. She wasn't sure if she understood the Bureau's motivations any better, but it helped to have as much information as possible, and to know that the people who could effect change were on their side.

 

* * *

 

When the group came back from their trip into the city, each of them took Commander Ross up on his offer and agreed to a position that would help benefit the city and its surrounding areas. Tris and Christina decided to work together in housing and transportation, while Zeke and Uriah tagged along with Tobias and Amar, working with the NAA guards to arrange for security when transporting new city inhabitants and coordinating with the Dauntless for patrols around the city.

"Do you have the new housing list?" Christina asked as she came into Tris's office. "I don't need it, just tell me how many units there are so we can start arranging for transport."

Tris tapped away on her keyboard, squinting when the files came up. "Looks like only twenty-three were cleared this month."

Christina sighed. "That's all? Why can't we just snap our fingers and have everything fixed all at once?"

"Because then we'd be out of a job."

Tris smiled when Christina laughed, but there were times when Christina was too cheerful for Tris, and today was one of them: Tobias was coming to the Bureau for a visit, and she was anxious. Sensing her unease, Christina put on a serious face. "You know, you two really need to talk."

"We _do_ talk," Tris defended. "We talk all the time, actually."

Christina gave her a pointed look: Tris knew what she meant, but was obviously avoiding facing it. "Okay, but not about what you should be. Like how you've both been dealing with what you each went through, _alone_. Or the things that are keeping you apart, or how much you love each other—"

"Chris," Tris groaned, and ran a hand down her face. "It just takes time."

Christina huffed in exasperation. "I know that. But it's been what, five months?"

"Six," Tris murmured.

"Six! Six whole months you two could have been working things out instead of avoiding each other and being apart?" Tris rolled her eyes. "Look, I'm not saying you have to rush right back into a relationship, but it couldn't hurt to make more than your polite Abnegation talk. A blind man could see that you two care about each other. You both deserve happiness."

Tris knew deep down that Christina was right, but it didn't change how complicated things were. Talking with Tobias had done little to reassure him that he'd never hurt her, that he could never be like Marcus. Instead, the brief conversations they'd had over the months had merely highlighted every crack in their relationship and reaffirmed to them that being apart was the right decision. Tobias had confided once that he had nightmares about all that they had been through, but he wasn't the only one that suffered from sleepless nights. Between the pressure put on her to help make the city a success and losing her family, Tris felt broken beyond repair.

Christina had urged her to talk to someone, but Tris had refused, trying to downplay the seriousness of her thoughts and the images that invaded her dreams. Christina would check in on her frequently, making some tea to calm her and hopefully help her get some rest when the need arose. While their friendship had developed quickly, Tris's nightmares were what had brought them even closer; Christina cared for Tris as though she were her own sister.

Tris sat in the cafeteria with Christina, the two of them waiting on Tobias and Will. They could see a few of the people that travel back and forth making their way through the cafeteria, waiting in line or greeting people they knew. They finally came in together, Will rushing to Christina, while Tobias stopped to talk with Emma.

"Four! How are they treating you in there? Not feeding you enough, I see." Emma lifted an eyebrow as she looked him over.

"They're feeding me just fine," Four said, a smirk on his face. "Just been too busy to make it to the gym every day."

She narrowed her eyes at him before nodding her acceptance. "Okay, I'll take your word for it. But if I find out—"

" _Emma_ ," he interrupted with a grin. She waved her hand at him before closing in for a quick hug. Tobias accepted the affection, missing the interactions he used to have with almost everyone at the Bureau.

As soon as he looked up, his eyes locked onto Tris. She was fidgeting in her seat, looking away every time her eyes landed on him. His heart sped up as he made his way to the table, taking a seat across from her.

"Hey, Four!" Christina smiled as Will wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "I'm glad you guys are here. We've missed you."

"We?" Will asked, smirking.

"Yes, we. _We_ missed you, too," she added, kissing the tip of his nose. Tris looked over to see the skeptical look on Will's face, and laughed.

"Oh, now it's funny?" Will said, trying to hide his smile. He held a hand over his heart, feigning hurt.

"Okay, Mister Drama. Let's go get something to eat."

Christina gave Tris a wink as she and Will walked away, leaving the two of them alone. Tris looked at Tobias quickly, then looked away, trying to decide how to start the conversation they needed to have, or if the cafeteria was even the right place to bring anything up. She couldn't figure out why it was suddenly so difficult to speak with Tobias.

"So, how long are you staying?" she said, opting for something safe to start off with.

"I'm… not sure. I was actually given some time off. I was thinking of maybe tagging along on a trip to a city called Ann Arbor. See what things are like in a city that's considered a success. Maybe I can pull some ideas from it to incorporate here."

"Oh. That sounds really… nice."

Tris bit her lip as she played with the hem of her shirt. She contemplated asking him to stay with her for a couple of days to see what would happen. She thought that maybe she could figure out if what they had was worth trying for, or if they had simply become too broken to fix.

"Dinner?" he said, looking towards the growing line. "I missed lunch."

"Yeah." Tris scurried in front of Tobias, keeping her eyes down until they reached the buffet.

It was easier when they were surrounded by their friends. The conversation was relaxed, fun, and Tris and Tobias both laughed. He leaned into her as he held his stomach, Zeke proud of making him laugh so hard. Tris felt those old, familiar feelings as she leaned in slightly, too: sweaty palms, her heart beating faster and her stomach fluttering. She smiled up at him, but he didn't notice.

"Hey guys," Jones said as he walked up.

"Hi, Ben," Tris said, greeting him with a grin, along with the others. He and Ruby had also been given the option to help with rebuilding the city, and they had both agreed to stay at the Bureau: Ruby put her medical background to use in the infirmary, while Jones worked with the NAA to select the people who would be escorted in from the Fringe.

"Mind if I borrow Four for a couple minutes?" Jones waved his goodbyes to the group as he pulled Tobias away. Tris sighed, trying to ignore Christina's stares from across the table. The crowd slowly dispersed until Tris was left there all alone, waiting. She finally left to go find him; she looked around the screen bank and even passed by the security office, but he wasn't in either place. In that moment, she felt like being alone anyways.

She wove her way down into the underground, avoiding the loud, cheerful laughter coming from the bar, and shuffled into the genealogy room. She could always count on it being empty; in the beginning, guards and officials came in occasionally just to see what the big deal was, but eventually they stopped, the reminder of what they had done to these people too much to bear. But Tris found it comforting. It felt like a way to be around the people she had lost and the people she never got a chance to know. It was her past, present, and future, all in one place.

She touched her parents' names, then Caleb's. She even took a moment to mourn Evelyn before moving on to the Abnegation that lost their lives in the attack. Though Tris didn't have any strong beliefs about what happened after death, she often said a silent prayer for them all. Only ninety-six Abnegation survived the attack, out of five hundred and eight.

The tears began to fall as she imagined Robert digging the graves for his parents and sister; the factionless giving back to the only people who had ever cared for them; Amity and Candor and even Erudite uniting to give those who died the peace they deserved. While Tris was glad that they had all put their differences aside to put the city back together, agreeing to give everyone the food, shelter, and security they deserved, nothing could diminish her sadness and guilt, the feeling that she had failed everyone. She failed her parents when she couldn't bring herself to help bury them; she even failed Caleb by being unable to pick up his ashes from the morgue. Working at the Bureau was allowing her to hide herself away from nearly everyone, trying her best to be strong and do what was right and what was needed for everyone else, yet suffering all the while.

She slouched down and covered her eyes as her sobs echoed off the walls. Even though she knew she wasn't to blame, Tris was sure she would always feel like it had all been her fault. Leaving the city had set off a chain of events that ended with the deaths of hundreds of people, and a memory wipe for those that willingly participated, as well as those that were not participants at all. Even if the others could, she could never separate herself from that. Tris wiped her eyes and took a moment to look around before heading to her apartment.

"Have you seen Tris?" Tobias looked up from his tablet to see the worried look on Christina's face.

"Not since I left dinner. Why?"

"Can't find her anywhere and she won't answer my calls. I'm almost positive she's in her room and won't open the door."

Tobias shut down the files he was working on, quickly leading Christina out of the common area of the visitors' dorm and taking her to the security room, where he picked up an all-access keycard. He knocked politely on Tris's door, then harder when there was no answer. "Tris? It's Four," he called out, pressing his ear to the door. Christina shrugged at him, then motioned for him to use the card.

He swiped it and entered, immediately hearing the shower and seeing a light from underneath the bathroom door. "Tris?" he said gently, knocking. "Are you okay?" He panicked a little when there was no response, and cracked the door open. His heart dropped when he saw her curled up in the bottom of the tub, trembling.


	36. ...Before it Grows out of the Ground

"Tris? Oh my God, Tris!" Christina shoved her way past Tobias.

"No, wait," Tobias said, yanking her back. "Do you trust me?" She raised an eyebrow before she looked over at Tris, then nodded. "Then please, Christina, let me handle this."

She tried to object, to ask questions about what he had planned, but he ushered her out without a word. Christina stood in the hallway, hoping that whatever he decided to do would work. She loved Tris, and though it didn't happen often, it was always hard to watch her fall into moments of deep sadness or guilt. Christina had never seen her this bad before; she hovered in the hallway for quite some time before seeking Will out.

Tobias crept into the bathroom, hearing her sobs for the first time. He reached a tentative hand out, hovering before finally placing it on her arm. "Don't!" Tris curled into herself even tighter, shivering. Tobias felt the ice cold water and adjusted it while he shuffled out of his shoes. He climbed into the tub carefully, and wrapped himself around her.

"It'll be okay," he whispered, running his hands gently over her body, using the water to rub some warmth back into her. He pulled her close, placing a gentle kiss on her shoulder. "I promise it will be okay. Just tell me what's wrong." She shook her head back and forth quickly, trying to squirm away while Tobias held her in place, wondering how long she had been like this.

She had relaxed by the time the water started to cool again, and allowed him to help her up. Tobias wrapped a towel around her, and pulled her into his chest. "I'm sorry," he murmured into her hair. "I didn't know how bad…" He stopped, not wanting to upset her further. "I thought you wanted space, so I—"

"I did need some space," she interrupted, her voice strained, "But I needed you, too. And I really didn't think you would leave without saying a word." She slipped out of his arms, and left him standing there. Tobias closed his eyes and took a long, deep breath before doing what he could to clean the mess and dry himself.

He found her in the dark, knees drawn up under a blanket on her couch. She watched him carefully as he stood in the doorway soaking wet, his shirt clinging to every muscle. "Tris—"

"Go." She hesitated for a moment, before adding, "Just hurry back."

He wove through the compound, ignoring the looks and stares he was getting from everyone he passed. He wished he hadn't given up his apartment, but there were more people at the Bureau than ever and he was at Dauntless almost exclusively. He tossed his wet clothes in the corner of his visitor's quarters and pulled on something comfortable. He paused just before he left, deciding to toss a few things into a bag, just in case. He practically sprinted back, swiping the card and shutting the door behind him.

Tris hadn't moved; she watched as he dropped his bag near the door and sat at the opposite end of the couch. "Do you need anything?" Tris bit her lip and shook her head; she wanted him to just hold her close, but she wasn't sure how to say it out loud. "Will you tell me what's going on, then?"

Her lip quivered as she tried to keep her voice steady. "It's all my fault."

"What? Tris, why do you think everything is your fault?"

"Because it is! _I_ came outside the city. _I_ agreed to go into Erudite. _I_ was found out. _I_ was kidnapped. _I_ am the reason Abnegation was almost completely decimated. _I_ couldn't even keep _us_ together, Tobias."

Tris covered her face, leaning further into the back of the couch so he couldn't see her. She hated herself for being so weak, for feeling this way, but it was the truth. She was the common denominator in every scenario. Tobias sat there for a moment, watching, unsure of how he should respond. She lifted her head slightly, looking him right in the eye. "I understand why you left."

He reached out and caught her wrist before she could bury her face again. He was gentle as he tugged her towards him, scooting closer, too; she came to rest right against his side. "Tris, you aren't responsible for anything but you. You can't keep doing this to yourself. I can't stand to see you…" He paused for a moment, trying to make sure she would understand him completely. "Listen, you don't blame me for what happened to Marcus, do you?" She kept her eyes down, but shook her head. "Then why are you being so hard on yourself?"

He placed a finger under her chin, lifting until her eyes found his. He offered her a soft smile, but raised his eyebrow, waiting on her response. "I don't know." She shrugged. "It's just… I feel like I was a part of this before I was even born. Everyone expects me to—"

"Who cares about everyone else? You do what you want, and fuck everyone else's expectations."

One side of his mouth lifted as she chuckled against him. "I don't think it's that easy," she said after a while.

"It could be, if you just let us in."

Tris adjusted herself so she could curl into him, her legs resting over his thighs. He pulled her in and held her close, feeling her body get heavy within minutes. He smiled; it felt like a lifetime had passed since the first night they fell asleep together. Tobias didn't feel any different about it now than he did then: he was still in love with her. He knew there would be ups and downs, and they would probably have to work harder than most couples, but he was certain it would all be worth it. He placed a soft kiss on top of her head, and closed his eyes.

It felt like no time had passed when they flew open, a sharp sting burning his jaw. "No!" Tris called out, wriggling beside him.

"Tris," he said softly, trying to wake her. He managed to grab her arm before she smacked him in the face again, and gave her a quick shake, calling her name a little louder. She relaxed when she opened her eyes and grasped at him, both for something to hold onto, and to make sure he was real.

"Have you been working out?" he asked, rubbing his jaw. "You've got a wicked punch…" Her eyes went wide and she started to pull away. Tobias sensed her unease and held on tighter, running a hand over her hair.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I didn't mean to."

"I know you didn't. I was only kidding." He nuzzled into her. "This happen often?"

"No, not too often. But usually I'm alone. I did get Christina a couple of times, though." She gave a single laugh, recalling the look on her face the first time it happened, and how much crap Christina gave her for the bruise that formed on her shoulder. "I think it helps, having you here," she admitted. Tris let her head fall and started fidgeting with the blanket. "At least I know you're okay this way."

Tobias knew exactly how she felt: she featured in his dreams almost every night. "I still get them, too." He wasn't sure how the admission made him feel. On the one hand, he needed to be strong for her. But on the other, she needed to be reassured that she wasn't alone. "I don't mind staying, if it helps you." She looked up and stared into his eyes for a moment before snuggling back into him. Tris woke twice more that night, thankful that Tobias was there to keep her in his arms.

When he sat down with Commander Ross the next day, Tobias was quick and to the point, having left time at the end of his scheduled meeting to discuss Tris. "I think she feels like she has this responsibility, this duty, to make sure all the pieces fall into place and that every wrong is made right," Tobias said. "And, quite frankly, Sir, I don't think you're helping." He was surprised to learn that Alexander was well aware of Tris's situation, and that she had turned down the help offered to her.

Commander Ross sighed. "I understand your concerns, I do. But I don't think it's as damaging as you think it is." Tobias opened his mouth to argue, but Alexander held out a hand, silencing him. "Hear me out for a moment. Tris feels responsible for things she had no control over, right?" Tobias inclined his head at him. "She also had a choice to help us here, and she took it. I can't argue that I might have… influenced her decision. However, she alone chose to work in housing, and I believe it's her way of making things better. She was able to ensure that every factionless in the city ended up with food, clothing, and shelter: the very same people she helped growing up. And when that task was completed, she was able to turn her focus to helping those in need outside of the city. The same people she saw firsthand — the same people she knows are in desperate need. That won't bring back the deceased or fix any of the wrongs she herself experienced, but in her mind, she _has_ to do this. She has to save as many people as she can. What do you think would happen if we took that opportunity away from her?"

Tobias pursed his lips. He was so distressed over the guilt and the nightmares she was experiencing that he hadn't thought of her motivations, or if what she was doing helped her at all.

"I know you're concerned, Four, and I am, too, but I've learned that Tris is the kind of person who needs to work things out on her own. She'll come around, but I think it would help if she had someone to talk to. Someone who understands the kinds of things she went through."

Tobias nodded. He might not have experienced exactly what Tris did, but he could relate to the pain, the isolation, and the fear she experienced. He had worked through his problems alone, too. Maybe it was just the Abnegation way. He canceled his trip outside the city and thanked Alexander for everything he had done and for looking out for Tris.

He swung by Christina's and coordinated with her for Tris to take a few days off. Chris agreed that she needed it, and assured him that things would run smoothly without her. He made one last stop by the cafeteria to pick up some food, and went back to Tris's. She had showered and was brushing her hair, pulling it up into a ponytail. It had grown considerably, the darker color having long since faded. Tobias smiled; she looked more like herself. She smiled back at him, then raised an eyebrow at everything in his hands.

"Didn't know how much food you had, and I figured we could make breakfast."

"I don't know if I have time. I usually just pick up a bagel at the cafeteria and eat at work."

"You have time, trust me."

Tris was irritated at first that Tobias had gone behind her back and arranged time off for her, but when he added in that he had also canceled his trip outside the city, she eased up. If she was being honest with herself, she needed a few days away from everything, and some time with Tobias to find out where they stood couldn't hurt.

They worked together, making eggs, toast, and potatoes. Tris had barely used her kitchen since she'd been back, and it felt good to do something for herself, especially something that was so close to her roots. Even sitting down with Tobias and eating in silence was comforting. He washed dishes while she dried, each movement more relaxing than the last.

Afterwards they sat down on the couch, Tris with a book, Tobias with a report he had to go over. "I thought you had time off," she said, straining to see what he was reading. He turned the tablet slightly, and Tris acted offended.

"I do have time off. That doesn't mean I can't take care of some things."

"That's exactly what it means, Tobias."

She leaned over to snatch it from him, but he moved it just out of her reach, a smirk on his face. She took it as a challenge and crawled over him, knocking it out of his hand. "Careful, Tris. That's government property." She sighed and started to stand when he caught her arm. Tobias pulled her back down, wrapping his arms around her when she nestled into him.

"Talk to me," he whispered. "Tell me what happened yesterday."

"I did."

"Christina said she never saw you that bad before. I just want to make sure you're okay."

She sighed and looked up at him for a moment. While it was true that she had never lost complete control like that before, she didn't need Christina blabbing that she'd ever been like that in the first place.

"I don't know how to describe it, really. After you got here…" Tris looked down at her lap, and started picking at a fingernail. "I ended up in the underground last night. I kinda wanted to be alone, and I let myself get a little lost looking at all their names. So many people…" She looked up at him, her vision blurring. "I think I just finally let it all in. I mean, I've been sad and I've cried, but I've still kept it sort of… away. I just... I read their names and I let it truly sink in, and I really couldn't… _process_ the things they experienced. The fear, the betrayal, watching everyone die around them. I just laid down and I couldn't stop crying. I didn't mean to scare you, but I didn't want anyone to see me like that, or to feel even a shred of what I was feeling."

Tobias nodded as she wiped a stray tear. He understood not wanting to let it all in, keeping the pain at bay. He had done it for years as a child. He hadn't truly learned to deal with what he went through until he met Amar; though they didn't talk about it much, the advice he gave Tobias was enough to help him figure out how to deal with the things he had experienced. It had helped him to realize that it wasn't his fault that Marcus hit him, and that he couldn't have stopped him from killing Evelyn.

"Alexander told me he offered you help. How come you didn't take it?"

"I would have had to go to Erudite." Tobias nodded and pulled her closer. He didn't blame her for that decision. "Do you think you would want to talk to someone now? If they were here at the Bureau?"

Tris shrugged against him. "Honestly? I'm feeling better now. Like, I just sort of let it all out and left it in the tub."

"And if you find it again?"

Tris looked up to see the serious look on Tobias's face. "I really do feel better. But if it happens again, I will."

"Promise?"

She placed a hand on Tobias's chest, crinkling his shirt in her fist. Tobias held completely still as she looked from his jaw to his lips to his eyes. Tris leaned forward, and rested her head on his shoulder. "I promise," she whispered.

Not wanting to stay cooped up all day, the two found their way outside. Tris was pleased that the chill of winter was finally disappearing, that she wouldn't have to bundle up just to get a moment outside. They walked for a while until they gravitated to the greenhouses, content to spend their time planting and harvesting. They made small talk with each other and with anyone they were near until the light began to fade, their bodies sore from the day's labor.

They swung by the cafeteria and picked up a couple of sandwiches, taking turns eating and showering, and Tobias roused Tris when she started dozing on the couch.

"Sorry. I don't know why I'm so tired."

"It's fine. Why don't you go to bed? Be comfortable instead of cramped up on the couch with me."

Tris briefly wondered if Tobias just didn't want to be bothered by her nightmares, or if he didn't want to be so close to her. She nodded and stood up, rushing to her room without another word.

Her dreams differed every night, though they were rarely something you could define as good. They often featured her family or Tobias or her time in Erudite, sometimes a mixture of all three. They were all equally vivid, though their pain varied. The ones where she was still locked in a cell, unable to tell what was real, were the hardest to wake up from. She still had moments of confusion and doubt when she woke. They also made it more difficult for her to go back to sleep.

She was thrashing in her sleep, trying to avoid the syringes when she heard Tobias's voice. "Tris? Tris, wake up." Her eyes fluttered, focusing on the face that was only inches from hers. "You were calling out, so I just…" Tobias smoothed her hair back out of her face and rested his hand on her cheek until she leaned into it and sighed, letting him know she was okay. Tobias didn't know if it was habit or desire that propelled him forward, but he placed a soft kiss on her forehead, his lips lingering long enough to prove that he didn't just miss Tris, he wanted her.

He pulled back hastily, worried he might upset her. "Stay," she called out when he turned away from her. "Please?" He nodded and she scooted back, lifting her blanket so he could crawl in beside her. Her arms found their way around Tobias easily. She nuzzled into him, feeling his warmth as she nestled into the place where she belonged; it felt like she had finally found the piece of the puzzle she had been missing all along.

Opening herself back up wasn't going to be easy. She knew she was still broken, still hurting. But she also knew she wouldn't heal alone. Sure, she had Christina and Neil and some other people around the Bureau, but Tobias was different. The way he held her close and soothed her, assuring her that everything would be okay, let her know that he needed her just as much as she needed him. They would mend each other, forge themselves into something stronger, better.

They spent the next few days much like they did when they first met. Tris showed Tobias some of the changes that had been implemented around the Bureau. She talked about the housing project that she and Christina were responsible for and how it worked, explaining how they were able to incorporate both the factionless and the traitor Dauntless —whose punishment had been to have their memories wiped— into the team of outsiders who were helping to repair the damaged buildings in the city. They also continued to spend time in the greenhouses, both of them finding it relaxing and familiar.

Tobias found himself falling for her all over again. Each day he found something new to love, or rediscovered something that had been forgotten in the chaos. Even at night when Tris woke, terrified or unsure, or when she held him close and cried about something that had upset her, his heart always reached out, wanting to share its strength to make her whole again.

"What are you reading?" Tris asked as they lay in bed. It had become routine for them to spend some downtime together in the evenings, curled up on her couch or relaxing in bed.

"Just something from Therese."

Tris looked up from her book. Tobias was still focused on the tablet in front of him, though his eyes weren't moving. Tris hadn't given much thought to the amount of time he had spent focusing on her, but she could tell by the intensity of his face and his nervous swallow that it was time for her to shift that focus. "Have you talked to her? About Evelyn?"

Tobias nodded. "Just a little." He motioned to the tablet. "Therese said she would have been proud. That this was something she always wanted. Integrating everyone."

Tobias set the tablet down and ran a hand over his face. Speaking with Therese had been difficult, and knowing that Evelyn had confided more in her than she did him had stung initially. But he was only eleven when she left; he wouldn't have understood her concerns had she tried to share them with him. Unlike Evelyn, Tobias didn't have anything to fight for back then. It wasn't until he met Tris that he finally understood what it meant to lay down your life for someone else.

"I never said thank you, you know, for insisting that I wasn't damaged." He looked over at Tris who had put her book down. "For believing that I was… I dunno, worthy. And not just for what I had to offer, but for who I was inside."

"You are worthy," she whispered. "You always have been, and you always will be." Tobias smiled at her words, then held his breath as she crawled over to him, straddling his lap.

Tris watched as his eyes darted back and forth, darkening with each passing moment. She wrapped her arms around his neck and made note of how much she loved the crinkles that appeared in the corners of his eyes with the slight lift of his lips. It was almost torturous how slowly she leaned into him, but Tobias was patient as he tried to give her complete control of the situation. Tris kissed him softly at first, then more insistently when she was reminded of how perfectly they moved against each other. Tobias sat up straighter, his hands splaying across her back, pulling her closer.

"Tris," he whispered against her mouth.

"I love you," she responded. Tobias pulled away just enough to look her in the eyes. "I want to be a better person when I'm with you. You give me strength, Tobias. And understanding and compassion and love." Her eyes lowered as she took a moment to let her hands wander across his chest. "It might not always be easy or good, but Tobias, I want you to be there—"

He kissed her, cutting her sentence short. He didn't need her to say the words out loud: he'd felt them every single moment they'd spent together. Tris was right: loving each other wouldn't always be easy. But Tobias didn't care. Up or down, good or bad, he knew they had made an unspoken promise to always be there for one another.

She pressed herself against him, letting out a soft hum as her arms wrapped back around him. Her fingers trailed up his neck and threaded into his thick hair, sending a wave of goose bumps across his skin. He did the same thing to her, and ran his lips down her neck when she leaned back into his touch. Her gasp made him smile as he pressed soft kisses along her collarbone, his hands slowly pressing underneath her shirt.

Tris encouraged him again, throwing her head back as he raked his fingers up her back, turning them feather-light when he tickled his way back down. Tris fisted his shirt, and quickly pulled it up and over his head before removing her own. She pressed herself against him, clutching his shoulders as the skin-on-skin contact sent a wave of electricity through her; she hadn't even realized how badly she'd been craving that spark between them until it coursed through her body.

Tris kissed his neck, his shoulder as she rolled her hips slowly; Tobias let out a low, deep moan. She smiled as she pulled back from him, watching as his eyes roved over her body. In that moment, she felt the visceral connection that they'd always had, and even felt beautiful as his eyes came back to hers, their deep blue wordlessly conveying everything he felt for her. She gave him a shy smile as she trailed her hand down his bare chest, watching his breath catch as her hand slid between them.

"God I've missed you," Tobias blurted out as she ran her fingertips up and down his length. He had to resist every impulse that told him to lay her down and take her now. He blushed when she giggled and bit her lip, but she had never looked more confident, or more beautiful to him. "I love you, Tris," he whispered before leaning forward and pressing his lips to hers. "I love you so much." He clung to her and kissed her with a fervor even greater than what he had felt before. Tris was everything to him, and he knew he would nurture her and support her for the rest of his life, the same way she would for him.

Unable to restrain himself any longer, Tobias laid her down, taking a moment to look her over before kissing her again. His hand drifted lower, and Tris arched up, silently begging to feel him. "Tobias," she moaned, the both of them laughing when he teased along the waistband of her pants. He caved when she bit her lip again, reveling in the way Tris smiled when he finally gave her what she wanted. As much as he wanted to taste her, he couldn't pry his lips away from her mouth. Instead, he used his fingers and memorized her every movement: from the way she gyrated her hips, to the way she would break away from his kiss to voice her pleasure. He was precise as he took his time, teasing with painstakingly slow circles until she was a panting, shuddering mess.

"God, Tris," he whispered. He had never seen anything more exquisite than the raw emotion she was exuding. He shuddered, too, when he slipped a finger inside of her. He talked against her mouth, whispering how much he loved her, would always love her, as he worked to bring her over the edge again. Tris whispered the same things back to him until she could barely breathe, her body trembling as she came once more.

She wasted no time in removing the rest of her pajamas, urging Tobias to do the same: she needed him to feel as good as she did. She sat on her knees and gently trailed her fingertips along his length as she did before, only this time there was no barrier between them. He was hard, rigid, and it prompted her to explore a little, her confidence having grown knowing that she turned him on.

Tobias's breaths were rapid, stuttered as she leaned down, her warm mouth closing around him. He watched her as she took her time, lost in his own pleasure. Her movements replicated his: torturously slow, yet beyond pleasurable. He hadn't realized how close he was until she looked up at him through her lashes. Seeing her in that position, her gray eyes locked onto his with her mouth wrapped around him nearly made him lose it right then. He pulled her up quickly, kissing away her confusion as they laid down together.

He surprised her by sitting back on his heels and running his hands along her legs, taking his time to kiss up each one, moving to her hips, then her stomach, then her breasts. Tris relaxed into each touch, holding onto him and letting out a hum when he settled between her legs, his lips finding their way back to hers. Their fingers intertwined as he pulled her hands above her head, and eased himself inside of her: she had almost forgotten what it felt like to be connected like this, the contentment and the love and the trust that came along with intimacy. They moved in unison, and Tris let herself feel everything, absorbing the love, the pleasure, the passion until she was drunk with bliss, her build-up coming faster and faster until her eyes were screwed shut, mouth open in breathless satisfaction as she pulled Tobias over the edge with her.

She draped herself lazily over him afterwards, listening to the rhythm of his heart. Tris kissed his chest, smiling at the way it accelerated and how Tobias ran his hand up and down her back as a reward. She would never tire of how she felt when they touched, or how his body reacted to hers. She trailed her fingers across his stomach, muffling her chuckle as he drew his leg up, stilling her hand and begging her to not do it again between laughter. She sighed against him, as she focused on the scar on his leg.

Tris held her own arm out, looking between the two and thinking back to how they got them. It was a reminder that they would always have scars — some they could see, and some that they couldn't. Tris wrapped her arm tightly around Tobias; she no longer wanted to forget that day, or separate herself from the events that had happened — they would always be a part of her.

That night, Tris dreamt of a future with Tobias as she slept soundly in his arms. Waking up with hope was something Tris hadn't experienced in a long time. Though she was nervous about what her feelings meant, Tris was beginning to feel like her future could turn into something that would have made her parents proud.


	37. Those Who Love Us

Amar found Tobias staring off into the chasm. He was leaning over the railing, watching the water, fascinated with the juxtaposition it represented: the water started off calming, almost nurturing, before it angrily churned and became something that had the ability to kill in an instant. Tobias sometimes imagined the Dauntless he'd learned about, the ones who found jumping to their deaths preferable to living factionless. It was a painful choice he could sympathize with, one he was glad nobody had to experience ever again. He smiled as a hand came down on his shoulder.

"Did you talk to him?" Tobias asked.

"Yeah." Amar's voice was hard to hear over the rush of the water.

"Did he at least give you some answers?"

Amar shook his head. "Toward the end, I sometimes got the feeling that George was ashamed to be with me because of what we were… Working with David, the whole push to pass on pure genes, I think it just messed with his head."

Tobias nodded. The trials for Jeanine, David, and George had been held over the past few weeks; Jeanine had worked to delay the inevitable, stalling while she collected evidence for her own defense until she finally ran out of options. She had tried to argue that she was brainwashed by David, convinced that she had to do the things she did because her life and well-being depended on it. David had continued to maintain that he never did anything wrong in the first place, even after a list of cities with the heaviest amounts of damage was found among his things, and he admitted that he had planned to give orders to kill everyone in them. George had chosen not to defend himself, instead accepting whatever punishment the court decided to levy. The three of them had been summarily executed for their crimes against humanity, the same fate that had been bestowed on Max and Eric months earlier.

Amar sighed heavily. "I'm just glad it's finally over. I feel like I don't have to stress about it anymore. I can finally just move on."

"Yeah," Tobias said. "I completely understand."

Amar squeezed his shoulder before they walked out to wait for Tris. It had been a year since the events that took place in the city, since her parents and Caleb had died. Tris was hesitant to come, but she needed to finally take this step forward. She needed to visit their graves. Tobias smiled when the van pulled up and Will hopped out to open the door for Christina and Tris.

"Yeah, yeah. No need to show off," Christina said, smirking. "You're both good boyfriends."

"True," Will said. "But I'm better."

The group chuckled as Tobias helped Tris as she jumped down, pressing a kiss to the side of her head. "Sorry I couldn't come. Had to finalize security for the dedication."

"I know." Her voice was a little strained. She cleared her throat, and flicked her eyes to the van. "I, umm, brought Caleb."

"Oh." Tobias looked in the van to see his urn sitting alongside her bag. "I didn't realize you had finally decided to go to the morgue."

Tris thought about how the Bureau had held onto his ashes for a year, until she was ready. "Yeah. I just thought it was time. You know, that he should be with Mom and Dad."

Tobias watched her for a moment before grabbing her things. She had been good the past six months, was still getting better with each day, and he hoped this wouldn't cause her nightmares to come back with a vengeance.

His worry faded when he watched her take in the compound for the first time, her eyes combing every inch of the Pit. "I can see the appeal," she joked as Tobias nudged her, motioning for her to follow.

"There used to be no railings," he said as they walked up the paths that were carved into the rock.

"Really? When did they get put up?" she asked, leaning over and looking down at the people below.

"About two months ago. It was part of the decree to dissolve the factions." He shrugged. "There's an old elevator just outside the Pit that's being worked on, too. Now the people who choose to live here can stay until they're old. They don't have to fear their choices anymore."

The demise of the factions was unanimously agreed upon once the people of Chicago found out the truth, though most people still identified with them and still used their names. Citizens volunteered to help with the restructuring of the city, most of them opting to move somewhere centrally located where family members from all factions could be together. Thirteen of the least-damaged buildings had been completed so far, but there were countless more to go. Living most of his life in such a narrow portion of the city, Tobias sometimes forgot that there was so much more out there. He knew Tris was eager to let more than just small groups from the Fringe in, but they had to be let in at a trickle, partly because there weren't homes for them yet, and partly because they needed to make sure the newcomers were prepared to follow the rules set by the city.

"Home, sweet home," Tobias said as he unlocked his door. He set Tris's bag in the closet, the urn on his desk. He eyeballed it for a moment, slightly relieved it wouldn't be staying long.

"It's… quaint. And higher up than I thought it would be." Tris walked over to the window, and looked out on the city. From this view, it looked better than she had ever imagined.

"Yeah, well, sorry it's not a posh Bureau apartment."

Tris looked over her shoulder to see a teasing smile on Tobias's face. It had been taxing the past six months, spending weeks apart to only have a day or two together, but they had made it work. It was only temporary, until the new government center was set up in the city. She opened her mouth to give him the news that they were only a week from completion — about five weeks ahead of schedule — when there was a knock at his door.

"Sorry to interrupt," Will said. "But Amar's calling for all of us to have a meeting. You, too, Tris." She groaned, having barely seen any of the compound.

Amar briefed them all on the security protocols, the schedule for who was to speak and when, as well as emergency procedures should anything go awry. They had a group of Fringe that had only come in a week prior, and security was still on high alert. Though nothing had happened since the people from the Fringe began coming in, it generally took them a couple of months to adjust. So far, they were proving that underneath everything, they were good, decent people.

Tris found herself yawning by the time Amar was done finalizing every last detail. She apologized, but Tobias waved it off and took her straight back to his place to get some rest.

 

* * *

 

"Nervous?" Tobias asked, adjusting his earpiece. Everyone who had participated in liberating the city was asked to appear on stage, to receive special recognition for their efforts.

Tris looked up at him, and shrugged. "I'm just happy I don't have to talk."

Tobias chuckled before he pressed a hand to his ear. "Copy." He looked at Zeke who nodded, having heard the same message in his own earpiece. "I don't know why we couldn't have been pulled off detail for the ceremony," he mused. "It would have made things a lot easier."

"You really think Amar would let his best guys off for something as silly as receiving recognition for saving the entire city?"

Uriah snorted as he came up beside Tris. "Ain't that the truth."

They exchanged a few laughs until it was time for them to head onto the stage. The nine of them stood in a line near the back while Jack Kang and Johanna Reyes took turns speaking. As the elected leaders of the city, they gave their blessings and the reasoning behind the memorial to the fallen Abnegation. There was a new sculpture that had been erected —depicting men, women, and children with their hands joined in fellowship— with the date and a memorial plaque giving the full history of what happened to the people who had lost their lives.

Tris got teary-eyed as they began to read each name aloud, tears streaking her cheeks every time she recognized a name. Tobias held her close and ran a hand up and down her back, allowing her to bury her face in his arm when her parents were named. Ruby was able to track down a couple of tissues, coming back just in time to hear Johanna and Jack introduce each one of them individually. They each stepped forward, waving to acknowledge the thanks of the crowd before stepping back into place. Tris felt her breath catch in her throat when special tribute was paid to both Matthew and Caleb. Johanna turned to give her a soft smile as Jack continued talking, thanking them for their bravery and adding in that they truly understood what it meant to be selfless, before asking everyone in attendance to join hands and enter into a moment of silence.

Tris squeezed Tobias's hand and felt Christina's wrap around her other one. She snuck a peek at the crowd after a moment, at the enormous number of people spread out into every area they could fit so they could pay their respects and honor her former faction. As she looked out into the crowd, she saw a young boy cutting across before disappearing. The quick glimpse she caught tickled a memory from the back of her mind. She put her head down, struggling to think of what it could be when it clicked.

Her memories of the boy from the Fringe came flooding back to her. The kindness that he extended to her, the fact that he had probably saved her life; someone like him shouldn't have existed in the outside world according to the Bureau, yet he did. He had sparked so many ideas in her, giving her a different kind of strength; it brought a smile to her face.

"The city of Chicago dedicates this statue to honor those who sacrificed, and to those who lost their lives. May it serve as a reminder that we should always work hard together, live peacefully together, and respect one another fully, no matter what our differences may be." The crowd erupted into loud applause as Johanna and Jack started with Ruby and Jones, going down the line and shaking each one of their hands, thanking them again for everything they had done.

Tobias resumed his post near the stage while the crowd began to filter out, but Tris remained, her eyes roaming the masses until they landed on the person she sought. He was smiling up at her, his hands in his pockets. Tris felt her mood lift as she raced off the stage, pausing just before she wrapped her arms around him, noticing how much happier and healthier he looked. 

"Hi! I didn't know you were here, or I would have found you. When did you get here? Where are you staying?" The questions came out unfiltered, and she only stopped her barrage when he gave her a wide smile. The boy from the Fringe shrugged, then spun around with his arms out, happiness written all over his face. "Is everything okay, though? Do you have a place to live and a job?" The boy nodded enthusiastically. She wanted to ask him his name and a million other questions, though she had no idea how he would tell her. His eyes glistened with a hope she hadn't seen in a long time, one she imagined was in her own eyes when she first left the city. "If you ever need anything, you can find me through the housing department, okay?" They stared at each other for a long moment before he nodded, his smile growing even wider. 

Tris held her hand over her heart, the sense of hope she felt seeing him overwhelming her emotions. He had made it. He gave her a wave and a final smile before turning and leaving her there; she watched his retreating form until he disappeared. She wondered idly if she would ever see him again, if he would ever let her express the gratitude she felt for what he had done for her. Jostling her way through the people still milling around, Tris bumped into Fernando, happily reuniting with him as well.

Tobias had another meeting with Amar when the crowd completely dispersed. When it was over, he grabbed his bag and found Tris, then took her for a walk through the city towards Abnegation. It still looked the same, but it felt different, more alive. The surviving Abnegation had stayed, joined by some of the factionless moving into the homes that were left vacant. Abnegation wasn't stifled or quiet anymore: there were children laughing and playing in the streets, and adults running after them to scoop them up and tickle them. It was a far cry from how they had both grown up.

The graveyard had been constructed in the empty fields a few blocks down from where Abnegation ended and factionless began. Tris looked over the sea of stone, her heart thumping hard in her chest. Tobias took her hand and led her directly to them; he had made sure they were buried next to each other. There was a small part of her that still hoped she would wake up, that everything was one long, horrible dream. But touching their headstones grounded her to reality: they were gone forever.

Tobias unzipped his bag and pulled the urn out, handing it carefully to Tris. She thanked him and held it close as Tobias backed off, giving her the space she needed to grieve. He watched her kneel down, fighting the urge to go to her when he could hear her sobs.

Everything about their deaths was unfair, and Tris wondered bitterly why it had to be her, why she was the one who had to lose her entire family in one day. She held her hand over her chest, like she so often did, and felt their rings resting underneath her shirt. She had kept them hidden away in a drawer for a while, too upset at the thought of them being with her instead of with her parents. But she found herself taking them out more and more, drawing strength from them whenever she needed it. A brief smile touched her lips as she found the newest addition: a small sphere that held some of Caleb's ashes.

Tris looked over her shoulder to see Tobias a few feet away, a worried look on his face. He came to her as soon as she waved her hand, and wrapped his arms around her. "You okay?"

"Not right now, no, but I will be. Thank you for bringing me, Tobias." He kissed the top of her head, and helped her set the urn between the headstones. Caleb belonged with them.

He pulled her up and held her close, waiting until her tears stopped to take her home. They took the train the long way around the city, and Tobias pointed out the various buildings he'd been in that had been renovated and where he'd been overseeing things, as well as the areas where they were thinking about planning smaller housing districts. Tris held her breath as they passed Erudite, and Tobias's arms wrapped protectively around her. It would always be the place where she almost died, and she wasn't sure she would ever get over that.

Restoring the lake was another project they knew was on the table. Tris recalled the expanse of blue she had seen when she finally made it up in an airplane. Uriah had sat next to her, more excited than anyone she had ever seen. They had laughed and joked the entire time; it was one of the most exhilarating moments of her life. She'd laughed at Tobias's horrified face when she told him the story, and made sure to take a long look at it now as a marsh, excited to see it in the future when the water would be all the way up to the shore. She smiled when the train passed the pier, wondering if the government would allow them to open the boardwalk again in time. Seeing the positive changes that were happening around the city lifted her mood enough to know that her parents, and even Caleb, would be proud of how things had turned out.

Tobias was eager to take Tris on a tour of the rest of the compound. He showed her the gym and the training rooms, the net they had used for initiation, and then pointed out some of the shops that were scattered along the pathways in the Pit. "What's that one?" she asked, pointing to the red neon lights.

"Tattoo parlor." She looked at Tobias and gave him a sly smile before dragging him through the door. She browsed the art on the walls, feeling a desire to get a tattoo from an actual member of Dauntless; Tobias humored her, wondering himself what it would be like.

"Can I help you?" Tris turned to see a tall, slender woman smiling down at her.

"Maybe," Tris answered. She looked to Tobias, whose eyes were wide as he stared at the woman in front of them.

"Four," the woman said, nodding her head.

"Tris, this is Tori Wu, George's sister." Tris felt like she had the same, wide-eyed look on her face. She wasn't quite sure how to act.

"It's okay," Tori said, looking between the two of them. "I know what happened to George wasn't your fault. He made his own decisions. If you want a tattoo, let me know, and I'll be happy to help you." She smiled kindly at them, then turned back to her station, busying herself with papers.

"Is she really okay?" Tris asked.

Tobias shrugged. "Okay like you are, maybe. I know they asked her and her parents to testify after George refused to speak on his own behalf. Her father's memory is gone, and her mother was too sick to travel. After Tori found out everything he was accused of, and the evidence the NAA had against him, she said no."

Tris watched the way Tori got lost in her work for a moment, recognizing the need for a distraction. "Come on. Let's get tattoos."

Tris went first, the two of them agreeing to keep it a surprise from each other. It wasn't as painful as Tris remembered, but the steady burn was a welcome diversion. Tori made small talk, and even thanked Tris for the things she went through, the sacrifices she had made for change. Tris just nodded, wishing she had something reassuring to say back to Tori. Instead, she asked Tori what Dauntless life was like and was surprised at how fondly she spoke of it.

"For a long time I was upset at what Dauntless had become, especially after losing my brother. And then the simulation…" She trailed off for a moment and Tris studied her face, interested in how she would react; she was pleased when a small smile finally crossed her face. "The video, the NAA. The bad parts of Dauntless disappeared almost overnight, turning the faction back into what it used to be. The camaraderie, the focus on doing what was right and not what we were told. But then in one day I learned Georgie was alive and a traitor all at once, and I was angry again. But someone I once knew told me that it was impossible to control everything around you, that sometimes you just had to let things go. So I took a deep breath, and I did. Doesn't mean it hurts any less, but it's better than sitting around and letting it consume you."

Tris felt the sting in her eyes as Tori's words rang true for her. She had to learn to let everything go, to accept the things that had happened and move forward with her life. She couldn't keep dwelling on the past, or hoping that it would change somehow. She had to face the truth that it never would.

Tris thanked Tori when she was done, and Tori gave her a hug, telling her to come back anytime.

Christina and Will appeared while Tris stood waiting for Tobias outside the tattoo parlor, watching life in Dauntless. They made small talk about things like the ceremony, moving back into the city, and how they should all join Christina for family dinner on Sunday at Candor. Tris was intrigued at the mention of a zip line when Tobias came out; he dodged the offer to join them the next time they went and quickly changed the subject to dinner in the cafeteria.

Tobias had saved his favorite part of Dauntless for last: Tris was awed when she saw the chasm up close. Tobias directed her to a hidden path that led to the rocks below. He held her hand as they walked down and sat close to each other, keeping their legs up to avoid the spray.

"So, do you think there's enough space for two people in your apartment?" she asked, trying to keep her face neutral.

"Well, that depends on who's asking," he answered, trying to not allow himself to get his hopes up.

"Oh, nobody important. Just your girlfriend." Tris couldn't stop the smile that crossed her face. "I mean, you only have like a week or two to figure it out, since the city center is ahead of schedule and all."

She laughed as he sat up straighter, his eyes alive with excitement. Tobias had asked her to stay with him when the time came, but she wasn't sure if she could be somewhere that would remind her of what had happened to her family every time she opened her eyes. But the Dauntless compound was hypnotizing, drawing her further in with every second she spent there. Besides, these weren't the people who were guilty, and Tris knew it was unfair to put the blame on them. She was learning to forgive them, like she was learning to forgive herself.

She placed a soft hand over his heart, and looked him in the eye. "I don't want to be apart any longer." Tobias let out a breath and closed his eyes, pressing his forehead to hers. Tears pricked at her eyes, at the emotion she could feel radiating off of him, and Tris knew she would never tire of the way he made her feel. She pressed her hand harder, feeling the bandage underneath. "Okay, let me see it!" she said, wiping her eyes quickly.

"You first," he said, eyeing the large bandage over the left side of her chest. Tris grinned and peeled it back, revealing a vibrant orange and red phoenix over her heart, its long tail woven through her ravens. Tobias's eyes flicked from the tattoo, up to her eyes, and back.

"You're my family too, Tobias," she said, placing her hand back over his heart. "I might have made some wrong choices in the past, but I know without a doubt that this one is right."

He smiled as he pulled her hand away, giving it a kiss before lifting the front of his shirt. Tris watched eagerly as he pulled the bandage off his chest, revealing a large raven in flight. "You are my heart, Tris." Tobias watched the smile that grew across her face, feeling his own eyes prickle with heat when a tear escaped from hers. "I will _always_ be your family." She leaned closer and he grabbed her, pulling her into him; they held each other tight as the world carried on above them. Tris was content to stay where she couldn't be found as long as Tobias was by her side.

"This place is beautiful. Do you come down here a lot?" she asked as they broke apart, wiping her eyes and straightening up to make herself more comfortable.

Tobias nodded. "When I want to get away from things, or just think."

"What about?"

"The usual. My parents. The choices we all made to end up here. You." He smiled at her when she looked up at him. "I love you, Tris."

She cupped a hand behind his neck and pulled him into a passionate kiss. No matter how many times their lips touched, it felt just as electric as the first time. "I love you too, Tobias."

As she nestled into him, she felt like she understood why he liked to escape to the depths of the chasm: it seemed like the water energized her, charged her thoughts. As she reflected on her life, she recalled an old quote she had learned as part of her Abnegation upbringing: ' _Our lives are shaped by those who love us, and those who refuse to love us_ '. She had always found it interesting when she was younger, but she hadn't been able to fully appreciate its beauty and truth until that exact moment. Both she and Tobias had been shaped by love; he by the people who had refused to love him, and she by the people who had loved her so much that they sacrificed themselves for her.

She had lost her family, the people who meant the most to her, but born from that loss came people who chose to be a part of her life: a new family formed from love. Tris couldn't imagine her life without Tobias or the wonderful friends they had made. Every day with them brought new challenges, something that invariably helped her strive to be a better person. Just like they chose her, she chose them to be her family, too.

Tobias rose, pulling Tris up with him. "Are you ready?"

"Absolutely."

"Then let's go."

As they exited the chasm together, hand in hand, Tris was finally ready to move forward, with love and hope.

 

 

_— Our lives are shaped by those who love us, and those who refuse to love us. - Author Unknown_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As they emerged from the chasm, the assassin exhaled slowly, and gently pulled the trigger...
> 
> Just kidding. ;)
> 
> Well, that's it for this story. I hope you guys enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Some of you have asked if I'm planning on writing anything else, or if I've started anything new. I do have plans, too many in fact because I can't decide what to do next lol. I've been outlining, but nothing is grabbing me, and I think part of the reason is I just need to take a break. I spent 6 months writing this, and the last 4 that I've been posting, I was still editing almost every day. 10 months on one story, and I'm a little burnt out! I'd rather wait until an idea really inspires me, than shove something out just because. Quality, not quantity. :P
> 
> Please make sure to give your thanks to BK2U as well, because she's the one who put up with me changing things here and there, and would be up at 2 am making sure everything was perfect for me to post. You guys owe her a lot for this wonderful story.
> 
> If you like my writing, or are curious what I may do in the future, make sure you follow me as an author so you can be updated when I post. You can also follow my tumblr, milnerwrites. I can't promise it will be exciting, but if anything is happening in the writing department, I'll do my best to give you some updates there.
> 
> And last but not least, please let me know what you thought of this story! As authors, we do this for fun, and reviews are the only sort of payment we receive. It's nice to get feedback on what we do. Thank you all again so, so much. It's been a blast, and I'll see you sometime in the future!


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